Groovy Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Watch it here I am so excited for this movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andyzoot Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 This trailer only reinstates the fact that this film will kick complete and utter ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kung_fu_fighting Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 holy sh*t the movie will kick ass! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papanesta Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Oh my god, I cannot wait! I had no idea Willis is in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goodfella. Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 This film is gonna rock the balls off of everyone who sees it. Although it'll be awesome I'm sure, I don't really care for Death Proof, just can't f*cking wait for Planet Terror. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrLorenzo Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Goddamn. Just re-watched the teaser two nights ago. Nice to know who's doing what, and Rose McGowan with 1 leg is still f*cking sexy. Although a bit disappointed to not see Tom Savini in this trailer, like he may not have too prominent a role . Either way, JESUS f*ckING CHRIST. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TenaciousD. Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Wow. Looks amazing. Shame its odviously going to be an 18. Curse my 14 year old body! But that looks great, gonna rewatch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Slow Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Are you serious? Awesome. It's like ash, but with a machine gun, and a taint. I f*cking hope my theatre will carry this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topdogkiller Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 everytime i watch the trailer i get so tense. sh*t i've got to see this movie. I've been waiting forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeyLeone25 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Tarantino's new movie Grindhouse has pushed the film censors a little too far. According to the New York Post, it's so extreme that in its present uncut state it won't get into mainstream US cinemas. "Why?" you ask... "In one scene, a cute, topless girl is roughly tied down on a table by evil female Nazi experimenters who begin draining her blood and, as she screams in agony, they brand her like livestock with a coal-hot steel swastika. And every girl in the Nazi concentration camp is topless. "There's a part where Jordan Ladd is in a car with her boyfriend and giving him [oral sex] when she lovingly reaches to stroke his hair and discovers his neck is just a bloody stump - some maniac had just cut off his head while she was in the act. "Later, a frisky cheerleader climbs onto a trampoline and begins stripping naked as she jumps up and down until she does a split and her skirt blows up without panties underneath. You get the full 'Britney Spears-getting-out-of-the-limo view.'" This. Sounds. Awesome. Two weeks for the US. Three months for the UK. Here's the most recent trailer; Anomalous Material.com <--> AMF Multiplayer Topic Join Quidco and get Cashback for buying things online! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottae Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 I hope I'll pass for 18. I'll only be a month too young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Escape? Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 if there was ever proof God exists, this is it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otter Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 if there was ever proof God exists, this is it. Don't worry, Enny, I'll take you to go see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bartleby Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Enny, be careful! TINSTAAFL, Enny, TINSTAAFL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarface187 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Holy sh*t. This trailer just made me interested in this movie 10 times more than I already was, plus it looks like Robert Rodriguez's movie will own the pants off Tarantino's. Zombie movies ftw. Just holy sh*t. I'm making sure I get off work for this movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Escape? Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 if there was ever proof God exists, this is it. Don't worry, Enny, I'll take you to go see it. Whore. I can get in all my byself. I look eighteen. Except for the five foot three inches thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otter Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 if there was ever proof God exists, this is it. Don't worry, Enny, I'll take you to go see it. Whore. I can get in all my byself. I look eighteen. Except for the five foot three inches thing. And the sweet young songbird voice of a castrato. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarface187 Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 I just noticed this topic was originally posted in December, whoops. Either way, this will be the best movie of the year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tetsuo2501 Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 please dear movie lord, rate this NC-17 so I can watch this without little sh*t heads in the theatres. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papanesta Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 So glad it'll be an 18 over here. No chance of little f*ckers in the cinema. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Escape? Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 During the little intermission in between the features, where they screen the fake previews for non-existent horror films, my dad (or rather, his voice) appears to introduce "Werewolf Women Of The S.S." That is so boss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RearEndCollision Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 please dear movie lord, rate this NC-17 so I can watch this without little sh*t heads in the theatres. Agreed. I cannot wait for April 6th. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otter Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 During the little intermission in between the features, where they screen the fake previews for non-existent horror films, my dad (or rather, his voice) appears to introduce "Werewolf Women Of The S.S." That is so boss. Yer dad's a voice actor? Awesome! What are his rates? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TenaciousD. Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 During the little intermission in between the features, where they screen the fake previews for non-existent horror films, my dad (or rather, his voice) appears to introduce "Werewolf Women Of The S.S." That is so boss. I know that Edgar Write (director of Hot Fuzz) is doing one of the adverts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papanesta Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 As is Eli Roth, obviously. As, no doubt, will Alexandre Aja. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groovy Posted March 28, 2007 Author Share Posted March 28, 2007 (edited) As, no doubt, will Alexandre Aja. I heard the only ones doing trailers were Roth, Wright, RR, and Zombie. Though, I could be wrong. Greatest review ever Remember, when George W. Bush was elected, and he said that thing about how, by 2008, we’d have “movies that would explode in our balls like a shotgun filled with handjobs”? Well, that promise came true two days ago when I saw GRINDHOUSE in Hollywood. Except not only was it a shotgun full of handjobs exploding in my balls, but also my balls suddenly knew how to make fire using karate. All from seeing GRINDHOUSE, a movie that’s made of screaming car crash zombie boobs. It isn’t even a movie – it’s TWO movies with some trailers and stuff at the beginning, and also between the movies. The directors – more about them in a second (there’s TWO!) – wanted to recreate the way movies were back in the 1920’s, when you could sell a script that was one page that just said, “TITS THEN A MONSTER THEN MORE TITS THEN AN EXPLOSION THEN BONUS TITS” and everyone knew what you were talking about. Also, there’s zombies getting killed by a helicopter, which is not only cool to look at, but shows how the movie-makers did some research, to make things realistic. First off, the movie lets you know you’re going to get your poop kicked out of you, formed into a set of brass knuckles, and now here comes a poop-punch. Because they show a trailer for a movie I need to see RIGHT NOW with my eyes (I already saw it in my head when I was driving last week and Van Halen’s “Panama” came on the radio and I’d just started eating a Payday). It’s called MACHETE, and it’s got that Mexican guy who’s always in movies where there’s people who really need knives stuck into them, and he’s always, “Here, let’s get those knives in you”. Danny something. Whatever his last name is, he should change it to, “f*ck-a-dilly” because everyone says that automatic when they see him, because he’s going to bring the f*ck-a-dilly to the movie, which will probably involve a foot, a face, and foot-face-f*ckup. Also, Cheech from Cheech and The Chong is in the trailer, and he’s a priest and he’s shooting people, which is ironic, I think. Then the first movie starts. It’s called PLANET OF TERROR, and it’s about a planet (which looks a lot like Earth) that’s made of pure terror. Here’s how sh*t-scream terrorizing it is: there’s these mutated kill-monsters, but even BEFORE they show up there’s all this f*cking terror. Like a doctor who wants to kill his doctor wife, and the doctor wife is always sticking these three needles into people which f*cks them up, and there’s a sheriff who’s played by that Reese guy from TERMINATOR robot. The sheriff looks like he’s always going to kill someone by crushing a bunch of walnuts in his mouth and spitting the shells through their skull. So, there’s a lot of sh*t like that, plus Fergie’s cleave, some bar-b-q, bad parenting, Bruce Willis turning into a monster, and Rose McGowan with a machine gun for a leg. I’ve never seen a woman I wanted so bad to rub one out to, but also kind of killed my boner in a way that gave me a bigger boner. Oh yeah, she almost-nude dances for the first three minutes of the movie and even though she doesn’t get totally naked I need to go buy three extra PAUSE buttons for my remote by the time the DVD comes out. !!!WARNING, MAJOR SPOILER!!! Rose McGowan will make you cluster-spooge in your pants. !!!END SPOILER!!! PLANET OF TERROR is directed by Robert Rodriquez, which is all I need to say. In fact, instead of his name on poster saying, “Directed By”, he can legally change his name to a picture of a naked Viking woman on a snowmobile with flamethrowers out the back and the flamethrowers are killing a Yeti. That’s the level of guaranteed quality his name brings to stuff. Then there’s three other trailers – one by Rob Zombie that involves Nazis and werewolves (more factual research), one by Edgar Wright that made me laugh harder than seeing an old man give the finger to a fat kid, and then one by Eli Roth that Eli Roth should make. Actually, the fake trailers are kind of a bummer, because I really wish they weren’t fake. Maybe the government will put some “don’t be a pussy” drug in the water supply, and everyone will go see this instead of PILLOW FIGHT AND SCENTED CANDLES AND BOREDOM, or whatever Sandra Bullock movie’s coming out, and they’ll make more of these. Then the second movie started. It’s called DEATH PROOF. You know what it isn’t-PROOF? Boner-inducing proof. This one was directed by Quentin Tarantino, who’s been an actor in stuff like RESERVOIR DOGS and PULP FICTION (he’s also in PLANET OF TERROR and DEATH PROOF). This is his first directing job and the dude KICKS ALL SPECTRUM OF ASS. He kicks ass that isn’t even in the ass area. Like, his director skills are so stripper-with-chainsaw good they make you grow asses on other parts of your body that he then kicks. I hope he directs more movies. I would see them, burn down the theater, and then call the fire department so I could tell all the fireman about what a kick-ass movie it was. When they started to attack me with axes, I’d fly away because Quentin’s movie would have given me ninja flight. DEATH PROOF is about this dude, Driver Mike, and he’s played by Kurt Plissken, and goddamn but that dude just gets more bad-ass as he gets older. You know how Sly Stallone kind of looks like Bea Arthur now, and Jean-Claude Van Damme looks like Ally Sheedy? Well, Kurt Plissken looks like a dumpster full of drop kicks. He could f*ck a bulldozer into eight Mini Coopers. f*ck, I should pitch that to someone. Anyway, he’s this crazy dude who gets off by killing four girls at a time in cars. Like, he’s got this car, this death proof stunt car, and he kills women by either 1. Giving them a ride in the car, and bashing them around in this special seat so they feel like they’ve watched the PINK PANTHER remake twelve times or 2. Going all Mad Max meets Humungous head-on dead-on kill-crazy. !!!WARNING, MAJOR SPOILER!!! The title, DEATH PROOF, refers to Kurt’s car being “death proof”. !!!END SPOILERS!!! We get to see Kurt f*cking up these four hotties with a car crash, but then – and this is where, if you’re with your girlfriend, she’ll realize how sensitive you are – he f*cks with the wrong women, and let’s just say the audience I saw it with almost gave the ending a standing ovation. But their boners would have knocked over popcorn and sodas, so they just happy- screamed instead. First 300 and now this? I think the summer of 2007 just went, “Hey, let me take you to a free taquito buffet” and you eat all these taquitos and then the summer goes, “Here comes a foot to your stomach”, but you go, “It’s full of taquitos” but it’s too late – there’s a boot in your stomach only the boot is really a motorcycle and you puke up a bikini girl who blows you and then kills your boss with a hammer. That’s what GRINDHOUSE is. It’s a taquito buffet that you puke up after getting hit with a motorcycle, and it turns into a bikini chick that blows you and kills your boss with a hammer. Rodriguez and Tarantino probably don’t read this site, but someone should tell them they can use that last paragraph as a quick blurb. Edited March 28, 2007 by Groovy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papanesta Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 As, no doubt, will Alexandre Aja. I heard the only ones doing trailers were Roth, Wright, RR, and Zombie. Though, I could be wrong. Nah, you're right. I was just speculating. And yeah, pretty funny review. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groovy Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 Eli Roth's Thanksgiving faux trailer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarface187 Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Eli Roth's Thanksgiving faux trailer Oh. My. f*cking. God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groovy Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 Eli Roth's Thanksgiving faux trailer Oh. My. f*cking. God. Yeah, I needed to change my boxers too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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