Maddok Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 (edited) Bad Deal Chapter 1 Beat down August 19, 1996 Los Santos, San Andreas 11:23 PM Manny Medrano was a cool slick man; although, he lived in the projects in a crappy neighborhood, in a crappy town, in a crappy city of San Andreas. He had no friends and no family left, His father died while he was at the age of five. His mother was a junky and died of a drug overdose when Manny was twelve. With no one else to care for him he taught himself how to live out in the streets. By the time he was fifteen he killed a man. Had taken his life It felt good that he had taken someone’s life. Later in his life when he was eighteen, he was brought up into drugs. He took and sold them, making money and wanting more. One day in an alley he talked to a dealer about buying some drugs. “Gimme The White Pony and a Ice.” he said “140 dollars.” the drug dealer replied “140 dollars?! That ain’t gonna fly!” He exclaimed. Manny grabbed a wooden board and WAM wacked the drug dealer besides his head. Manny then grabbed the drugs and ran out of the alley to his car and sped off. “Err...err, that mutha f*cka’s...DEAD!” the drug dealer said. In a Parking lot 12:34 AM... Manny was in a parking lot smoking Ice, and chillin' All of a sudden a car parked behind him with four gang bangers coming out with melee weapons. They all surrounded his car and looked in the windows. "Come out now." one said "Hold on let me finish up." Manny said, As he finished up he looked at the gang banger besides his door then...SMASH, Manny kicked the door open, thus knocking the gang banger. Manny jumped out of his car with a crow bar besides him and smashed the two other gang bangers heads in. He looked at the last gang banger standing. "I dare you to come at me." Manny said the gang banger starts walking backwards, then ran away. "Piece of sh*t." Manny said "These boys are wearin' purple clothes, they must've ran for the Ballas, I heard that they're comin' back in town again. Manny slowly walked out to his car then sped off. Across the street was the same gang banger, inside a telephone booth watching Manny leave. The gang banger called the , which was the dealer, counting his money. “Yeah” the Dealer said “H-hey boss.” the gang banger mumbled “What you want nigga?” He asked “It’s about that guy, he still alive.” the gang banger said “A’ight nigga, Now listen the f*ck up. I want you to find him, cap him, or you’ll be eating grits through a tube.” The Dealer angrily hung up the phone. And continued counting his money. “Time for that mutha f*cka to DIE.” He said Edited July 30, 2006 by Maddok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dre1218us Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I'm likin so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moth Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 pretty good story man Formerly known as The General Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted July 15, 2006 Author Share Posted July 15, 2006 (edited) Chapter 2 A Girl August 20th, 1996 Los Santos, San Andreas The Next Day 10:32 AM... bang bang bang Early in the morning Manny was sleeping on his couch. A loud banging sound on his door woke him up. He slowly got himself up and started towards the door. As he was about to open it he suddenly paused, He got suspicious of why would someone bother him in the morning. He quietly and slowly walked to another hole that he made to see who it was from their side. He saw that it was two armed gang bangers outside of his apartment. "Oh sh!t." He said to himself He walked to the couch to grab a knife that was over it. But he certainly can't take on two guys with GUNS by himself with a knife. So he grabbed crowbar that was sitting behind his furnace for quite a while. He then walked to the door, unlocked it, hid behind to where it would open and let the two gang bangers in. After the second gang banger entered. WAAM Manny kicked the door closed hitting the second gang banger in the door. THWAP WAM Manny hit the first gang banger with the crow bar to his legs, then Manny slashed the gang bangers throat wide open, whilst spearding blood all around the floor. Manny went to the second gang banger, picked him up then...WWWAAAAAMM Manny gave the second gang banger a massive head butt, whilst cracking open his head. Manny then stabbed the gang banger numerous times in his chest. "F*cking peices of sh*t." He said He then walked out of his apartment and headed towards the stairs. He looked down to the bottum floor and noticed that there was another set of gang bangers down there too. "F*ck, what am I gonna do?" He said to himself He suddenly had an idea. He remembered that he can escape through his apartment window. Manny went back to his apartment, to his window and tried to open it. "What the f*ck...Why won't my damn window open? I remember now, I lost my key three weeks ago." He said Manny looked all around his apartment looking for his key. But found nothing. He decided to look under the door mat... "AH HA I found it... hey wait...Thats not my key, It's a f*ckin' bug." Manny threw down the bug then squished it. He then decided to look under his couch. "Ok NOW I found my key, oooooh and a quarter too." He said Manny unlocked his window and climbed out. "Snnnnnnnnfffffffff ahhhhhhhhhhh. The Sweet smell of pollution." Manny said He saw a ladder a few feet from him, and jumped to it. He then climbed down and landed in an alley. "SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP!!!" someone yelled Manny looked behind him and saw a woman about to be raped! "HEY YOU!" Manny yelled out The man tried to run but he was in a dead end. Manny just walked towards the guy and stared at him for about a minute. "H-hey look man, let me go and I'll be on my way." the man mumbled "Not a chance." Manny replied Manny slowly put up his fists then... THWAP SWISH WAM WAAAAAM...ptuh Manny took down the man with only a few punches, then spat on his face. Manny then helped the woman up. The woman cried and covered herself leaning on Manny shoulder. "Thank you...thank you-u-u-u." she cried "Hey hey it's ok, I got him for you." Manny said Manny walked her out of the alley. "So where do you live?" Manny asked "A few blocks from here." she replied "Why would you be all the way over in this area?" He asked "I don't know." she said "So whats your name?" Manny asked "I'm Alissa Brooks whats yours?" Alissa replied "My name is Manny Medrano." Manny replied Manny continued walking with Alissa, keeping her safe. As they got near Angelina's place. "So give me a call or pick me up sometime Manny, we can get together and do something. It's what I can do to repay you." Alissa said "Ok cool I'll do that." Manny replied Manny started to walk away back to his apartment. He was just a few yards away outside of his apartment building. As he was about to enter, 6 gang bangers walked out walking towards Manny and surrounding him. "We gonna f*ck you up nigga." a gang banger said "Yeah f*ck him up." another said "We gonna make you bleed" another said "C'mon then you b*tches, come at me." Manny said Edited July 15, 2006 by Maddok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted July 21, 2006 Author Share Posted July 21, 2006 (edited) Chapter 3 Fight Fight Fight! August 20th, 1996 Los Santos, San Andreas Afternoon 12:19 “RAHHHHHHHH!!!” A gang banger ran towards Manny, SWISH, Manny ducked under the gang banger and...WAM punched the gang banger in his balls, “AHHHHHHHH” the gang banger yelled. Two more went after Manny, one had a chain and threw it at Manny, he caught it and...BAM hit the gang banger up side his head. The other gang banger had a piece of wood and almost hit Manny. Manny then pushed the wood against the gang bangers throat, thus choking him. Another two more gang bangers ran towards Manny. Both having switch blades, and both came at Manny. Manny jumped up and kicked both of the gang bangers back and landed on his back. “Ahhhhh ssshhh*t.” Manny said He got up and saw that there was one more gang banger, holding two hand guns. “H-hey man, You cant stop me, I’m OG Loc homie, OG Loc.” OG Loc said “OG Loc? More like OG Joke.” Manny replied “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” OG Loc yelled B-BANG B-BANG B-BANG Manny swiftly dodged the bullets, but suffered an arm wound. He then took the guns out of OG Loc’s hands and pointed them at his head. “Oh sh*t please don’t kill me man, I’ll tell you anything.” OG Loc cried “Ok, tell me where Ballas Is located and I might let you live.” Manny said “W-well you see, I’m not a VIP member to them. I’m just a goon for them. But please don’t kill me.” OG Loc “Tell me where their contacts are like, strip clubs, fight clubs, you know sh*t like that. Or instead of me shooting you in the head, I’ll shoot you in your balls.” Manny said “OH PLEASE NOT MY BALLS, ok I’ll tell you. A guy by the name of Dominick hangs out at the Pig Pen. Now please let me go.” OG Loc cried out BANG Manny shot OG Loc’s head. “f*cking wannabe gangsta.” Manny said. Manny walked up to his apartment, walked through the door, to his couch and plopped down. A few hours later... Manny woke up feeling all recharged noticing that his wound is healed up a bit. “Well time for another day of killing more gang bangers.” Manny said He picked up the phone and called Alissa. “Hello?” “Yeah its me, Manny” He said “Oh hi Manny, how are you?” she asked “I’m cool, you wanna go out later?” Manny asked “Yes I do, pick me up at 8:00 o’clock ok.” Alissa said “See yah then.” Manny said Manny hung up dressed into some new clothes and headed out of the apartment. He was outside and looked at his car. “F*ck, I can’t show up with a sh*tty car like this.” Manny said Manny saw an on coming car “Oooooooooh I like what I see.” Manny said Manny walked in front of the car, then shoved the guy out of if, and sped off. Nearly 8 o’ clock and Manny was right on time. Parked outside of her house, Alissa walked to his car and surprised to see what kind of car he has. “Nice car Manny.” she said “Thanks.” Manny replied “Lets go to Well Stacked Pizza” “Ok.” Alissa said While at Well Stacked Pizza’s... Alissa cried “Hey...whats wrong?” Manny asked “I got a call from my brother...He shot a couple people and is on the run from the police.” Alissa replied “Dammit I hate helping people.” Manny thought to himself “Ok I’ll help him. Wheres he at?” He said “Well he called me from the pig pen. His name is Dominick.” Alissa said “Ok I’ll go there.” Manny said Manny drove Alissa to her house he headed straight to the pig pen. “F*CK THE GUY IM LOOKING FOR IS ALISSA’S BROTHER, SH*T!” Manny said Comments on this chapter plz Edited July 30, 2006 by Maddok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GM Dude Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Good story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted July 30, 2006 Author Share Posted July 30, 2006 Chapter 4 Pig Pen That night at 9:24... Manny parked his car across the street of the Pig Pen. He took out a 9mm and put a silencer on it. "Yeah, just incase." He said He walked out of his car towards the Pig Pen also noticed an on coming patrol car parking, in the parking lot. "F*ck, I'm gonna have to do this quick." Manny said to himself He started to walk more faster, then entered the Pig Pen. He noticed that it was Hoe Mania up in there. "Oh yeah, I should come here more often hehehe." he said "F*ck, I dont know what this guy look like." He walked towards the bar, and to the bartender. "Eh, you seen a guy named Dominick around here?" Manny asked "YYYeah...He's right over there at the center with the LS cap on." Bartender replied Manny walked towards him and sat by him watching the Stripper dance. He gets close to Dominick. "Dominick, your in a whole deep sh*t right now." Manny said "And who the f*ck are you?" Dominick replied "Look behind you." Manny said Dominick looked behind himself, and had a sudden shock. "See those cops over there?" Manny said "Im the only one thats gonna help you get away from them. Now shut up and follow me." Manny and Dominick got up and slowley tried to walk out the back door. Dominick looked back at the cops and noticed that they were going for him. "HEY YOU, STOP!!!" One cop yelled Manny and Dominick ran outside to Manny car. "STOP DAMN YOU!!!" the other cop yelled Manny turned around and took out his silenced 9mm and shot the two cops. "Get in the car Dominick or you'll end up like the cops." Manny said Dominick quickly got inside the car and started. Manny got in and sped off. "Now look you, YOUR sister told me to save your sorry ass for her." Manny said "I also want to know of whats goin on with the Ballas comin back, and having more drugs then a cuban crack house." "O-ok but...How you know my little sis?" Dominick asked "Im her boyfriend ok, now talk." Manny said "Ok I am basically their money handler and drug shipment. I help ship drugs from Los Santos to San Fierro, Las Venturas, Liberty City, and Vice City. atleast 150k a week. Ballas also have contacts to people I only know one guy that has most info on what the Ballas is doin, they call him Incognito. Now my ASS IS GONNA BE BLOWN OFF, cause I just told you this sh*t." "I'll make sure you'll be kept safe...for a little while." Manny said "Now get the f*ck outta my car, got another date with your sister." Manny said Dominick left Manny's car and ran inside the house, Alissa also left the door and to Manny's car. "Where to?" Alissa asked "How about we go to a club" Manny replied Manny drove Alissa to a near by dance club, as Manny approached... "Anyways, I'd like to thank you for saving my older brother, I really appreciate it." Alissa said "It's all good, He just has to lay low for a little while though." Manny said Manny and Alissa walked inside the dance club and got their boogy on. After an hour or so, they stopped dancing and sat at the bar. "Hey barkeep, gimme some of your best sh*t." Manny said The bartender slid two of his best liqour to Manny and Alissa, they both drank their beer rather fast. "Two more over here." Manny said "Hehe, are you tryin to get me drunk?" Alissa asked "Haha nah just havin a good time girl" Manny replied After a while after drinkin and after dancing they eventually got tired, and they both started to the car. Manny and Alissa got inside the car and drove to Alissa's place. Upont their arrival... "You wanna come inside for a little bit of hot coffee?" Alissa asked "Isn't your brother home?" Manny asked "No, he has his own place." Alissa replied "Ok sure." Manny said Manny got inside of Alissa's house, noticed that she's not there. "Oh Manny." she said "I'm in the bedroom." Manny walked to the bedroom and noticed that Alissa was sitting on the bed. Manny then took of his shirt. "Gotta love San Andreas." Manny said Alissa got up and pushed Manny to the bed. Alissa slowley took of her blouse and walk got on bed with Manny. Manny then turned off the lights, and let nature do its work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted August 7, 2006 Author Share Posted August 7, 2006 Chapter 5 Incognito August 21st 1996 Late at night at 1:23 AM... After having a night of “Hot Coffee” with Alissa, they both rested. A black SUV truck slowly passes by the house one time. A minute later it parked right outside the house. 4 Ballas in all black with purple arm bands. “Alright niggaz, lets go ninja style up in this bitch.” One said The took out automatic weapons with laser pointers installed. WAM They kicked down the door and headed straight for the bedroom. Manny instantly woke up, “Move” He said, Manny pushed Alissa off the bed and got his gun. As the Ballas opened the door B-B-BANG Manny shot the first 2 then took their guns. The other two tried to run away... B-B-B-BANG but Manny shot the other two. The last one inside the truck sped off in fear. “Look like this sh*ts gettin’ real serious around here.” Manny said “Who the hell were they?!” Alissa asked “Just a bunch of f*ckers tryin’ to kill me, you know.” Manny replied Manny stayed awake that night and continued in the day. In the after noon somewhere in a Balla hide out... In the shadows of a Balla hide out building Incognito sits. He grinned evilly staring at the Ballas. “So...Whats goin’ on?” He said “Yeah, this cholo mutha f*cka shot down our boyz last night.” A Balla said “Well well well...I guess we’re going to have to do something about him, Now please leave me.” Incognito said As they walk out one Balla said “Why is this white pecker head our second in command anyway?” The Balla asked another BANG Incognito shot the Balla straight through his head. “I don’t want anyone talking behind my back. Now find this Mexican, and kill him.” Incognito said The other Ballas scattered out of that place in a hurry. “Hmmm...Maybe there is a way for me to lure.” Incognito thought to himself He jumped off his chair and grabbed the nearest Balla about to leave. “Listen to me, I want you to get you to lure that beaner to the Pig Pen, and bring him to me.” Incognito instructed the Balla The Balla went to the nearest Pay phone and called Alissa’s place. “Hello?” she asked “I want you to tell your friend to come to the Pig Pen.” The Balla said “The Pig Pen?! And who’s asking?” Alissa asked “It’s his friend of your brother.”the Balla said He hung up and got in his car and drove to the Pig Pen. Alissa called Manny and told him to go to the Pig Pen immediately. Manny drove to the Pig Pen a few minutes after. He walked outside the car and looked around. He saw that there were Ballas all outside. He slowly walked inside without nothing blowin out yet. He looked towards the back and saw a strange white man wearing Balla colors, but in a suit. “That must be Incognito.” He said to himself Incognito saw Manny too and walked in one of the back rooms. Manny followed him, He got his gun handy just incase something happens, then cautiously walked inside. “Awwww, you’re the one thats been giving us a bit of trouble. My names Incognito.” he said Incognito walked out of the shadows. “I know who you are.” Manny said “And you’re here to kill me, is that right?” Incognito asked “Yeah.” Manny replied “That is why I made this room with sound proofing so no one else would hear, and I made a few things with it.”Incognito said Incognito flipped a switch near him, revealing that the room is filled with obstacles. “Your weapon of choice is over to your right, by the couch over there on the table. Choose wisely.”Incognito said Incognito ran behind some obstables and waited for Manny. Manny walked towards the table, He grabbed 2 Desert Eagles, and grabbed some ammo to them. Right after Manny chose his weapons the lights instantly turned off. “What the f*ck?” Manny said “Hahaha, killing me is not going to be easy.”Incognito said at a distance B-B-B-B-B-B-BANG Incognito started shooting at Manny very quickly. Manny started firing back at Incognito. It was the fiercest gun battle you could imagine. Bullets flying everywhere, B-B-BANG...Manny finally hit Incognito. Incognito dragged himself to a near by chair. (Cough cough) “Heheheh, funny...I never thought you would hit me soon. Finally you hit me.”incognito said “Before you die tell me any info you got.” “Dominick should’ve told your more.” Incognito said Incognito continued bleeding and stopped breathing. “Dominick?! That mother f*cker, IM GONNA KILL’EM!” Manny yelled in anger Manny left to Alissa’s place. After Manny left Incognito got up. He ripped his suit open and took out a blood pack and showing that he had a bullet proof vest. “I told him, he can’t kill me that easy. Hahaha,hahaha,MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA...” comments on this chapter please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark-2007 Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 The first two chapters are a total rip from Jonny Rocketfingers 2, you should use your own work seeing as the rest of the story is decent apart from the stupid sound effects. But I gotta say why bother writing a story not all of it is yours? You even take some of the dialogue! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted August 10, 2006 Author Share Posted August 10, 2006 I'm sorry if my story resembles this John rocky fingers but this is my story its all original and im continuing. So in my own words, screw you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted August 12, 2006 Author Share Posted August 12, 2006 Ok there will be a new guy named Turwrakiun and for you guys out there that can't pronounce his name its, (Tur-Rock-Iun). I hope that helps you. Chapter 6 The Break Up August 22nd 1996 Back at the Main Balla Hide out at 7:36 Pm... "I'm sorry G-Ryde I failed in killing him." Incognito said "It's aight nigga, you did yo' best, but DONT let it happen AGAIN." G-Ryde said "I just had a thought," Incognito said "How about I contact Turwrakiun for you?" "Whats this mutha f*cka do?" G-Ryder asked "He's an extremely dangerous criminal, he knows all types of martial arts including Fists of Fury, he is a high level weapons technician, and a high leveled sniper. He's also good for silent kills too." Incognito replied "Hmmm this guy sounds good for us---" "But there is one thing though G-Ryde, Turwrakiun, is a little lost in the head. But it's ok I'll tell him not to kill any of our guys ok. I'll contact him." Incognito said "Aight now get lost I need to think about this Manny guy." G-Ryde said After the Ballas leave the hide out, Manny was on his way to Alissa's house angry. And as he arrived, he hopped out of his car and stormed inside Alissa's house, to her room. "WHERE THE f*ck IS HE!?" Manny yelled out "WHO Dominick?" Alissa replied "YEAH, I wanna ask him questions, and hurt him a little." Manny said "Well I dont know." Alissa said "DONT GIVE ME THAT BULL sh*t!!! WHERE IS HE AND TELL ME NOW!!!" Manny roared out "FINE, He lives 3 blocks away at 3rd house on the right." Alissa said "Oh and also, dont expect me to go out on any dates WITH YOU ANYMORE." "What ever." Manny said Manny ran out, to his car and sped off to Dominicks place. Upon his arrival he continued driving to check out his place. He circled around and parked his car near by. Manny went to his trunk and took out a SMG. Manny then just strolled on to his door and peacefully knocked on his door. "Who the f*ck is it?" Dominick asked "It's me Manny." Manny replied "What the f*ck you want?" Dominick asked "Just open the f*ckin' door or I'LL have to open it." Manny said Dominick slowley opened his door then WAM, Manny kicked it open thus knocking Dominick backwards, Manny stormed in and shut the front door closed and pointed his SMG at Dominck's head. "Wha-what the f*ck do you want dammnit?" Dominick asked "You didn't gimme enough info, I want more, or you'll have a bullet in your head." Manny said "Aight, fine, Incognito's not dead, And is not the one in charge of everything, there's another, his names G-Ryder. G-Ryde and Incognito like to go from place to place so you'll have trouble findin him." Dominick said "Then where are the most places he would go to?" Manny asked "He would go to Fight Clubs, Strip Clubs, abandon warhouses, abandon houses, and they also have a yacht out by the beach. And thats all I'm sayin." Dominick said "f*cking little bitch, your lucky that I wont shoot you." Manny said Manny removed the SMG from Dominicks head, headed to his car and left for one of the places G-Ryde and Incognito would be at. Los Santos International Airport... Incognito was waiting for Turwrakiuns, flight from LC to come in. After waiting for almost an hour it finally comes in. Incognito instantly new that the first man that came out was Turwrakiun. "Turwrakiun, so glad to see you again. How are you doing?" Incognito asked "Im doing fine but I wanna kill NOW." Turwrakiun replied "Don't worry you'll get your chance." Incognito said "Sssssnnnnnnnnnnnffffffff, awww the smell of new fresh meat for me to kill."Turwrakiun said Something's really gonna happen real soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted August 15, 2006 Author Share Posted August 15, 2006 Chapter 7 Teck August 23rd, 1996 Balla territory 8:45 PM Manny tracked down Ballas that were hangin' out, in the open. waiting to get shot. But Manny kept his cool though. He waited and waited, and waited, until they would do something. The Ballas got inside their car and drove off. Manny didn't know where they were going but he followed anyway. Manny followed them for a few minutes until they stopped somewhere near the docks, there the got out and walked to a Abandon warhouse. "What are those mother f*ckers doin'?" Manny said to himself He saw that the Ballas waited at the front entrance to one of the abandon warhouse, a man at the other end of the door opened it and let the Ballas in. Before the man closed the door Manny got a quick glimpse of the inside. There was a crowd inside and in the middle of them looked like a Ring, a fighting ring. "This must be one of their fight clubs." Manny said Manny walked out of his car and looked around for another way in. He saw above him at the roof of the warehouse that there's a ventalation ducked. He saw a pipe going to the roof and took it. He got ontop of the roof of the warehouse and opened the air vent. He quietly crawled in. He made it to a catwalk over the crowd of people watching the fight. Manny saw an opening out of the air vent. He slowely and quietly opened it and crawled out. He saw a guard to his left not noticing Manny. Manny slowely crept up on him. getting closer and closer, He then got close enough to choke him. "Time to go to sleep mutha F*cker." Manny said Manny knocked him out, he then climbed down a ladder to the floor, trying to see who's fighting. It was two guys fighitng eachother, one small and one big, and it looks like the small guy is winning. After like a minute or two the small guy beat the sh*t outta the bigger guy. The refferee ran in with a mic and announced... "Teck is the WINNER!" the refferee said "Aight people it's time to see who else will go against Teck. 20k will go to the man or woman who think they can take down Teck. Any takers." the ref said "I'll take him on." Manny said The ref grinned and waved his arm beckoning Manny to come in the ring. "Aight people we got ourselves another victom-- ugh I mean fighter. Another gaurd guided Manny to the locker room and told him to get dressed properly for the fight. A minute passed after changing and Manny walked out into the Ring. There Manny saw that Teck was waiting for him. Manny went to his corner looking up at the people staring down at him. Manny looked once more and... "What the f*ck?" Manny said to himself He saw that Alissa was with her brother on Teck side of the Ring. Teck looked up at the girl then looked back at Manny and gave him a real mean look. "Aight people we got Teck and Whats your name?" the ref asked "Manny Medrano." Manny replied "And Manny, fighters, take to the center of the ring please." the ref said Manny and Teck staring eye to eye at eachother looking at eachother with a fierce look in their eyes. "Alright back to your corners." the ref said They both went back to their corners getting ready to battle. DING DING DING Manny and Teck went to eachother with their dukes up, "RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH" "RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH" They both screamed out while they attacked eachother with fierce punches, one punch after another, one kick after another. They fought as if they were sworn enemies for years. Manny made a striking knee blow to Teck's stomach, thus knocking him back. Teck jumped back at Manny and threw a striking elbow blow at Manny face. Manny kneeled down like he was ready to give up. Then finally Teck raised both his hands and made one big fist, and right when he was about to strike. BAM, Manny punched Teck right in his Balls. "Awwwwwwww." Teck groaned WAAM, Manny then uppercutted Teck knocking back, and knocking him OUT. The Ref came running in shocked to see that Teck has been knocked out cold. "Aight people we have ourselves a new champion. Manny Medrano." The crowd cheered on for Manny and Alissa looked releived that he's alive. Manny got back to the locker room and put back on his clothes. Manny was about to leave but thought about the 20 grand. The Ref caught up on him in the locker room. "Hey good job man heres the 20 grand." the ref said "Thanks." Manny said As Manny walked to his car and drove off. RRIIIIIIING RRIIIIIIING Manny picked up his cell phone. "Who this?" Manny asked "It's Teck." Teck replied "How'd you get this number?" Manny asked "Your girl, I just called to say that you earned my respect young blood, It's not that easy earning my respect but you did kid, see yah." Teck hung up, Manny drove back to his apartment tired from the fight club battle. He walked up to his room and plopped on his couch instantly falling asleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted August 17, 2006 Author Share Posted August 17, 2006 Chapter 8 Droppin' New Bombs August 23th 1996 Manny's place 4:59 AM "MANNY HELP ME!!!!!!" Alissa screamed "IM COMING." Manny yelled out Manny ran down a dark strange hallway running towards Alissa's voice. Manny all of a sudden reach a fork, there were three turns to Alissa but he didn't know which one to take. "ALISSA WHERE ARE YOU?" Manny yelled "MANNY IM OVER HERE HELP!!!" Alissa screamed Manny heard Alissa's voice at the Right turn of him. He took it and ran for Alissa. Manny was outside of a room, Manny ran straight through the door then... BANG BANG BANG... "AHHH." Manny screamed Manny woke up, it turned out to be a nightmare. "ugh It was just a dream." Manny said Manny then fell back asleep. Noon 12:42 PM... Manny woke up, and instantly got up like he was full of energy already. Manny got in his car and headed back to the Abandon warehouse he went to last night. After a little bit Manny reached the Abandon warehouse, parked his car, and headed on inside. When he got inside It wasn't much of a crowd in then last night. "HEY, our new reighning champ is back," The ref said "Come on down and fight another opponent." Manny didn't want to fight again, He's still feels the bruizes from last night. But he went down anyways. Manny walked to the locker room, looking at the guy for his opponent. "I'm gonna knock your ass to dah ground bitch." He said "We'll see." Manny replied They both went to the ring and was prepared to fight. "Aight people we got Manny and OSIMA, ready...FIGHT." The ref said DING DING DING Manny just slowely got up waiting for OSIMA to come, OSIMA stormed at Manny like a psycho. BAM Manny just stuck his leg and hit OSIMA'S chest instantly knocking his ass out. "HOOLY SHEEP SH*T, MANNY TOOK HIS ASS DOWN IN 10 SECONDS," The ref said "Thats why he's OUR REIGhNING CHAMP HAHAHA." Manny walked back to the lockers noticing that Alissa's inside. "You know you ain't supposed to be in here." Manny said "I just came here to talk." Alissa replied "If its about two days ago, I'm sorry,I-I was just mad at you brother." Manny said "Thats all I'm saying. "Ok well, bye." Alissa said Alissa left the warehouse, and Manny got dressed and left, to home. Manny got to his apartment, to his room and sat in his couch and turned on his TV. After a few hours of chillin and being lazy Manny decided to go look for some Ballas to get info out of. Manny got outside to his car and drove off into Balla territory. He turned into a alley to see if anyone was in there, but no one. He drove all over the Ballas territory and not one Balla in sight. "I got a bad feeling about this." Manny said to himself. Manny stopped at a red light and waited, out of nowhere here come the Ballas. They surrounded Manny's car, then they started pushing it. They pushed Manny's car like they wanted to tip it over, rolled down his window a tiny bit and took out a SMG, He pointed it at one of the Ballas and started shooting. B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BANG Manny shot at all the Ballas, They all scattered running and climbing fences, then they themselves took out their guns. and shot Back. BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBANG All at the same time they rapidly shot at Manny, One Balla walked out holding his hand out telling them to stop fireing. "Get up." The Balla said "YO GET ME A CAR." The Balla yelled at one Balla The got the car and took it to the one Balla by Manny. "Get in." He instructed Manny Manny got in and the Balla drove him to a secluded area, of North Star Rock. There The Balla gave Manny a TMP and the Balla took a MP5. "We're gonna play a little game," The Balla said "I'm Turwrakiun, go stand 30 paces infront of me." "Whats all this?" Manny asked "A game." Turwrakiun replied "Now, the rules are simple, Try to kill eachother the BEST way we can. Ok? Now lets do this." Turwrakiun said Manny got his weapon ready and Turwrakiun got his ready. They both paused for a moment as if time has frozen, both pointing their guns at eachother, then... B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BANG Turwrakiun fired at Manny, but Manny ducked and shot Back. B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BANG Manny shot Back at Turwrakiun aiming for his legs, but Turwrakiun lunged to his left rolling down a hill. Manny followed him and was being shot at, at the same time. "HA HAHA, DAKA DAKA DAKA." Turwrakiun yelled insanely Turwrakiun gained his balance and got up continueing to shoot at Manny, Manny shooting back at Turwrakiun, just got shot in the arm and his leg. "AHHHHHHHH." Manny screamed But that didn't stop him, Manny lifted up his arm and continued to shoot. Manny shot Turwrakiun in his leg and his right shoulder, whilst making him kneel down. But that didn't stop Turwrakiun either. Finally Manny and Turwrakiun ran out of ammo. "DAMMNIT!!!" Turwrakiun yelled "I forgot to bring ammo along. We'll have to continue this later, see yah." Turwrakiun just walked away like nothing happened, Manny just collapsed on the ground panting. "Who that f*ck was that?" Manny said to himself Manny slowley got up and drove to his place. Back, at a Balla hide out... "THAT MANNY GUY IS FUN." Turwrakiun said "So...what did you do to him?" Incognito asked "Oh we just played a little game, we tied." Turwrakiun said "It was a whole bunch of fun." "The End is near, I can feel it." Incognito said COMMENTS PLZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted September 12, 2006 Author Share Posted September 12, 2006 Chapter 9 Betrayal August 24th, 1996 Balla hide out at the yacht... "Hey yo Incognito, whassup my nigga." G-Ryde said "Nothin' much, just this." Incognito replied Incognito pointed his gun right at G-Ryde's head. "HEY HEY HEY what the f*ck you doin?" G-Ryde asked "Your not doing sh*t to kill this guy, all you do is nothing." Incognito said "And I'm here to change that." "HUH NO---" BANG Incognito pulled G-Ryde's corpse out of his seat, then turned around to the Ballas. "You all have a choice, either join me, or join...him." Incognito said to the Ballas The Ballas just did nothing but stand and kept guard. "Get this piece of sh*t out of here." Incognito instructed Another Balla dragged G-Ryde's corpse near a rail and chucked him over into the ocean. Turwrakiun walked in un-announced to Incognito. "So... I see you got rid of him eh?" Turwrakiun asked "He was weak and pathetic, it was sickening." Incognito said "Well what are we gonna do BOSS?" Turwrakiun asked "Well I got a empire to run, go start some trouble...HAVE SOME FUN!"Incognito replied Back at Manny's place... Manny got geared up, He put brass knuckles in his pocket, an army switch blad in the other, took out his favorite gun, his upgraded to the max 9mm with silencer. He headed out the door when... "Hi" WAM Manny got his ass knocked out. Before he fully lost concious he could only see the blur of guys looking down upon him. He saw that even though everything was a blur, he saw that the men were wearing purple. "take'em,drag'em, and put'em in the trunk of my car." one said A few hours later... Manny regained conciousness and there he noticed that he's tied up in small well conceiled room. He squintses his eyes, because he noticed a woman infront of him. "Alissa? that you?" Manny asked "Yes it's me." Alissa replied "Where am I?" Manny asked "I can't say." Alissa replied "Wakey wakey eggs and bakey." Turwrakiun said (Gasp)" It's you." Manny said "yeahyeah its me, He thanks baby." Turwrakiun said giving Alissa a kiss "Son of a BITCH! You were in this, this WHOLE time?" Manny asked "Well they gave me a good cut of 75 thousand a year, and thats a lot of money." Alissa replied "Wellp, I think it's time to go, c'mon Alissa." Turwrakiun said "O-Dawg, TG take care of Manny here would yah." The door's closed behind Turwrakiun and O-Dawg and TG surrounded Manny. One took out a knife, and another took out a crow bar, and were ready to kill Manny. "AHHHHHHHHHH." O-Dawg yelled while lunging the knife at Manny, Manny quickly tilted his chair backwards, thus O-Dawg stabbed TG, hitting a vital artery. Manny saw a sharp object stuck in a wall, so he cut the rope, and grabbed the crow bar. O-Dawg with only a knife couldn't stand a chance, and kneeled down before Manny. "You better bow down b*tch." Manny said Manny lifted the crowbar over his head and smashed open O-Dawgs head. "I'm gonna f*cking kill them ALL!!!" Manny said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted September 12, 2006 Author Share Posted September 12, 2006 Ok about the Johnny rocket fingers thing, I just used him for a couple parts to give me a jump start in the story, because I couldn't think of sh*t to write about. Sorry forgive me all? Chapter 10 Escape August 24th, 1996 Somewhere unknown... Manny looked towards the door infront of him and saw that it had all kinds of puzzling locks, It looks like he wont get out for a while. He sat down and took a look around until, he looked up and saw an opening. It was a air vent, it looked like he could fit through it so he climbed up. After, he crawled around seeing if he could find a way down, a few feet away from him he heard voices of some Ballas. He got close and... "Hey, what you think we gonna do about this guy Manny Turk?" A Balla said "What the f*ck do I care he dead." Turwrakiun said "Hell yeah nigga, lets get bouncin'." The Balla said Turwrakiun and the Balla left the building and the door locked tight from behind. "I guess I can't get out that way." Manny said to himself Manny knocked down the vent and climbed down, he looked to his right and saw a room called The Armoury. He opened the door and his jaw just dropped. He drooled over all the weapons that were inside, right when he was gonna walk inside two Balla guards walked out from behind Manny, Manny ran inside and waiting for the Ballas to pass. After they passed... WAM BAM Manny swung the crowbar and opened their heads wiide open with blood squirting out on Manny's shirt. Manny dragged their bodies inside the armoury to hide'em and then, Manny took what he could hold. Manny picked up two Mach 10 elites, a M243, and 3 gernades. Manny walked outside acting all bad ass with what he's packin', Manny came across a room labeled The Lounge, it had a window and Manny looked inside, He saw that there were all kinds of Ballas inside,almost 50. Manny locked and loaded and then... BAM Manny kicked down the door pointing his M243 at the Ballas. "Hey fellas." Manny said "It's you...KILL'EM!!!" A Balla said B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BANG right after the Balla spoke Manny started shootin'. Not caring who he shot Manny took down almost all the Ballas, a few tilted tables and hid behind them, and started shooting back. B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BANG The rest of the Ballas shot back at Manny, a couple managed to hit him, Manny got shot 3 times, 1 in the bottum side, 1 on his leg, and one on his arm. But that didn't stop him. Manny continued shooting then all of a sudden, the M243 ran out of ammo, Manny threw it down and took out his two Mach 10 Elites, and rapidly shot at the Ballas. "DIE MOTHER F*CKERS!!!" Manny yelled B-B-B-B-B-B-BANG Manny stopped shooting and looked to see if someone was still breathing. Only one Balla was left standing shaking pointing a gun at Manny. Manny slowley walked towards the Balla. "Shoot me, I'm right here." Many said "C'mon bitch shoot me, I dare you." "Don't temped me, DON'T YOU TEMPED ME!!!" The Balla said trembling Manny grabbed the gun and just took it out of the Ballas hand. "You got 20 seconds to get outta here." Manny said The Balla just started booking out of the room when... ".....20." BANG Manny shot the Balla point blank behind his head. Manny covered in Blood just started to walked towards the exit when... Alissa ran inside the room surprised to see Manny alive. "Oh my god, Manny are you ok?" Alissa asked "What the f*ck do I look like to you." Manny replied "You f*ckin' betrayed me." "About that, They forced me into it, They threatened to Kill Dominick if I didn't I just, I just." Alissa started to cry. "Hey hey listen, Just go somewhere to hide out for a while ok." Manny said Alissa ran out the exit, and headed off to where ever she was going to hide. Manny exited and finally made it outside, He saw an on coming car, Manny walked infront of it, pulled the driver out, and sped off to his place. After getting home finally Manny headed straight for his room, and to his shower. After almost twenty minutes, Manny got out the shower, patched up his wounds, and got dressed. When Manny was gonna rest... RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING "Hello?" Manny asked "Hey how's it goin', we got your girl." "What the, who the f*ck is this?" Manny asked "Just come to the building you escaped from but in the second floor." The guy on the other end hung up. Manny got up, and grabbed his guns. "No time for healing wounds, time to go." Manny said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted September 12, 2006 Author Share Posted September 12, 2006 wow 7 postings in a row is that some kind of record? REPLY YOU BASTARDS!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xygtaxy Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 lol, annoying sound affects, funny humor to it, rate my story good, i rated yours good. my story is GTA: The trilogy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted September 16, 2006 Author Share Posted September 16, 2006 Chapter 11 To save or NOT to save August 24th, 1996 On the road... "It must've been Turwrakiun, I recognize his voice anywhere." Manny said Manny speeding down the highway avoiding getting hit by other cars, he was thinking of what Turwrakiun and Incognito are doing to Alissa. His wounds slowley dripping blood as he rushes to the building he escaped from. He made sure his guns were locked and loaded. Close to five minutes Manny stepped on the brake, jumped out his car, and ran down an alley where he escaped from. He looked inside and noticed that all the dead bodies of Ballas that he killed were gone, not even a blood stain. As if he didn't kill them at all. Manny slowley walked inside being gung ho with his Mac 10 elites. He noticed that there was a stair case to his right. He took it and climbed to the second floor. As he arrived he saw that there weren't no Ballas taking guard, just nothing but a dark strange hallway. "Hey, this is just like my dream." Manny said to himself "ALISSA!!!" "MANNY HELP ME!!!" Alissa yelled at a distance "IM COMING." Manny yelled out Manny ran down a dark strange hallway running towards Alissa's voice. Manny all of a sudden reach a fork, there were three turns to Alissa but he didn't know which one to take. "ALISSA WHERE ARE YOU?" Manny yelled "MANNY IM OVER HERE HELP!!!" Alissa screamed Manny heard Alissa's voice at the Right turn of him. He took it and ran for Alissa. Manny was outside of a room, Manny ran straight through the door then... BANG BANG... Manny has suddenly been shot, new wounds has peirced his skin with blood spewing out his body. Manny tries his hardest to regain conciousness and see who shot him. He tries to look but can't, everything has gone dark and blurry. He lowered his head finally letting go since he knows he's going to die. A dark figure approaches him, the dark figure bends down, and Manny glances his eye to see who it was. [breathed heavily] "Y-you, it's...YOU, you f*ckin BITCH *cough*." Manny said Manny managed to see that it was Alissa who shot him. "I'm sorry Manny, They thought that a woman could fool you, and they were right. Of this whole time I did NOT love you, not one bit." Alissa said Incognito and Turwrakiun walked behind Alissa standing by her side. "Hey, thanks baby, we finally got'em." Turwrakiun said "I-I'm gonna make s-sure, you all DIE *couch*" Manny said "Leave this peice of sh*t here to die, He'll be dead very very soon." Incognito said Incognito, Turwrakiun, and Alissa left the building. Manny just laid down waiting to die. While waiting for death to come, he started thinking, he couldn't let that bitch Alissa get away with this, he couldn't let them ALL get away with this. He would make sure that they would ALL PAY! Even though Manny was losing a lot of blood he used all the rest of his strength to get himself up. He dragged himself against the wall trying to walk, He was breathing heavily trying to follow them. After about a minute of limping and dragging, Manny made it to a room that seemed to be the medical room. Manny lunged inside and looked for everything to help him out a little bit. He found some things to help him, After almost ten minutes of patching up his NEW wounds Manny continued on limping towards the exit, and towards Incognito. Manny saw two TMP's just laying on a table on his way out in a room, so he took it, and the ammo that was with it. After that, Manny continued on outside. "I remember Dominick saying that a Yacht over by the beach, I'll go there." Manny said Once outside, Manny saw that he was surrounded by Ballas, How was he gonna get out of this. "This is f*cked up, I don't remember there being THIS many Ballas." Manny said "Well, time to get some exercize." B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BBBBBB-B-B-BANG The Ballas shooting at Manny, Manny shooting at the Ballas, everything went fast. Manny jumped back inside the building. ''YOU MISSED MEEEEE!!!!" Manny yelled Manny continued to shoot back dropping the Ballas, one Balla came from behind with a Mini gun in his hands. [gasp] "Where the f*ck they get fire powere like---" Before Manny could finish the Balla started shooting, Manny jumped inside the room across from him, and got shot in his leg. "YOU SHOOT LIKE A BITCH!!!" Manny yelled "And that jump didn't help my wounds heal either, sh*t." Manny noticed that not much ammo was left in the TMP's too. Manny just thought of an idea, but he might die though, Manny had to go. "HEY, I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM SO HOLD UP A MINUTE!!" Manny called out "WHAT THE F*CK?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?" a Balla asked "I GOT A SMALL BLADDER, NOW WAIT A F*CKIN' FEW MINUTES." Manny yelled Manny couldn't believe those dumbasses fell for it, Manny hid his guns under his shirt and slowley went to the bathroom, also looking out seeing that the Ballas were looking at eachother puzzled. Manny made it inside the bathroom and looked up and saw a air ducked. Manny threw his guns up, climbed up, and crawled through to see a way out. Manny looked behind him and looked infront of him, and saw no opening. "There has to be an opening." Manny said there and behold Manny crawled forward to see if there's a way out, and there was. Manny went forward and made a right then continued on, He saw another air ducked in front of him towards outside, he looked and saw no Ballas outside so, Manny kicked the air vent down and climbed down a drain pipe next to him. Manny took out the TMP's and slowley walk towards the end, Manny saw the rest of the Ballas still waiting for him to come out of the bathroom. "RRRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHH, get his ass out the bathroom and cap his ass." the Balla said Two Ballas ran inside leaving three Ballas out. Manny saw his chance, and he took it. B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BANG Manny took down the three Ballas outside, he then hid and waited for the two to fall in Manny's trap. And when they ran outside..... B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BANG Manny took them down easy. After Manny drove one of the dead Ballas car and drove off to Incognito's yacht. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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