None Of Us Are Saints

[Oxidizer]

*deleted*

Edited November 10, 2007 by Oxidizer

[Oxidizer]

*deleted*

Edited August 2, 2007 by Oxidizer

[Oblivionz]

Damn, I'm already loving this story. Keep me informed.

[Red_Jacks&Purple_Nines]

Another kick @$$ story Oxidizer! Rated Good! Can not wait for more!

[Oxidizer]

*deleted*

Edited August 2, 2007 by Oxidizer

[lumpy.flippy]

Very good start to a great plot idea. Just a question are the secret agents part of the ASIS or the CIA as stated in the summary?

 

But i must say, i do like your style!

[Oxidizer]

*deleted*

Edited August 2, 2007 by Oxidizer

[Eminence]

Excellent! Marvellous start to this, very engaging and some absolutely fantastic description in there. Never watched Prison Break m'self, so I'm not too sure of the link between the two with it being inspired by it and whatnot, but as it's own story this, so far, is excellent.

 

Onto the nitpicking, however!

 

One line I didn't find really 'worked' was this:

 

 

Alex looked up from the detailed pages to look back at her. His slicked back jet-black hair glistening from the sunlight reflected through the glass roof above.

 

The way you describe his hair glistening in the sunlight - excellent description - but I don't think it flows well as its own sentence. I would have simply done this:

 

 

Alex looked up from the detailed pages to look back at her, his slicked back jet-black hair glistening from the sunlight reflected through the glass roof above.

 

Very picky, I know, but I just thought I'd mention it!

 

One line I did love was the one describing 'Special Agent Samuel Kelley'. The straight out of The Matrix part ... brilliant!

 

Loving it so far. Can't wait for the next part ... not before the conclusion of Mascara & Paranoia, of course.

[Oxidizer]

*deleted*

Edited August 2, 2007 by Oxidizer

[Oxidizer]

*deleted*

Edited August 2, 2007 by Oxidizer

[Eminence]

Nice teaser.

 

Lookin' forward to it!

[Oxidizer]

*deleted*

Edited August 2, 2007 by Oxidizer

[Eminence]

Nice chapter, enjoyed it! I especially liked the beginning of each part - they shared some good imagery at the start - the glass window looking out at the city and the burning embers of the joint on the floor. Nice description!

 

I have to say, something I really like about your writing is how well you manage to incorporate the dialogue. I mean, looking back at the first part of this chapter, a lot of it is simply dialogue (well obviously hehe, as that's what the scene is) but you always manage to include some excellent description inbetween, and the entire thing is paced really well - allowing it to flow continuously through the chapter. It's good stuff!

 

So anyway, very nice. I'm liking how its progressing. Although I did notice one thing in there - platinum blonde ... eh?!

 

Just kiddin', it's a whole different story! No worries.

 

Looking forward again to the next part, although I suspect I'll be reading the first part of Products next, then perhaps alternating back to this one? Or do you plan to try and get through one before switching back to the other? Either way, I've got some interesting reading to look forward to ...

[Oxidizer]

*deleted*

Edited August 2, 2007 by Oxidizer

[TonyZimmzy]

Just got done reading M&P and now I started reading this . Gonna read some more tomorrow, keep it up

[Oxidizer]

*deleted*

Edited August 2, 2007 by Oxidizer

[Oxidizer]

*deleted*

Edited August 2, 2007 by Oxidizer

[Oxidizer]

*deleted*

Edited August 2, 2007 by Oxidizer

[Oxidizer]

Not sure when the first part will be up, but I've updated the summary and characters to suit the new storyline.

Edited August 3, 2007 by Oxidizer

[Ryunday]

Nice look forward to reading it.

[Oxidizer]

Thanks!

 

I've got a storyline carefully laid out now and I'm confident the first chapter will be up sometime this month - maybe even over the weekend.

 

I've put the plot into the summary. Tell me what you guys think.

[Oxidizer]

Okay, I'll get on this as soon as I've finished NFTU. Until then, I've got a very solid and badass storyline plotted out, so I figured I'd provide some very small teasers until I finally get around to writing this stuff.

 

Nonexistent: Paul's transfer to a safe unit is sabotaged when a governmental SUV blocks off the route - a car explosion ensues - but is all as it seems?

 

Remission: A secret laboratory underneath the ASIS field office is home to a group of covert scientists experimenting with chemicals and explosives - but what are they planning?

 

Breakdown: Project X.20 is finally unveiled during a deadly confrontation - but what is The Agency's sinister agenda?

 

That ought to keep your imaginations occupied with a few theories until it's ready.

[Oxidizer]

I wrote this just now in an attempt to rid myself of this pesky writersblock and I think it's working. It's taking me longer to write my stuff but I think it's coming off better when I don't rush it to meet deadlines. I'm confident that this will be one of my best stories once it gets started. I might even have the first chapter up sometime during the week - no promises though.

 

 

Stood on one of the three balconies of a clandestine mansion, situated deep in unmarked territory where the premises would remain low-profile from those intent on harming its inhabitants, she breathed an invigorating sigh as she activated her earpiece to answer a single pending call. Only one word transmitted through the device and that was one word Selene Wheeler dreaded hearing: "Progress?"

 

"Agent Kelley," she grimaced. "I'm afraid there's been an incompatible development regarding the Addison assignment." Silence tainted by the slight crackle of bad transmission was the only sound emanating from the high-tech phone. The governmental technology was immaculate but due to being far from what could best be described as normality, the broadcast suffered. She awaited a response which never came and had little option but to elaborate. "He's being transferred to a safe unit tomorrow. They've fixed him up a new identity."

 

If her superior was angry as she had calculated, he certainly didn't show it. Or at least it wasn't audible in his tone of voice. "What time will this transaction take place?" was the calm reply.

 

"10am, sir."

 

Selene held on to the adamantine railings of the balcony as she looked out into the open landscape; nothing other than desert and dry shrubbery was visible. Other than the jaded sight of stars twinkling in the skyline. Moments after her contact had no doubt passed on the new information to his superiors, their conversation terminated simultaneously. "That'll be all."

 

All that transmitted was lull before Selene removed the device from her ear and blinked in direct response to the tactlessness of the man's conclusion. She hadn't found anyone to be as cold as she did Special Agent Samuel Kelley. But she had more worrying issues to be thinking about, opposed to her superior's lack of affectivity.

Edited September 23, 2007 by Oxidizer

[poikly]

Er, where is the story?

All I see is *deleted*.

[Ryunday]

Er, where is the story?

All I see is *deleted*.

Oxidizer is re-writing the story and will post the chapters again when he’s done re-writing them.

[Oxidizer]

Pretty much what Ryunday said (thanks BTW!).

I'm confident the first chapter will be up sometime in October. I've been adding more ideas into the mix earlier today - I still got every intention of writing this.

 

I'm just trying to get my muses back so that I can finished NFTU first - then I can focus all my attention on this.

 

Sorry for the delay!

[gta phil gta]

Oxi you crazy twisted fool.

[Oxidizer]

 

I know!

[Oxidizer]

Found the first two chapters of the original story I posted back in May of last year, so I figured I'd post them again in here. Enjoy!

 

 

Virus

 

Secret Agent Danielle Toreno walked along side her superior, trying to keep up with his long, forceful strides down the ASIS Field Office, situated in the heart of Sydney. The small group of shady government types collectively known among themselves as the Corporation, a multinational assemblage of corrupt agents using the intelligence they receive for their own personal advantages and goals.

 

The brunette dressed sharply in a dark pantsuit touched his upper arm gently to rouse his attention. "Sir." She was grateful when he stopped his rapid pacing to turn and face her.

 

"Yes?" CEO Alexander Raiden asked exasperatedly to having been disrupted. He was already late for a very important meeting with one of his affiliates.

 

"Intelligence as request-" she handed him a file, accompanied by a semi-proud smirk that spread across her lips. He raised an eyebrow behind his black-rimmed, designer glasses in response. Two perfect orbs of brilliant fluorescent green staring back at her expectantly. "We've found them."

 

That caught his attention. His eyes widened in retaliation to the information he had been waiting approximately 6 and a quarter months for. "Where?"

 

"A mansion on the edge of Queensland." Danielle watched on as the 26-year-old dressed in a Cimmerian pinstripe suit turned the cover of the file and skimmed through the data held in his hands. Surveillance and official photographs of a lavish property located in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by trees and hillside.

 

Alex looked up from the detailed pages to look back at her, his slicked back jet-black hair glistening from the sunlight reflected through the glass roof above. He fought back the urge to snap as he was grateful for his proxy's initiative. His antagonistic tone transforming to shock. "How the hell did they manage to afford a property like this?" He pointed to the salary: $30,000.

 

"That's the audacious part." Danielle grimaced. "It would appear that the stolen funds from the Corporation's account that disappeared earlier in the month were taken by Addison and Wheeler." She elaborated further to punctuate her concern. "They've used our money to purchase a safehouse."

 

Alex slammed the file closed and offhandedly passed it back to his second-in-command. His voice embittered and aimed to whoever may be stood behind. "Samuel."

 

Special Agent Samuel Kelley stepped forward with his hands crossed at his waist. He, too, was an impeccably dressed man, wearing sunglasses which gave him that cool yet cliched look that you'd expect an agent to have. He looked like a character straight out of The Matrix. "Yes, sir?"

 

"Go to this address and obtain anyone found inside and bring them back here at once." Alex's eyes darkened. "It's time we settled this score once and for all."

 

 

The jet-black governmental SUV pulled up outside the graveled road of the obscure mansion. The beaming sun brought out the vehicle's polished and shiny appearance. Agent Kelley stepped out from the driver's side and made the short walk across the winding path towards the main entrance.

 

He knocked on the frost-glazed glass window of the front door and waited, adjusting his tie to deal with the respective owners accordingly. This was by no means a social call, but it was standard protocol to look smart. Or at least it was his.

 

No less than a minute later the door opened. Agent Kelley smirked at the man stood before him and removed his shades, revealing two chocolate-colored spheres that blended perfectly with his sandy blonde hair. Former Corporation agent turned rogue, Paul Addison, stood tall of 5ft9 and had dark shaved hair and deep hazel eyes; a Killa Kela look-a-like. He swallowed anxiously, scanning the area for other agents that may have been lurking. "How did you find us?"

 

"Quite a stupid move buying such a costly place." Agent Kelley placed his shades neatly in his jacket's pocket, feeling the familiar inflexibility of a 9mm pistol installed in his holster. "Attracts unwanted attention."

 

Paul squinted challengingly, his hand rested on the door, ready to slam it shut on his assailant's face when the time was right. "So what now, come to kill me?"

 

"Something like that."

 

"Over my dead body." Paul grimaced tenaciously, about to close the door with enough force that if it had collided with the Special Agent's face, it would've at least fractured his jaw. But Agent Kelley put his foot in the way, pushing Paul back further inside, and whipped out his silenced firearm. Paul's eyes widened in dread as the deadly intruder took aim, and before he could do anything, took a shot at his left shoulder, immobilizing and temporarily eradicating his consciousness.

 

Agent Kelley looked down at the bloodied and deadlike form of his elapsed colleague, slotting his gun back into his holster and allowing a relieved sigh to travel his mint-scented breath. "As you wish."

 

 

"And you're sure Selene was nowhere to be seen?" Alex's voice emanated from Agent Kelley's high-tech earpiece that was specifically designed for CIA agents by the government.

 

"Absolutely." Agent Kelley confirmed with dead certainty, looking through his shades at the approaching scenery as he continued to drive his SUV through the city's aperture. "I searched the entire premises twice but to no avail. She wasn't there."

 

Alex's tone became a little more adamant than it was previously. "I trust you left a message for our dear old friend."

 

"Of course. She'll know where to look for her comatose lover." Agent Kelley took his eyes off of the busy roads and avenues to look through the bars that separated him from the backseats of his SUV. Handcuffed to the barred window was a patched up yet still unconscious Paul, slumped in the back. A light chuckle escaped the Special Agent's lips.

 

"Excellent."

 

The question that played on his mind was too tempting to resist. He bit his lip but had to ask. "I'm curious, why didn't you want me to wait for her to return?" His hair blowing slightly from the warm summer breeze that creeped through the wound down windows of the jet-black vehicle. "We could've had them both right now."

 

Alex chuckled at his fellow conspirator's fascination. "What can I say? I'm a playful guy." His humored tone was quick to diminish when he answered the instrument's query. "We've wasted enough resources on those treacherous bastards. Let the bitch come to us for a change."

 

Agent Kelley let out a lighthearted laugh to his superior's response. "Understood."

 

"Well, thanks for keeping me informed." Alex cleared his throat in a way that you knew he was shapeshifting his personality into a more serious one. "You'll be pleased to know that I'm contacting Michael Holmes after this phone call. Make sure that you're here before he is - Addison's a gift."

 

A slight grin played across Agent Kelley's lips. "I'll be there in just under 30 minutes, I'm back in the city as we speak."

 

"Fantastic." Alex concluded. "See you soon." White noise and static the only sound audible after subsequently ending the conversation between the two.

 

Red taillights glowed on the SUV's rear bumper as Agent Kelley floored the accelerator. He had a deadline he sure as hell wasn't going to miss.

 

Inside

 

Watching the city rush past below the Corporation's headquarters, Alex rested his palms on the clear and shiny windows of the 26-story skyscraper; his arms spread and angel-like. His DNA and fingerprints slowly faded from the glass as he pulled his nervously clammy hands away from the window to hearing the office door open. He turned around and grinned coolly, instantly slipping into a more relaxed and calmed persona. "Michael."

 

Agent Kelley ducked his head modestly to the dark-haired man who had passed through the dark oak doors of the CEO's office. A slight smirk played across his lips as he stood watch, imperious. "Prime Minister Holmes."

 

"Afternoon." Prime Minister of Australia, Michael Holmes, unzipped his denim jacket and noted the presence of his colleagues. He nodded to each of them professionally. "Alex, Sam."

 

"Take a seat." Alex made a gesture with his hand, aimed at one of the many vacant chairs positioned around the circular chrome and glass table in the centre of the room.

 

Michael followed suit and slouched down comfortably, his elbows rested on the surface to link his hands together by entwining his fingers in between the adjacent gaps between his knuckles. He locked his connected hands together into a tightened ball, and rested his chin on them. "I understand you have something to tell me." His voice was optimistic, almost as if he was encouraging them to share whatever information they had sooner. He was impatient when it came to surprises.

 

"Paul Addison has been apprehended." Alex circled his chair, that looked far more superior to the others positioned opposite, and resumed seated as he was before he got the call that the Prime Minister had entered the premises. "He's in the building as we speak."

 

"I told you my boy here was an efficient problem solver." Michael smirked as he casually eyed up the Special Agent in their company. "Excellent work, agent."

 

Agent Kelley smiled proudly that barely exposed his perfectly crafted and ice-white teeth. "Thank you, sir."

 

"I do have one question, however." The Prime Minister cut the majestic atmosphere by integrating his only concern into the conversation. They had got the pleasantries out of the way. "Where's Selene?"

 

Alex shared a faint grimace with Agent Kelley before sitting up from his previously slouched stance. He nodded to the wide array of surveillance equipment positioned on another desk, placed out of the way and in a darkened corner of the office. "That's what the monitors have been installed for." The CEO pointed to the screens in question. Michael's eyes followed Alex's glasses-conveyed attentive gaze with intrigue. "She'll be here soon. Count on it."

 

"Fantastic." Michael smacked his hands together in a chipper fashion. "The sooner this sorry mess is behind us, the sooner we can initiate the project."

 

"This time tomorrow we'll be able to get on with our agenda as planned months ago." Alex assured him with dead certainty. Agent Kelley watched on with interest and listened to the words that passed each of their lips intently.

 

"That's what I like to hear." Michael rose from his seat, still intact with his pleasant mannerisms to the information that CEO Raiden had divulged. "With that in mind, I've got a rather important meeting, and I can't afford to be late." His left cheek twisted into one of those awkward grimaces that silently urged the other person to understand and/or agree. "So..."

 

Alex cottoned on and nodded earnestly. "Absolutely." He, too, rose from his seat to walk the VIP out of the office. Agent Kelley glided across the room like a phantom to hold the door open. "I'll call you once those pesky loose ends have well and truly been tied." The CEO reassured him with a mischievous bite to his bottom lip, his voice somewhat condescending.

 

Michael nodded with a light smile glowed across his lower face. He stood in the open doorway, ready to make his leave before addressing the Special Agent who took care of his more personal affairs. "Sam, call me later." Agent Kelley nodded prophetically. Michael turned his attention back on Alex, who he chose to ignore briefly for the patronizing tone to his voice. He knew the CEO didn't take him or his brilliant ideas seriously, but let it slip due to the professional job he did. "Goodbye, Alex."

 

Alex waved him off with a delicate hand movement as the hazel-eyed Prime Minister diminished from the corrupt government headquarters. Agent Kelley shot the CEO a discreet glare before letting the door fall closed behind his actual boss.

 

 

Ex Corporation Agent, Selene Wheeler, dropped the half-smoked joint on the floor of one of the many corridors in the ASIS Field Office, before crushing out its small embers with the heel of her shoe. She breathed a deep sigh to hearing footsteps approaching closer from around the corner to brace herself for what she had to do next. No turning back now. She stepped out from her backed in space to confront whoever was there.

 

"Well, well, well." Danielle and Selene shared one of those despise-you-but-respect-you smirks. "Agent Wheeler."

 

Selene, who wore a petite white pantsuit and red tie, raised her hands to place them on the back of her head when she saw the silenced Uzi tucked inside the Secret Agent's jacket. She made her body language as unthreatening as possibly. "Good to see you again, Dani."

 

"Wish I could say the same for you." Danielle squinted challengingly.

 

"So, what happens to me now?" Selene asked in a tone that if she was scared - like she had every reason to be - she certainly wasn't showing it. Danielle held her suspicious gaze momentarily before waving it off, her stance was probably just Selene being the cocky and arrogant woman she always was.

 

Danielle whipped out her silenced Uzi and aimed it at the rogue agent. Slight unease invaded Selene's otherwise unfazed facial expressions as she cocked her head back defiantly. "Stay put and I won't shoot you."

 

"Understood." Selene agreed with a slight nod as she held her arms on the back of her head. She wasn't taking any chance; rumors of Secret Agent Toreno being trigger happy were rife once before.

 

Danielle sighed proudly as she removed the walkie talkie from her belt and radioed to the boss. A brief moment later and the static soon cleared and transformed into the background noise of the CEO's office. "Sir." She ushered in an enthusiastic and egotistical voice. "I've got her."

 

"So I see." Was the only response. Completely void of any emotion.

 

Danielle turned on the balls of her feet and examined the ceiling of the corridor in a headstrong fashion. It wasn't until she saw the red light blink on a small CCTV camera that she knew why her superior didn't seem surprised. Selene rolled her eyes flippantly; she looked more bored than scared at this point.

 

Holding her gaze upon to discreet surveillance device, Danielle looked up and frowned expectantly. "What do you want me to do next?"

 

"Reunite her with her boyfriend." Alex near snapped before subsequently ending the conversation. Thanks to Danielle, his hard work at trying to beat the levels and finally open up access to Shoreside Vale were quashed. She was a menace to society.

 

"Over and out." Danielle deadpanned with her head at a tilt. She slipped her radio back into her belt and repositioned next to her captive.

 

Selene hid the smirk that was quick to play across her lips by biting on the inside of her bottom lip. She looked at the Secret Agent wide-eyed and expectant. "Well?"

 

"You'll be taken somewhere you'll be happy. For now." The smirk that Selene brandished seemed to have been passed over to Danielle, much like they were sharing the extinguished joint that the rogue agent had snuffed out only moments before. Danielle grabbed hold of Selene's upper arm and yanked her forward; dragging her down the corridor with her firearm remained aimed. "Come on!"

 

 

Danielle repositioned behind a desk in the containment facilities; caged cells that lined the mural walls like hotel rooms. Beside her stood Selene, glaring back at the two agents behind the desk.

 

"I'm needed elsewhere." Danielle drew back the sleeve of her jacket to examine the time to make her excuse look more formal. She wasn't but didn't see any point in hanging around there. The processions always took forever to carry out. She nodded to the platinum blonde agent who stood behind the desk. "Take it from here."

 

Agent Jennifer Hoffman shot Danielle an understanding look as she watched her disappear down the corridor. She cocked her head to the side to face the new prisoner and grimaced. "Wheeler."

 

Selene frowned bitterly when she was forcefully nudged forward toward the desk. She looked up and stared Agent Caroline Walsh square in the eye. The pair shared a dubious look. Jennifer watched on cautiously as Jennifer carried out procedural protocol. "Assailant 316, I hereby register that you'll be held in captivity with 304 until CEO Raiden states otherwise."

 

"Whatever." Selene responded in a flippant tone.

 

Caroline nodded to Jennifer. "Take her away." She watched on in intrigue as Selene was dragged down the corridor towards the cells by the agile figured woman's surprising brute strength.

 

Selene pulled her arm away and out of Jennifer's grasp as the agent who had control of her liberated an access ID and swiped the card in the encoded entry device on the cell's doorway. The red light that recognized the caged cell as locked blinked green, deeming them access.

 

Jennifer stepped aside and made a head gesture for Selene to further inside. "In you get, bitch."

 

Selene stepped over the threshold and looked around the darkly lit holding facility cautiously; her gaze cut off when Agent Hoffman kicked her deeper inside, closing the door on behind her and locking it securely. They weren't going anywhere. Selene looked up from the ground where she landed to glare at Jennifer through the bars as the Corporation brute walked off amusedly.

 

Eyeing up her surroundings, Selene picked herself up from the ground and dusted herself off. A rueful sigh escaped her lips before her vision instantly whipped over to a darkened corner where she heard a pained cough emanate. She knew that sound better than anything and rushed towards where the groan came from.

 

"Oh, my God. Paul." She gasped as she looked down at the limp and beaten body of her cherished fiancé. Selene dived down to cradle him, to which he flinched in pain. "Are you alright?"

 

"Selene?" Paul forced what he hoped as a genuine smile to seeing her there, but the truth was, he wasn't happy at all. Not only are they both imprisoned, but she'll suffer the same punishment as he did. His bruised smile made Selene grimace, he looked at her with a swollen eyelid to his black eye; his left cheekbone grazed. Paul held his sore ribs in a futile attempt to nurse the searing pain that surged through his body as he asked the one question he should have the moment he saw her.

 

"What are you doing here?"

 

And that's all I ever wrote.

[Oblivionz]

Andyyy, my loving e-father. Write more of this.