Writers' Ideas

[Rhoda]

I've already got another masked character written and even a backstory, but with nowhere to put him. I feel I've wasted Ghost by not developing him as much as I could've with this new character...

[Typhus]

If a character by nature is arrogant, uncaring and cruel (In word and thought if not action) do you think it's still possible that the reader could sympathise with them?

[Claude GTA3]

Prologue edited.

 

It's still not done, and I'm gonna make it longer, and a bit more detailed.

[Rhoda]

If a character by nature is arrogant, uncaring and cruel (In word and thought if not action) do you think it's still possible that the reader could sympathise with them?

It depends on other aspects. I believe I've crafted Ghost in such a way that people sympathise with him despite his obvious characteristics of being an absolute sadist and a bit of a psycho.

[Pat]

If a character by nature is arrogant, uncaring and cruel (In word and thought if not action) do you think it's still possible that the reader could sympathise with them?

Like Masterkraft said, if you use the right tactics, it's very possible. For example, there could be a psychopath who doesn't know that he's a psychopath, he just thinks it's normal behavior.

[Rhoda]

Or better yet, knows it's wrong but every effort to right himself ends in another killing or another slip down the slope of insanity. Whatever you feel you can develop best.

[Vercetti21]

 

If a character by nature is arrogant, uncaring and cruel (In word and thought if not action) do you think it's still possible that the reader could sympathise with them?

You said it yourself.

[Claude GTA3]

Can anybody read the prologue a few posts above and tell me how to improve it?

[Vercetti21]

 

He only got five years due to the fact that nobody knew of the horrible actions of his past, and treated him like a petty thief.

...yet they don't seem to care he was killing cops left and right just before they arrested him? There are no major problems in the grammar or writing, but the actual story itself could use some work.

[Claude GTA3]

I didn't say he killed anyone, I only said he was shooting trough in rage.

 

But, yeah, I get the point, I'll get to it later.

[Vercetti21]

Still, shooting at cops should be counted as multiple attempted murders and resisting arrest. You'd get way more than five years for that.

[Claude GTA3]

Still, shooting at cops should be counted as multiple attempted murders and resisting arrest. You'd get way more than five years for that.

Let's say 20 years, and he's up for parole in 5, since GTA2 happens in 2013, and they cut him some slack due to the fact the Cryo-prison is experimental.

[Vercetti21]

I'm considering doing a "Viva Las Vegas" rewrite sometime in the distant future.

 

I like the plot as it is, but looking back on it at my inexperience, I feel like the writing could be ten times better. It's just missing a style, and a story about Vegas deserves that kind of flare. Of course, I may change some aspects around just to keep some things interesting, a major one of those being a change in the setting - instead of present day, think 1970's Vegas. CB radios, "Casino" mobsters, and the flashy, yet somewhat depressing lights only captured in Vegas from that era. There's just something about it that inspires me to write. Oh, and the chapters would be spread out more. I've learned my lesson, and I'm moving away from the long-ass stuff.

 

Thoughts?

[Rhoda]

Sounds like a good idea, though I've never read your Viva Las Vegas, there's nothing wrong with a little bit of a "re-hash" of old stories. Look at IV, that's essentially III rewritten from the ground up. Now you're older and more experienced, a rewrite may be a good thing indeed, and you can decide just how faithful to the original you wish to be.

[The Unvirginiser]

Preview to GTA: San Andreas stories

 

Cut scene

 

The screen is black, but slowly zooms out revealing that it was zoomed in on a pupil.

It zooms out until two eyes of a black man are in focus, sweat runs down his nose and his eyes look wide and bloodshot.

We hear him gasping for air and he is shaking.

 

A white flashes cuts the scene and we see two black men in a car, pulling up to a curb.

The one on the left is Billy “Big Devil” Hogan, the one on the right is Tony Harrison.

 

The scene cuts to the wheel of the car stopping on the curb.

The door of the car opens and the camera slowly rises up to the window.

 

Billy, who was sat in the passengers seat opens the door and exit’s the car.

He shuts it and the puts his head back in through the window.

 

Camera cuts to a first person view of Tony, looking toward the Billy, sticking his head through the window. Behind him is Cluckin’ Bell.

 

 

Billy (Smiling) : And Smoke want’s his usual does he?

Tony: Yeah, you sure you got enough money for his banquet?

 

 

Billy laughs and waves then turns around and walks towards Cluckin' Bell.

 

The camera slowly looks around the car in Tony’s first person view. We see his hand tapping and singing along to “Express Yourself” by NWA on the radio.

 

Distantly down the street a Balla car is seen towards the camera.

 

The camera leans forward as Tony looks in to the distance.

 

Tony: Sh*t! C’mon Billy.

 

Franticly Tony taps his hands on the wheel faster and faster

 

Tony: C’mon, c’mon, c’mon!

 

He looks to the right and sees Billy struggling to open the doors to Cluckin’ Bell with all the food in his hands.

 

The song ends and the Radio Los Santos DJ begins talking.

 

The camera turns to the Balla car as it gets closer.

A gang member wearing purple colours sticks his head out of the back window, with a Desert Eagle in his hand.

 

We see Tony’s hands turn the key to the engine.

 

The Balla opens fire, the camera shakes and splatters with blood as each bullet hits Tony. We see his hands up, desperately trying to protect himself.

 

The last thing we see from Tony’s view is another Balla standing through the sunroof, throwing a Molotov cocktail towards the car.

 

The camera cuts to just behind Billy, who is diving to the floor, dropping all his food.

We see the cocktail land inside the blood splattered and bullet ridden car.

The shot turns to slow motion black and white as we see the flames spread all over the car, consuming Tony.

 

The camera cuts to a close up of Billy’s face, which is splattered with blood and has the fire reflected in his eyes.

 

The shot goes back to normal and Billy gets up, runs past the burning car and withdraws two pistols from his pants.

 

As the Balla car speeds away Billy chases it down the street, firing the two pistols as it crosses the bridge near the Los Santos Clukin’ Bell.

 

The camera cuts back to the burning car and slowly zooms in on the flames until it goes black.

 

It then zooms out and once again we realise that it is zooming out of two pupils.

This time it reveals the full face, which is Billy’s.

As the camera continues to zoom out we see that he is on a plane, dressed in jeans and a hoody. He is sweating and shaking from the flash back of Tony’s death.

Stewardesses’ and people walk about the plane and we hear the pilot’s voice on the speaker system.

 

Pilot: We are now on our final approach to Las Venturas airport, thank you for flying with Juank-air and we hope to see you again soon.

 

The camera cuts to the runway and we see the plane in the distance, slowly coming in. The sun is bright and the airport is busy with planes.

As Billy speaks it comes closer and closer.

 

Billy: My name is Billy “Big Devil” Hogan… I’ve come to Las Venturas to start a new life and leave behind the gangbanging lifestyle of Los Santos.

When Tony died, I decided enough was enough, I had to either get out or stay there the rest of my life.

 

The Plane lands and slows to a stop just near the camera.

 

Billy: I’ve got a new job now doing the only thing I‘m good at. It’s gonna be more glamorous, I’m gonna make some real money and have a fresh start.

Edited May 29, 2008 by The Unvirginiser

[Struff Bunstridge]

Good start. I like the camera pulling back from the character's pupils; I imagined it while reading it and it looked great, in my head anyways! LV is pretty close to LS to be starting a new life, but never mind. I'm not really up to speed on the Stories: do they generally incorporate some of the same characters, or entirely new ones?

[Rhoda]

It's a bit of both, as ambiguous as that sounds; there's definitely old characters there, and it's a great homage. Not only that but it's good to read up on and experience certain backstories of some characters. For example, in Vice City Stories you play as Lance's brother Vic, who encounters many characters Tommy will eventually run into. If done right, "...Stories" scripts are great to read. Just look at Radicell's.

[The Unvirginiser]

It is set in 1987, one year after Tommy Vercetti kills the Forelli don, Sonny and takes over Vice City.

And Five years before CJ returns to Los Santos.

 

A few of the things that will be included (but not limited to):

 

Brain’s death and CJ leaving

Seville and Temple Families splitting up

Drugs taking over Los Santos

Salvatore’s brother dying and Salvatore becoming don

Salvatore’s cousin dying by Sindaccos

Donald love gaining power

Ryder and smoke leading up to treachery

Blood feather triads killed by Da Nang boys

Bobby Sindacco turns gay and goes east

The Venturas war between the mafia families kicks off

 

 

Do some research boys, these are all in the GTA timeline

 

 

Yeah Ive got a lot of plans, the job is private security for Tyrone Madden, an up and coming heavyweight boxer who resembles Mike Tyson.

He is friends with Maddog, Candy Suxxx and BJ Smith.

He is fighting the champion of the world who is British and is backed by two gangsters who resemble the Kray Twins.

 

Meanwhile the Mafia wars rage on, with the added elements of the Siccilian capo Massimo Torini.

The Vercetti Gang move in to Venturas with plans to get a slice of the action.

The Leone family are still bitter about the deaths of Sonny, Harry and Lee.

Donald Love and Avery Carrington invest in a casino, with all the trouble that comes with it.

 

 

In San Fierro the Da Nang and Triad war wages on. The vicious Da Nang leader, Snakehead is the most feared man in the city.

Jizzy B and T-Bone Mendez are massive players in the city and have their own issues.

BJ is hoping to open another used auto shop.

Mike Toreno is in some trouble with some Russians who mean buisness.

 

Billy's little Brother, Andrew "Little Devil" Hogan is constantly on Billy's mind as he worries about him.

The Balla leader, Kane leads the war agaisnt the grove while the drug Lord Big Poppa leads the Vagos.

The Grove families tear apart as Sweet desperatly tries to hold them together.

 

Drugs begin to overrun Santos, with massive Grove Street players like Brain "Big Bear" Thorne being taken under by the plauge.

 

 

 

Trust me, this story is going to be great!

Edited May 29, 2008 by The Unvirginiser

[Rhoda]

A lot of passed San Andreas events there Will, I'm looking forward to this actually. What with the influx of game scripts I was unsure if this was a good move or not if I'm honest. Looks like you're putting some good work into this though, so I wish you all the best.

 

The burning question is will we see Tommy? Only time will tell, I'm sure...

[Struff Bunstridge]

Impressive list... There's quite a lot there that I feel SA didn't expand upon enough, it'll be good to see someone's take on it.

[Rhoda]

Speaking of writer's ideas, I was thinking of a short story today that had a heavy influence of... well, I'm not going into that, but I considered incorporating it into the Ghost canon for cameo purposes, and just to help weave my own universe together. Perhaps even having all of my stories in the future existing in the same universe.

[The Unvirginiser]

 

Speaking of writer's ideas, I was thinking of a short story today that had a heavy influence of... well, I'm not going into that, but I considered incorporating it into the Ghost canon for cameo purposes, and just to help weave my own universe together. Perhaps even having all of my stories in the future existing in the same universe.

Whatever expands that awsome story should go to the top of your priority list!

[Rhoda]

Thanks. But that's sort of the problem; I'd feel that whatever follows Ghost would immediately have to better it, and while I shouldn't worry about that until I've finished Ghost, I can't help but wonder if Ghost is actually going to cripple me.

[The Unvirginiser]

A lot of passed San Andreas events there Will, I'm looking forward to this actually. What with the influx of game scripts I was unsure if this was a good move or not if I'm honest. Looks like you're putting some good work into this though, so I wish you all the best.

 

The burning question is will we see Tommy? Only time will tell, I'm sure...

 

The Vercetti Gang move in to Venturas with plans to get a slice of the action.

The Leone family are still bitter about the deaths of Sonny, Harry and Lee.

 

Trust me, theres a lot more returning characters that I've not mentioned yet

[Claude GTA3]

I wanted to make a gamescript for RiE for a while now, but many people scripts are sh*te if you don't pull it off well.

 

Besides, I think they're too shallow.

[Ronmar The Only]

Alright, I have posted a new story that is specifically for the forum, unlike my Michael Carini piece. It is based around a man known as Richard Cuore, an Uomo D'onore. It is running pretty long, so hopefully several will be able to read it by the time I get back from Italy.

 

At the moment I do not have many more thoughts on what I could do with the character, but I have several preliminary thoughts and will work on it on the plane tomorrow whenever I get tired of reading or something.

 

Also, give the piece hell if cannot understand it or if I made an error. I have not have time to edit it, so I don't care and you would be doing me a favor.

 

Have fun on the forums in my absence.

[The Unvirginiser]

[Danny Phoenix]

Goodie goodie.

[Oblivionz]

What happened to your military story?

[Lethal Nizzle]

Big problem with my Green State fic. My dad put the PC back to factory setting so the first chapter and the part of the second that I wrote has completely gone. But, since I sent part of the draft to Tony, I'm going to ask him when I speak to him next to send it back to me.

 

Huge bummer.

 

EDIT: And Unvirginizer, SA Stories looking good.