Ottae Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Just read the last chapter and I noticed a few plot mistakes etc. First of all, why would Tim get so wound up over an xray machine? Sure, he's got a angry personality, but it's an Xray machine ffs, what does he expect? Secondly, the doctor says "It's probably just bruised or something" In a hospital, a doctor i more likely to find out if it's bruised or not than hand out some painkillers. I thought the Flatbed full of pillows was a bit too convenient, and later on we are told that they are full of grenades, so why didn't they injure themselves on the hard grenades when they landed? That's it really, I haven't read the story but the chapter was ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 It's GTA, GTA has a few plotholes...I think...Thanks for reading anyway! And Tim is crazy after the event that happened before Part 3 For the pillows... there is only a couple of Grenades per pillow, so the chances of landing on one was slim...ish. And the truck HAD to be there, what were they going to do, jump onto the pavement? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottae Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Tim seemed fine before they get to the hospital, sure his leg hurt but he was showing no sign of craziness at all, just talking normally with Cortez. What did he expect the machine to do anyway? It's just that it seemed too unbelievable. A truck was parked directly under a hole in the wall, that's lucky, but a truck full of pillows? That's taking the piss! I know it fit well into the rest of the chapter, I didn't buy it that's all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 Well, it's good to see a different opinion then "Good Chapter B18" Thanks for your criticism, I'll try make sure I don't do it again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brutuz Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Well, when I saw that, I thought "Thats GTA for you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gouveia Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 DAmn, I forgot the entire story so I need to catch it up.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 The pillowtruck scene is abit like the mission in SA where you Rob Caligulas When you get to the roof, there is a parachute waiting for you Anyway, Chapter 3 coming soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brutuz Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 The pillowtruck scene is abit like the mission in SA where you Rob Caligulas When you get to the roof, there is a parachute waiting for you Anyway, Chapter 3 coming soon! See? Thats what I mean! Its just GTA for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-/TNT\- Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Tim notices a Flatbed filled with pillows underneath them lol. Why couldn't there be diapers in the truck? Good Chapter B18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinful Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Nice chap. Although I didn't really understand what happened to the Mansion... As for the pillows thing, you should just add that they felt on the pillows and they were hard instead of soft... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serafim Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Nice chapter, b18, I just found it kinda messy. The story is kinda confused to keep up . Well anyways, what happened to the mansion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted January 26, 2007 Author Share Posted January 26, 2007 Isn't it obvious what happened to the Mansion? It blew up! School starts soon, so chapters will be slower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Pimp chapter once again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 WOrking on chapter 3 now, expect it by next week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brutuz Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 WOrking on chapter 3 now, expect it by next week I'm counting...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rashon. Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 I'm always fashionably late for the last chapter posted. That chapter was so big, it could've been 3 different ones. Also, the French suck. Good Chapter B18. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hi1 Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 o shi.t some nice sh*t kick ass !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crip_Killah Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Great strory ya have here Blackadder! I am only on Chapter 5, but I'll catch up soon. Rated Good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted February 8, 2007 Author Share Posted February 8, 2007 Damn, I was so busy with the Tarkers I forgot I'll get right to work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brutuz Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 Grr, Make a new chapter, NOW!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 Yeah, it's been like 28 years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spenc938 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 I haven't read in a couple months, I'll have to catch up some time. I see that you started a gang. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA-MASTA 56 Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 GTA-MASTA want new chapta, now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA-MASTA 56 Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!! its been 2 weeks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted February 17, 2007 Author Share Posted February 17, 2007 I will post it when I finish, I'm really out of date in ALOT of things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 Haha, you're so slow at stuff nowadays Oh well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA-MASTA 56 Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 giv us the chapter now. just stop with tarkers for awhile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-/TNT\- Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Lol, yah. We don't want you with us anymo' [/rebel] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA-MASTA 56 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackadder. Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 giv us the chapter now. just stop with tarkers for awhile. Who said I was busy with the Tarkers?... I said I was busy, the Tarkers isn't my entire life you know, neither is this topic. Jesus It will be done when it's done. Ok? If not Ok...Then get lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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