The Corporation

[Ryunday]

Well I basically just had an idea for this and wrote it of the top of my head, enjoy.

 

---

 

The Corporation

 

A single sheet of a newspaper blows majestically throw the air. It gives a sense of a calm and relaxed environment as it sways peacefully in the air, until a foot stomps on it, pinning it to the ground. The foot belongs to a worker loading a truck. The calm atmosphere that was being given off by the sheet of newspaper is instantly overcome by the busy workers in the morning sun. They are rushing and not paying attention too much else besides their jobs.

 

Everything is rushing in the busy streets of Liberty City. Cars fill the streets which separate the skyscrapers of the Liberty City sky line. Blending in amongst these skyscrapers is the spectacle of Zaibatsu Tower. To the civilians on the street this is nothing more than the home of another major company, but really this is the home to a dark underground crime syndicate. All of this major corporations legal activates are just a front for there more shadowy dealings, but there businesses interests goes far beyond there domination of the crime world, this company strives for power. They work hard to manipulate the media, politics and every other organization in power to there advantage.

 

The Tower stands tall overlooking the life on the metropolises streets. Around from the distinguished entrance to the building and past the high concrete walls, with security cameras positioned on top, keeping perimeter around the back of the building is workers loading large trucks painted black with large yellow letters spelling out the word Zaibatsu printed on the side. The trucks are sitting still waiting departure as the workers (all wearing the mandatory Zaibatsu employ jumpsuit) fill the truck with cardboard boxes, which they are transporting out from a loading area inside the building.

 

As this is happening in the loading bay at the bottom of the building other activity fills the inside. As the windows get higher, and pass the shadows given of by other buildings, the windows start to gleam more in the light of the morning sun. Through the windows people can be seen at work, talking on phones in there offices, in meetings, doing paperwork, talking to co-workers, but at the very top of the building in the executive’s floor is a boardroom with a meeting taking place.

 

Inside the board room the view goes for miles, giving a view of the entire city. The buildings below, the harbor with ships sailing throw, and even Portland in the distance. The room is darkened slightly from blinds on the windows blocking the outside sun, and in the middle of the room sits a long table used for board meetings. The table is made out of dark wood, and is highly lacquered. The table is lined with men in expensive suites, all sitting in leather chairs. At the end of the table sits a man. He is holding an opened folder in his left hand and tapping his fingers in rhythm with his right. He reads the contents of the folder silently.

 

The man eventually closes the folder in his hand and sits it on the table. He than places his hands together, rests them on the table, and says “Now for our next order of business.”

Edited October 25, 2007 by Ryunday

[Oxidizer]

Man, I love this!

 

You're gonna continue, right?

[TheJonesy]

Uh........wow?

 

I see that you have made much progress. Excellent, excellent work. Your description and grammar have exponentionally improved.

 

You should most definately continue your fine work. Something a dad could be proud of...

 

and jeleous!

[Ryunday]

lol, to let everyone in on the joke TJ made my dad use to be a writer. Well I am glad both of you liked it. I didn’t really spend too much time on it so I was a bit sketchy about posting it. And no I only planed this as a short story so I don’t think I will continue this.

[Oxidizer]

Ah. Well, that's cool.

 

Have you got any other, more long-term stories in mind?

[Ryunday]

I have one idea but that might not be for a while. I also am writing some other major works but I don’t think I will post them. For now I think I will just post the occasional short story.

[Oxidizer]

Awesome. You gotta!

[silvermanblue]

Very good Ryunday, you got the atmosphere to a tee.

[Ryunday]

Thanks Sterling, I appreciate the comments.

[Vercetti21]

Nice. It's a shame to say that your writing efforts will be missed in Finish the Story 3, Ryunday, but I see that you have improved quite a lot.

[VCHolmes]

Great start, Ryunday. I hope you'll be writing more on this.

Perhaps if the Zs see this, they'll let you into their gang and make this their official story.

[-/TNT\-]

Perhaps if the Zs see this, they'll let you into their gang and make this their official story.

 

Anyway, that was thoroughly enjoyable Ryu, I hope to see more of your stuff.

[VCHolmes]

Perhaps if the Zs see this, they'll let you into their gang and make this their official story. 

 

Anyway, that was thoroughly enjoyable Ryu, I hope to see more of your stuff.

Why the emoticon? I was not being sarcastic. Anyways, sorry, I forgot that Ryunday was already with the Tarkers.

 

 

I don’t think I will continue this.

Forget the Zs, maybe you could write about the Takers if you're not interested in continuing this story. Now I'm not making fun of the Tarkers; I don't even know why everyone does that to you people in the first place. Sorry if I had hurt your feelings.

[Ryunday]

I think the was joke. Also I left the Tarkers a while ago.

[-/TNT\-]

Why the emoticon? I was not being sarcastic. Anyways, sorry, I forgot that Ryunday was already with the Tarkers.

 

 

I don't think Ryunday ever said that he has his eyes on a "gang chronicler" position. Nor do I think he wrote this story for that gang. He is clearly reffering to the game's Zaibatsu, not the GTAF gang.

 

 

[VCHolmes]

I don't think Ryunday ever said that he has his eyes on a "gang chronicler" position. Nor do I think he wrote this story for that gang. He is clearly reffering to the game's Zaibatsu, not the GTAF gang.

I never said any of this either.

I just made a reference to the Z gang, and you people need to stop taking this gang scene like a life-or-death situation.

Lets take this to PMs, if you have anything else to say.

[Ryunday]

@ VCHolmes just to clear something up, now I don’t think you have any experience in the gang scene so this is understandable, but the idea of a gang letting someone join them just because they wrote a few paragraphs about there gang is pretty stupid. Especially for an official gang such as Zaibatsu. Which is one of the reason I think TNT posted the smilie. Like I said before though I do not think you have had any experience in the gang scene, so you would not now how things work so doesn’t worry about it.

 

Anyway I have a new idea for a short story in mind. It’s a bit different to the things I usually write about so I want to give it try.

[VCHolmes]

Fair enough. I'm sorry if I had said anything wrong.

[Ottae]

Oooh, you guys!

 

Great story Ryunday, very descriptive and emotive. When I was reading it, I felt like I was watching it happening in game.

 

I remember when Iminicus did a story similar to this in the old Z HQ topic in the PGC. Though, that was his resignation post, lol.

 

I'd like to see more of this in the future.

[Ryunday]

Thanks Ottae.

 

As for continuing this, I was thinking about it because I like the whole idea of the evil Zaibatsu corporation so much, but if I do it I don’t think it will be for a while as I have a lot of other things I want to finish first. And I also have to make a plot and character and everything before I start writing it.

 

Also I have another idea for a short story. This one should be written more like this one though. I am kind of busy with other things at the moment, but expect another two short stories from me this month(ish).

[Oxidizer]

You have to continue with this! That'll be wicked.

[Vincent Alfano]

Very nice, an excellent opening to a story. The ending entices and intrigues the audience, very well done.

 

I noticed a few grammatical mistakes, however, and have altered them for you if you'd care to read through this. I've bolded & underlined the altered pieces.

 

 

A single sheet of a newspaper blows majestically throw the air. It gives a sense of a calm and relaxed environment as it sways peacefully in the air, until a foot stomps on it, pinning it to the ground. The foot belongs to a worker loading a truck. The calm atmosphere that was being given off by the sheet of newspaper is instantly overcome by the busy workers in the morning sun. They are rushing and not paying attention to much else besides their jobs.

 

Everything is rushing in the busy streets of Liberty City. Cars fill the streets which separate the skyscrapers of the Liberty City sky line. Blending in amongst these skyscrapers is the spectacle of Zaibatsu Tower. To the civilians on the street this is nothing more than the home of another major company, but really this is the home to a dark underground crime syndicate. All of this major corporations legal activates are just a front for there more shadowy dealings, but there businesses interests goes far beyond there domination of the crime world, this company strives for power. They work hard to manipulate the media, politics and every other organization in power to there advantage.

 

The Tower stands tall overlooking the life on the metropolises streets. Around from the distinguished entrance to the building and past the high concrete walls, with security cameras positioned on top, keeping perimeter around the back of the building is workers loading large trucks painted black with large yellow letters, spelling out the word Zaibatsu printed on the side. The trucks are sitting still, waiting departure as the workers (all wearing the mandatory Zaibatsu employ jumpsuit) fill the truck with cardboard boxes, which they are transporting out from a loading area inside the building.

 

As this is happening in the loading bay at the bottom of the building, other activity fills the inside. As the windows get higher, and pass the shadows given of by other buildings, the windows start to gleam more in the light of the morning sun. Through the windows people can be seen at work, talking on phones in there offices, in meetings, doing paperwork, talking to co-workers, but at the very top of the building in the executive’s floor is a boardroom with a meeting taking place.

 

Inside the board room the view goes for miles, giving a view of the entire city. The buildings below, the harbor with ships sailing throw, and even Portland in the distance. The room is darkened slightly from blinds on the windows blocking the outside sun, and in the middle of the room sits a long table used for board meetings. The table is made out of dark wood, and is highly lacquered. The table is lined with men in expensive suites, all sitting in leather chairs. At the end of the table sits a man. He is holding an opened folder in his left hand and tapping his fingers in rhythm with his right. He reads the contents of the folder silently.

 

The man eventually closes the folder in his hand and sits it on the table. He than places his hands together, rests them on the table, and says “Now for our next order of business.”

 

[Ryunday]

Thanks, I edited the first post.

[Turtle]

That was good. I know you weren't reffering to the Z gang but you could still do one for the Tarkers. I would enjoy reading it.

[Ryunday]

I don’t think I will be writing about a gang anytime soon.

[Turtle]

I don’t think I will be writing about a gang anytime soon.

Well, what will you be writing about. I look forward to it .

[VercettiVice]

That was great, Ryunday. The descriptiveness was really good, it made you feel like you were there.

 

[Eminence]

Some of your description is good, but you're trying too hard. Subtlety is your friend.

 

 

A single sheet of a newspaper blows majestically throw the air. It gives a sense of a calm and relaxed environment as it sways peacefully in the air, until a foot stomps on it, pinning it to the ground. The foot belongs to a worker loading a truck. The calm atmosphere that was being given off by the sheet of newspaper is instantly overcome by the busy workers in the morning sun.

 

What I mean is, you're directly describing the atmosphere - not always a bad thing - but you're doing it repeatedly. Sometimes you don't want to just outright tell the reader that there is a "calm atmosphere"; you should use your description to hint at it, leaving the reader to understand for themselves what the atmosphere is.

 

Trivial? Maybe so. Maybe not.

[Ryunday]

Thanks Eminence. I will remember that in the future.