A poem

[Remember This.]

 

A note pinned to the fridge.

An image of a better place.

Something so small.

So violent.

So perfect.

 

I eat my breakfast and contemplate our eulogy,

Your careful handwriting on a crumpled yellow post-it note.

Our long goodbye,

The briefest touch.

 

'Thank you for the good times,

Pity about the rough.'

 

 

My first attempt at writing, I did it a year ago I think.

Looking back its not great, but I want to get back into writing, so any comments would be helpful.

Sorry its short, maybe my next will be longer.

[EasyAs]

I talk from experiance when I say poetry is made of emotion. I definitely saw that in it. But the poems not too good. Keep at it

[Eminence]

I think it's pretty good.

 

I'm not *too* in touch with poetry, but I can grasp the concept of what this is going on about - an ended relationship - the note is the eulogy. It's the long goodbye, but all it is is a simple two lined note - the second line of which is 'violent' as it's describing the rough times.

 

I like the attention to detail, another example being the word 'careful' to describe the handwriting - it's something that has been thought about 'carefully' and every word has been chosen specifically, much like the poem.

 

Not bad.