poem, you f*ckers

[Canofceleri]

her breasts were huge and swollen

her nipples pink and horny

a pin-up climbing the pool ladder to freedom

she explained to us then

in the most feminine german:

the men i worked with were kind

they smiled and offered me cigarettes

i've never been fired

so when they popped a drug test and i did

i was furious at those old hounds

those cigarettes tasted awfully funny

but how they did relax me

on those dog days of summer

 

"fischen is for boy

kochen is for woman!"

and he screamed from his pulpit

the bible in german

with his signs

with his pointing at the pews

with his unacknowledged fury

and impotence

 

"fischen is for boy!

kochen! for woman!"

the cerbral palsy girl

was the Executioner's example

of "kochen"

he held the sign against her twisted red body,

how sad, she's fashioned her friend doll

in a similar palsy-manner

 

"fischen is for boy!

recht minderwertig is girl!"

the german bible suddenly becomes

a lot more violent

there's blood even

 

outside the pin-up girl

with the huge and swollen breasts

with the nipples pink and horny

is free

she can't seem to shake stupid

retreating into the german cathedral

looking for a german rapist

to understand her german language

through reading of her huge and swollen breasts

pink and horny nipples

and english subtitles

[Greene]

I can safely say WTF!!!

[Canofceleri]

I can safely say WTF!!!

did you like the bit about the titties?

[Iminicus]

Love it Candarelli. You poems are always out there and great to read. Keep it up and post more.

[Nemesi]

good poem

[-/TNT\-]

Nice, funny poem Candarelli.

[GSF_Membuh]

That was hella funny!

[Rashon.]

LMFAO. Surprisingly good poem.

[Canofceleri]

Here's a few more I just wrote out:

 

6.

 

a sleeping golden meadow

the head of a deer combing above and

below the line of weeds

ducking the hunter and his ways

thinking of her fawn

of water and time

 

a sleeping golden meadow

how hard could it be?

below the line of weeds

the ducking hunter sets his pace

thinking of nothing at all

of time, of time

 

and now his sleeping golden meadow

is a parking lot

in the cold golden northwest

waiting to be sold

waiting to be sold

waiting to be sold

waiting to be sold

 

what we have here is

a place for things

a grounds for communication

a grounds for living and for

dying

can you help this wounded ear?

this wounded brain? this matter tain

if i could i'd call The Law

and make him my man

and live forever

and ever

 

 

7.

 

"i cannot seem to shake this matter

i cannot seem to shake at all

of what must i bother with ?what?

again?

no, i'm just not

in my right frame of mind

 

can you understand me?

i musn't do another just yet,

it's just too soon."

 

and that's how your mother and i met

 

basically

 

 

8.

 

and then in her darkest of chambers

in the twilight of the day

she asked me, "will you stay?"

to which i replied:

no bitch, do i look retarded?

 

never before have i been more satisfied

at life

 

 

9.

 

what a terrible day it's been

 

well what was so bad about it?

 

i lost my job

 

yeah?

 

i lost my wife

 

yeah?

 

i lost my spirit

 

c'mon

 

i lost everything

 

and at that moment it occured to me

to never be dependent

to always just be happy

 

and then i laughed

 

oh yes, you did

 

=====

 

edit;;;; one more:

 

 

either/or

do you have will to live?

do you own a home

which contains a bureau

which contains a documents box

which contains a silent bullet called home?

would you believe me if i told a ghost story?

would it make it more believable for you

if i told it atop a rolling hill at dusk with a campfire

and god's sweeping heavens off in the distance?

would it make you feel more comfortable

if i held you more often?

if i told you that it was okay

would you believe me?

want to kiss me even?

do you want to live forever?

it's either/or

you've got life or you've got life

or you've got or

 

am i getting through to you?

do you like making collages,

yes?

how fast would it take you to do that?

do you know anything about buffers

or buffers

or the intricate art of courtroom lighting for television?

could i sell you a story?

could i talk to you privately and

just ask

just ask

maybe a couple times

if you'd like to take a look at it,

Mr. Ingmar Bergman?

it'd really mean a great deal to me.

and since i'm with the writer's guild and all

it'd really be quite convenient for me.

but that isn't the right word is it??

no, not at all really

not at all.

 

can we just,

"......."

yeah, can we just go back now?

whoever needed [insert something thoughtful and modern here] anyway?

Edited December 18, 2006 by Candarelli

[Canofceleri]

11.

 

the fans are keeping the CPU

cool

the job is getting done ---

i'm an authority on that

 

oh, and also the refrigerator

is definitely working

and so are my ears and brain for that matter

because i can definitely hear

i have an acute sense,

it's a gift

 

[a lot of pitter patter on the keyboard]

 

man that fan

is driving me

insane!

oh and everyonce in awhile

...flip...

the inconspicuous yet unapologetic flip

of a horror novel from the other room

and if i could get on that level i'm sure

i could hear whatever's running my stomach

cursing to hell the plank road brewery

but that's just an estimation

 

 

12.

 

 

 

today i watched this special

on the learning channel

about a young adolescent

they call "the smartest boy in the world"

he's 12 years-old

and he's from india

and he's f*cking smart

 

his name was tikrit or something

(although i'm sure that isn't right)

and he's obsessed with cancer

namely concocting a cure for it...

 

oh and aids and every illness in which man suffers

so he's quite ambitious to say the least

 

but what definitely doesn't help is everyone around him

treating him like a guru

drilling into his head that he is

"the smartest boy in the world"

and that the sky is the limit

and blahblahblahblah blah

 

don't get me wrong the kid is smart

but he's also on highway oblivious

on route to asshole-dom

but no what he's really headed for

is a big load of realization,

disappointment, and

last but not least depression

 

when the real deal docs from london

and the IQ specialsts(whatever)

further analyzed him to be

yes extremely smart

but also extremely naive and painfully unrealistic

i had my day

call me an asshole but... i root for the underdog

which in this case was reality

it hurt to watch this kid talk about curing all the ailments

of the world through a glistening smile

with of course a twinkling eye

it did it hurt

because i thought of a day

in which good ol' tikrit is all grown up,

or at least a bit,

and he reviews the footage and blushes

 

it could've all been so easy.

but those docs really did set him straight

and even though he did look deeply distraut (though he did try to hide this)

they did seem to get through to him

 

and f*ck it, he's like twelve right?

he's an unrealized genius!