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Caught In the Crossfire


Ziggy455

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It was a sunny day in Liberty city, people doing their everyday things,cars driving past the shops filled with people buying things...

 

jack vangaurd walked down chinatown observing his surroudings,jack was a working man in his early 30's and knew nothing of what was about to happen to him.

 

jack stopped outside a a double windowed shop called the lao shing tea house,jack heard a low rumbling before seeing a blinding flash of light.

Imediatly a 18 wheeler slammed out through the tea house and caused rubble to fly everywhere.jack dived for a stall and threw himself under it for protection.when the truck came to a stop 3 chinamen kicked their way out of the windscreen and jumped on top of the destroyed truck.

 

those fools are heading round here! yelled a chinaman

we'll get the stuff and get outta here then.MOVE! yelled another chinaman

 

suddenly gunshots filled the street as the 3 chinamen dived behind the truck's engine...

jack looked to where the gunshots were coming from and saw 5 men dressed in black buisness suits firing ak-47s at the 3 chinamen.

 

Toni wants his money back ya punks yelled a buisnessman

F*CK YOU!!!yelled a chinaman

 

the 3 chinamen jumped out and fired bullets at the leones.

A stray bullet hits a car fuel flap and causes an explosion killing the leones instantly.

the 3 chinamen laugh as the 5 leones run around screaming alive with flames.

when the leones finnaly dropped the 3 chinamen walked up to the stall and pulled out jack from under it.

Wrong time wrong place boy said a chinamen

 

jack punched the chinaman and jumped over the trucks engine and over the trucks carrier tank...

gunshots hit the tanker and caused a huge explosion throughout chinatown,the surrounding buildings started to collapse as jack ran through door after door of the falling buildings until he tripped over and was caught under some rubble...

 

a helicopter circled the destoryed area and a reporter started to speak

 

i'm leanne forgei and this East Coast Talk Radio

and i'm at the chinatown after todays earlier incident...the explosion shook chinatown as the police arrived today to indentify the bodies so far there are 8,5 of them are the leones and 3 were unidentifiable...

 

across the street a shadow watched the commotion as people crowded the area...

a young girl walked up to the man and asked"sir why are you so dusty?"

 

the man replied well kid i just climbed through 25 feet of rubble and i have work tomorrow...

 

jack vangaurd had escaped with his life and he knew that he'd never head to chinatown again...

 

 

hope you like my story its just one out of the blue and give pointers or comments ! smile.gif

"I don't know about angels, but it's fear that gives men wings."

 

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  • 10 months later...
Grammer!

I can't believe how bad this looks since i posted it, I might re-edit this and put more description and depth into it...Man it sounds corny! (Especially the end:/)

"I don't know about angels, but it's fear that gives men wings."

 

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Grammer!

sneaky2.gif. Check your grammar before saying it to others. Or if that was a joke, it wasn't a good one. confused.gif

 

As for feedback, yeah, the story has alot of errors that interupt the flow of the story. I suggest you run it through a spell check and Microsoft Word. smile.gif

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Grammer!

sneaky2.gif. Check your grammar before saying it to others. Or if that was a joke, it wasn't a good one. confused.gif

 

He can't hear you - the topic is very old! tounge.gif

 

It's interesting to look back on our earliest pieces, isn't it? Mine were fumbling, chaotic and nonsensical - we all start somewhere!

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Grammer!

sneaky2.gif. Check your grammar before saying it to others. Or if that was a joke, it wasn't a good one. confused.gif

 

He can't hear you - the topic is very old! tounge.gif

 

It's interesting to look back on our earliest pieces, isn't it? Mine were fumbling, chaotic and nonsensical - we all start somewhere!

EVEN I THINK THIS STANK! AND I WROTE IT! but like i said i'm going to re-write this better and it will be better!

"I don't know about angels, but it's fear that gives men wings."

 

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