Woozie_woo Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Woozie's War Place: Grove Street Time: Rainy Afternoon Chapter 1 I sat in my Hummer 3 smoking on a little marijuana I scored from one of the homie's. Listening to 2 pac's "I don't give a f*ck". I took the last drag from the spliff and threw the duck in the ash tray. Patiently waiting for my O.Dog to come , I started to roll another , as I rolled I noticed the police creeping up from behind , I quickly stashed the blunt in the ash tray , as the Cops rolled passed. " O.Dog need to hurry his ass up. All these f*cking police cruising around. I can't afford to go back to the pen. " I began to get restless. I cranked my stereo up and the speakers began to pulse. Just as I flamed the blunt up , I heard a knoclk on the window , It was O.DOG. " Where the f*ck you been at? " " Man I almost forgot my gun " " Stupid! , anyway is you ready to do this sh*t? " "Yeah!" " Aight Its time to show these vick's you in shape " Before I started up the car I cocked my desert eagle and made sure O.Dog did the same. The stereo was playing Ice T's color's , and the system rattled the trunk. I lit up another blunt put the truck in drive and speed off from in front of the Binco's clothing store. We began to drive up the Imperial Gangster's Block. As we got closer all you could see was the gang's pink and black colors. The main target was a rival member named Puma. He stood with four members. The car sat in the back ground almost invisible , and the Pink Panther Logo sat on the spray painted T's like a target. " You ready to to this mutha f*cka? " " Hell yeah! " " I cant hear that sh*t! " " Hell Yeah! " I pressed down on the gas. We speed up the block with our guns ready to aim just as we got closer the gang noticed us , some drew their gat's , two others began to ran. The car took shots to the side. Even though , our concern was about Puma and not the others. O.Dog fired shots at the two guys any way , hitting them both in the chest. I fired shots at Puma then he fell to the ground. I stopped the car and hopped out to finish him off. I seen Puma trying to crawl away with his life I aprroached him , and my shadow covered his body he turned over and noticed it was me an Insane Deuce from grove street. " You peice of sh*t. If it isn't the grand puma him self? " "f*ck YOU MAN! " " What are you all amped up about? You knew you had this coming you stupid f*ck! After all you shot up my damn block , and left two of my fellow deuces for dead. " " I'M SORRY MAN! " " SORRY? You mutha f*ckas! is sorry ? Hm hm hm .... Is that right? I had a devilish smirk on my face , but it quickly twisted. I emptied the clip in his chest. I ran back to the car before those other two guys retaliated. We threw the car in drive and " Colors " pulsed from the speakers. Woozie Woo a,k.a Yak-uzi Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/245570-woozies-war/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
neitherine Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 There is a section for fan fic reported for move Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/245570-woozies-war/#findComment-3712459 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanzant Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 "whoooops" So should it be moved to San Andreas Gen discussion or writers discussion? We could flip a coin or make a poll. Good short story by the way, nicely done with colorful characters and a gloomy setting that fits the story. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/245570-woozies-war/#findComment-3712464 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hard Knocker Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 this story sucks, try again Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/245570-woozies-war/#findComment-3712482 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Fictional Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 this story sucks, try again Try and find the decency to post with some constructive critiscism, at least Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/245570-woozies-war/#findComment-3712856 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guybrush Threepwood Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 this story sucks, try again Try and find the decency to post with some constructive critiscism, at least Here's some constructive criticism. I sat in my Hummer 3 smoking on a little marijuana I scored from one of the homie's. Listening to 2 pac's "I don't give a f*ck" All these f*cking police cruising around. I can't afford to go back to the pen. If you don't want to go back to jail, and you're a somewhat savvy criminal. You'd be smart enough not to sit your doped up ass behind the wheel listening to angry rap music. When there's apparently a lot of police officers in your vicinity. I'm all for character depth, you know, characters with common sense. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/245570-woozies-war/#findComment-3712893 Share on other sites More sharing options...
B Rob Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 It's decent I guess, but It's kind of short and lacks detail. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/245570-woozies-war/#findComment-3713030 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisNorthInGer Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 The story is okay at best. The way everything was described vividly and with strong words is good. but it sounds like the story is told through the eyes of the main character but it dosen't sound like the main character would say or think those kind of things. It also reads more like one of those things, I forget what you call them, you Know inside of the book like the preview thing, because it just drops you in the middle of no where. But I think with some work it could be a pretty good story as it sounds like your a good writer. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/245570-woozies-war/#findComment-3722009 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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