vicecitylover400 Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 (edited) There are A Million stories in San Andreas. This One Changes Everything. Once A Big San Andreas Gang Member, Big Smoke, Keeps a loyal trust to his friends, but will the money surrounding him change his mind? As a trusted Gang Member Big Smoke has always been trusted by his fellow gang mates, but now that he moves out of the grove, he may be in a delema chose either the good or the bad, but most of all make sure you don't get killed! City Trailer Is Here! The Confirmed date of Release is April 20, 2008(PC) WE REALLLLLY NEAD SOME PEOPLE FOR GAME MAKING!!!! PLEASE PM ME FOR DETAILS!!!!!!! Edited May 28, 2007 by vicecitylover400 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coral_City Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 That was a dreaded experience to say the least The structure of this first person narrative is completely terrible and is just way too short to be called a story. You're misplacing and missing punctuation and there's a couple of spelling errors. It seems as though you typed the entire thing while posting! There's absolutely no flow and I can barely tell who's talking to who...I don't even know what the hell is going on! My advice: head back to the "drawing" board, rethink things through and give it another try. Edit: Sorry if that came out a tad bit harsh! But I would think people need real criticism before continuing certain things. If you want good examples of fan fics, take a look at: GTA: Gran Aroca and Mascara & Paranoia Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4243551 Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicecitylover400 Posted May 18, 2007 Author Share Posted May 18, 2007 That was a dreaded experience to say the least The structure of this first person narrative is completely terrible and is just way too short to be called a story. You're misplacing and missing punctuation and there's a couple of spelling errors. It seems as though you typed the entire thing while posting! There's absolutely no flow and I can barely tell who's talking to who...I don't even know what the hell is going on! My advice: head back to the "drawing" board, rethink things through and give it another try. Edit: Sorry if that came out a tad bit harsh! But I would think people need real criticism before continuing certain things. If you want good examples of fan fics, take a look at: GTA: Gran Aroca and Mascara & Paranoia It's OK its just that I need some constructive critisims and Thanks for the advice! Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4243611 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 I take it you removed the story, then? However good/bad it might've been, keep working at it and show us your improvements. Don't give up! Note @ Coral_City - You said good examples of fanfics are Gran Aroca and Mascara & Paranoia. Gran Aroca, certainly - but Mascara is an original piece, not a fanfic. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4243726 Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicecitylover400 Posted May 18, 2007 Author Share Posted May 18, 2007 (edited) OK the first trailer will be released, on saturday, expect the game (FOR PC) April 20th-ish Edited May 28, 2007 by vicecitylover400 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4244365 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coral_City Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 I take it you removed the story, then? However good/bad it might've been, keep working at it and show us your improvements. Don't give up! Note @ Coral_City - You said good examples of fanfics are Gran Aroca and Mascara & Paranoia. Gran Aroca, certainly - but Mascara is an original piece, not a fanfic. @ Eminence: Oops! I get used to reading fan fics on here that I forget there are original pieces. Still, I think that Mascara & Paranoia is definitely a good piece to check out, esp. to read the excellent writing. Edit: Uhh..game? Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4244478 Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicecitylover400 Posted May 19, 2007 Author Share Posted May 19, 2007 Since I won't be here tommorow, I have decided to post our new CITY Trailer video, If you notice some buildings are missing. Please no saying its made up, I have made this last month for a San Andreas Stories Plan Have Fun, San Andreas Stories City Trailer! Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4244698 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TubbyJ Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 I'm pretty excited about this. Do you have the basic plot down? If not, here are a few suggestions: -You could go with a story featuring Bryan Johnson as the main character. This could take place about one-two years before he gets killed and CJ leaves in 1987. -Cesar Vialpando. This could either take place before or after the events in SA. -Or you could use Sweet Johnson. This would take place during CJ's five year abscence from Los Santos. You could see the slow decline of the Grove Street Families. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4247782 Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicecitylover400 Posted May 20, 2007 Author Share Posted May 20, 2007 Ok, Thanks, the Plot will be released soon, can you please help me design the game, I need people! Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4248146 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Papagiorgio Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 If you want, you could read my SAS story I wrote. It was praised, and followed, but I doscontinued it. You could use it, and take some tips and such on how I wrote it and the basic idea, but in the end, it all should come down to your imagination. My SAS Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4248285 Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicecitylover400 Posted May 21, 2007 Author Share Posted May 21, 2007 (edited) A SAS Crew is made!!! David Rayahin- Game Producer/Director~ViceCityLover400 Josh Gary- Main Storyline Design~ TubbyJ Pablo Stevenson- Assistant Storyline Design~ Red_Jacks&Purple_Nines David Rayahin- Voice Acting~ Vice CityLover400 We still need Game Modders! If you are intrested PM me Please! Edited May 27, 2007 by vicecitylover400 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4248334 Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicecitylover400 Posted May 24, 2007 Author Share Posted May 24, 2007 We currently need people for the following possitions!: Game Designer (As Many) One More Storyline creater (working with TubbyJ) And extra voice acting (as Many) Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4255047 Share on other sites More sharing options...
speekers Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 This story is diarehha coming out of my dick, this story is about as appealing as a f*cking nerd-infested sewer rat sh*t! I've had more fun playing with dog turds! Brian's my ass and Big Smoke's my balls, this game is an immature asshole detergencey feacle matter! I'd rather yank all the hairs out of my scrotum, I'd rather drink diarehha vomited out of a buffalo's anus. It sucking f*cks, it f*cking sucks, it f*cking blows, it's a piece of sh*t! And I don't like it." Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4255410 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red_Jacks&Purple_Nines Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 This story is diarehha coming out of my dick, this story is about as appealing as a f*cking nerd-infested sewer rat sh*t! I've had more fun playing with dog turds! Brian's my ass and Big Smoke's my balls, this game is an immature asshole detergencey feacle matter! I'd rather yank all the hairs out of my scrotum, I'd rather drink diarehha vomited out of a buffalo's anus. It sucking f*cks, it f*cking sucks, it f*cking blows, it's a piece of sh*t! And I don't like it." You say you don't to get flamed, but here you are flaming someone else ongoingly. Very mature of you... Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4255415 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TubbyJ Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 This story is diarehha coming out of my dick, this story is about as appealing as a f*cking nerd-infested sewer rat sh*t! I've had more fun playing with dog turds! Brian's my ass and Big Smoke's my balls, this game is an immature asshole detergencey feacle matter! I'd rather yank all the hairs out of my scrotum, I'd rather drink diarehha vomited out of a buffalo's anus. It sucking f*cks, it f*cking sucks, it f*cking blows, it's a piece of sh*t! And I don't like it." speekers, I hope to God you're being sarcastic. Because I'm writing the script, I'm not gonna take to kindly to that kind of flame. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4255482 Share on other sites More sharing options...
speekers Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 This story is diarehha coming out of my dick, this story is about as appealing as a f*cking nerd-infested sewer rat sh*t! I've had more fun playing with dog turds! Brian's my ass and Big Smoke's my balls, this game is an immature asshole detergencey feacle matter! I'd rather yank all the hairs out of my scrotum, I'd rather drink diarehha vomited out of a buffalo's anus. It sucking f*cks, it f*cking sucks, it f*cking blows, it's a piece of sh*t! And I don't like it." speekers, I hope to God you're being sarcastic. Because I'm writing the script, I'm not gonna take to kindly to that kind of flame. Haha, its a joke. It's a quote from the Angry Video Game Nerd. I just added some new words. But it does suck. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4255490 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TubbyJ Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 Speekers, I don't know who's writing you're saying sucks. Have you taken a look at your sh*t writing? It looks like something I would write in the third grade. Thank god it's in short little bites, you're giving us mercy. Instead of making us read you're hackneyed writing in big chunks, like a giant turd, you give it to us in small doses, more like a f*ckin' cianide pill. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4255508 Share on other sites More sharing options...
WWE_vs_TNA Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 Aiight, break it up you too. TubbyJ just ignore, and speekers just mind to your own stories. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4255520 Share on other sites More sharing options...
speekers Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 Speekers, I don't know who's writing you're saying sucks. Have you taken a look at your sh*t writing? It looks like something I would write in the third grade. Thank god it's in short little bites, you're giving us mercy. Instead of making us read you're hackneyed writing in big chunks, like a giant turd, you give it to us in small doses, more like a f*ckin' cianide pill. Sorry FatassJ, I just don't have much to type really. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4255947 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindancer Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 Sorry FatassJ, I just don't have much to type really. Your not wrong there. Please see your PM Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4255989 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TubbyJ Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 (edited) Speekers, I don't know who's writing you're saying sucks. Have you taken a look at your sh*t writing? It looks like something I would write in the third grade. Thank god it's in short little bites, you're giving us mercy. Instead of making us read you're hackneyed writing in big chunks, like a giant turd, you give it to us in small doses, more like a f*ckin' cianide pill. Sorry FatassJ, I just don't have much to type really. Then why do you try yo write at all? Your San Andreas Stories sucked, B-Dup as the main character, and you didn't even do it good, you just put in some shooting with no real story. Carcer City truly sucked balls, big time. Dude, just forget about trying to bash me. It's not going to work. You suck at really anything that involves speech and if you don't really know me in real life or have seen me the fat joke really doesn't work. P.S. Ya know, I was actually thinking of FatassJ as my name on these forums. But, Tubby won out, it's my nickname in real life. Edited May 26, 2007 by TubbyJ Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4256170 Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicecitylover400 Posted May 25, 2007 Author Share Posted May 25, 2007 Well, I am not exactly happy with this fight! Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4256767 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted May 26, 2007 Share Posted May 26, 2007 Idiot, this forum is for writing stories, not making games, gtfo with your garbage. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4258214 Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicecitylover400 Posted May 28, 2007 Author Share Posted May 28, 2007 Idiot, this forum is for writing stories, not making games, gtfo with your garbage. Well, That is ok, I don't care, I already have others Supporting me! Who cares This will be the 3rd Move! anyways, Its a long time till It comes out, Almost 1 Year, so Yeah! Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4261038 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat. Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 VCL, he's right. This is Writer's Discussion, not Game Making Discussion. This area is for stories, poems, or even just talking about your favorite book/author. If you want a topic to display your progress on a game you're making, it belongs in the Gaming forums. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4261050 Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicecitylover400 Posted May 28, 2007 Author Share Posted May 28, 2007 Soon Launched, The Official San Andreas Stories Website! Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4261073 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 Honestly, now. What are you on about? Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4261667 Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicecitylover400 Posted May 28, 2007 Author Share Posted May 28, 2007 Honestly, now. What are you on about? What do you mean? Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4262228 Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicecitylover400 Posted May 28, 2007 Author Share Posted May 28, 2007 (edited) Podcasts: Airplanes Podcast Multiplayer Podcast Whats New Podcast Why Big Smoke Podcast More Podcasts Will Be Listed, Also Look Out, You May See Some Hnts in The Podcasts! Edited May 29, 2007 by vicecitylover400 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4262255 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coral_City Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 (edited) Where are the moderators when ya need 'em? Edit: After listening to one podcast, I can see why things are the way they are...I suggest leaving this ambitious project for the future -- go ride a bike or something, while ya still can Edited May 29, 2007 by Coral_City Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/278585-san-andreas-stories/?do=findComment&comment=4263157 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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