poikly Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 (edited) This story is sh*t and now gone. Edited December 3, 2008 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 17, 2007 Author Share Posted August 17, 2007 (edited) This story is sh*t and now gone. Edited December 3, 2008 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA3Rockstar Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 You don't have to censor your words. The forums already do that. Kind of buy too read it all. I will in a few minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 17, 2007 Author Share Posted August 17, 2007 (edited) *I decided to delete post Good idea, as it is a sh*t post. Edited December 3, 2008 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 17, 2007 Author Share Posted August 17, 2007 (edited) This story is sh*t and now gone. Edited December 3, 2008 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 17, 2007 Author Share Posted August 17, 2007 (edited) This story is sh*t and now gone. Edited December 3, 2008 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 17, 2007 Author Share Posted August 17, 2007 (edited) This story is sh*t and now gone. Edited December 3, 2008 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
secksyjames Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 Wouldn't Tommy be dead? Because if 21 years ago CJ was cheated, Tommy would be 70 or above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Razli Posted August 18, 2007 Share Posted August 18, 2007 Wouldn't Tommy be dead? Because if 21 years ago CJ was cheated, Tommy would be 70 or above. At 71 he could still own the mafia of Vice City, with Starfish Mansion. The Story is ok, but way far-fetched. As you would know, Big-Smoke CJ killed when Chasing Tenpenny. And all this 80 men came out and the 100 Yakuza.....Very unlilkly. I know its GTA-esque but it is bit other the top. And Where the hell do these people come from....CRazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA Beta Posted August 18, 2007 Share Posted August 18, 2007 Awsome Fan Fiction!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fementality Posted August 19, 2007 Share Posted August 19, 2007 I laughed when he thought he was too fat. An ok story.. but like the other guy said far-fetched. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badjab Posted August 19, 2007 Share Posted August 19, 2007 not bad, i didnt really understand the end of the 3rd chapter though and i thought 8ball should have a bigger part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HawaiianHardHitter Posted August 19, 2007 Share Posted August 19, 2007 I like the plot you are giving to this story, but the grammar errors are quite frequent. Other than that you have an aiight story for me to read brah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 19, 2007 Author Share Posted August 19, 2007 (edited) This story is sh*t and now gone. Edited December 3, 2008 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 19, 2007 Author Share Posted August 19, 2007 (edited) This story is sh*t and now gone. Edited December 3, 2008 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 21, 2007 Author Share Posted August 21, 2007 (edited) This story is sh*t and now gone. Edited December 3, 2008 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 21, 2007 Author Share Posted August 21, 2007 (edited) This story is sh*t and now gone. Edited December 3, 2008 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted August 21, 2007 Share Posted August 21, 2007 Could you not have just edited that in to your last post? You'd already triple posted ... why make it 4? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 22, 2007 Author Share Posted August 22, 2007 (edited) This story is sh*t and now gone. Edited December 3, 2008 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 22, 2007 Author Share Posted August 22, 2007 (edited) This story is sh*t and now gone Edited January 6, 2009 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 23, 2007 Author Share Posted August 23, 2007 (edited) This story is sh*t and now gone. Edited January 6, 2009 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 23, 2007 Author Share Posted August 23, 2007 (edited) *I want this post deleted! Edited August 23, 2007 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 Wow! Excellent effort, dude. I liked it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 26, 2007 Author Share Posted August 26, 2007 Wow! Excellent effort, dude. I liked it! Thanks! I worked hard on it so I am glad you liked it! What is your favourite part? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 No problem! My favorite part was definitely the last. Excellent! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 (edited) Thanks. Edited January 6, 2009 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted September 7, 2007 Author Share Posted September 7, 2007 (edited) LOL Edited January 6, 2009 by poikly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 I like the way you copied & pasted the description of Claude from your Big Brother story. I hate to barge in and do this again, but seriously. If you're so bothered about the way the audience perceives this character, then for god's sake - stop saying it's Claude. I don't care what you say, Claude is the guy from GTA3. He looks like that, he acts like that, he doesn't talk - that IS HIS CHARACTER. He IS a cold-blooded, heartless person ... you can't just turn around and change everything about him and say it's the same person. Sure, you could change his clothes - but his personality remains the same, and he should remain mute. Your character isn't Claude. Why don't you just admit it, and make up some other name for him - because he's a totally different character. I know it is quite a rant but I just want people to know that when they write a story and paint a picture for the reader, their characters have to remain the same as their previous counterparts as opposed to just changing like the weather. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 I agree with Eminence -- I've skimmed through this briefly, and Claude isn't Claude; Claude shouldn't talk, either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 Agreed on the Claude-personality front. Unless you're writing a prequel to the game to explain how/why he doesn't speak. But it's your story, so you know, have fun with it. Or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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