The Mystical Experience

[Nick Papagiorgio]

I decided to post something different here in WD.

 

I am learning about Transcendentalism and other things in my Honors English II class.

I wanted to post this, to get some positive, helpful, and intelligent feedback.

 

“The Mystical Experience”

 

I went, out of the house,

Out of that suburban cage,

For just a moment,

Hearing the shouts inside,

Is this what civilization does?

I need to have some peace.

Off of the porch, I walk,

Towards the wood,

Veiled by society.

It calls to me,

Seeming to speak my name,

The mist draws me in.

I walk slowly towards a tree,

Encircled by mist,

I walk slowly towards it,

Colors rush through my head,

The moonlight illuminates the tree,

I stand in awe, unable to move,

I am at a loss,

It is ineffable,

I cannot explain it,

Yet I seem to understand all,

Knowledge I gained,

Unknowingly,

I see a light,

Bright, it is,

Blinds me, it does,

I am falling,

Just as I seem to understand it,

I lose it,

I cannot grasp it,

Back to reality,

Back to the mist, encircling the tree,

Back to my porch, I sit,

Back in my home,

I am enlightened.

 

Now, I am no poet. I am no Emerson, Thoreau, or Whitman.

I can already see it needs work, but criticism is appreciated. Thanks for reading.

Edited January 22, 2007 by Gman91

[Nick Papagiorgio]

Umm, yeah, some replies would be appreciated.

 

I want to know, so I can improve in my poetry skills. Seriously, feel free to rip this up, if you know you can give me criticism.

Edited January 22, 2007 by Gman91

[King_Vercetti]

Its perfect dude!

[beanmachine43]

Hate to shoot down your message King_Vercetti, but I hardly believe any poem or piece of writing can be perfect.

 

That aside, it was a solid piece of work. Transcendentalism, from what I understand, is something along the lines of a protest of the general state and culture. If I'm correct, then from what I can tell your work definitely portrays that. But I sort of had a hard time understanding what the overall point your were trying to make or idea you were attempting to get across, to put it in simple terms. Maybe you can elaborate on it a little more. Overall it's a great peice of writing, however.

[King_Vercetti]

Well, its part of my list of favorite poems. Its right next to Candarelli's poems.