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Crokey

Grumpy Old Forumers

Recommended Posts

Kaj.

1. People who don't wash their hands after using the facilities. You were just holding your cock, go wash your damn hands.

 

2. Flip-top toothpaste tubes. Colgate likes these for some reason. The people in my house simply cannot keep the flip-top from getting all gummed up with dried, nasty toothpaste.

 

3. Kids who use drugs as a crutch. 'The only thing I have in life that makes me happy is weed'. f*ck off, go outside, ride your bike, get a hobby, but don't waste my air being a douchebag.

 

 

Ah, that feels better.

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Bartleby
People who don't know how to use roundabouts. It's not that hard to understand you know!

 

And people who chew loudly. It is the most irritating sound. Sheesh.

I know. My friend just can't down any kind of liquid without making some gross sound. Recently he was drinking soda while I was on him computer. He's about 3-4 feet away and suddenly I hear:

 

SLUURP GULP SLUUUURP GULP

One reason why I simply cannot eat with my brother at the table. If I had my way, lip-smacking would be punishable by castration. Remove that habit from the gene pool, I say.

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Esoteric

I have to agree with you. I can't stand people chewing with thier mouth open and making that annoying smacking sound.

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Runestoner

Man, here's what's even worse...there was this guy I work with that groaned and moaned while eating. All of a sudden I hear "MMMMMMMMm gmm"

 

I look like "WTF"

 

And when people talk with their mouth full and you can't even tell what the hell they're saying.

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Esoteric

I'd rather have that than smacking and them chewing with their mouths full.

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Mafia Righthand_Man

Dumb Customers:

 

Case and point, this morning. It's early, I'm still kind of tired, and of course I get someone dumb as my first customer of the day. He comes up with a paper and bananas, then goes to get another paper. It's not unusual for people to buy more than one paper so I assumed he wanted both. I ring up both and the bananas and tell him the total. He tells me it's not right. He asks about the price for the bananas for which I tell him the correct price, then proceeds to ask for it 3 more times. I ask him multiple times to look at the POS monitor on his side to show him the total is correct for all the items he bought, to which he insisted on adding up the item totals himself on a sheet of paper. FINALLY, he looks at it and says "Oh I just wanted to switch these papers". Um...wtf? Wish you would have told me that when you brought ANOTHER paper up to the counter without telling me anything. Thanks for creating a line, GG nub.

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Runestoner
I'd rather have that than smacking and them chewing with their mouths full.

I think I would too...now that I think of it.

 

anyway, people call me a weirdo for this, but I usually eat by myself...then its guaranteed not to have someone smacking/groaning/showing their food in their mouth.

 

Another thing that's annoying is rude people on the road. I hate people that cut you off and then when they're in front of you, go at a turtle's pace...that really pisses me off.

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*MURDOC*

Why the hell is the drummer always the butt of the jokes?

 

Why damn it?

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Esoteric

Because it got old to make fun of the bassist.

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*MURDOC*

 

user posted image+user posted image

Edited by *MURDOC*

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asimov

 

1. People who don't wash their hands after using the facilities. You were just holding your cock, go wash your damn hands.

ugh i know, i always try and make eye contact with any persopn I see doing that, then fix them with a steely glare of disgust.

 

my hate - people who don't know how to merge in traffic.

 

god i hate it when you let someone in, and the person behind them take it as there oppurtunity to jump in front of you....c*nts

 

 

 

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Saggy

This f*cking topic

 

I'm always thinking of things that piss me off. Yet when this topic springs up, I can NEVER think of anything. f*ck this topic.

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Brutuz
Those kids that listen to that Rap crap, and dress like they are black, I mean its Ok for you to like Rap, but your not Black, so don't act and dress like one, and don't say you will cap my a*s, I'll just wanna see you try, Because I'd smash whoever even tries to do that sh*t to anyone I know, or me.

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darthYENIK
This f*cking topic

 

I'm always thinking of things that piss me off. Yet when this topic springs up, I can NEVER think of anything. f*ck this topic.

That's it man. I hate when that f*cking happens.

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Crokey
This f*cking topic

 

I'm always thinking of things that piss me off. Yet when this topic springs up, I can NEVER think of anything. f*ck this topic.

I hate it when folk like me bump topics like this so all the influx of GTAIV newbs can see what their fellow forumers are gumping about and they can add their gripes about everything as well... and to also see if Sag has anything to rant about yet tounge.gif

 

I also hate it when your walking along the street with bags of heavy shopping like cartons of milk, Water and Coke, and those f*ckwits with prams stroll out in front of you. Fe*king folk with buggies they should get a flipping license to drive those things, thing is the bleeps can see you coming but they just want to eff with you.

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Suction Testicle Man

Tailgaters. Those utter f*ckwits in their sh*tty hatchbacks with stupid 'spinnaz' that just have to overtake you on a blind corner because 55mph on a straight is just oh so slow (despite being 15mph over the goddamn limit).

 

1. Their taste in cars should mean their licences are revoked to begin with anyway.

2. I'm driving a giant f*cking blue and white hippie van with a buggered straight 4 engine, it's not like overtaking me is a challenge.

3. Sitting 1 metre behind my rear bumper (where I can't even see them through the back window) apparently helps my engine work more efficiently and I'll inevitably go faster. Makes me want to crash into a brick wall just so I can laugh at them when their car ends up in the back of my van.

4. When they do overtake, it's on a bloody corner, so should they hit anyone going round it, they'll smack straight into me too. They could at least wait for a straight!

 

I keep a hockey stick by the driver's seat at all times. Though I've been dangerously overtaken many times, nobody has yet crashed. When they do, I'll be stopping, and lodging various sports apparatus in the involved parties' skulls (if they're not already dead).

 

Edit: Also would like to add people that ring you up at various points in the day and just don't get that I haven't got f*cking time to speak to them (for whatever reason). They start jabbering away about some bollocks that holds no relevance, especially considering you're at work, or in the middle of a meal or meeting. Then they get all pissy because you snap and put it blunty "I don't have time to talk to you, kindly f*ck off as per my hints you're pretending to not pick up". Yeah, it was my mum in this case - she does this a lot.

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Otter

Craigslist. If it's not some f*cking nigerian trying to scam you into buying an XBOX360 for 150 dollars, it's assholes posting film jobs for "a free lunch!" or "a free dvd copy"

 

Big f*cking deal! The only reason I'd want to help on your piece of sh*t indie is a good paycheck. f*ck you and your rag tag band of douchebags. I don't care if you are entering the "festival circuit". Thousands of f*cking short films enter the "festival circuit," it doesn't make your little 24p any better than a home video of two f*cking otters holding hands. Jesus. If you're going to do something right, scrape together the funding and pay your f*cking crew a decent wage. Or do you have so little faith in your product? Great! Love to hop on board that sinking ship!

 

Losebags.

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Oddsock

When I go to the bathroom in a public place and there's no soap/towels. I think the "no towels" situation is worse because then I'm running around with my hands up like a Frenchman on the Maginot Line.

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Mister Zero

People who go "It's always in the last place you look!". Of course it is, I'm not going to find it and keep f*cking looking! mad.gif

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Kaj.

 

People who go "It's always in the last place you look!". Of course it is, I'm not going to find it and keep f*cking looking! mad.gif

I can't stand people who take silly little sarcastic comments like those waaaay too seriously. Settle down, it's not like they fistf*cked your dog.

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Mafia Righthand_Man

 

Tailgaters. Those utter f*ckwits in their sh*tty hatchbacks with stupid 'spinnaz' that just have to overtake you on a blind corner because 55mph on a straight is just oh so slow (despite being 15mph over the goddamn limit).

 

1. Their taste in cars should mean their licences are revoked to begin with anyway.

2. I'm driving a giant f*cking blue and white hippie van with a buggered straight 4 engine, it's not like overtaking me is a challenge.

3. Sitting 1 metre behind my rear bumper (where I can't even see them through the back window) apparently helps my engine work more efficiently and I'll inevitably go faster. Makes me want to crash into a brick wall just so I can laugh at them when their car ends up in the back of my van.

4. When they do overtake, it's on a bloody corner, so should they hit anyone going round it, they'll smack straight into me too. They could at least wait for a straight!

 

I keep a hockey stick by the driver's seat at all times. Though I've been dangerously overtaken many times, nobody has yet crashed. When they do, I'll be stopping, and lodging various sports apparatus in the involved parties' skulls (if they're not already dead).

 

Edit: Also would like to add people that ring you up at various points in the day and just don't get that I haven't got f*cking time to speak to them (for whatever reason). They start jabbering away about some bollocks that holds no relevance, especially considering you're at work, or in the middle of a meal or meeting. Then they get all pissy because you snap and put it blunty "I don't have time to talk to you, kindly f*ck off as per my hints you're pretending to not pick up". Yeah, it was my mum in this case - she does this a lot.

Well, you've got a large van right? BRAKE CHECK! Or put them into the wall. I hate tailgaters with all of my soul. I don't do it often, but if a tailgater sits behind me long enough, I will speed up along the next car for a bit and make the f*cker sit back.

 

Speeders piss me off sometimes, but not always. Most people that need to get somewhere don't tailgate and just pass me, which is fine. It doesn't bother me. But when they weave in between drivers at 20 or more above the limit, that's when I get mad. I was driving recently and saw this guy hauling ass and only 50 feet or so behind me. He weaves around one car and weaves around me, very close to the back right end of my car. Needless to say, he got an earful of car horn.

Edited by Mafia Righthand_Man

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Crokey

Websites that have midi music playing when you open them up or have some effing advert for usually useless stuff blaring as soon as the page loads, by useless I mean something like a cr*p horror movie, which is another thing I hate, bl**dy horror movies. I don't know about you but when I'm browsing around I like to listen to music then up pops one of these bleeding choons and ruins your song totally.

 

Also those [email protected] that post or send you videos that are really quiet because, guess what it's one of those videos where that screeming thing pops up... I hope they die, f*ckers.

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Oddsock
Websites that have midi music playing when you open them up or have some effing advert for usually useless stuff blaring as soon as the page loads, by useless I mean something like a cr*p horror movie, which is another thing I hate, bl**dy horror movies. I don't know about you but when I'm browsing around I like to listen to music then up pops one of these bleeding choons and ruins your song totally.

 

Also those [email protected] that post or send you videos that are really quiet because, guess what it's one of those videos where that screeming thing pops up... I hope they die, f*ckers.

In relation to this, I hate when I am watching movie previews in a big, dark movie theater and the jackass producers decide it's "scary" to make about 50 strobe light-esque flashes in their little preview to make it scary. One: It's not scary, it's annoying. 2: It gives me a f*cking headache. I want to watch a movie for fun, not so I have an excuse to take some tylenol.

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makeshyft
Tailgaters.

Oh hell yes. Nothing makes me scream obscenities into the rear-view more. Providing I am alone in the car there have been times I have touched the brakes and scared the sh*t out of them, usually a ditzy girl with a fresh license who is more concerned about her lipstick than not dying in a fiery automobile accident.

 

... women.

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Saggy
Tailgaters. Those utter f*ckwits in their sh*tty hatchbacks with stupid 'spinnaz' that just have to overtake you on a blind corner because 55mph on a straight is just oh so slow (despite being 15mph over the goddamn limit).

 

1. Their taste in cars should mean their licences are revoked to begin with anyway.

2. I'm driving a giant f*cking blue and white hippie van with a buggered straight 4 engine, it's not like overtaking me is a challenge.

3. Sitting 1 metre behind my rear bumper (where I can't even see them through the back window) apparently helps my engine work more efficiently and I'll inevitably go faster. Makes me want to crash into a brick wall just so I can laugh at them when their car ends up in the back of my van.

4. When they do overtake, it's on a bloody corner, so should they hit anyone going round it, they'll smack straight into me too. They could at least wait for a straight!

 

I keep a hockey stick by the driver's seat at all times. Though I've been dangerously overtaken many times, nobody has yet crashed. When they do, I'll be stopping, and lodging various sports apparatus in the involved parties' skulls (if they're not already dead).

 

Edit: Also would like to add people that ring you up at various points in the day and just don't get that I haven't got f*cking time to speak to them (for whatever reason). They start jabbering away about some bollocks that holds no relevance, especially considering you're at work, or in the middle of a meal or meeting. Then they get all pissy because you snap and put it blunty "I don't have time to talk to you, kindly f*ck off as per my hints you're pretending to not pick up". Yeah, it was my mum in this case - she does this a lot.

Well, you've got a large van right? BRAKE CHECK! Or put them into the wall. I hate tailgaters with all of my soul. I don't do it often, but if a tailgater sits behind me long enough, I will speed up along the next car for a bit and make the f*cker sit back.

 

Speeders piss me off sometimes, but not always. Most people that need to get somewhere don't tailgate and just pass me, which is fine. It doesn't bother me. But when they weave in between drivers at 20 or more above the limit, that's when I get mad. I was driving recently and saw this guy hauling ass and only 50 feet or so behind me. He weaves around one car and weaves around me, very close to the back right end of my car. Needless to say, he got an earful of car horn.

If there's anything more annoying that being in front of a tailgater, it's driving with a tailgater. I remember being on one stretch of road during rush hour, and it's sort of notorious for the drivers in the left lane to turn left suddenly and create quite the reaction-timing tester.

 

Well, my sister was driving and she was following this guy pretty god damn closely. I kept telling her that she needed to watch her speed and make some distances, but she wouldn't listen to me. Finally at a light I literally told her that I would need to get out if she didn't start driving a little bit wiser, so she waited a few moments to take off after the car in front of us took off. So at this point we had about 4 seconds distance between us and the car in front of us traveling at 35 MPH. She starts to tell me how ridiculous I am for thinking she needs to go that slowly, when out of no where the car in front of us stops more suddenly than I'd ever imagined, and we missed their bumper by mere inches. The asshole in front of us who was tail-gating the person in front of them was firmly embedded of the trunk of a Dodge Caravan.

 

The sh*tty part is that she still tailgates.

 

 

As much as I hate tail-graters, I make their time on the road an utter hell whenever possible. Usually only in rare circumstances will I do it (like if the person is just being a totally inconsiderate tw*t) I will simply box them into the next lane with another car traveling the same speed. It's pretty vindictive but some of these people f*cking deserve it. Like some bitch going 55 in an SUV on ice-covered roads with a car-load of kids. I simply pull up to the car in the next lane that's going a reasonable 30 just to ensure the kid's stupid f*cking parent doesn't wind up killing them. I like to think I make a difference.

 

Brake-checking is fun as hell in my car. There's about 4" of threshold where I'm putting on my brakes and when they actually brake. This means I can keep going the right speed, tap it just oh so lightly, and make people behind me THINK I've just slammed on my brakes while I keep going. I never do it in heavy traffic considering it would cause an accident by how much people stop, but it's always fun to see people's cell phones fly out of their hands or something.

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Bartleby

When some people generalize an entire group based on one thing they hear through the media. It's bad enough when you get some kid who's listened to too much Green Day and thinks that Bush is to blame for every conceivable inconvenience in the world, but when you get someone who hates "America" (in my experience on the wonderful Internet, it's been mostly Brits) because apparently we're all misled sheep who laugh at dumb jokes and stuff our faces with McDonald's everyday and wonder why the entire world can't be more like us. I run into a lot of these people that say this stuff on online gaming and internet forums, and it pisses me off that they think it's justifiable to spew unfounded hatred on me just because I happen to be from the United States. Not everything from the US sucks, and the 300 million people that are constantly being fit to a stereotype by these folks deserve a little more credit than that.

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Lynk

I hate people who put my email address down as an invite for sites lke Bebo and f*cking Facebook.

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Hayden Stasven

I hate it when people say the world is black and life sucks before you die. I also get annoyed by people who say to always smile and be happy and sing like no one's listening.

 

I guess you just can't please me. tounge.gif

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Crokey
I hate it when people say the world is black...

C'Mon Dawg... you fight the power brother, church

 

People who think your evil for driving around in so called gas-guzzlers, when they haven't looked up the facts first.

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Andyzoot

People who use mobile phones while driving. It's absolutely dangerous. What's wrong with pulling over in a service lane or onto a quiet street to make a phone call. It's even worse when you see someone in a huge lorry using a phone.

 

Also with phones, old people and phones. Why do they always shout on their phones?

 

"HELLO MARGARET? CAN YOU ERE ME ALRIGHT?!"

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