GTA Beta Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 This a story I wrote to be a short story to go to my book that i`am writing of Paratroopers in WW2.The main character is Matt Baker. ***************************************** Chapter 1: The Drop The noise in the plane blocked out everything else. Along with myself there were 14 men onside the plane. Finally after being delayed for weeks the invasion of France.We were going to be the first one in and we had a important role, we were to secure the back of Omaha Beach and stop any German tanks and Infantry from escaping from the beached. The Green light came on signaling that it was time to hook up our parachutes a wire that when we jumped out of the plane the parachute would open. The Jumpmaster asked “Are We Ready???!!!”.Everyone in the plane yelled “Hell Yes!!!”.Suddenly the plane started to take heavy fire from the ground. Apartlely the Germans knew we were here.”GO GO GO!!!” the jumpmaster said as one by one the men jumped out of the plane. I jumped and out and for a second it felt like my parachute was not going to open but then it opened and it pulled me back.By the time I had gained control of my parachute my shoulders felt horrible. My parachute began to descend closer and closer to the ground. I hit the ground hard and when I got up my whole body hurt. I quickly cut away from my parachute and grabbed my gear. Suddenly voices started to come closer and closer.I didn`t know what they were saying but it was in german.Quickly grabbing my gear I ran until I tripped over something and it seemed like I had run for an hour.Getting up I went to see what I tripped on.I couldn’t believe it.It was the C-O for Easy Company.Grabbing my gear I took cover behind some bushes that surrounded me all around. I checked my supplies-145 clip rounds for my rifle,5 cans of K-Rations,2 canteens full of water,75 rounds for my colt .45,and all of my other gear.Grabbing my standard issue wool blanket I cover myself in it and decided to keep some sleep. ***************************************** If anyone wants me to write more just comment and tell me.I will write if the people speak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Better then your GTA5 story by far! Make more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA Beta Posted October 17, 2007 Author Share Posted October 17, 2007 I finally got around to writing another chapter for my novel about a World War 2 paratrooper in Normandy during D-Day.Also listen there is going to be one more chapter about the main character in Normandy then he is going back to England you will have to read the next chapter to find out how the story countiues.Also i`am going to start witing this story like a Journal ***************************************** June 7 1944 I woke up to find some guy trying to take my gear. jumped up and pointed my trench knife at the guy when i saw he was a guy from my unit.Suddenly he yelled back at a bush "Hey guys he one of ours!".Almost as soon as he said that 2 or 3 americans came up.I was pretty happy to see some guys from my unit and when they said they were going back to the command post i grabbed my gear and followed them back. Turns out command is worse then i thought.The "Command Post is actually a crashed glider.Also there is a lot of wounded.Some guy gave me this bag before he died and when i opened it was full of Dog-Tags.Some had blood and one even had a hole through it!I guess their not bullet proof. More Coming Soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vercetti21 Posted October 23, 2007 Share Posted October 23, 2007 (edited) Not to be too harsh, but horrible use of detail. You're just saying what's happening, and not really elaborating or giving the story any emotion. Fix that, and your readers will feel WAY more involved in the story, and interested in the characters. Try looking at The Russian (link in my sig.) Notice how I spice up the story with unique characters, as well as trying to be creative with the way I word each sentence. Learn adjectives, use them. Span out the story some, try writing important events as if they were in slow motion to emphasize them. Work on grammar a bit, that's self-explanatory. Other than that, I think you may have a pretty good story starting up. It just needs that little taste of personality before it's anywhere near perfection. Edited October 23, 2007 by Vercetti21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommy vs. claude Posted October 23, 2007 Share Posted October 23, 2007 Wait, why did he got to sleep? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA Beta Posted October 23, 2007 Author Share Posted October 23, 2007 June 7 1944 Later..... Finally got some warm food in my belly after 12 hours.It seems that everybody is pretty beat up bad.There was this one guy who i knew who had half of his face blown off.i knew the guy from when we went to school together back in Maine. Got some more supplies from one of my buddies.His name in Mike and is from the backwoods of Texas.Turns out we enlisted the same day!Talk about your average dose of weirdness.There also is talk about that Germany is gonna surrender soon.i`am not believing it.If the germans can do anything like they did to some of the wounded guys i sure we`re in for a long road ahead before we take Germany. Also heard that the beaches are secure and the 12th Infantry Divison is breaking through and that we`re gonna be reinforced soon.I hope so because of all of us there are only 15 guys who don`t have any wounds at all.I not one of them because when i landed my arm went numb and it hasn`t worked well since. Also went one patrol with 5 guys and checked out a town and as we went into it the Germans opened up on us with MG-42s,grenades and even a tiger tank came at us before we fell back.The list of our dead and wounded in my unit is this so far 204 Wounded 5 Dead 300 Missing in Action Also got a letter from mom today.Heres what it says "Dear Matt," "How are things going over there?We read about the invasion and hope this letter reaches you.Everything is different now that you are in Europe.The president ordered that there are black outs now and all kinds of thing are rationed,suger,gas,food, but we all know that it is helping some soldier over there fighting the war.Your father is now going around collecting scrap mental for the war effort and you can`t believe what smells like when he comes back from the garbage cans looking for metal and tin. We are all missing you and are hoping for you to come home soon " Love, Mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EasyTiger Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 Keep those chapters coming buddy. good work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Keep those chapters coming buddy. good work Sorry, he's left GTAForums Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA Beta Posted October 26, 2007 Author Share Posted October 26, 2007 I'am BACK WITH MORE CHAPTERS ***************************************** June 8th 1944 All we did today was go on patrol to find nothing and then later went back and got some chow. June 11th 1944 Couldn`t write for a couple of days because things are just getting worse here everday.We took St. Lou but we lost a lot of good men.Even Mike got killed.Sniper got 'em.When i was taking his personal effects i found a letter that he just written the other day.Wounder what his moms gonna fell like when he comes home in a casket. It seems like on tradgy after another.My dad died yesterday from a heart attack.I can't write anymore because my tears are making the paper all wet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TFatseas Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 (edited) One thing on detail, soldiers on the ever changing frontlines would not get their mail one day after the initial phases of an operation, more like weeks, and then they wouldn't rarely get their mail until they were rotated out of the frontline. Also you need to take a look at the actual events of the battle, St Lo wasn't taken till the middle of July for example. Also you need to elaborate on details as said before. For one there wasn't no 12th infantry division in Normandy, in fact it only existed during WW1 1917-18. Also look at the Tables of Organization and Equipment for each side, there was no Tigers in Normandy in the US sectors for the first week, let alone the entire battle. You need to give more detail about the unit the character is in, for example 2 squad, 1st platoon, 2nd battalion 502nd PIR 101st Airborne Division. Anyway how about a change of scenery? The paratrooper in Normandy scenario has been way overdone, hell Normandy in general has been over done. Mix it up, how about the Hurtgen Forest, Operation Dragoon, North Africa, the Eastern Front, Pacific theater etc etc. Better yet how 'bout a fictional WWIII scenario in Central Europe, NATO v. WP, that would be a good story. Edited November 4, 2007 by TFatseas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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