The Cipriani/Leone War

[TubbyJ]

Well, here's part three. I hope you guys like it. I couldn't get the stuff about Harston in there, that should happen in the next part. The chapter's about two more posts away from completion, then we're really gonna dig in to the story. This chunk of story is also much bigger. Enjoy!

 

Chapter I: Family Matters, Part III

 

Toni Cipriani looked all across the banquet hall of the St. Mark’ s Bistro. He saw the dons of families from Los Santos to Vice City. He knew how to handle himself now as a head of the family, Salvatore Leone had anyway expected him to become don, and as such he groomed Toni to become boss. He looked at what all that he was to inherit, all the Men of Honor that served the Leone family, and they’re undying loyalty and respect. Toni knew what most had already suspected, he was to become don of the Leone family. The future don would command one of the most powerful criminal organizations in the country, and he felt that he deserved it.

 

“Toni, try some of this wine from the old country, Vesuvio says it’s the best in Sicily.” offered the family consigliere, Phillip Caponi.

 

“You want me to try the wine that Vesuvio suggested? Did it ever cross your mind that there might be more in that drink than just wine? Some f*ckin’ consigliere you are.”

 

Phil looked taken aback. “Damn, Toni, I was just trying to take your mind off of this sh*t. Anyways, he wouldn’t f*ckin’ dare. He doesn‘t have the balls.”

 

“Yeah, and you better get your mind on that goddamn address to the whole Administration.”

 

“Don’t worry about it, I got it covered. You need to stop being so f*ckin’ uptight. Look, Toni, it’s in the bag. Don’t f*ckin’ worry. Everything‘s taken care of, you‘re going to become the boss.”

 

Toni looked Phil straight in the eyes “That’s not what I’m worried about. I’m worried about how all these muthaf*ckas-” Toni gestured to the pezzonovante “-think of my family.”

 

“What, so you think that once you’ve eliminated the competition in the city that everyone else wants you whacked? Toni, most of the major cities in the U.S. have only one to two families runnin’ the sh*t. Look at Las Venturas, the Sindaccos run things now, almost know one can touch that sh*t. Y’ know why? Because they keep it locked, Toni, they keep that sh*t locked up real tight. They keep their nose in their business, so everyone respects that and keeps their nose in theirs.”

 

Phil leaned back in his chair thinking he had proven his point. Toni just shook his head, rolled his eyes, and sighed.

 

“Where can I find a good consigliere, like in the old days? That’s exactly what I’m f*ckin’ talkin’ about, you think that we’re invincible, no one’s gonna touch us. Let me give you some advice,” The future don leaned in towards his keenly listening consigliere “you always look over your f*ckin’ shoulder, no matter what. No one’s invincible, everyone has a weakness, even this family. Even in this city, if someone was intent on taking the Leones out of the Liberty City picture, they could do it. You, me, Joey, Frank, Freddy, and everyone else could be out the picture like f*ckin’ that.” Toni snapped his fingers, signifying a moment. “That’s why I want to know what’s under these f*cks fingernails, so I know when it’s coming, and if it’s in my power, to make sure they have a dive in the Monroe river with a nice pair of cement boots.”

 

Toni sat back in his chair and looked straight at Phil “You wanna write that down?” Toni was about to say more when he noticed someone walking towards his table.

 

Phil saw this, too, and said “Here comes Eddie DeFraci.”

 

“Yeah, I see ‘em” Toni sighed.

 

Edward DeFraci ran the Tosino family in Calumet, a major city in the country’s Midwest. He mostly ran just protection and prostitution rings, the boss was continually trying to get into the lucrative drug trade, namely cocaine or Spank. The rackets he owned didn’t pay nearly enough to match what the other families were bringing in, mostly because the Calumet gang scene was run mostly by the Palonio Family. The latter kept a fierce chokehold on their territory and businesses, which were the majority anyways.

 

Eddie himself was going into his fifties, his head was starting to bald, he felt as if there wasn’t much time left for him to become rich. He was desperate, and more importantly greedy. The families saw him as a disgrace for the way he carried himself, begging for even the lowliest business opportunities and as he put “just a taste” for the profits of a business venture.

 

Eddie approached the table. “Toni, Toni, Toni! How ya doin’? Madon, how long has it been?” Eddie prepared for a friendly hug, but Toni sat still, pretending he didn’t notice.

 

“Hi Eddie” mumbled Toni, not even looking at the dishonorable don. “You already know Phil, right?”

 

“Oh hey, Phil! How’re you doin’? Having seen you since I got my button.” Again, he expected a hug, but Phil was much less friendly.

 

“No.” said the consigliere sternly.

 

“Ah, why so cold?” he inquired.

 

“’Cause you’re a dick, that’s why.”

 

Eddie turned towards Toni “Toni, I got a favor I need to ask you.”

 

“What do you want to bloodsuck off me now, Ed?” Toni half-sighed.

 

“Give me a piece of the Vale, Toni. I’ll give you a 40% cut, Toni. I’m gonna set up a few brothels in Pike Creek.” Eddie looked Toni in the eyes, looking as pitiful as he could.

 

Toni turned to Phil “I need some help with the numbers on this one, what’s 40% of absolutely f*ckin’ nothing?” Phil chuckled at the joke “It’s Eddie’s paycheck!”

 

The two men laughed directly at Eddie, mocking him.

 

“f*ck this. I get no f*ckin' respect.” Eddie stormed off.

 

“That was some funny sh*t, Philly. I’m gonna have to tell someone about this. Hey, Frank, Freddy, listen to this sh*t!”

 

The capos walked toward their don and joined in the laugh. The Leone’s enjoyed their new position, a one of intense respect, and sometimes even envy, in their new found empire. Now the only thing left was to name a leader and to get things moving, a time of peace was sure to now follow. After all this fighting, their would be now be a cease to the bloodshed of only the a few months ago. Liberty City would now have a firm and unchanging underworld, and it was only going to get better.

[Coral_City]

Nice chapter -- I like how the story is developing, it reminds me a lot of the Sopranos actually. This piece of dialouge especially:

 

“That’s why I want to know what’s under these f*cks fingernails, so I know when it’s coming, and if it’s in my power, to make sure they have a dive in the Monroe river with a nice pair of cement boots.”

Very Tony Soprano-ish. I also liked the ... well, foreshadowing with Eddie, can't wait to see how he's gonna retaliate. Good job improving the dialouge, it's more wiseguy now .

 

Edit:

Well, actually. The only problem I do have is the fact that the chapter was primarily dialouge, BUT I do understand that you're basically building on the story.

Edited June 18, 2007 by Coral_City

[Eminence]

Not bad - the dialogue's certainly gotten a lot better. It leaves the reader feeling as though they've witnessed a very authentic scene.

 

However, like Coral, the only problem is that it's just been dialogue to further the story. Now obviously, there's nothing wrong with that, but at times it seems to just be dragging out a bit. Nothing's happening to keep the reader engaged - nothing's making the reader desperate to read on and find out what happens next. It's fine for now while the story builds, but try not to get into a habit of doing this - try to start building up and making the reader a little more gripped.

 

Good progression, nonetheless.

[TubbyJ]

Yeah, I was kinda rushing this one out. I'll try and add some more actual events to the story, this whole part was really rather pointless at this stage. Once I get done with the meeting in Saint Mark's Bistro, I promise I'll get down to better stuff.

 

About the Sopranos thing, I figured to tell my story in this way, I'd have to borrow some of Tony Soprano's characteristics. I just hope I stay away from making him a rehashed Tony Soprano.

 

The thing with Eddie is he can't do anything, he doesn't have the power or influence. But perhaps if he allied himself with someone else...someone that would be desperate enough for even the smallest amount of security against a very powerful enemy...

 

EDIT: Well, I just read GTA IV: Vandenburg, and it blows a lot of the stuff out of the water on here. Looks like a gotta kick it up a notch. Not to say I'm competing, it's just now I know where the mark of quality is, and I've been phoning it in recently. So, expect things to get much better...

Edited June 18, 2007 by TubbyJ

[TubbyJ]

I've decided to put this story on the back-burner for a while, to pursue more original pieces. Although I will return to this one, and maybe even have something eventful happen (for a change).

[Sinful]

Hmm, just as I was starting to like it