GtaGangsta Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 (edited) Chapter 1 Welcome To The Blood Contract Agency Chapter 2 Getting Ready For The Assasination Chapert 3 Me My Gun And Vercetti Chapter 4 El Assesino Chapert 5 Make Sure What is dead Stays Dead PLease people this is my first story please comment and give me positive feed back please A True Hitman Story Chapter 1 Welcome to the Blood Contract Agency {BCA} January 1st 2006 los santos old balla teritory As the morning rises again in Los Santos Julio a 19 year old boy that grew up in hard time territorys was hanging out with a old time friend named Daquan they were at a old Balla territory that has hundreds of bullet holes decorating the street that place belonged to diablos after the ballas were taken out but out of nowhere the diablos were taken out, people dont know who did it Daquan- Wow this street sure does bring up bad memories, damn i cant believe wat you did man, 2 weeks ago you were a diablo og and now you a gang banger with no gang because you were the one who took them out of los santos Julio- just stop right there look ever since i was 13 i was rolling with the diablos in liberty i took them where no gang has gone before across to another state to take out another gang Daquan- thas right you were up there with the diablo boss and because you felt you had better things to do then hang with a street gang still dont mean you had to take em out out of los santos man dam, but it was kinda cool and unbelieavable how youtook the Diablo boss out i mean you know the diablos were big after they took out the ballas and Vagos how did you do it Julio -it keeps ringing in my mind over and over again, ok look this is what happened ____________________________________________________________________ Flashes back to Los Santos at Santa Maria December 20th 2005 8:00 as El burro and 30 other diablos are at one of the buildings at one of the buidlings near the buildings 10 others were surrounding the outside also Julio stands outide Julio- Damn there are a lot of Diablos Julio starts walkin towards the entrace with two big suit cases Diablo Member - [spanish accent] Hey Julio why do you ignore me man how you doin Julio- im fine wheres Burro i need to speak bussines with him about how to expand to San Fiero Diablo Member- oh san fiero we could turn that homo place into a diablo paradise good thinkin hes in building 467 well nice talkin to you see ya later julio , oh wait meng you need help with those bags they look big and heavy Julio immediatly gets away from the member and in a mad but stern voice says julio- No!! ill keep it Diablo member- ok if you say so meng Julio finnaly finds building 467 julio-ok les do this sh*t julio- just walks in cassualy into the building and goes up the stairs where he finds burro playin video games on his ps2 and 10 of the thirty diablos in the building in the same room as burro Julio- hey burro Burro- hey was up julio wat you been up to julio - nuthin much just thinkin burro- thinkin about wat meng . new ideas on how to take over SAn andreas huh listen man when i die i want you to become leader of diablos julio- oh really well i cant burro- what why julio- because there wont be any diablos left in san andreas and if i predict maybe not liberty either burro stops playin the ps2 burro- what the hell are you talkin about julio *burro aproaches julio* why will there not be any diablos julio- cause im gonna take em out julio pulls out 2 9mm and shoots burro in the leg and hides behind a sofa as he shoots of 5 diablos he realoads and shoots the other five left burro- ahhgh what the hell are you doin julio julio-i have better things to do man then hang out with a small ass street gang burro- julio i trusted you julio - what ever burro trust kills burro pulls out two uzis and shoots at the sofa both him and julio are now shooting at each other both run out of ammo julio reloads one gun and so does burro julio takes his used gun clip and throws it at burros head it hits burros eye burro falls on his ass ,as julio relaods his other gun burro- you son of a b*tch you poked my eye out mutherf*cker ahh julio- thanks for the opprtunity burro its been a nice trip burro- f*ck you!!! julio puts a bullet in burros head , burros head hits the floor a Diablo punches the door diablo 1- hello burro hello what the hell happened in thier hello some on answer me julio quicly un packs his suit case and oulls out sub machine guns and a very powerfull customised ak47 julio speaks to his self julio- ok julio you can do this this AK took you alot of money to customize ok les do dis SCARFACE style the diablo shoots the door and opens it ' julio - say hello to my little friend julio shoots 15 diablos that come in the room [ julios advantage shooting at the doorway entrance ] julio keeps shooting but its like the diablos keep spawning and the moment julio has to reload 6 diablos bust throught windows millions of shots are fired amazingly only 3 shots hit julio in his arm his shoulder leg and chest. julio- ahh dammit julio responds by shooting them in a line with his Ak47 there are 19 diablos left julio quikly reloads and shoots 10 diablos out by the entrance a few left but they arent entering the room julio goes by the stairs there he shoots 3 diablos they go roling down the stairs and knocks 2 diablos over ,julio shoots them. julio- looks like there are a couple left whoo hoo julio just goes up stairs packs his ak and takes out his 9mm's julio runs downstairs 9 diablos are down at the entrance julio uses the wal hug teqchnique and shoots 4 diablos in the leg forcing them to fall down not move then he comes out and shoots 3 diablos and then julio kneels down and shoots the light know one can see but julio comes out and just shots at the entrance julio reaches into his bag and pulls out a flash light as he sees the all but the four diablos on the floor are dead he takes there guns and shoots the remaining survivors SIRENS ARE HEARD!!!!!!!!! Julio takes his bags and runs out the back exit he throws his bags over a wall and then he jumps over it then he grabs his bags and dissapears like a ghost into the close houses of los satnos ___________________________________________________________________ los santos old balla territory Daquan- damn man thas amazing kinda hard to believe Julio- i dont care wat you believe I only expect you to believe your eyes go to santa maria and go into building 467 and youll see Daquan- but come on man you just told me that you killed 40 diablos and you got shot a couple of times look its possible but your not tommy vercetti Julio- tommy who? Daquan- never mind look ill go to santa maria tonight and ill see what people have to say Julio- yeah what ever alright see you later G Daquan- aight piece julio walks away as does Daquan julio gets halfway across los santos close to his home in ganton when out of nowhere a big black van aproaches him julio doesnt notice until men in black suits come out julio- and who the f*ck are you supposed to ahh....... julio about to reach for his gun gets knocked out Julio wakes up in the van Julio- ahh my head dammit it hurts a woman ges near julio and talks to him woman- hello welcome to BCA julio- BC who julio- the only bc i know is before christ are you some crzy cristian that knocks people out to teach em about god woman - No were bca Blood Contract Agency were bassically a hitman agency julio- is that lik the government woman- know you dumbass were hired assasin's people who are highly paid julio- how much woman-well you could get paid $100,000 julio- $100,000!!!!!! holy sh*t sign me up wait why me how do i know this aint a trick woman- every person who wants some one dead knows us and we only hire top grade a assasins 14 days ao you single handidly assisned 40 gang members we could use some one like you at our agency, look just take some missions well supply you with top grade a weopons all you need to do is kill the target the client wants and you get paid its simple but you may need to shave your hair and wear suits from now on julio- wat nuh uh no way am i shaving off my hair or wearing a raggedy ass suit women - look it will all be worth it once you get a taste of the money just try it and if women-you dont like it well never show up again julio- if i dont wanna join how do i know you wont kill me women- please if the FBI can find us what makes you think that your a threat to us only if you wanted to find us that is julio thinks julio- ok i got nothin to lose can i tell people women- no you may keep contacts with people but your information will be highly classified julio- ok so whens my first job women- well seeing that you already have the stealth and skills im gonna have you set up with the biggest hit ever to hit our agency here call this number when he answers say bca and the client will tell you the target and you decide what price you want him to pay and we take 30% well send your supplies tommorow heres your cell julio gets out of the van and walks into his home he uses his new cell phone and calls the number ring ring man- hello who is this julio- bca man- ok thank god ok man listen im guessing you should do this tommorow first what do i pay will 1 million dollars do it julio-1 million dollars what kind of hit is this man-just tell me is the money ok julio- yeah its great tell me whats your name man - ken rosenburg julio- ok ken now tell me who is the target ken looks around to see noody is hearing ken- ok he made my life a living hell i brought him here and now he treats me like sh*t im up to here with him i want him dead julio- WHO IS THE TARGET !! ken rosen burg again looks around to make sure no one is around Ken- his name is ......Tommy Vercetti end of chapter 1 well people come on give me feed back Edited November 5, 2006 by GtaGangsta Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted July 25, 2006 Author Share Posted July 25, 2006 come on guys please i need feed back i wanna know what people think please post your comments Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xygtaxy Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 hahahahahahah, Dude, it was boring, you need to Move all the word and spred them apart, it is to hard to read it, and I lost intarce after the first few sentences. Look read My story Sunny Vice City. i am not saying your story is bad, It is a good start but, you need to add more charecter into it, more Life. If you want to read something very very very good, go read dark Liberty, Just so you can get a feel of how you want to make your story, and by the way you double posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted July 25, 2006 Author Share Posted July 25, 2006 thanks alot an ill try to put more character but thanks but it didnt suck right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xygtaxy Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 No, it didn't suck, it was just borring, That is why i am telling you to add more charecter to it, don't worry you'll get there eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted July 25, 2006 Author Share Posted July 25, 2006 thanks ill get more character into it next chapter i mean next chap is exciting cause who know what happens to vercetti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xygtaxy Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 Yeah, good luck! And I know your next chapter is going to be awesome, as long as you put your time into it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted July 25, 2006 Author Share Posted July 25, 2006 Thanks man ill get started pretty soon and yeah ill put my time into it i took 2 hrs on this story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xygtaxy Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 Okay, Chapters 3 and 4 are out now if you want to see the reast so far Tommorow I will be realesing Chapters 5 and maybe 6. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[LCG]LazLoW Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 well, uhh, i seen a lot of spelling and grammar errors, that i can fix up for you. and yeah, it was pretty boring, you need to learn how to use punctuation well. Thats what really makes a good story. other than that, good start Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted July 25, 2006 Author Share Posted July 25, 2006 wel its some feed back dont wrry next chap will be exciting and yeah i guess i could use a lil help but only on spelling i was in a hurry so yeah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted July 26, 2006 Author Share Posted July 26, 2006 Here it is a Fresh New Chapter please leave comments A True Hitman Chapter 2 Mission 1 Getting ready for the Assasination Los Santos, Ganton 5:00 its 5:00 in the morning and Julio recievies a wake up call RING RING !!!! julio falls off his bedd julio -- ahh, dammit f*ckin phone julio angerily pick s up the phone julio- hello who the f*ck is this woman-- greetings julio julio-- oh you what the hell waking me up at 5:00 in da muthaf*ckin mornin woman- stop messing around shave your hair put on the suit agent 38 put on your bed and get your ass to los santos international you got a flight to vice city in an hour julio- vice city? why vice woman- you forget so quik your job dammit julio- oh the vercetti hit right right , ok yeah ill go woman- good boy buena fortuna julio julio- ........... what ever julio hangs up, and goes to the bathroom to... shave his hair julio- ok man here we go rrrrrreeerrrrreeerr julio takes a look in the mirror julio-............. AHHHHH MUTHER F*CKER SON OF A B*TCH NO MY BEAUTIFUL CORNROWED HAIR AWWWW MAN after the horrific incedent of shaving his hair making him look like a baboons ass he gets dressed in his black suit julio- havent i seen this suit before, it was on the guy burro was playin on the ps2 hit something oh well who cares time to go think of vercetti ..... wait vercetti daquan told meabout this guy said he was dangerous hmm oh well again who gives a sh*t julio gets a ride to the airport from daquan daquan- what the hell you goin to vice for julio- im going to kill some guy er i mean its highly classified er i mean im relaxing, WILL YOU JUST QUIT WITH THE QUESTIONS! daqaun- whatver man just becare ful for that vercetti guy he owns vice city julio- whatever man it takes more than 5 bullets to stop me daquan - how about six julio- not even , oh sh*t i gotta go cya later daquan daquan- catch you later homie julio gets to the plane right when it was just about to finish boarding julio- yo stop that plane i need to get on airport person- your onna have to choose sir there is only one seat left for this pregnant woman to go to vice to see her husband that got back from war or you that can take a plane in he next 4 hours julio- im srry mam.... julio looks at pregnat woman julio- mam you can go..... on the next plane cause my sh*t is more important than your sh*t pregnant woman- but julio- no buts just sit you but on the seat and rest your feet and wait 4 hours and ride first classs cause if you go now ill put a cap in yo ass pregnant lady- that was cheezy julio- not as bad as how yo babys gonna come out pregnant lady- why i odda julio- gotta go julio boards the plane julio wispers to himself- next stop vice city Vice City , Escobar InterNational Airport 10:00 am julio falls asleep. 4 hours later they arrive in vice julio wakes up t the landing as soon as people are aloud to leave he goes out of the airport where agent 40 is waiting in a car julio - is this my ride from bca agent 40- thas right here get in agent 40 rides to starfish island and stops at the entrance agent 40- ok here it is julio- vercetti lives on this island!!! agent 40- your stupid why did they hire you uh well anyways look he lives at that mansion here are your weopons to laser pointes colt pythons with 2 series 2 silencers and a jacket full of clips and each clips is about 8 inches long so the bullets should last you some time and a concelable smg tactile with capacity of two clips precision aiming laser and series 3 silencer, some coins , fiber wire, and syringe poison, and a syringe sedative good luck and remember BCA julio- right before christ agent 40- uhhh you better stop joking julio takes the weopons and arms him self then walks up to Vercetti estate and is about to begin his job julio- your done vercetii. ok les do this splinter cell style end of chapter 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xygtaxy Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 it's good. it's better then your first one. Needs spelling corrections and more puncuation. It's definitelly better then your 1st chapter. Don't tll me, they gunna go kill Tommy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted July 26, 2006 Author Share Posted July 26, 2006 hey trust me its whate ever it is its gonna be good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted July 26, 2006 Author Share Posted July 26, 2006 Well people chapter 3 will be coming soon and its will be good its gonna have a lot of twists and turns and chapter 1 has been updated so now its easy to read Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xygtaxy Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Yay, I can't wait for your next chapter, I am probally the fastest updater, as you'v noticed I update a new chapter every hour, for some people it takes months lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted July 26, 2006 Author Share Posted July 26, 2006 lol i know but i guess it s becuase we've got the writers magic lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xygtaxy Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Definitelly. Only this is Chapter Nine of my story make take a few days to come or maybe a week. As I do not have the time to make A chapter 9 and release it so it may take awhile. But I promise you Chapter 9 will be the best chapter so far in my story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted July 26, 2006 Author Share Posted July 26, 2006 well thas good im gonna take some good thought on chap 3 lol good luck on chap 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 A True Hitman {BCA} Mission 1 Me my Gunand Vercetti Starfish Island, Vice City 10:30 am Picking up where Julio left off he was just about to begin his mission Julio- ok les do this splinter cell style julio spots a delivery guy delivering flowers too mr vercetti , julio immediatly walks pass him and pulls out his fiber wire then he slowly and stealthly walks up to the delivery guy julio- got you mutherf*cker julio then puts on the delivery man clothes and puts his original clothes in his ants julio- they will just think im big ha ha ha then julio thinks of some place to hide the body then he spots a garbage truck, then he reaches in his pockets and pulls out a coin and thows it near the garbage man and the garbage man goes near the sound imeadiatly julio picks up the body and puts it on the back of the garbage truck and covers some bags on the body and goes back to the walls of he vercetti estate julio- hm they might check me to make sure i got no weopons julio then throws his weopons over the wall and goes up to the gate guard- hold on thier pal i need to check you the guard passes the metal detector around julio it doesnt triger guard- ok your good go ahead........... spic julio gets extremley angry, julio whispers to himself Julio- ill take care of you later yah f*ckin cracker julio goes and retrieves his weopons then he walks up the estate goes up to one of the maids and says i got some flowers for mr. vercetti maid - oh ill take them julio- here you go As soon as the maid leaves the room julio immediatly sedates a guard swites clothes and puts the delivery clothes on the guard then he puts him on the bar room , then julio pours some liqour all over the guards body then sets it on fire all the guards see the smoke and tell Tommy Vercetti to stay in his room and lock the door the guard go chek out the fire while julio runs up the stairs and sees there are two guards guarding the door julio pulls out his silenced colt python an shoots both guards julio hits one but the other runs because he realizes who hess messin with but julio catches him and throws him over the rail and makes it look like a accident then he lifts the other guards body and throws him out a window julio- dammit that took some time a guard is coming up and julio plays like hes beens shot guard - oh my god are you okay julio- not really this guy shot me and the other guards but he looked like a delivery guy then i through my lighter at him and the other guard that fell of the railing shot the lighter and i heard an explosion guard- oh so thats why that guy was burning huh oh well need help? julio- no im good ill go tell mr. vercetti guard- ok ill wait here julio walks toward vercettis door but he does a 360* degree turn and head buts the guard and shoots him he goes up to the door and he sees tommy vercetti tommy- what the hell happened out there!! tell me now julio- well some punk fake delivery guy broke in and shoot three guard but some how he caught on fire one guard before he died told me his friend through a lighter at the delivery guy and then he shot it but because of the shots he died tommy- dam this is very sad but what kind of asshole would send a hitman to get me whoever it was must be stupid be cause i cannot be touched at all im the best and no dumbass hitman can stop me julio- well some people just try to take a shot at the best but when they mess they lay down to rest tommy- hey thats a good ryhme kid well i want you to find out who did this and ill give you $300,000 julio- what if told you i know who did it tommy- what? your not a guard are you julio- yes but that doesnt change the fact that i might know tommy- ok tommy gets $300,000 out of his safe and puts in a suit case then hands it to julio tommy- there ya go, no ive had hundreds of hitman trying to kill me who is the personwho hired these hitmen julio- look at your security cameras tommy turns around looks at his cameras but as soon as he realizes there nothing the the lights go out tommy- you son of a b*tch you dumb ass it was you wasnt it julio manged to get behind tommy then julio he pulls out the syringe sedative then julio slowly creeps up on tommy then hits him in the neck with the syringe and injects the sedative tommy- errrrr you f*cker uhh ahhhrrrrrrrrrr.............. julio- thats right go down tommy go down in the dark room julio stand ver tommys body he takes his body shoot the window of the room and notices there is a pool at the bottom and it is labeled 15ft julio- that looks convincing julio throws vercettis body at the pool then grabs his money caes and throws it at the floor luckily it didnt beak just got massive dents. guard- hello open that door whos in their? hello open up now!!!!!!!!!!!\ julio - sh*t gotta go julio jumps out of the window and lands in the pool then he swims over to vercettis body and drags it by swimmingover to the stairs of the pool then julio gets the body out of the pool and sees that a sea sparrow is in the yard julio- hmm i 've seen people fly on movies this will be easy julio carrys vercettis body and sticks it into the sea sparrow then julio gets in and turns it on by swithcing buttons julio- ok lets raise this hand bar and .. the heliopter starts rising and moves foward julio- ok now to rosenburghs place Prawn Island Abandoned Building 1:00 pm Julio gently lands the heli and rosenburgh heres the heli and rushes to the building roof and sees julio and tommy vercettis body. julio turns off the heli and carrys tommys body and drops near ken ken- oh my god i cant believe it!!! you you you ..you did wat 75 men couldnt you killed Thomas Vercetti julio- ok wheres my money ken- right your money well here it is i cant thank you enough im just sill in shock YOU KILLED TOMMY VERCETTI!!!!!!!!! ken hands julio two suit cases filled with $500,00 dollars each making one million dollars makin 1 million dollars and with the other case that makes $1,300,000 julio- thanks alot ken but theres something i got to take care of ken- what julio- you julio takes out his colt pyhton and aims it at ken julio-dont move julio thens takes out his other colt and throw it near vercettis body and then vercetti starts to wake up and gets the gun then gets up and aims it at julio tommy- guard lower you gun and leave ken alone and tell me who you are julio- you wanted to know who was the person who wanted you dead there he is tommy- what!!? ken- f*ck i thought you said you killed him julio- did i kill him do you think i would kill my mentor besides syringe sedatives dont kill people just knock em out temporarily tommy- julio? is that you julio- hello Tommy ken- you know him julio- Yes he was there when my parents abondoned me hes been my father because he took me in and taught me everything i knew my skills everything how do you think i can survive all these shot my mentor taught me i can survive being shot and now im unstoppable tommy- julio its good to see you againcome on lets have lunch but first julio and tommy shoot rosenburgh multiple times then they board the heli and ride back to vercetti estate Vercetti Estate, Vice City 2:00 Tommy and julio arrive in front of the estate and julio immediatlly gets out tommy- julio what are you doin julio- hold on i got to take care of some thing julio runs up to the guard who called him a spic and took out his smg tactile and shoved it in the guards face julio- YOU f*ckED YOUR SELF YOU FUUCKIN CRAKER IM GONNA KILL YOUR WHOLE f*ckIN FAMILY BUT FIRST ILL START WITH YOU guard- im srry please no please no julio- SHUT THE F*CK UP JULIO ANGRILY SHOOT THE SH*T OUT OF THE GUARD the rest of the guards aim at julio tommy- stop aiming at my guest you bastards the guards stop aiming at julio and apoligise then return at to their positions tommy- its good to see you come on lets go inside ad eat julio- thanks tommy lets go i got a lot to tell julio and tommy go inside they sit down and the lights go out BANG BANG BANG shot are heard end of chapter 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 srry for the double post but what do you guys think of my story is chap 3 good did you guys like it or not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted July 28, 2006 Author Share Posted July 28, 2006 so what do you guys think of my new chapter like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted November 3, 2006 Author Share Posted November 3, 2006 (edited) Now Time For Another Delicous Chapter What were the shots from find out on this Chapter o f A True Hitman BCA A True Hitman {BCA} Chapter 4 EL ASSESINO As tommy and julio go inside for a drink the lights go off and three shots are heard a man shot tommy 3 times in the leg!! and is now running for his life. Julio rushes to catch up with the man, the man gets in his car and is peeling away. He looks in his rear view mirror and thought he saw julio on the trunk. the man keeps riding Julio- TAKE THIS MARICON Julio crashes through the back window of the car and ties his arm around the mans neck ans starts chokin as hard as he can the man-nobody messes wih el assesino and gets away with it Assesino grabs his swiss swat blade and jabs it through his seat and its pierces julio's thigh then he twists the blade making a painful stab. Julio-AHHHHHHHHHH SH*T Julio falls back assesino slams on brakes forcing julio to hit the front of the car SLAM julios head hits the seat hard .julio holding his thigh and his head in pain and bleeding, he muffles words through his deep breaths Julio- wh..wh.. who are you The Assassin- Im the Assassin im the most highly paid and most dangerous hitman in United States and maybe the world more than youll ever be Julio. Julio- how do you know my name assassin- every body knows the notorius julio the man who single handedly slaughtered 40 Diablo gang members, wh else would BCA hire you. Julio- (starts to get angry, and suspicous that bca sold him out) How the f*ck do you know i work for bca. Assasin- I never said I knew , you just told me what i guessed was right Julio- you ass hole Assasin- My Agency has been at war with yours for years , now that i have you i can eliminate you. Now if youll excuse me i must complete my mission for the client Julio lie almost dead from the jab Assasin takes pulse assasin- *smirks* huh hes dead The Assasin parks the car at a parking lot and dumps julios body at a garbage can Assasin- some big assasin my ass. NOW FOR VERCETTI! Starfish Island time unknown vercetti mansion Guards circle vercettis room as he is being treated guard- god mr. Vercetti are you all right Vercetti- no ho the f*ck do you think i feel cause you dickheads werent watchin i got shot nice job Guard- mr. vercettti we didnt know he slipped throught, but your friend was hangin on to the trunk maybe he got him Vercetti- god julio what happened to you guard- im sure hes alright Vercetti- Yeah right. com on people comments PLEASE Edited November 3, 2006 by GtaGangsta Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted November 4, 2006 Author Share Posted November 4, 2006 A new Chapter Right out the Bakery A True Hitman {BCA} Chapter 5 Make Sure What is Dead stays Dead Downtown, Vice city, parking lot , Garbage can Julios body is lying in the garbage can with two stab wounds on in the thigh and the other in the chest............julios body starts to move!!! Julio WAKES UP!.... in pain. Julio- OWWWWWWWW sh*t that hurt like a muthaF*cka Julio checks his wounds and then.......Pulls a syringe sedative out of his leg Julio- assesino might be "sarcastic" a good hitman (yeah right) but he sure doesnt check what he kills . when he stabbed me he didnt notice i knocked my self out by injecting my self with syringe sedative, meaning it would slow down my heart beat and make it weak and beat slowly but still function enought to stay alive and then i woke up in a garbage can sh*t. .... I need to take a shower and ..OH sh*t TOMMY. julio rushes to a banshee parked near a pimp pimp- you got it ladies i got what you need all the money just a littl cut for dady Kane ok Ladies-You gott it daddy kane pimp - right-o my ladies..... hey ese what the f*ck are you doing with my car you punk bitch. julio- shut up and run with you little hoes and make lil money pimp- oh you done do it now boi The Pimp takes out a gun and is only is able to shoot julio once in the arm . Julio doesnt even feel it.. Julio Grabs the pimps head and smashes it on the wall then he puts his head on te side walk pulls his arms back and steps on his head and pulls hard pimp- AHHHHHHH CraCk the pimps head goes open and his arms dislocate Julio takes out his colts and shoots the pimps ladies Julio- YOU F*CK WITH ME YOU F*CKIN WITH BEST Julio takes the red banshee and SPEEDS to the vercetti mansion Vercetti Mansion starfish island 5:01 Assesino parks his car near the mansion. He takes out to 2 silenced 45 Caliber Ballers . and just runs up to the wall and jumps on top of a garbage truck and jums over the gate he immidiatly sedates a guard and changes clothes, then he takes out his baby a concealable 4 part with drum barrel silenced m60 with scope laser sight two hand bars and a light weight butt stock creating a MEAN GUN WITH 100 bullets per mag (drum barrel). Assesino- ok vercetti you dumb ass im here to assinate you Tommy looks in his cameras and sees a banshe speeding through his drive way assesino spots it too but doesnt know who is inside. Tommy rushes outside with a standard M16 and guards beide him he rushes to julio tommy- JULIO!(he screams) Sh*t are you ok what Happened did you kil the bastard Julio- im fin im fine ok look we gotta get you inside a room let NO ONE IN YOU HEAR ME THIS GUY IS EXTREMLY DANGEROUS hes here i know it ill take care of him dont wrry you just stay safe and get the strngest gun you own and hide with at least 20 guards in a room ok Tommy- ok i got a mingun but wat about you you got nothing if this guy is as dangeros as you say he is then what are you gonna carry julio- i got something alrigh dont wrry Julios runs upstairs in the house and reaches into his suit case and pulls out HIS CUSTOMIZED AK47 julio- ok baby lets go to work tommy rushes in room with minigun tommy-julio look i can take him im TOMMY VERCETTI I CAN KILL ANYONE IM UNTOCHABLE nobody can kill me only natural causes if it tries hard enought that is Julio- tommy please believe me this guy is no joke tommy- (starts to get pissed and screams )Julio I CAN TAKE HIM I CANNOT BE TOUCHED!!! JUlio (screams) HE ALMOST KILLED ME DAMMIT. i dont want him t kill you let me take him tommy- (calms down).............. fine julio just be careful son Julio- sure will Tommy Tommy Hides in a Room wit 17 guards the other guards are not found Tommy locks the door and sits in his chair watching tv. Knock Knock Knock knock A GUARD SLAMS ON THE DOOR Guard-Tommy tommy open the f*cking door tommy F*ck Tommy Sh*t hes coming he sluaghetered the guards big gunTOMMY Tommy Tommy tom... BRRRATT BRRRATtt BraaaTT Brrat guard-ahh oohh ewwwaa sh*t f*ck you, you assasin guards body lies on the floor Assesino- Tommy come out come out where ever you are tommy inside room- call reinforcements guard- phones are dead boss tommy-sh*t Assesino is shot the door open. HE SHOWS No MErcy AND HE SHOOTS LIKE CRAZY he burn his hand from ll the shooting and gets shot at leat 5 times on te leg all but 5 guards left assesino- *laughs* wow look what a hundred bullets can do , shoots the rest of gards leaving tommy assesino reloads Tommy tries to shoot with minigun but no bullets come out Assesino- oh did i tamper with your gun srry tommy well tommy say hi to your mom for me while your in hell Tommy- Shoot me mutherf*cker son of a bitch Assesino- Will do then ...PrRRRRBRAtTTPRR PSSHH.. AHH F*CK SON OF A BITCH sh*t my f*kin hand assesino- AHHH F*CK SH*T Assesino drops gun and falls Julio takes his gun and throws it over to tommy Jullio- hey retard you forgot to make sure i was dead well im back for your sorry ass assesino takes out a .45 baller and shoots julio direclty at his stab julio-AHHHHHH SCREAMS RUN THROUGHT THE MANSION tommy tries to use the m60 but the asssin uses button and the m60 starts beeping tommy throws the gun and it explodes ut the impact sends him flying and knocks him into a deep sleep Julio grabs assesino and starts punching him but assesino is just as strong as julio punches keep flying until julio grabs assesino by the clothes head buts him 7 times and throws him off the railing and lands on a big pool like fountain. Assesino gets up woozy pick up his gun and shoots jlio who rolls down the stairs but gets up and is able to stab asseino on the ankles hollow bone. julio- think that belongs to you assesino- OWWWWW F*ck Assesino immediatly pulls it out kicks julio on the head wtih his other foot and shoots but misses he limps for the exit he drops a remote bomb and detonates it and jumps in a car window and how wires it julio runs for exit but the bomb explodes and the debris hit julios ow sh*t responds julio. Assesino looks back and screams out the window well played julio but now i have to kill you what ever means neccasary and tommy. the client will get his wish julio- is woozed up and feels high and then gets up and runs to the car but realizes hes out of luck he finds a paper Assesino might have dropped it reads "Dear Assesino a client by the name of Joey leone is putting two million dollars for the murder of Thomas vercett a Drug Barron in Florida becareful e is used to having hitmen kill him so be smart at what you do another danger besides the target is BCA we think that they are planning a hit too so if you a suspicous person it could be BCA scum kill them immediatly but be precautious i have heard tat they have got a new weopon this year the notorius gang slayer by the name of Julio. good Luck Agent 40 best of luck UCA United Contract Agency" Julio- Now to find Joey Leone So What do you guys think huh like the chapter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted January 19, 2007 Author Share Posted January 19, 2007 fresh new chapter right out the bakery A True Hitman {BCA} Chapter 6 Ciao Paradise Tommy is in his office feeling horrible and shot up and feels his whole house looks like sh*t (shots every where) he gets up and limps down stairs and finds julio sitting on the steps. Tommy- Julio, julio, whats the matter you ok julio- nah man he got away, the bitch got away that asshole Tommy- julio julio dont kill yourself over it listen hell be back and well be ready dont worry. we just gotta be more prepared but you did good kid so dont wrry julio-................hey tommy..... do you know a joey leone tommy- joey leonethat peice of sh*t whos father i got killed julio- wait joey leone, leone i recognize that last name the leone mafia arent those the muthaf*ckas who got real big but went into thier down fall because some guy capped their don sally something tommy- salvatore not just any guy julio me i killed salvatore julio- uh no some punk killed him he sniped him from across the street tommy- listen that punk is one dangerous m*therf*cker with alot of skill i heard he f*cked liberty city....... hes bad, not as bad as me .....but hes bad yeah . anyways yeah that punk did shoot salvatore but he only grazed his neck so salvatore was just knocked from the impact everybody thought he was dead but they were wrong he ended up laying low for a long time then . when i heard he was alive i was like oh sh*t good for him but then there was talk of him coming t o vice to take over....... i couldnt have that so this is what happened _________________________________________________________________ Outside Escobar International 10:00 am Tommy is wating with his guards outside the airport . Salvatore comes out with 10 guards surrounding him and joey leone b his side Salvatore- son i want nothing but good things for you so when i die and if im murdered i want you to become don not tony hes not ready. Well if im murdered i want you to find the bastard who did it and kill his ass dont worry about consequences just worry about avenging tu papas death okay joey joey- yes pop dont worry about it if anybody touches you ill have their skin fed to the dogs their organgs fed to the cats and his intestines fed at the sausage shop *joey laughs* Salvatore- eh thats my boy *hugs joey* now joey remember if you are the don of the leones you stop at nothing okay the leones will rule all of liberty san andreas and vice we stop at nothing do youe hear me joey- loud and clear pops oh and maria came back she says she wants to see you Salvatore- MARIA THAT CRAZY BITCH IS WHERE IM GONNA f*ck THAT WHORE UP joey- pops no remember that guy she waswith claude well he fell into her trap and maria called this assasin she knows hes real good and the shmuck acctually got him and somehow knocked him out brought him to my auto shop and left him there tied to a chain from his hands to one car and a chain to his feet to another car so when i accelarate one car claude will be cut in half real nice and his death will be slow i left hime there pop so when we get back to lc youll be in one car and ill be in the other and me and you will make him wish he never screwed with us pop Salvatore- eh thats my boy and lets thank maria too eh eh joey this is by far the best thing youve done for me now when we get back to lc well torture him like the little sh*t he is eh come on lets go to the hotel *salvatore is stopped in the middle of the parking lot by a wave of gang members* Ssalvatore- what the f*ck is this the guards aim thier guns at the gang members tommy appears Tommy- so salvatore i hear that your coming in to my town and i wanted to give you a proper welcome salvatore- who are you tommy- me im tommy vercetti run this town and you i know who you are a know good motherf*cker who wants to try to take over my city is that right salvaotre- hey buddy dont get fresh with me im powerful im untouchable and i could easily.. tommy- *calmy says*... fire tommys guard shoot every guard there the guards go down and tommy sees that only salvatore and joey are left salvatore fell on his ass and is sitting there looking like a baby salvatore- ahh ahhhhhh you you do you have any idea what i could do to you your gonna pay thomas you will tommy grabs his stubby shot gun and puts it on salvatores head the guards grab joey and tie him up and joey is facing his father tommy- sorry salvatore but this is my town and no one is taking it away from me is that clear salvatore spits in tommys face tommy................pulls the trigger............you could imagine the impact a stubby shot gun would have left on that elderly mans face it was truly a horrible sight for even tommy tunred away the first few seconds joeys eyes widened ans a teear drop but then his sorrow immediatily turned to anger! joey breaks the rope andrealizes he outnumbered so he uses his adrenaline to make a break for it he runs and is shot in the arm and leg several times but he mages to escape and hide in a garbage can. tommy- that punk ass is lucky he got away i would have blown his face off too.... some on guys lets go tommy packs up and leaves back to starfish island _________________________________________________________________ starfish island tommy- now you know what really happened julio julio- tommy .... i .... YOU ARRE ON SICK MOTHER F*CKER I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU BLEW HIS HEAD CLEAN OFF JESUS tommy- hey ididnt know that was gonna happen julio- so letme guess joey got pissed and sent el assesino for you tommy- i guess so julio- yeah well tommy julio*skakes tommys hand tommy- what julio- im going to lc tommy- WHAT for what julio- gonna kill me a don and the worlds second best hitman tommy think tommy- watch your self julio theres some sick sh*t in lc julio- cracker please im from los santos tommy- shut the f*ck up and get to the airport *tommy laughs* its been good seeing you julio hopefully you wont get murdered and well have some beer or something at the malibu julio- yeah tommy julio goes to the airport Escobar international julio get to the ticket booth julio- on ticket to liberty city please airport employee- here you go that will be $500 julio- here you go thank you ma'am airport employee- no thank you julio- is about to board his plane when he runs into the pregnant woman from the los santos airport woman- YOU!! julio- BiTch! mean you julio sees she is carrying a baby julio- see you went into labor at the airport you should be thanking me that baby would be wierd if on his birth certificate it said born in the air parts unknown woman- you know youve got a lot of nerve i ever met julio- puts $100 in the womans mouth tell her "get a life" and walks away woman- uh thanks? julio boards the plane and sits back and relaxes julio- has anger in his eyes and says to himself julio- you just f*cked your self assasin im gonna find you and joey leone andim gonna blow your heads open with my ak you f*ckin cock-a-roach . the plane takes off and is on it way to Liberty City. end of chapter 6 so come on feed back good chapter or not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 This story is crap. I don't usually say that, but Jesus, just stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 Well, I would usually say "You asshole at least im trying" or diss you. But I asked for criticism and I got it, I respect your opinion and if you think this story is crap well your entitled to your opinion and if thats the way you feel about my story than by all means criticize away, I have plenty of fans of A True Hitman on other sites so one person that doesnt like it well thats their choice, if you like it you like it and if you hate it you hate it. But i will not stop writing because you told me my story was rubbish. My fans love the story maybe not on here but on other sites they do I have gotten plenty of pms of good critisism, and they want me to continue the story so I will. Now I just want to know what you want me to improve im pretty sure its the grammar which i will improve (but my keyboards been broke thats why my writing sucks and also I write to fast to care lol), or is it just the story it self a bad story line what, cause I would like to know what I need to improve. Now take a minute to answer that and I will go write another chapter of A True Hitman {BCA} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Well, I would usually say "You asshole at least im trying" or diss you. But I asked for criticism and I got it, I respect your opinion and if you think this story is crap well your entitled to your opinion and if thats the way you feel about my story than by all means criticize away, I have plenty of fans of A True Hitman on other sites so one person that doesnt like it well thats their choice, if you like it you like it and if you hate it you hate it. But i will not stop writing because you told me my story was rubbish. My fans love the story maybe not on here but on other sites they do I have gotten plenty of pms of good critisism, and they want me to continue the story so I will. Now I just want to know what you want me to improve im pretty sure its the grammar which i will improve (but my keyboards been broke thats why my writing sucks and also I write to fast to care lol), or is it just the story it self a bad story line what, cause I would like to know what I need to improve. Now take a minute to answer that and I will go write another chapter of A True Hitman {BCA} Just the idiotic way the characters are behaving. The stupid lines like the "Cock-a-roach" bit. It was funny in Scarface. It isn't funny anywhere else, especially when you emphasize it so badly. If you have fans elsewhere, good for you, they have never read an actual decent story then I guess. Link me to the websites where you have these so called fans who appreciate it, and I doubt anyone is still reading it here, so why continue? It's just taking up needed space for other, more creative and better writers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 Oww... well if you are a good writer good for you the way these characters act are because im giving them a personality Julio is a very strong guy that and is a bad ass as you see and the only person i could think of was scarface so i used him. And like i said i may not be a good writer but its my first story so yeah. I read your story its good mate. But like i said people here have posted many chapters and have not gotten recognition but they did after a couple of chapters so i will continue my story and it will get better along the way. but give me your honest opinion you think this story could pick up along the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 You've been posting this for months and you've had one good reply. Your story is the second in history (as far as I recall) that has got a red star. I think it's time you called it quits, bud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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