Maddok Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Chapter 1 Back Home 12:36 PM Los Santos International Airport, 1992 It was the summer of Los Santos, and CJ was getting off the plane from Liberty CIty. RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING CJ answers his cell phone. CJ: Hello? Sweet: Hey CJ. CJ: Hey Sweet whassup? Sweet: It's momma...She's in the hospital, she's been shot bro.. CJ hangs up and turns off his cell phone. CJ: Taxi! CJ get inside. Taxi Driver: Where to buddy? CJ: Hospital. Taxi Driver: You got it. CJ arrived at the hospital hoping that his mother. He ran out of the taxi and towards the hospital. Taxi Driver: HEY WHAT ABOUT MY MONEY! CJ: F*ck you with your money. He ran to the front desk. CJ: Beverly Johnson's room. Front Desk: She is at the second floor room 45. CJ ran up the stairs to the second floor, then headed to room 45. He saw Sweet and his mother Beverly. Beverly: Oh Carl, your finally home. CJ: You ok momma? Beverly: I'm fine, and the doctors said that I'll be back home in a few days. Sweet: Everything was going so fast, I-I-I could barely keep up with everything The Ballas came up in Grove Street, I think they were tryin' to go for me. And they had the Green Sabre. CJ: Well it's good to know that mommas fine now. Beverly: You two leave now I need my rest. CJ and Sweet left the room and leaving the hospital. Sweet: C'mon CJ we'll go in my car. They got inside and drove back to Grove Street. CJ: Is Kendl Alright? Sweet: She's fine but she goin' out with a mexican though. [Laughing] CJ: Well it's good to be home. They have arrived at Grove Street, seeing that not much has changed over 5 years. Sweet parked the car and they both headed to their family home. As they entered. Kendl: CJ!!! CJ: Come here sis. [Hugs] CJ saw another man inside the house. CJ: Who are you? Cesar: I'm Cesar, I'm Kendls boyfriend. CJ: Well...it's good to meet you then, I'm CJ. Cesar: Well I gotta go baby I'll see you later tonight. Cesar Left with Sweet locking the door behind him. Sweet: I don't trust that nigga, Why'd you go out with him Kendl? Kendl: It's better then goin' out with your dumba$$ friends Sweet. CJ: Hey hey HEY, enough with the fightin'. Sweet: Whatever Lets go meet Ryder and Big Smoke. CJ: Oh sh*t I havn't seen them since--- Sweet: Since you left, now lets go. CJ, Sweet, And Kendl got inside Sweet's car and started towards Big Smokes house. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/247144-always-be-my-baby-boy/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
S. Leone Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Dude......1 the writing is terrible 2 your story is all screwed up 3 CJ's mom dies in San Andreas so the whole story is wrong Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/247144-always-be-my-baby-boy/#findComment-3737035 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 (edited) Well I'm making it where she doesn't die . And tell me what I need work on so I can fix it. Edited June 13, 2006 by Maddok Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/247144-always-be-my-baby-boy/#findComment-3737041 Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaGangsta Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 its too um lets put it um well jst work in it better like put more feeling into it Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/247144-always-be-my-baby-boy/#findComment-3737077 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 I don't care much about writing my fan-fics. But I guess I'll put more effort into it. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/247144-always-be-my-baby-boy/#findComment-3737100 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Baker1 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Thats your problem, you need to care about your writing to put out a actually good story, not just crap out story after story of non sense. If you dont care, stop writing so we dont have to see your sh*t Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/247144-always-be-my-baby-boy/#findComment-3737232 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddok Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 Well I still have my other fan-fic to worry about so I don't wanna have to write 2 at the same time . I'll give this fic a rest until I'm done with the last chapter of my other fan fic. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/247144-always-be-my-baby-boy/#findComment-3737265 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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