Oxidizer Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 (edited) /Removed. Edited December 15, 2011 by Oxidizer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Broker Gangsta Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 I wonder if this can top Mascara and Paranoia. I can't wait till it's done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 I think it may well do. I'm liking the sound of this just as much as I did M&P. Can't wait to see it get underway. As for your original worries about it seeming like a copy or whatnot - who cares, it was yours, afterall! Plus, you can always just think of it as an unofficial sequel - one that doesn't carry on in any way from the last except for its general tone/idea - much like some random horror films do. Oh, and in response to your question to me in the M&P topic - I'm planning to start something soon, once exams are over. I want to think of something good, though, so it might take a little longer. I'm fresh out of ideas at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coral_City Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 My God. Are you sure you can handle it Oxidizer?! Hopefully, this story will be just as engaging as M&P + NOUAS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saltinespike Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 Sounds interesting, but challenging. I'll be reading up on this one (first one of your stories I'll be reading). Heard you were a good writer. Hope you do good. By the way, I like the way you set up the story (first post). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted June 10, 2007 Author Share Posted June 10, 2007 Plus, you can always just think of it as an unofficial sequel - one that doesn't carry on in any way from the last except for its general tone/idea - much like some random horror films do. You're so right. This story will be pretty damn short - the whole thing only consist of 3 scenes - but those scenes will be big. If that makes sense? Hopefully, this story will be just as engaging as M&P + NOUAS Heh. I'm hoping so. It'll be 'easier' to read 'cause there won't be any sexual deviancy or anything like that. Speaking of NOUAS, I definitely ain't forgotten 'bout it. I just had to write this before I continued - it was doin' me nut in. I'll be reading up on this one (first one of your stories I'll be reading). Heard you were a good writer. Hope you do good. By the way, I like the way you set up the story (first post). Thanks! Ain't perfect but I try. I hope you like it! I'm planning to start something soon, once exams are over. I want to think of something good, though, so it might take a little longer. I'm fresh out of ideas at the moment. Wicked! Can't wait for that. Don't feel the need to rush though, I can be patient just. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red_Jacks&Purple_Nines Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 I hope this one blows all your other stories out of the water man! J/K You continuin' "None of us are Saints?" by any chance. Also, cannot wait for more on this story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted June 10, 2007 Author Share Posted June 10, 2007 You continuin' "None of us are Saints?" by any chance. Yeah, definitely! I just gotta write this first. I can't seem to concentrate on NOUAS until I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted June 12, 2007 Author Share Posted June 12, 2007 (edited) Sorry for the delay, but I promise Floodlights will be up soon. I'm still working on it - I hoped it'd have been up already by now - but didn't want to rush this one. So, anyway, here's a teaser for the time being: Despite being the alpha male of the two, Nina always seemed to look after Carl. Most of the time it was instinctual, like that of a big sister. But not at night. Due to Carl's abusive upbringing, he was one who suffered vivid and loathsome nightmares. In his disturbed sleep, he wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, as means of finding safety, something to cling on to. Nina would look down and watched on regrettably, apologetic and feeling useless at not being able to help, as she watched his otherwise artificially happy facial expressions contort into a restless frown. Sweat bedewed his forehead as panic and fear washed over and resided inside of him. She would kiss his soft blonde hair, appreciating the natural yet cologne scent that boys always seemed to have, and hold him as gently and close as possible, doing anything she could to calm down and soothe him. Nina was his anti-depressant. All the characters have complex backgrounds but I think I'm just going to leave Carl's at that - whether his abuse was sexual or violent is up to you guys. Edited June 13, 2007 by Oxidizer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coral_City Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 My God. Carl needs therapy. Good teaser...I'm looking forward to reading the rest of that chapter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted June 13, 2007 Author Share Posted June 13, 2007 I know, poor guy. Slowly but surely getting there. Sorry its taking longer than I expected, some of the aspects/elements of these characters are a bit personal, so it's a little difficult to write. But I'm hell-bent on getting this up before the weekend! I wrote all of the characters' backgrounds earlier, and they are a complex lot! I think the title Products could probably be a term of them all being products of what they've been through. Even the nasty ones are somewhat sympathetic. Not sure whether to post the backgrounds or not though. Should I? Thanks either way for your interest and patience! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 I think it's a tough choice. I mean, ideally - no, you shouldn't really give us anything. Introduce it all to us through the story - that's the best way to get to know a character, obviously. Plus, it's much better than reading something like a profile. If, however, that sounds a little hard to weave in, then perhaps it would be better to simply show us their backgrounds. But, then think again - would it not be better to perhaps find out some of these details later on in the story? Your choice, still. You ask us for too much! It's your thing, do what you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted June 13, 2007 Author Share Posted June 13, 2007 Heh - great minds! I was thinking of introducing it all into the story but wasn't sure. I guess I could post the 'profiles' after or whatever. The story's got a little bit longer than I planned, but I think it's for the best. It's still 2 chapters, but the 2nd part has flashbacks, which will be a nice touch to explain certain 'motives' etc. And if you guys are a bit uneasy that this'll be gritty like M&P, don't worry. This stuff is more provocative than twisted, glamorous and dark - but in a hip/urban and stylish way. Not exactly anything major to warn you about, but there will be minor bisexual themes - for both genders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 I wouldn't really worry about the whole disturbing nature of it. While M&P was gripping and disturbing, it never disturbed me, if you catch my drift. I don't think anything could, really ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted June 13, 2007 Author Share Posted June 13, 2007 That's a relief. I was beginning to think 'Okay, am I coming across as one of these sick weirdo types?' I'm really not, BTW! I just think the whole 'snuff' plot makes for an interesting storyline - I like dark and original pieces. Okay, I'm about a third of the way finished. I'm confident it'll be up before or during the weekend (I knew I should've held off making this thread until I actually wrote something ). Stay tuned, guys. I think you're gonna like this stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted June 16, 2007 Author Share Posted June 16, 2007 Sorry for the double post, but I edited/updated the summary. Floodlights is halfway done, so expect that posted sometime in the week. Sorry again for the delay, guys, but it'll (hopefully) be worth it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TubbyJ Posted June 16, 2007 Share Posted June 16, 2007 Alright dude, can't wait to see it. About the whole 'creepy, snuff film' thing, that's just your writing preference, keep going with it if you want to. I'm gonna be writing organized crime stories for a while, and I'm gonna keep doing it until I've had my fill with the idea(which is gonna be awhile, trust me). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted June 16, 2007 Author Share Posted June 16, 2007 Heh - thanks for your encouragement! I'm definitely going be catching up on your stuff! If the first part ain't up tomorrow, it'll certainly be posted Monday onwards. It's nearly done - just a few finishing touches. Stay tuned... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coral_City Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Heh - thanks for your encouragement! I'm definitely going be catching up on your stuff! If the first part ain't up tomorrow, it'll certainly be posted Monday onwards. It's nearly done - just a few finishing touches. Stay tuned... Damnit Oxidizer! You post more about when you're gonna post the story...rather than actually posting it -- I kid. No pressure though! lol...I can't wait to read the first chapter. I have yet to get started on NOUAS...there's been a sudden surge in stories/pieces being written, my God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 ...there's been a sudden surge in stories/pieces being written, my God. I've noticed that. I remember a time when new topics and chapters were always few and far between. Can't wait for the debut of this, anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted June 17, 2007 Author Share Posted June 17, 2007 You post more about when you're gonna post the story...rather than actually posting it -- I kid. I know! I'm sorry, I promise it'll definitely be up this week. I'm jusy trying really hard not to rush this one to meet self-imposed deadlines, and felt the need to give some teasers here and there so it don't seem like the thread's dead. Can't wait for the debut of this, anyway! Heh. Cheers, dude! I'm hoping to post Floodlights on Monday, but if not, Wednesday at the latest. You can hold me to that... I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted June 20, 2007 Author Share Posted June 20, 2007 Not happy at all. I've finished Part 1 but it is so sh*t. I seriously HATE this stuff! I've got a feeling I'm going to have to re-write this whole chapter from scratch. It's not that bad but the flow of it just doesn't work. I'm so damn pissed off - it's taken a week or so and this is what I come up with? So, so sorry, guys. I promise this'll be up sometime this month (I f*cking hope - I love these characters). I'm keeping the early draft so I can work around that, so hopefully it shouldn't be too long now. I'll post teasers here and there. Sorry again. On a lighter note, expect a NOUAS update each weekend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Don't worry about the time it takes, there's no rush really. I'd much rather read a higher quality piece later on than a worse one that had to be pushed out to meet some sort of deadline, after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saltinespike Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Eminence basically said it. There's quite a few good pieces going around right now. So I suppose you could consider them 'distractors'. Heh. No rush. Not THAT big of a fan. Yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Everyone's still recovering from M&P, you could say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 (edited) Thanks, guys! It means a lot. I think it's better this way actually. At first I was pissed off and almost at the point of giving up, but the dialogue and description is so much better now. And the flow works. You'll be pleased to know that I've already only got 20 odd lines of dialogue to write around and it's ready to post. Expect Floodlights either later today or tomorrow! Edited June 21, 2007 by Oxidizer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 (edited) /Removed. Edited December 15, 2011 by Oxidizer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remember This. Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I think if that was written by anyone except you I would have been put off with the size, but with a story as good as that you lose yourself in it after the first few paragraphs. Incredible. The way you made the characters so human with their detailed backgrounds, the way Carl's life is show to us backwards, the only very slight hint of menace until the very last lines, the pace, everything about that pretty much rocked. I can't see anything wrong, so all I can say is that it was definitely worth the wait! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 Heh. Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. I was scared it might come off as rushed because I wrote that entire chapter today. Man are my wrists aching (and not in a good way ). This stuff is dedicated to you guys for encouraging me! I can't believe I almost gave up on it. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Excellent - very well done. Definitely worth the wait; it has an excellent structure and the way the story is told is so intriguing, it hooks you right in. Can't wait to see what happens to the poor guy. Saying that, though, I feel this one took a long time to get going. The way you went into so much detail about the characters at the start - while the writing is excellent and it is entertaining, it just seemed to be a long time before anything actually happened, and that kinda hinders the flow a little. As well that, a lot of the description seems to be the same as M&P, but applied to different people. Like, you're constantly describing all these physical features, and it seems to be a key focus of yours all the time. Not saying it's a bad thing, but I can certainly tell from reading it that you've written it - it's kinda your trademark! One thing I didn't like is that at times it seems to border on becoming a little too lewd, mainly when describing some of the sexual scenes. It can be hard to describe that sort of thing, but sometimes it seems like it's a little tasteless, I dunno. Overall though, thoroughly entertaining, and once it picks up pace it doesn't relent. There's a great story to be told, and I want to be told it! Oh, and as an extra, just a little note regarding grammar: located in the city's more rougher side This should be either "more rough" or just simply "rougher" - it's incorrect to merge the two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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