Quantcast
Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
    1. Welcome to GTAForums!   (92,727 visits to this link)

    2. News

    1. GTA Online

      1. Find Lobbies & Players
      2. Guides & Strategies
      3. Vehicles
      4. Content Creator
      5. Help & Support
    2. Crews

      1. Events
      2. Recruitment
    1. Grand Theft Auto Series

    2. GTA Next

    3. GTA V

      1. PC
      2. Guides & Strategies
      3. Help & Support
    4. GTA IV

      1. Episodes from Liberty City
      2. Multiplayer
      3. Guides & Strategies
      4. Help & Support
      5. GTA Mods
    5. GTA Chinatown Wars

    6. GTA Vice City Stories

    7. GTA Liberty City Stories

    8. GTA San Andreas

      1. Guides & Strategies
      2. Help & Support
      3. GTA Mods
    9. GTA Vice City

      1. Guides & Strategies
      2. Help & Support
      3. GTA Mods
    10. GTA III

      1. Guides & Strategies
      2. Help & Support
      3. GTA Mods
    11. Top Down Games

      1. GTA Advance
      2. GTA 2
      3. GTA
    12. Wiki

      1. Merchandising
    1. GTA Modding

      1. GTA V
      2. GTA IV
      3. GTA III, VC & SA
      4. Tutorials
    2. Mod Showroom

      1. Scripts & Plugins
      2. Maps
      3. Total Conversions
      4. Vehicles
      5. Textures
      6. Characters
      7. Tools
      8. Other
      9. Workshop
    3. Featured Mods

      1. DYOM
      2. OpenIV
      3. GTA: Underground
      4. GTA: Liberty City
      5. GTA: State of Liberty
    1. Red Dead Redemption 2

    2. Red Dead Redemption

    3. Rockstar Games

    1. Off-Topic

      1. General Chat
      2. Gaming
      3. Technology
      4. Programming
      5. Movies & TV
      6. Music
      7. Sports
      8. Vehicles
    2. Expression

      1. Graphics / Visual Arts
      2. GFX Requests & Tutorials
      3. Writers' Discussion
      4. Debates & Discussion
    1. Forum Support

    2. Site Suggestions

Crokey

Grumpy Old Forumers

Recommended Posts

universetwisters

I found a f*cking live cockroach crawling around my toilet when I went to take a piss. Good lord.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tacymist

I almost fell into a swamp today trying to get to a good fishing spot. And all I caught was some little punk fish and a few minnows, which admittedly were fun to catch because you can just fling em out of the water when they take a nip at your bait.


In case anyone's worried about the fish that were flung, they're all ok and were safely returned back to the water to swim with their fish friends.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Flachbau

So I'm watching Wild n Out on MTV, and this annoying ass commercial comes on with Ariana Grande. She's promoting her new album.

 

I find it sad how her 15 minutes of fame ran out, and then she collaborated with the worst artists in history on one song to regain popularity. Oh, Ariana.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SolidSnails

So I'm watching Wild n Out on MTV, and this annoying ass commercial comes on with Ariana Grande. She's promoting her new album.

 

I find it sad how her 15 minutes of fame ran out, and then she collaborated with the worst artists in history on one song to regain popularity. Oh, Ariana.

at least she's hot.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GunWrath

I remember when you licked the ground she walked on. :p

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Flūttershy

f*ck, I just got the worst hangnail.

 

WARNING: mass hangnailage ahead

 

IMG_20140818_141119.jpg

 

 

I warned ya...

 

Edited by Flūttershy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cebra

So I'm watching Wild n Out on MTV, and this annoying ass commercial comes on with Ariana Grande. She's promoting her new album.

 

I find it sad how her 15 minutes of fame ran out, and then she collaborated with the worst artists in history on one song to regain popularity. Oh, Ariana.

She's doing the same thing with Big Brother on CBS. Her brother is on the show, and he constantly mentions her every single day. It's very annoying.

 

EDIT: Guess who's on the radio? I'm getting fed up.

Edited by PhilosophicalZebra

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
gtamann123

I went to golden corral. Big mistake. Now I feel like I'm going to burst.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The Harwood Bitcher

They set me up a blind date

The broad is doable but really stiffy and boring

All the time during the date she looks her cell and yawns

I triy to tak with her and take a interest in her

She settles on being a tedious c*nt

Things are weird and is full of umcomfortable silences

I go to the bathroom to take a piss and i go back out again and...

She's f*cking gone

The dude sitting beside tells me she runs the exact moment i close the bathroom door

Thank god we didnt get to order nothing!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
gtamann123

Just found out my former state is one of the few that don't give refunds for vehicle registration when you move out of state. The vehicle was registered in April and I moved in June so it's basically $400 down the drain. f*ck those pathetic f*cks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GunWrath

They set me up a blind date

The broad is doable but really stiffy and boring

All the time during the date she looks her cell and yawns

I triy to tak with her and take a interest in her

She settles on being a tedious c*nt

Things are weird and is full of umcomfortable silences

I go to the bathroom to take a piss and i go back out again and...

She's f*cking gone

The dude sitting beside tells me she runs the exact moment i close the bathroom door

Thank god we didnt get to order nothing!

Lol.

 

Who set up the date?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Gnocchi Flip Flops

So I set my notifications options to notify me when somebody quotes one of my posts and at first it worked fine. But now it's leading me to the post the person supposedly quoted, yet that person's reply towards me is nowhere to be found.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
lil weasel

So I set my notifications options to notify me when somebody quotes one of my posts and at first it worked fine. But now it's leading me to the post the person supposedly quoted, yet that person's reply towards me is nowhere to be found.

If you mean the "notifications" at the top right of the page. It has two links. If you click QUOTED, you get the quoted reply. If you click the POSTED word you get your own post.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Moth

So I set my notifications options to notify me when somebody quotes one of my posts and at first it worked fine. But now it's leading me to the post the person supposedly quoted, yet that person's reply towards me is nowhere to be found.

I guess it's do to them quoting you, but then deleting the quote.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SolidSnails

They set me up a blind date

The broad is doable but really stiffy and boring

All the time during the date she looks her cell and yawns

I triy to tak with her and take a interest in her

She settles on being a tedious c*nt

Things are weird and is full of umcomfortable silences

I go to the bathroom to take a piss and i go back out again and...

She's f*cking gone

The dude sitting beside tells me she runs the exact moment i close the bathroom door

Thank god we didnt get to order nothing!

probably because you look like you're stuck in the late 70's Edited by SolidSnails

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shaundi.

Clive Palmer... what the f*ck are you doing.

 

He's gonna cause Australia to go to war with China. Do not want.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
gtamann123

Clive Palmer... what the f*ck are you doing.

 

He's gonna cause Australia to go to war with China. Do not want.

That would be hilarious to watch. The Aussies and the Chinese going at it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shaundi.

^^ & the US would be neutral because because both are allies lol.

 

 

Edited by ZeusMowat_278

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The Harwood Bitcher

 

 

They set me up a blind date

The broad is doable but really stiffy and boring

All the time during the date she looks her cell and yawns

I triy to tak with her and take a interest in her

She settles on being a tedious c*nt

Things are weird and is full of umcomfortable silences

I go to the bathroom to take a piss and i go back out again and...

She's f*cking gone

The dude sitting beside tells me she runs the exact moment i close the bathroom door

Thank god we didnt get to order nothing!

Lol.

 

Who set up the date?

A girl who clearly has the hard on me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ziggy455

It was a warm night, one that seemed to reek of the boredom that filled out of my pores. It was in these dire moments, being of unsound mind and body, that maybe checking out a dating site might help alleviate the ashtray that had become my heart following what was to be considered one of the most painful breakups I've ever endured as a person.

 

I will not divulge too much on information surrounding the events of the journey into the website. I will use fake names.

 

So I logged onto Plenty of People, wink wink. The rain outside continued to pour as I clicked onto the SEARCH button, threw in some information, and began flicking through the first pages. The first girl I spotted had the cheesy, and of course, not completely unoriginal headline of: ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE ND WAR.

 

I missed the A in and on purpose. So I click onto the picture. She's cute, 23, mixed-race with a curly afro, gorgeous brown eyes. I slip further down the page, and check out the About Me:

 

"Hey there. My name is [Fatty Roman's Cousin] and I like travelling, eating in, watching movies, I love books and I'm looking for mr right so please dont ask me for a 'hookup' and also, if you're under 26 please dont bother. I want a man not a boy."

 

Okay, so that's a big no-no.

 

The journey continues.

 

I click through more pictures. Eventually I find another girl, cute glasses, bright smile. Mixed-race, articulate. We scroll down to the About Me:

 

"I'm [Fakin Yokel]. I'm 23. Love travelling, festivals. I'm a bit too chatty and I LOVE nights in, cuddling with a cheesy movie. I'm loud boisterous but also believe in a hard worker. Car and license is a must because I'll just end up questioning what you do for a living if you're that basic. I'm not cheap ;) Looking out there for my Mr Grey."

 

I feel the hatred rise as I grit my teeth, but the raging beast in the pits of my stomach resign to a quiet fate for now.

 

LET'S KEEP GOING.

 

Okay, this one's good. 22, cute, white, posh, articulate but she's got a little bit of a dark sense of humor. Her headline is 9/11 Americans won't get this. Sign me up! She's very cute with blue eyes and a blinding white teeth that seem to glisten like shells sprayed by waves.

 

The About Me:

 

Message me. ;)

 

I cracked my fingers! What the hey, can't lose much more. My dignity and respect packed up and left f*cking years ago!

 

"Hi. :) I laughed my ass off at your headline. :P" Start off small. They don't like big paragraphs. It frightens them like gazelles. One word over, they hear it like a twig snap and dart off.

 

I wait a while. Boop! One new message:

 

"Thanks :3"

 

Well, f*ck me, you leave much room--I wonder if I reply again, will it go as smoothly? I try.

 

"So tell me about yourself?"

 

Hours pass. I move on with my life. Rainy clouds fly by. I return later. Boop. New message! I click it open.

 

"Leave me alone you weirdo."

rage.gif

 

 

Now I am a fair man. What, in any conceivable way, did I come off as WEIRD!?

 

Seriously. Girls on dating sites are more stuck up than real girls. You show a genuine interest, they ignore you. You don't have the qualifications, you're out. It's like applying for a f*cking job. Oh, you don't have a car? Boop! Sorry, nothing there for you. I'm incapable of feeling emotion towards a man who can't pick me up in his Ford Escort or Honda Accord. Oh sh*t, by the way, I'm a princess, treat me as such. Yeah, that's why you're a princess. That's why you're on a dating site like this, because nobody in your immediate vicinity can deal with how much of a self-indulgent c*nt you are.

 

/RANT.

Edited by Ziggy455

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m

RUMqaqv.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GunWrath

hot

hot

hot

hot

hot

Yyyuuuppppp. I'm right there with ya dude.

 

51cf35b10bb2d36365e0eba2e5a2480f.png

 

 

It rained earlier today, so it's decently cooler than the previous days and it feels glorious. I even sat on the porch just now for about an hour and letting the pit walk around and piss on everything. Though I can only imagine the humidity is going to suck the ass of Thor tomorrow.

Edited by GunWrath

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The Harwood Bitcher

It was a warm night, one that seemed to reek of the boredom that filled out of my pores. It was in these dire moments, being of unsound mind and body, that maybe checking out a dating site might help alleviate the ashtray that had become my heart following what was to be considered one of the most painful breakups I've ever endured as a person.

 

I will not divulge too much on information surrounding the events of the journey into the website. I will use fake names.

 

So I logged onto Plenty of People, wink wink. The rain outside continued to pour as I clicked onto the SEARCH button, threw in some information, and began flicking through the first pages. The first girl I spotted had the cheesy, and of course, not completely unoriginal headline of: ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE ND WAR.

 

I missed the A in and on purpose. So I click onto the picture. She's cute, 23, mixed-race with a curly afro, gorgeous brown eyes. I slip further down the page, and check out the About Me:

 

"Hey there. My name is [Fatty Roman's Cousin] and I like travelling, eating in, watching movies, I love books and I'm looking for mr right so please dont ask me for a 'hookup' and also, if you're under 26 please dont bother. I want a man not a boy."

 

Okay, so that's a big no-no.

 

The journey continues.

 

I click through more pictures. Eventually I find another girl, cute glasses, bright smile. Mixed-race, articulate. We scroll down to the About Me:

 

"I'm [Fakin Yokel]. I'm 23. Love travelling, festivals. I'm a bit too chatty and I LOVE nights in, cuddling with a cheesy movie. I'm loud boisterous but also believe in a hard worker. Car and license is a must because I'll just end up questioning what you do for a living if you're that basic. I'm not cheap ;) Looking out there for my Mr Grey."

 

I feel the hatred rise as I grit my teeth, but the raging beast in the pits of my stomach resign to a quiet fate for now.

 

LET'S KEEP GOING.

 

Okay, this one's good. 22, cute, white, posh, articulate but she's got a little bit of a dark sense of humor. Her headline is 9/11 Americans won't get this. Sign me up! She's very cute with blue eyes and a blinding white teeth that seem to glisten like shells sprayed by waves.

 

The About Me:

 

Message me. ;)

 

I cracked my fingers! What the hey, can't lose much more. My dignity and respect packed up and left f*cking years ago!

 

"Hi. :) I laughed my ass off at your headline. :P" Start off small. They don't like big paragraphs. It frightens them like gazelles. One word over, they hear it like a twig snap and dart off.

 

I wait a while. Boop! One new message:

 

"Thanks :3"

 

Well, f*ck me, you leave much room--I wonder if I reply again, will it go as smoothly? I try.

 

"So tell me about yourself?"

 

Hours pass. I move on with my life. Rainy clouds fly by. I return later. Boop. New message! I click it open.

 

"Leave me alone you weirdo."

rage.gif

 

 

Now I am a fair man. What, in any conceivable way, did I come off as WEIRD!?

 

Seriously. Girls on dating sites are more stuck up than real girls. You show a genuine interest, they ignore you. You don't have the qualifications, you're out. It's like applying for a f*cking job. Oh, you don't have a car? Boop! Sorry, nothing there for you. I'm incapable of feeling emotion towards a man who can't pick me up in his Ford Escort or Honda Accord. Oh sh*t, by the way, I'm a princess, treat me as such. Yeah, that's why you're a princess. That's why you're on a dating site like this, because nobody in your immediate vicinity can deal with how much of a self-indulgent c*nt you are.

 

/RANT.

Its worst face to face

Also that broad was c*ntplicated

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Flachbau

9fc96f3b3d6d22de43e1d29c3ee0ad19.png

 

Eh.. not bad, really. I think we've only had two 90°F days here, surprised there weren't more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
gtamann123

Children Please

 

Screenshot_2014-08-19-17-50-16_zpsxbi4z9

 

It's actually not that hot. It's usually hotter than this

Edited by gtamann123

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Flachbau

Holy crap.. I could never live in a place where temps get that high.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ardentem

I'm at the store buying clothes when I see these flip-flops. Not just any flip-flops, f*ckING CAMOUFLAGE FLIP-FLOPS. WHAT, ARE YOU LITTLE MARINE-WANNABE PUSSIES GONNA PRETEND THAT YOU'RE A SOLDIER ON A f*ckING BEACH IN FLORIDA ON A SUNNY DAY SIPPING A f*ckING DIET COKE? NO, YOU LITTLE BITCH, WOODLAND WILL NOT BLEND IN TO ANYTHING ON A TAN COLORED BEACH. HUMANITY IS DOOMED THANKS TO THESE f*ckING IDIOTS.

 

/endRant

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Payne Killer

I'm at the store buying clothes when I see these flip-flops. Not just any flip-flops, f*ckING CAMOUFLAGE FLIP-FLOPS. WHAT, ARE YOU LITTLE MARINE-WANNABE PUSSIES GONNA PRETEND THAT YOU'RE A SOLDIER ON A f*ckING BEACH IN FLORIDA ON A SUNNY DAY SIPPING A f*ckING DIET COKE? NO, YOU LITTLE BITCH, WOODLAND WILL NOT BLEND IN TO ANYTHING ON A TAN COLORED BEACH. HUMANITY IS DOOMED THANKS TO THESE f*ckING IDIOTS.

 

/endRant

Lol, you think that's bad what about camo skinny jeans.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Flachbau

I'm at the store buying clothes when I see these flip-flops. Not just any flip-flops, f*ckING CAMOUFLAGE FLIP-FLOPS. WHAT, ARE YOU LITTLE MARINE-WANNABE PUSSIES GONNA PRETEND THAT YOU'RE A SOLDIER ON A f*ckING BEACH IN FLORIDA ON A SUNNY DAY SIPPING A f*ckING DIET COKE? NO, YOU LITTLE BITCH, WOODLAND WILL NOT BLEND IN TO ANYTHING ON A TAN COLORED BEACH. HUMANITY IS DOOMED THANKS TO THESE f*ckING IDIOTS.

 

/endRant

 

Lol, you have serious issues.

 

Calm yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ardentem

 

 

I'm at the store buying clothes when I see these flip-flops. Not just any flip-flops, f*ckING CAMOUFLAGE FLIP-FLOPS. WHAT, ARE YOU LITTLE MARINE-WANNABE PUSSIES GONNA PRETEND THAT YOU'RE A SOLDIER ON A f*ckING BEACH IN FLORIDA ON A SUNNY DAY SIPPING A f*ckING DIET COKE? NO, YOU LITTLE BITCH, WOODLAND WILL NOT BLEND IN TO ANYTHING ON A TAN COLORED BEACH. HUMANITY IS DOOMED THANKS TO THESE f*ckING IDIOTS.

 

/endRant

Lol, you have serious issues.

 

Calm yourself.

Obvious joke is not obvious.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×

Important Information

By using GTAForums.com, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.