WKTT Radio

[nosferatu5]

Not funny.

[tremor2501]

Kudos to those that are sharing their tact and talent.

 

I just phoned in.

 

Here's the bit:

 

A-v-i T-w-i-n-k-l-e-s-t-e-i-n

 

"Im so sick and tired of this hippie liberal scumfu*ks pollutin’ my Liberty City. Now, I don’t know about yous but Im an Amerikan. I’ve seen the way Amerika has to treat people and other countries to make it possible for a person like myself to maintain my freedoms. I say our government needs to start torturing more people. I mean that’s the only way to weed out the real terrorists. I don’t even have faith in myself to not be excluded from any terroristic activities. It’s not like I gonna fly a plane into some buildings. But If I see a large group of anti war protestors, well, I’m gonna need to hijack a plane first, and that’s another story. Why are people so bent outta shape about the abolishment of the consitition? I’d give up my freedom for security anyday! My faith lies with my Dick and my hairy Bush."

 

 

 

Go to prisonplanet.com for more ideas

 

[nosferatu5]

Not bad. But not great either.

[zeppelincheetah]

i'm a new poster but have been reading the forums for a while. anywho, i just sent this in:

 

Hey it’s Sheffard S-H-E-F-F-A-R-D, I love the show and I’ll tell you what’s wrong with liberals, they’re not republicans. (haha) We’re fighting a war on terror, and you can’t fight war if you don’t have guns. You lose that way. It’s known that liberals don’t like guns, but they love doves. You know who doesn’t like doves? I’ll tell you who, aliens! It’s a sign of war for them! Didn’t they see the movie where those aliens shot a dove and started destroying the world and king tut had to save everyone. The last thing i want to do is throw a dove at these terrorist and get them all wound up. Basically, liberals hate guns and de facto want terror to win. It’s typical terrorist liberal speak. Talking about global warming this, universal health care that. I got health care and I like my globals warm, any real republican also known as a true American, can tell you that a cold global ain’t fit for a king, and being the king I am, I like my global warm when I’m on it, ya hear? Alright, well I love the show, keep speaking truth ya hear? Alright? goodbye.

best one so far!

 

here's the one i had my sister use. i'm old enough - 23 - but i'm not good at doing characters; she's 21 and can do a pretty good country accent.

 

 

Hi my name is Kate Stewart. K-A-T-E S-T-E-W-A-R-T.  I love your show, long time listener.  Now, I'll tell you what's wrong with America.  Not enough WAR!!!  Those liberals whine and complain about soldiers dying in the War on Terror.  well, What are soldiers for?  After all, They sign up to die for America! They want to die for America!  My pa was in the Australian-American war and he always said to me: Not enough WAR!!!  We need to show those foreigners who's boss.  and you know what, We need to go to war on the liberals too.  I say we nuke the whole state of San Andreas.

 

That's another thing, nukes.  We have these nukes and we never use em.  We might as well.  That would shuttup the goddamn commies.  The ONLY solution to everything is WAR!!!  WAR WAR WAR WAR!!!!

[nosferatu5]

G.R.E.A.T. Just P.E.R.F.E.C.T.

[zeppelincheetah]

G.R.E.A.T. Just P.E.R.F.E.C.T.

thanks!

[MrCarmine]

You guys know you have to be 18 to do this. And alot of you aren't. Don't expect to call in with your little prepubescent voice and be like "oMg GTA 4 BEST GAYME EEVR!" and expect it to be played.

hahaha, i never thought about this but he is right. imagine hearing some whiny kid's voice from www.gtaforums.com when you first enter a car GTA IV.

hopefully the first thing we hear is my sexy, manly voice. no homo.

 

i'll post what i say after i say it...

[nosferatu5]

Then say it.

[travisbatos]

here's a "recording" of my call:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjl4yZoZZ_o

 

I took one of the ideas in this thread from page one or two because I thought it was pretty funny. on the real call, I had to put the headphones on the phone... then I got an idea, in my best eight-year-old voice I said "DAD! WE WANT SOME FOOD!" and on purpose hung up incorrectly a couple times (I kind of smashed it).

[gtaIV_fan]

OK. Here's mine I wrote this just now now. I'm not planning on calling because I'm in England and its going to be expensive but someone can feel free to use this if they like let me know if you do. (My name isn't Jeff but use any name you like)

 

 

Hello my name is Jeff J-e-f-f. Yeah my gripe is about these sh*t governemt taxes. I tell you the government is brainwashing America they are taking all our money in taxes and using it for sh*t purposes, like housing projects and social care! Why cant they use it for something more profitable like the never-ending war on my street. I don't know what it is but we neighbours just can't get along on that street. Once the sun rises till the sun sets its nothing but mass murder and burning people at the stake. It gets ugly! One guy even blew up a car the other day just to get back at Mr Jones for leaving his leaf blower out in the rain. Wife, kids, pet dog and all!

Yeah man, I used to think of it as a bit of fun, you know family day out, but now its just getting out of hand. I mean come on, They got guys 24/7 supplying hand grenades to residents! What the hell is going on!

 

Look, If the government want to help the community so much why dont they use the tax money to buy me a new car or repair our street from the hell-hole that it is. I cant even see the f*cking sidewalk anymore for the ash! All that I am saying is the government take so much in tax but for 4 years not one cent has been spent on rebuilding my community! I hate American republican policy for not helping each other when help is needed!

[nosferatu5]

Kind of funny...

[TruXter]

This was my call

"This is TruXter from the forums and I will tell you what's wrong with America, it's the mods, yeah it's the mods, they have nothing but power and their taking over the world, it's irate I tell you"

 

I tried to do it with a hick sounding voice, and yes I meant to miss use the word "irate"

 

ps... mods, that was a joke for you guys and a heads up for the forums!

[flyinhawaiian]

I did one similar to Jeff's...

 

"What goods education and art if you've got a bullet in your head?! I'm no mathmagician, but I say the solution to our problems is war on every other country. Except Australia."

 

That's a small excerpt.

[Brish]

I just finished writing my script, which I'm gonna drunk dial to WKTT in a heavy southern accent later. Anyways, there is one thing I am unsure about. Should I replace the term 'drive-by media'? It is used frequently by Rush Limbaugh on his radio program, but I'm afraid it may be too obscure or uncommon. What do you think?

 

(Definition of drive-by media)

 

Edit: I'll accept anyone's opinion. I don't care who you are. Please answer!

 

Edit: There's still quite a few hours left before I call. I am going to leave, but when I come back I expect an answer to the highlighted question above. The question is being asked in general, I haven't posted my script yet. So generally, should I use that term, or is it too obscure.

 

*Angrily says, "Bye"!*

Edited July 14, 2007 by Brish

[spacemonkey7]

"Hey, is the Burger shot? Oh, bye"

 

I'm only 15 though, so feel free to use my amazing idea.

haha!! thats some funny stuff man!

[Brish]

Someone should call as a gay, conservative Christian.

[aftica]

called this in...

 

Hello?...I am?..uh, OK! Yeah! Great show man, lots of good callers tonight too...in fact, that last guy kinda stole some of my thunder...yeah, the WHOLE reason teh war isn't going so well is that we're NOT taking it seriously enough, if we could just get some more guys over there, hey, I think we'd be good to go...

anyway, i don't wanna go over all that again, so i gotta bring up a more local issue: RECYCLING. yeah, as in: am i the only freakin guy who is fed-up with all the recycling this city's got us doing?

i pay my [email protected] taxes, so pick up my [email protected] trash, and SORT IT YOUR [email protected] SELF if you like!

Or why not just get smart about it, and bury ALL of it?! that way the earth can naturally recycle it... into fuel...for FUTURE use.

hey even the Algonquins knew this much! did they recycle? NO! They shot their food, chopped down trees, they sh!t, they p!ssed, and they moved on!

i just think this city could learn a lesson or two from our history...if we just wern't walking around in such a [email protected] left-wing haze all the time...hmmmpppphhh..anyhow thanks for takin' my call...

[TruXter]

"SPANK... SPANK SPANK!"

[Gregatron]

@Brish,

 

I'm not sure about the term drive by media. It is obscure, perhaps a little too much so. I only post this as you asked for feedback on this issue -- unfortunately I don't have a constructive suggestion for a substitute besides the tired old "liberal media." Sorry.

[Brish]

Alright, I'll take this. I don't want to use 'liberal media' twice, so I'll have to come up with something witty myself. I'll try to make it sound improvised with a well-placed uh.....

 

Thank you, Gregatron.

[Slamman]

I have an idea but not sure where to take it, comedy really is as hard as they say, though I love it. Will Lazlo be the DJ, one has to wonder....or is VRock his home again??

What is the deadline for submissions? I think GTA4 is not the only option for using the possible Voicemail edits/soundbites

[Slamman]

I did one similar to Jeff's...

 

"What goods education and art if you've got a bullet in your head?! I'm no mathmagician, but I say the solution to our problems is war on every other country. Except Australia."

 

That's a small excerpt.

Good call on a continual running joke with the war in Australia, I think they'll appreciate that too

[wooozy64]

they probably will only use 2 or 3 out of the thousands that call, dont waste ur breath. They will have actors and probably Lazlow for GTA 3 and san andreas doing WKTT.

 

but if ur funny, then give it a shot. lol

 

 

 

[LANSER]

 

they probably will only use 2 or 3 out of the thousands that call, dont waste ur breath.

 

i agree but i think they will do a montage of all the names at the begining of the show. "hey this phil from saint marks...this is peter...this is mike from bohan etc"

[d-thunda]

I live in New Zealand, and am only 15, sp I can't call.

I will, however, suggest some ideas that anyone could use if they want.

 

1)hey, This is Frank Caldwell, F-R-A-N-K.

Yeah, I love the show, long time listener, first time caller.

So, I have a problem, I'm 42 and my son is really starting to freak me out, with all his 'internet-talk', oh sorry you can't see me doing air quotes (laugh nervously).

He constantly is calling people on the internet 'noobs' and saying he is 'teh L-3-3-7.'

I have no idea what they mean, but I think all talk like this should be banned.

The right to free speech is the dumbest thing to happen in america since canned bread.

I mean, NO-ONE should be able to speak what's on their mind!

I see those so-called 'hard hitting' stories in the liberty tree, and I instantly think "these people hate america".

Now I love america, don't get me wrong, I just think that anyone who speaks their mind should be shot!

Yeah, that's my opinion on the subject.

It's very un-p.c. I know, my wife left me when she insulted our great government and I tied her up (laugh nervously).

Um, anyway, thanks for taking my call.

 

2)Hi my name is Charlie Darwin, no relation (loud nasally laugh here).

I love the show, now I have a real beef at the moment, no not the cattle kind (laugh).

It's global warming, people say we're cutting down too many trees.

If anything, we should cut down more trees!

And burn any tree based product!

I mean, look at books, do you know how many people die every year in book related deaths?

I don't, but it sure has to be in the triple digits!

I mean look at them, with their sharp edges and black font, who do they think they are?

What, they think they're better than me?

I'm ask you now, America, go down to your nearest library and TORCH IT!

rid the world of that evil, cut down the trees, drive your sports cars, do all these things and the problem of global warming will be solved!

There won't be any trees to cause problems, and then those hippies protesting in star junction can put down their signs (made of wood, might I add) and do something important!

They can stop complaining about the carbon footprint everyone leaves- if our carbon footprints are so bad, I have a solution- don't be born!

In fact, all our problems stem from being born.

Communism- guess what, the communists were BORN!

Hippies- they were born too!

Are we seeing a link here america?

I am, so I say, for america, If you truly love america, DON'T BE BORN!

Thankyou! (hang-up)

 

So these are my ideas, I hope you like them, please comment and if you want, you can call them in!

 

Thanks everyone.

 

[erbzzz]

i called one in yesterday before work and i think it went something like this "Hey this is blah and I'll tell you whats wrong with america. in america there are two kinds of people, people that go out and get what they want and people that stand on the sidelines. And I'm just sick and tired of seeing people work hard and achieve things they want in life. What about the guy that wants to do nothing all day. What if I just want to sit around and play video games all day. Don't I deserve one of those fancy mercedes cars. Don't I deserve a platinum credit card. I mean doing nothing can be a pain in the ass sometimes like... like when you find that really comfortable position on the couch and then the damn phone rings. then doing nothing becomes a battle of frustration and will. And I know alot of people think this whole doing nothing is easy but let me be the first to tell you that it isn't. And that's what's wrong with america."

Yea it sucks but I saw the link, thought it up in like a minute, called it in and went to work. I'm going to have to write up a good one and call it in.

[Flash 103]

Alright, I'll take this. I don't want to use 'liberal media' twice, so I'll have to come up with something witty myself. I'll try to make it sound improvised with a well-placed uh.....

 

Thank you, Gregatron.

Drive-by media is fine for the context. I myself am a Republican and I do listen to Rush and watch O'Reilly and such and it's used every once in a while. Republicans should know what you are talking about.

[nlitement]

I live in New Zealand, and am only 15, sp I can't call.

I will, however, suggest some ideas that anyone could use if they want.

 

1)hey, This is Frank Caldwell, F-R-A-N-K.

Yeah, I love the show, long time listener, first time caller.

So, I have a problem, I'm 42 and my son is really starting to freak me out, with all his 'internet-talk', oh sorry you can't see me doing air quotes (laugh nervously).

He constantly is calling people on the internet 'noobs' and saying he is 'teh L-3-3-7.'

I have no idea what they mean, but I think all talk like this should be banned.

The right to free speech is the dumbest thing to happen in america since canned bread.

I mean, NO-ONE should be able to speak what's on their mind!

I see those so-called 'hard hitting' stories in the liberty tree, and I instantly think "these people hate america".

Now I love america, don't get me wrong, I just think that anyone who speaks their mind should be shot!

Yeah, that's my opinion on the subject.

It's very un-p.c. I know, my wife left me when she insulted our great government and I tied her up (laugh nervously).

Um, anyway, thanks for taking my call.

 

2)Hi my name is Charlie Darwin, no relation (loud nasally laugh here).

I love the show, now I have a real beef at the moment, no not the cattle kind (laugh).

It's global warming, people say we're cutting down too many trees.

If anything, we should cut down more trees!

And burn any tree based product!

I mean, look at books, do you know how many people die every year in book related deaths?

I don't, but it sure has to be in the triple digits!

I mean look at them, with their sharp edges and black font, who do they think they are?

What, they think they're better than me?

I'm ask you now, America, go down to your nearest library and TORCH IT!

rid the world of that evil, cut down the trees, drive your sports cars, do all these things and the problem of global warming will be solved!

There won't be any trees to cause problems, and then those hippies protesting in star junction can put down their signs (made of wood, might I add) and do something important!

They can stop complaining about the carbon footprint everyone leaves- if our carbon footprints are so bad, I have a solution- don't be born!

In fact, all our problems stem from being born.

Communism- guess what, the communists were BORN!

Hippies- they were born too!

Are we seeing a link here america?

I am, so I say, for america, If you truly love america, DON'T BE BORN!

Thankyou! (hang-up)

 

So these are my ideas, I hope you like them, please comment and if you want, you can call them in!

 

Thanks everyone.

You legally claim to be 18 if you press 1 and agree to the terms.. so, go for it! As long as you don't have a funny high voice.

[Slamman]

You shouldn't try to hoodwink Rockstar, your maker may frown on those actions!

 

As far as leaving your name, I do believe since they want you to spell it out, they want your REAL name and will disregard someone calling anonymously

[Gregatron]

You shouldn't try to hoodwink Rockstar, your maker may frown on those actions!

 

As far as leaving your name, I do believe since they want you to spell it out, they want your REAL name and will disregard someone calling anonymously

I completely agree with everything you just said.