Untitled Story

[TenaciousD.]

OK, I wrote this several months back and never posted it. I found it on my hard drive today and edited it slightly. Any C&C is greatly welcomed, I'm just about to enter my second year of English GCSE and any tips on how to improve my writing will be greatly appreciated.

 

Chapter 1

 

"sh*t!" He shouted as he sprinted back over to his bike, he grabbed its handlebars and lifted it from the ground, he got both his feet on the pedals and quickly cycled away, the sweat slid off his forehead and down into his eyes making them sting. He turned his head around to see if they were still following him, they were both sprinting after Adam, he sped up to gain more ground from his pursuers. He went as fast as he could down the road and after turning a corner he slowed, there was no chance they would still be following him.

As he slowed down he had a chance to take in the surroundings, he did not know this part of the city and had certainly not been there before. The East side was not his territory; he soon became lost in the labyrinth of streets and with no signpost or street names in sight he went deeper into the centre of the maze. After trying to find a road name for what seemed liked forever he stumbled upon a small park, he opened the rusty gate and got off his bike. He put the bike on the path and jumped the fence to get into the playground, he sat on the roundabout trying to think of a way to get home or at the least, out of the East side. A group of 4 people were walking towards the park beside the road, Adam heard them talking and hid in a tube meant for children, the inside smelt of piss and weed, it made him want to throw up. After the group had passed he crawled out the tube and went back to his bike.

He walked onto the grass; pushing his bike alongside him, he lay on the ground. He looked up to the clouds above him and watched them float by. He liked the clouds, the day his Mother died 2 years ago he spent the entire day in silence, looking at the clouds float by in the shy. They were his way of remembering her. He never knew why his mother died, he was only 12 when it happened so he wasn't really told. He had asked his Dad many times but he often broke down in tears thinking about her.

He was quickly brought back down to Earth by the distant shouting of "There his is" and "Hurry, or he'll get away". Adam quickly got up from the grass which had stained his torn jeans a light green and grabbed his bike, he swiftly cycled away from the two teens who had increased speed from a slow jog to a flat out sprint.

He began to speed up on his bike changing gears as he went. Adams bike had seem better days and was starting to show its age, with rust starting to appear on the bike it was no longer great for getaways from thugs.

As he pedalled along Kipling Street he looked into the distance above the tops of the houses, he could see a large skyscraper which dominated the skyline, this was only several minutes from his home on the West of the city, he now knew where to go to escape the East side and was determined to get there without getting kicked in the face by two violent teenagers.

"Come on then you assholes" he shouted back to the two teens following him on foot, as looked back to see them both giving him the fingers, Adam chuckled at this site and continued on his bike. "Yeah, that's right, give up!" he shouted just for the pleasure of escaping them both. A car horn blazed out quickly grabbing Adams attention, a red Ford GT was metres away, Adam did a sharp turn of the handlebars to try and avoid the car, his body was taken by the sudden movement and the force threw him off the bike, he went head first over the handlebars after cycling as a great speed into the curb. His body landed on the pavement. He let out a groan of pain as he lay on his side with his arm cushioning the rest of his body. He slowly got up and checked the damage sustained to his bike, he saw a small pool of blood on the ground where his head was. He placed his grazed hand upon his head trying to locate where he was bleeding, sure enough when he removed his hand he saw it covered in blood.

The owner of the Ford got out and approached Adam, "Are you all right kid?" he asked. Adam said nothing, grabbed his bike and cycled off towards the West of the city.

 

[TonyZimmzy]

I figured I'd read and comment because nobody else has so far.

 

It wasn't bad, but I have no idea what's going on (but maybe that's the point). I'm guessing it's some sort of East vs. West fued in this unknown city.

 

Also, spacing it apart would be great for the reader. A few spelling mistakes, but nothing major. It was a decent read .