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Funniest Moments in VCS


Greene
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I created this topic to see what peoples favourite funny moments in VCS were. State your favourite funny moment. Describe it and state why its your favourite. I don't think spoiler tags are necessary as it clearly states this topic is likely to contain SPOILERS.

My favourite funny moment is the beginning cutscene in the mission 'Papi don't screech'. This mission involves picking up Umberto Robina's father because Umberto fears for his life. Its hilarious watching Umberto Robina cry like a little girl when he is usually acting like a macho man. The dialogue in this scene is also hilarious. ''No Papi don't leave me. Im gonna be an orphan.''

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When Phil collins tells his assistant to get breast implants because they would go well with the real tit he uses for a brain biggrin.gif

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The cutscene for one of Umberto's missions when Umberto says somthing(i forget what) to vic and then Vic replys with this: I was in the army not the navy.

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The cutscene for one of Umberto's missions when Umberto says somthing(i forget what) to vic and then Vic replys with this: I was in the army not the navy.

Oh yeah, Umberto was talking about women and then he says 'or maybe you don't like women'. And Vic says that

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Funny scene with Martinez talking about if animal could give consent, he was watching pig, horse sex with woman, beastility stuff.

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Funny scene with Martinez talking about if animal could give consent, he was watching pig, horse sex with woman, beastility stuff.

Yeah, the woman was actually Candy Suxx from Vice City

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My favorite funny part is the cut scene in "Tune on, Tune in, Bug Out"

 

When he stops telling him to act like a kid and lance says. "Will you be quiet you big gorrila, the place is bugged, the DEA is onto us, DEAMN"

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"Time to get my M4. M for Motherf*cker!!" -Lance

 

I just burst out laughing there.

I should put that in my sig, too. Great quote. biggrin.gif

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My funniest moment from Vice City Stories is quote from Fernando Martinez as the roving reporter on Emotion:

 

"That's right Lionel! I am here at Cinderbee's (sp?) tattoos. There are some things that last forever, like the time you play on the railroad tracks with your slow brother, and he doesn’t get out of the way in time. And you realize this is, how ch’you say, a metaphor for the first sexual experience. Ch'you like roses or barbed wire? Or maybe ch'you love someone so much, you want their name on your ass for all eternity? Or ch’you want a tattoo of a mermaid and a gorilla. Or a man slaying a dragon with his penis. These guys take good care of you! They use clean needles, they change them every week. They train for a very long time... like... 3 days. And some of them have been in the joint, so ch'you know they have experience. For skulls on fire, or Egyptian symbols of fertility, come to Cinderbee's tattoos. This IS Fernando Martinez."

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I think the pedestrian dialogue and radio station identifications are some of the funniest stuff. At least, that's the stuff that makes me laugh out loud when I'm playing. Things like the Flash FM station ID: <singing>"We hate singing this sh*t, but our record deal fell through, Flash FM"

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The links betweens songs on Flash FM and V Rock are pretty funny, but thats to be expected with GTA.

 

 

Tery: The T-Shirt says: I heart Vice City. I so heart this place. It's pretty bitchin', get laid alot.

 

Toni: No you don't. It's symbolic, as in, I'd Heart your ugly face getting run over by an eighteen wheeler, tramp.

Edited by _Stuch_
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toni(i think):girls never get busted!

 

tery(i think): we sleep are way out of troble!

 

tony(i think): u slute! i only sleep with the good looking ones, the ugly ones get a hand jobb biggrin.gif

 

 

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Allmost every cutscene involving Martinez is hilarous.

 

Vic: The reefer is under my bed.

Martinez: Oh, jesus. Great hiding place. What are you? 15?

 

Vic: (...) Brothers. One is real sick, asthma and I gotta pay the bills. The other... Well, maybe he's sick too, but in a different way.

 

Vic: I don't trust you Martinez.

Martinez: Hey, this is not a proper way of speaking to a superior officer!

<silence>

Hahahaha!

 

Also most of the Lance's missions are funny. "I'm the black killa from manilla! Manilla billa!"

 

Whole 'Tune in, turn on, bug out' cutscene is a brilliant too ; ]

 

Most of Reni's missions are cool too, but at the moment I can remeber just one quote:

 

Reni: Darling! You're here to lighten my heart.!

Vic: Uhh... Not exactly...

 

More to com, I gotta watch the Video Memories once again : p

 

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Nick Papagiorgio

I remember the one mission where you had to take pictures of Marinez with an agent. At the end of the mission he says....

 

"Wow, you guys suck. I mean really suck, I could have been killed."

 

Here are some of my favorite quotes.......(not mentioned yet)

 

"Lower your pants and prepare to cry."-Phil Cassidy

 

"Domestobot! You ruined me!....(Armando shoots the Domestobot)"-Armando Mendez

 

"Well I wasn't the one looking for true love in Monaco."-Phil Collins

 

"Let's Pop! Like cola."-Lance Vance

 

"Hey. Vic Vance. Did anyone ever tell you that you have a really dumb name?"-Martinez

 

"Hey baby, You look like you got some Cuban in you."-Umberto Robina

 

Number of times Lance says "Let's Pop!" in VCS- 25-30 times tounge.gif

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"I'm about to give you a shotgun suppository." - Phil Cassidy

 

"Yea. I'm Lance T. Vance. T for Tulips in Thailand. Haha!" - Lance

 

 

"Hey baby, You look like you got some Cuban in you."-Umberto Robina

 

oh yea. But what he says after that is way worse.

 

"Do you want some Cuban in you?" - Umberto

 

cry.gif

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Vanilla Shake

I like what Vic says to Lance in the opening cutscene for "Jive Drive"...

 

Lance: "Well, I'm not the one who got kicked out of the army."

 

Vic: "No, you're the asshole who got kicked out of the boy scouts."

 

 

 

"Music to get accidentally pregnant to." - Flash FM.

TC718 / <629 / CF5

NGEh8XV.png

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Psst.

 

Hey Gman, that mission you were talking about,

 

 

Vic: Hey, you comin?

 

Umberto: Yeah, but not with you my friend!

 

moto_whistle.gif

 

Wonder if he heard her when she said she's a les... Guess not.

Slosten.gif

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Nick Papagiorgio

Yeah, Umberto definatley blocked out the fact that she was a lez..

He just continued to attempt to "woo" her.

 

More quotes:

 

Mendez Goon-"Armando has two messages. One: Get out of Vice and the girl lives. And two:...........(car blows up)....." Lance-"MY CAR!"

 

"I got some new donkey (<El Burro) porno."-Ricardo Diaz

 

"Candy Suxxx! Heheh.....That's some guys daughter, man."

"I need a woman. No. I need Mary.....Oh Mary, Mary, quite contrary...."

 

^both quotes are from Martinez

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Ifc in mission "Blitzkrieg" Lance says something like "The name is Lance Vance and you don't have a chance!".

Most of the time Lance makes me laugh. What a shame that he betrays Tommy confused.gif .

 

The cutscene of "Turn on, Turn in, Bug out" was great.

Edited by Meta
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Wierd... before the game was released everyone shouted that they hate Lance, and that he's the biggest prick.

But now, everyone loves him (apart from the fact he betrays Tommy).

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Lance - "Keep your voice down"

Victor - "No. You can barely tie your own shoelaces, and you're telling me how to behave?"

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Vic:Keep your head down . Reni:In your lap darling? Vic:Um no. Lol lol.gif

Edited by Seville carl
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From White Lies

 

Louise: I was just looking for a way to relax and have a good time.

 

Vic: So you f**ked my brother?!!

 

Louise and Lance: NO!!

 

 

I found that funny for some reason. confused.gif

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