Sinful Posted December 26, 2006 Author Share Posted December 26, 2006 Very sexy chapter indeed, Sinful. Just one thing I noticed.... Lance bought a coffee and slowly drunk it while sitting on a comfortable blue plastic chair. About a half hour later, a black modified ’84 Excess parked in front of the main entrance of the Escobar International Airport. Forgive me for asking, but shouldn't that be "Francis International Airport". Woops. Thanks for the correction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serafim Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 (edited) Very sexy chapter indeed, Sinful. Just one thing I noticed.... Lance bought a coffee and slowly drunk it while sitting on a comfortable blue plastic chair. About a half hour later, a black modified ’84 Excess parked in front of the main entrance of the Escobar International Airport. Forgive me for asking, but shouldn't that be "Francis International Airport". No, Francis is the airport from LC afaik. In VC it's Escobar . Nice chapter . Tommy was ignoring Lance so much that he didn't notice he went to liberty *coughs* EDIT: Oh, my bad, confused the airports :s Edited December 26, 2006 by Serafim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VicVance Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 Another great chapter It's too bad the end is near It would be great if you make another one with Lance but in 1984 while he's with Vic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VicVance Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 (edited) Ooops,sorry for the double-post Edited December 27, 2006 by VicVance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinful Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 Whoa, my rating is at 55% Damn you palaric8, f*cking with the forum. Anyway. I'm writing the last chapter right now, then I'll wait three or two more comments from the last one, and only then I'll post the last one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rashon. Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 Lol. I was confused with the airports, too. Great chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cubanwhip Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 Palaric8 is retarded and just is pissed he got banned. He also has some strange fetish with PK. This story rocks. Probably my first comment on it, but I have been reading it! Again, Palaric8 sucks, story rocks, Palaric8 is gay for PK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 I stopped commenting for a while, but I'm still reading it. Looking foward to the next one, dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VicVance Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 It's too bad it's the last one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Nice lengthy CHapter, can't wait for the last one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSF_Membuh Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 This is maybe my first post on this fan fic, but I have been reading from the beginning to the end and I am impressed by your work braddah! Palaric is just like the douchebag he says he is and like what Cuban said a retard! Palaric sucks! Can't wait for the next chapter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
optimun_online Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 This is maybe my first post on this fan fic, but I have been reading from the beginning to the end and I am impressed by your work braddah! Palaric is just like the douchebag he says he is and like what Cuban said a retard! Palaric sucks! Can't wait for the next chapter! yea he suks ass! f*ck him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 yea he suks ass! f*ck him! If you have nothing to say regarding the story, please leave this topic SinfuL: How much longer until next chapter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinful Posted December 28, 2006 Author Share Posted December 28, 2006 Probably Tomorrow, b18. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSF_Membuh Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Is it just me or did the percentage just came from 53 to 51? Anyways like Blackadder said, bring on the last chapter homie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinful Posted December 28, 2006 Author Share Posted December 28, 2006 Is it just me or did the percentage just came from 53 to 51? Anyways like Blackadder said, bring on the last chapter homie! I though it was 54% Anyway, it did. So I think this optimus whatever is palaric8... Again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSF_Membuh Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 How many accounts does this Palaric dude have?! He's more annoying than that Claude_Tommy_CJ_4ever guy or whatever the hell his name is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 I thought Palaric was Sinful's friend. I'll get my friend to fix your rating back up, along with the other stories soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brutuz Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 How many accounts does this Palaric dude have?! He's more annoying than that Claude_Tommy_CJ_4ever guy or whatever the hell his name is? He had 5, then he made more, and still will Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serafim Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Palaric is an asshole, he just wants to screw up other people's fic rating :s Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brutuz Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Palaric is an asshole, he just wants to screw up other people's fic rating :s He also seems to be obsessed with cerbwang...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Papagiorgio Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Palaric is an asshole, he just wants to screw up other people's fic rating :s He also seems to be obsessed with cerbwang...... lol, he has 6 accounts. Banned on all of them. All we have to hope for is to have admins or mods to reinstate the true topic ratings. I guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinful Posted December 28, 2006 Author Share Posted December 28, 2006 (edited) Chapter XVII - …And Your Enemies Closer -I’ll do it. -Lance said. -Good. Now listen, we gotta talk about the details. -said Sonny. -You won’t let Tommy know you double-crossed him until the end. You’ll have to stay there and pretend you’re with him, so you can take out any protection he may have. In two days, me and my associates will fly to Vice, then give you a call. You’ll tell Tommy, he’ll go there right away, we get there, we kill him, and everyone’s happy. -You think Tommy will just surrender and let himself get killed? -No. He doesn’t need to. He’ll die anyway. -You sure there’s no risk? -C’mon, it’s simple! He’s one, we’re about, what? Fifty? Tommy might be good, but he’s still a mortal. -I think so. -said Lance. The flight to Vice City was calm and fast. In two hours and a half he was leaving the white and blue AT-300 and walking his way out of the Escobar International. He was wearing the yellow Hawaiian t-shirt and the same jeans pants he wore in Liberty City when he called a Kaufman Cab; from Tommy’s company; to pick him up at the airport. In five minutes he was back in the Mansion. Tommy was there, training boxing with some organization goons -who just felt on the ground on purpose after the first punch Tommy gave them- when Lance’s cab parked in front of the Mansion gate. -C’mon guys, you gotta be strong! -said Tommy while punching another bodyguard on the face -Who knows what can happen if someone try to kill us all, eh? Hahaha… Lance! -Hey there Tommy. -Where the hell have you been? -I was in Los Santos, visiting my mom… -Oh, ok… You wanna join here? -Nah, I’ll pass. -said Lance, while he was getting inside the Mansion, and going to take a shower, and waiting for Sonny to call. Two days went through until Sonny called. Lance was leaving the shower and dressing himself with his white suit. He listened to his cell phone ring in the office and ran to pick it up. -Gimme that, Rosenberg! -said Lance, when he saw Rosenberg, the lawyer, holding the phone and thinking about picking it up. -Here, take it. -said Ken, obviously doped, handing the cell phone to Lance. -Who’s this? -asked Lance. -Sonny here, kid. Call Tommy, we’re coming down there right now. Everything’s ok? -sh*t! You gotta be kidding me! -yelled Lance, pretending he didn’t know the man on the phone. -Good. Get rid of the bodyguards. We’ll be there with three limos and a helicopter. -Son of a bitch! -yelled Lance, turning the phone off. -Who was that? -asked Rosenberg, cleaning some of the cocaine out of his face and drinking a glass of water. -You won’t believe it. Those assholes from Liberty. They’re coming down to see the business. -Oh sh*t! We gotta tell Tommy! -Yeah, yeah. I’ll call him. -said Lance, dialing Tommy’s number on the cell phone. -Oh f*ck… We’re all gonna die! -said Ken Rosenberg, sitting on Tommy’s chair. Tommy answered the phone and Lance said: -Tommy, Lance, we got big problems. Come down here. Right away. -and he turned the phone off. -Why didn’t you tell him that’s the MOB who’s coming down here?! It’s the Forellis! We’re gonna die! -said Ken Rosenberg, passing out on the desk. -sh*t. Asshole… -said Lance to himself, looking at Ken. A few minutes later, Lance heard the sound of Tommy’s PCJ’s engine being turned off in the Mansion garage. -Wake up, cokehead. -said Lance, sitting on the desk and trying to wake up Rosenberg. Tommy was wearing his black suit with a pink shirt inside. -What’s going on? -he said, walking in the room. -Tommy! Oh good, good. Listen, listen. Uh, listen… -said Ken Rosenberg, cleaning some of the cocaine out of his pants and getting up from Tommy’s chair -I like fish. I love fish. I love them as pets in bowls, or as food on a plate… -said him, pointing at imaginary bowls and plates on the air. -But as much as I love em, I don't want to sleep with them. Okay, but right now your Italian brothers are coming from up there to fit me with some cement shoes, and I... -Shut up Ken. Sit down. -said Tommy, pointing to a small chair behind Ken. -Lance, what the hell's going on? -It's your friends up north Tommy. They ain't too happy you capped their man. -answered Lance, while Ken was doing something that appeared to be a pray. -They're coming down to see the business today. -They took longer than I thought… -said Tommy, looking to Lance, then looking at Ken. -Guys, we gotta make this final, we gotta leave no doubt that this is my operation. Mine! Tommy was a self-righteous asshole, after all. -Ken, you get the first run of counterfeit cash and put three mil in briefcases. -said Tommy, while Ken was getting up and leaving the room. He then turned to Lance. -Lance, you get the guys together… Lance left the room while Tommy picked up some weapons from the office. All of the Mansion security guards were together in a line in front of the Mansion. -Alright, guys, I’ve got something to tell ya. It’s really important that you do exactly what I’m going to say. -What, boss? -asked one of them. -Get outta here and go have some fun. -What? -That’s it! You’re free to go. -We’re fired? -No! You’ll be paid, I just don’t wanna see you here, ok? Now leave! -Ok, boss… Is Tommy ok with this? -Of course Tommy’s ok with this! He’s the one who gave me the order! -Alright, then… One by one, the security guards left the Mansion and drove off to their houses -or strip clubs-. Lance walked inside the Mansion and Tommy said, holding an M4 assault rifle: -So, the guys are ready? -It’s all sharp, Tommy. They’re just waiting the Forellis to get here. Ken’s got the money? -Yeah, two cases full of it. C’mon, let’s get over there. -said Tommy, walking back to the office. -Ken, you ready? -Ready? Well, I’m almost dieing here, but I’m fine! -Ok, look-- -They’re here, Tommy. -said Lance, looking at Sonny walking inside the Mansion. -Alright, let’s go. -said Tommy. The trio walked downstairs. Tommy left his guns in the office, and Ken was carrying the two briefcases full of counterfeit cash. -Tommy! -said Sonny, opening his arms. He was wearing a dark-blue suit with a weird stamped yellow shirt and white silk pants. Smith Geraci was aside him, wearing a brown shirt and dark beige pants. -What? No big hugs for your old buddy? -Sonny said. -I've had fifteen years out of the loop… -said Tommy. Lance was looking at Geraci with an evil happy smile. -I'm a bit rusty on family etiquette. -Always angry, eh Tommy. -said Sonny. -Didn't I say your temper would get you into trouble, huh? -There's three mil in the cases… -said Tommy, pointing at the briefcases Ken was carrying. -How many was it? Ten? No, eleven men. -said Sonny, while Ken put the cases on the floor. -That's how you get to be called the Harwood Butcher! Hahaha… “What the hell Sonny’s talking about?” thought Lance. -You sent me to kill one man, ONE MAN. -yelled Tommy. -They knew I was coming Sonny… -Tommy, Tommy, watch your tone. -said Sonny. -Anyone would think you blame me for that unfortunate set of circumstances. “So that’s what got Tommy in jail.” thought Lance. -Just take the money… -said Tommy. -Get the damn cash. -said Sonny, pointing at the briefcases on the floor. Smith picked them up. -You know, Tommy? I did what I could for you, I pulled strings, called in favors. I was your friend, Tommy. I hoped you'd see sense, see what's good for business. I trusted you, Tommy, and you disappointed me. But at least someone in your chicken sh*t organization knows how to do business. -two other Forelli thugs, wearing colorful Hawaiian shirts, walked in the Hall. -Isn't that right, Lance? Lance slowly walked to Sonny’s side. Tommy and Ken looked at each other surprised. -I'm sorry Tommy. This is Vice City! This is business. -said Lance, and Sonny laughed. -You sold us out… -said Tommy, looking at Lance. -No. I sold YOU out, Tommy, I sold YOU out. The real cash is upstairs in the safe. -said Lance, pointing to the office upstairs. -Tommy, what was the big plan? -asked Sonny. -You think I'd just take the fake cash? Save face and run away with my tail between my legs?! -No. -said Tommy. -I just wanted to piss you off before I kill you. Sonny walked out of the Mansion so his goons could kill Tommy. One of the Forelli thugs threw Lance a Ruger assault rifle and a belt full of clips. Tommy ran to the office upstairs, shooting a few goons with a Python taken from his pocket. Ken ran into the TV room and tried to hide under the couch. Dozens of armed Forelli goons began to get out of the white limos outside the Mansion. Lance ran to the corridor leading to the Mansion’s helipad. Tommy had finally left the office, wearing a body armor and carrying a Ruger. -No one to cover your ass now, eh Tommy? -yelled Lance, trying to shoot him from the corridor’s entrance. -You're going down, you back stabbing prick! -yelled Tommy, shooting Lance back and missing. -Oh you think so! -said Lance, running through the corridor leading to the helipad. Tommy followed him. -Come here you double-crossing piece of sh*t! -yelled Tommy while Lance was running upstairs. Luckily, there would be more Forelli thugs in the helipad, helping Lance to kill Tommy. -You're history, Tommy, history! -yelled Lance, running in the Mansion’s roof. Six Forelli goons, armed with Pistols and Tec9s, were there waiting for Tommy. Lance hid behind a few empty gas barrels while Tommy killed three goons putting bullets in their heads. “What the f*ck? How come Tommy’s still alive?” thought Lance. Tommy hid the same way as Lance in the other side of the roof. At this time, all Forelli thugs were dead, and only Lance was shooting Tommy. -This is the last dance for Lance Vance! -yelled Tommy. One of his bullets penetrated Lance’s left shoulder, forcing him to hold the Ruger with one hand. -I said I had enough of that at school! -yelled Lance, shooting Tommy’s body armor, which made him fall back. “He’s dead now. It’s the end.” thought Lance, getting up from behind the barrels. Tommy got up. The bullets made no harm for him. He picked his Ruger back and shot Lance’s torso multiple times, making him fall back above a Forelli goon’s dead body, his white suit now painted red by his own blood. -You picked the wrong side, Lance… -said Tommy, looking at Lance’s body. Lance Vance was dead. -------------------------------------------------------- And that, my friends, is the end. I think Maybe, just maybe, there'll be some 'extra' chapter 'round here... Who knows? Edited March 23, 2007 by Sinful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Papagiorgio Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Beauty of a chapter, Sinful. Loved it. You should make a mystery chapter, Lance comes back to life. lol, jk. I'm fine with the way it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Great chapter man! I felt sorry for Lance, but ofcourse he had it coming to him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSF_Membuh Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Excellent Sinful, excellent! *applauds* So this is the end huh? Hope you make another one soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rashon. Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 I really need to get a gamesave just before Keep Your Friends Close. This has made me want to experience killing Lance again. I like Lance but a little too much of an idiot. Great story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinful Posted December 28, 2006 Author Share Posted December 28, 2006 (edited) Heh-heh-heh http://img240.imageshack.us/img240/6476/shot0446xb1.jpg Just so everybody knows, the so called "bonus chapter" is already written. I'll post it tomorrow. Edited December 28, 2006 by Sinful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serafim Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 Nice chapter, Sinful. But I really liked the screen hahahah. I just found the title a bit weird, like... if nobody knew what that means, it would be kinda messy, like where is the start of the sentence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 *A tear sheds from blackadder18's eye* Poor Lance! The way you put it is so much more emotional! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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