-/TNT\- Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Nice long chapter blackadder. Get well soon and... meh I have besides the weekend, Monday and Tuesday off too. Teacher's elections. I'm thinking of using the userbar. Will it look better around my waist or around my head? get well -/TNT\- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted November 11, 2006 Author Share Posted November 11, 2006 Thanks, I'm hoping to make a full recovery by Tomorrow, but you never know, I might feel better by tonight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-/TNT\- Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 Thanks, I'm hoping to make a full recovery by Tomorrow, but you never know, I might feel better by tonight Get well cards take too long to arrive by post and as you seem to be getting better from what you tell us, I'll just add the banner to my sig. That must help you psychologically, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted November 11, 2006 Author Share Posted November 11, 2006 (edited) Well I managed to write another flashback, I wanted to write more without screwing up the main streamline, so sorry if this isn't up to scratch with my other chapters. Flashback 2: The Deal Vice City, 1986 Vic and Lance are sitting in their apartment Lance: This is it! The big one! Our last one, then were clear! Vic: Yeh, so you got the drugs? Lance: They are secure in the Maverick Vic: Ok, I’m gonna put on some body armour, just incase Vic walks out of the room and into the bathroom. He opens the cupboard and pulls out some body armour Vic: Hey Lance, you want any? Lance: You’re forgetting the plan! We come in from the ocean, you get out and do the deal, meanwhile I sit in the Maverick and watch it go down Vic: Oh yeh Vic straps his body armour on Lance: Ok brother, Lets pop! They walk outside and hop in the helicopter They slowly land at the docks Lance: An admiral, that’s 4 people max, be careful they might try to doublecross us Vic: Ok, I’ll be back soon Vic gets out of the Maverick with Two briefcases. He walks over to Tommy Tommy: You got it? Vic: Pure A-grade Columbian my friend! Tommy: Let me see it Vic: The greens? Tommy: Tens and twentys, used Vic: I think we have a deal my friend Vic laughs as he puts the briefcases down. At that moment Lance notices four men with M60’s behind the crates Lance: No! The men shoot at Vic, Tommy and the two other men Lance: I will get you for that! Vic: Motherfuc— Lance takes off as Vic is knocked unconscious when he hits the floor Vic wakes up Vic: Where am I? Medic: You’ve been shot up pretty bad, were taking you to the hospital The ambulance stops Medic: Were going to perform surgery on you, to get the bullets out, just remain calm Vic passes out 6 months later Judge: I Sentence you, Life, in jail, for your acts in 1984 Vic: Damnit Vic gets handcuffed and taken to his cell And TNT, do you know where I live? Edited November 11, 2006 by blackadder18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-/TNT\- Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 The chapter is fine. I guess you live in Aussie land, according to the flag that must be true. I wasn't basing my comment on that though. Even if you lived in the town next to me, it would take more than a day for a letter to arrive. Greece is f*cked up. Sometimes, my mom might get a package from England. It travels from England to Greece in two days and from there to where I live more that a week. See what I mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted November 11, 2006 Author Share Posted November 11, 2006 I meant, how would you know where to post it to? Anyway, I'm thinking of writing another GTA Fanfic, but this will be top priority, any ideas for the other fanfic though? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brutuz Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 Pretty good, only problem is my internet's barely working. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-/TNT\- Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 Yeah, I have. Stick to the ones you have, finish Vercetti revenge, then start Wall Rider. You have dumped Amourica and seem to be working on another project (TA?) Don't overwhelm yourself with work, if you do everything you set out to do, it means you are consistent and will receive the respect from other people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted November 11, 2006 Author Share Posted November 11, 2006 I managed o get a beta out of TA before I lost interest in it.. I have no modellers and pretty much noone on my team, So it pretty much died out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-/TNT\- Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 Is there a download link you can send me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinful Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 Great story, dude... Readed all the first part But... Wasn't Tommy dead? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rashon. Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Keep the chapters rolling in, blackadder. x3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brutuz Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 But... Wasn't Tommy dead? Nah his legs are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted November 12, 2006 Author Share Posted November 12, 2006 Writing Chapter 7 Although I keep disliking what I write and delete major parts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brutuz Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Well hurry up and finish it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted November 12, 2006 Author Share Posted November 12, 2006 You want it to be a halfarsed chapter? No? Then be patient! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-end Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Just read through the first 7 chapters, it seems more like a movie script than a story But, if you were aiming for movie script it's awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brutuz Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Just read through the first 7 chapters, it seems more like a movie script than a story But, if you were aiming for movie script it's awesome. Well that way He could make a TC of it or something, I might with my story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaon, Lord of End Times Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 That's a great chap, man. I love those flashbacks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-/TNT\- Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 My sig is sooooo cool. Hurry up blackadder18. Don't post a halfbacked chapter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 Chapter 7 isn't long as it should be but I still havn't recovered fully, so oh well Chapter 7: Mansion Killing Tim and Tommy retrieve their guns from the Barracks OL Cesar: So what guns have we got? Tim opens a crate Tim: One Spaz 12, two Silenced Pistol’s, one Silenced Uzi and one Mac 10, and that’s only this crate! Cesar: I’ll take a Silenced Pistol Claude: I did some shooting back in 2001, so I’ll take the Mac 10 Woozie: I’ll take the other silenced pistol Vic: I’ll take the Spaz 12 Tommy: Let’s go Vic walks towards the frontgate Tim: Stop! Vic: Why? Tim: If you go through there you will be blown to bits! Vic: Oh yeh, right Tim: I have a good idea, we approach from behind, they aren’t expecting us to approach from their, so we can sneak around for awhile and attack from within Tommy: Sounds good let’s go They walk around the mansion to the back of the mansion Tim: Ok, Vic, Tommy and Claude you’re coming with me, Cesar and Woozie, your going to be going in stealthily, see if you can find out any information for us Cesar: Ok ese, see you inside Tim, Vic, Tommy and Claude walk back to the front gates Vic: So now we are going to walk through the front gates? Tim: I have a plan though Tim walks over to the Barracks OL and gets out four grendades Claude: Why would we need those? Tim: Just shutup and listen, we each get one of these, standard issue smoke grenades, I will throw one first then both of you hide behind something, the Claude you will thow another, until we are close enough to gain the upper hand. Meanwhile Tommy, Cesar and Woozie should be in there. On three Tim rolls the smokebomb out Tim Three, two, one, Go! They run out through the smoke Claude: I can’t see through this sh*t! Tim: Find cover! They run behind a few trees. They see a couple guards look at the now fading smoke Guard 1: An Intruder? Guard 2: No, must have been a broken pipe again Guard 1: Heh, yeh, lets go inside Both of the guards walk back inside Meanwhile… Cesar and Woozie sneak into the mansion through the back Cesar: Clear, hurry up Woozie! Woozie: I’m coming just wait! They hear a guard Guard: Who was that? Frank? Was that you? Cesar: sh*t The guard slowly walks towards them Woozie: Why don’t we use our pistols? Guard: Frank your scaring me, if your joking around, quit it! Cesar: Remember Tim said he want’s information? Woozie: Yeh Cesar: We both shoot him in the one of his legs, two times. Then we can question him later Woozie: Ready? Cesar: Go ese! They shoot two bullets into each leg. The guard slumps onto the floor Cesar: Nice shot! Woozie: Thanks Cesar: Help me with this They creep over to the body and pick him up. They hide him in a closet and continue to sneak on Meanwhile back outside Tim, Tommy, Claude and Vic are in a gunfight Claude: Damnit there’s too many Tim pops around the corner and shoots two guards Tim: Doesn’t seem too hard Something then pokes Tommy in the back Tommy: Now who the fu… Tommy is staring down the barrel of Carl’s Pistol Carl: I knew you would come here, nobody else move, or I blow him to bits! Tommy: Oh great Carl: You put your gun down Vic drops his gun. Somehow the trigger goes off Carl: Arrgh! Tommy had his eyes closed at the time. He opens them and sees Carl’s left arm blown off Carl: You bastard! Vic: What did I do? Tim notices that Vic is grinning alittle Carl: You rigged the gun to go off when u dropped it! Vic: That’s crazy! All of a sudden Vic falls on the ground Tim: What the f*ck? Tim turns around and sees a huge guard standing behind him Tim: You bas… Tim gets hit in the head and collapses on the floor Guard: What would you like me to do with them sir? Carl: Put them in the basement Guard: Yes sir! Carl : Oh and try to get some information out of the marine Guard: Yes sir! Carl: Have to get to the f*cking hospital… Don't forget about Woozie and Cesar Chap 7 on Page 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spenc938 Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Chap 7 on Page 7 Actually it's page eight. Good job though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brutuz Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Page 4 Good Chapter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 (edited) Oops, didn't notice that And Brutuz change your posts per page! Edited November 13, 2006 by blackadder18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rashon. Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Oops, didn't notice that And Brutuz change your posts per page! Lol, and at the top of the page, too. Great chapter. x3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-/TNT\- Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Good chapter, lots of action. Not enough gore though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinful Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 I just finished reading all the chapters now. Man... That flashback rocked. Funny thing is, I'm just writing a story about Lance, and I showed the Vance view from the 1986 deal too... Before I read yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted November 15, 2006 Author Share Posted November 15, 2006 Thanks, and there was enough gore TNT! Anyway since it's been a while since I've posted a chapter (busy with school) I'll tell you name of next chapter Chapter 8: Mansion Exfiltration Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-/TNT\- Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 Mansion Exfiltration? If that word is the opposite of infiltrate, as I guess it is, I think it should be cjanged to Exodus or escape, which are more clicky and may be understood by non-english speakers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spenc938 Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 You are a very picky person, aren't you? I like the sound of mansion exfiltration. It rhymes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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