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Films so good... they suck


Crokey
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Hello All

 

This might turn out to be just a personal rant due to recent experience. But what film(s) above all others make you think that you were robbed of a couple of hours that you could have spent better or even rather spent the entire duration of the film picking grains of sugar off a doughnut one by one with a pair of tweezers. For me that accolade would have to go to....

 

Napoleon Dynamite

 

Now what in the name of f*ck was that film all about, I spent the first hour of the film with my face looking like a Madamme Tusauds Wax Work model that had been staring at a hairdryer for the whole time. I would have only started laughing if the halucenagens I tired to smuggle on board had kicked in, but they were taken off me by customs...curse ye. The whole point of this is, the Critics 'loved it', 'Everybody else loved it' so why in the hell did I find it possibly the worst film I've had the mispleasure to endure.

 

Debate, Discuss, Post your own anti-critic movies.

 

GC

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The Sound Of Music

 

It is very much critically acclaimed however, I fell asleep after the first 15 minutes, and when I woke up, suddenly there were Germans. I left the room after that.

 

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

 

I really don't know, so many people seem to love it, I just can't seem to find the appeal. Chow Yun Fat has so many good movies, I'd rather have most of them over this, give me Hard Boiled any day.

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I know I've seen a stack of movies like you're talking about, but I can't for the life of me think of them - I guess they were so bad I just erased them permanently from the ol' memory bank wink.gif.

 

Anyhow, one that I can think of would definitely be Star Wars Episode I - The Phantom Menace. Honestly, the hype surrounding that movie was enormous, but I was less than impressed with it when I first saw it (mostly due to that annoying f*ck Jar Jar Binks die.gif!). II was still the worst though.

 

Terminator 3 had a good write up from the critics as well, but I thought it was pretty cr*p - Kristanna Loken was pretty much the only reason I kept watching smile.gif.

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Terminator 3 had a good write up from the critics as well, but I thought it was pretty cr*p - Kristanna Loken was pretty much the only reason I kept watching

 

yes and was i the only one who watch T3 cause i remembered terminators come back though time naked? one of the main reasons i watched it.

 

 

as for napoleon, it does have some pretty funny parts in it, but not worth quoting for months on end like all my friends.

 

star wars? i thought the first one could've been good if they got rid of jar jar and chose a less whiney kid to play anakin. II was sh*t, but III was pretty darn good, i don't want to hear anyone bagging it. especially after that scene in the jedi temple with the little kids...

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Terminator 3 had a good write up from the critics as well, but I thought it was pretty cr*p - Kristanna Loken was pretty much the only reason I kept watching

 

yes and was i the only one who watch T3 cause i remembered terminators come back though time naked? one of the main reasons i watched it.

 

 

as for napoleon, it does have some pretty funny parts in it, but not worth quoting for months on end like all my friends.

 

star wars? i thought the first one could've been good if they got rid of jar jar and chose a less whiney kid to play anakin. II was sh*t, but III was pretty darn good, i don't want to hear anyone bagging it. especially after that scene in the jedi temple with the little kids...

I liked it (Episode 3) at first, but looking back now, it really was cheesy as f*ck and the script was atrocious. And as for the kids dying in the temple; why would that make it a good movie?

 

I didn't like V for Vendetta. I guess I'm partial to it because of the differences in the movie to the comic.

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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

 

I really don't know, so many people seem to love it, I just can't seem to find the appeal. Chow Yun Fat has so many good movies, I'd rather have most of them over this, give me Hard Boiled any day.

Quoted for agreement.

 

I thought it was awful, too. Yet, everywhere I looked upon it's release it was being hailed a masterpiece!?

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Pump Bumper

i'm gonna get verbally raped for this, but whatever...

 

The Godfather I'm one of the most patient people i know...i've sat through plenty of long-ass movies, but my god what a boring movie!!!! it seemed like it was 12 hours long. i'm far from having A.D.D., but i always find myself staring into space after a few minutes in this movie. but the godfather 2 was pretty sweet...the whole 2 story's were great, i loved DiNero in the early 1900's. good stuff.

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I was at my dad's house, watching Napoleon Dynamite. I had heard much talk about it, but had no idea what it was about. Afterwards, I could see how it would be made into a film (barely), but not at all how it could have society at large talking about it... until I left and met up with a couple friends. Whereby the one of them who has seen it and I began exchanging quotes and laughing our asses off. It's just one of those movies you need to watch in a group settings so you can tear it apart while you're watching it.

 

As for hype, I never buy it. Anytime you find a movie on cereal boxes before it hits theaters, I instantly lose interest. There are quite a few movies I don't see until well after their time just because of that. Wish I could think of some names at this moment, but I can't.

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Finding Nemo. Biggest sh*theap ever.

 

Edit: Actually, every CG kids-type movie after Toy Story has been pretty crap. And even Toy Story was dodgy at best.

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Actually, every CG kids-type movie after Toy Story has been pretty crap. And even Toy Story was dodgy at best.

 

Ice Age: 2. I went and saw that yesterday and it was just average. i know it is for kids and all, but most CG movies have plenty of jokes for the older crowd. i found myself zoning out during most of the movie, only paying attention to the bits with the squirrel and the acron.

 

 

aside from that i'd have to agree with you. most CG movies lack an interesting storyline, they just try and wow you with the sfx.

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I fell asleep during the Matrix. It just didn't interest me, which is weird because I really liked Reloaded when I saw that. I never saw Revolutions, so yeah.

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And as for the kids dying in the temple; why would that make it a good movie?

 

It didn't make the movie good, but it was by far the best/funniest scene in the new trilogy.

 

 

I hated Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

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Brokeback Mountain.

 

It only garnered so much attention cause Jake what's his face gets ass f*cked.

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Some agreeable choices there, but another two sprung to mind incidentally starring the same guy Kevin Kostner, the first one

 

Dances With Wolves

 

What a long drawn out peice of plop that was, with no diesernable ending, which leads me onto

 

Robin Hood Prince of Theives

 

Again a long drawn out peice of rectum-seepage, spent most of the film wandering around the woods, then only having a five minute tet-a-tet with the bad guy. Can anybody explain why those films were supposed to be any good. dontgetit.gif

 

GC

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I fell asleep during the Matrix. It just didn't interest me, which is weird because I really liked Reloaded when I saw that. I never saw Revolutions, so yeah.

don't see reveloutions. biggest waste of time ever.

 

I agree with maddox

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I'll just say that in my experience, sequels/prequels to films are generally not as good as the original - 3 examples where this isn't the case would be Star Wars (I personally liked VI the most), X-Men (2 was way better than 1) and Terminator (2 pooped all over the first one).

 

I did think of one earlier, only to forget it now sad.gif.

 

PS - the Matrix sequels were horrible IMO (the original was good though icon14.gif).

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I remember I went to see Remember The Titans and fell asleep. It was on a school field trip, and i was sick. Then i got the movie on DVD and it was good.

 

As far as overhyped movies, The Blair Witch Project was a piece of sh*t movie.

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And as for the kids dying in the temple; why would that make it a good movie?

 

It didn't make the movie good, but it was by far the best/funniest scene in the new trilogy.

Maddox summed it up nicely

 

What I tend to hate though are those crappy low budget arthouse movies that everyone goes in a rave about because they are new, risque and apparently a whole lot of sh*t about nothing. You always see in generic magazines and newspapers, they are always the ones to get 5 stars, then you never hear or see of them again...

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And as for the kids dying in the temple; why would that make it a good movie?

 

It didn't make the movie good, but it was by far the best/funniest scene in the new trilogy.

Maddox summed it up nicely

 

What I tend to hate though are those crappy low budget arthouse movies that everyone goes in a rave about because they are new, risque and apparently a whole lot of sh*t about nothing. You always see in generic magazines and newspapers, they are always the ones to get 5 stars, then you never hear or see of them again...

Hahaha;

user posted image

It's so funny because it's so true.

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Blerrr I would have posted that, but I wasnt sure if it would have stretched the screen or not, or if MAddox cranked a Hotlinking thingo or something.

 

Knowing him, it is something he would do wink.gif

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I agree with Napoleon Dynamite, I heard the hype and saw the dvd had been price slashed. I took it home and put it in with alot of enthusiasm. I sat there thinking "okay.. I'm going to laugh. any second now..", then it was over.

 

I half agree with Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. The story is complete bollocks, but come the f*ck on, some of those fights and the wire work are just phenomenal.

 

@Kraknor: Toy Story, dodgy in any sense or form? nigga please... oh wait, I guess Tim Allen kinda sucks.

 

Would Titanic count? it won the oscar and that, despite being a complete load of bollocks. Apart from when the ship goes down, and that dude falls and just smacks against the fan/propeller thing, that was f*cking hillarious.

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What critics actually liked Napoleon Dynamite, Terminator 3, Star Wars Episode I, and The Matrix Sequels? This topic quickly became HATE ANY MOVIE EVER.

 

Oh and get off Maddox' dick, that guy is too far up his own arse.

 

The correct answer to this topic is Crash.

 

 

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Oh and get off Maddox' dick, that guy is too far up his own arse.

Now you're jealous of Maddox too? I keep trying to tell you that we're all different. Keep using yourself as a guide and you'll find yourself pretty lonely.

 

Revolutions was the worst of the 3 Matrixes (Matrices? lol.gif). But I still enjoyed it. And WM will be short-circuited to hear I found the entire series inspirational.

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Revolutions was the worst of the 3 Matrixes (Matrices? ). But I still enjoyed it. And WM will be short-circuited to hear I found the entire series inspirational.

 

*shudder* my math classes are so boring.

 

 

 

Oh and get off Maddox' dick, that guy is too far up his own arse.

 

 

Err, he does it on purpose?

 

As for Star Wars Episode I, come on, the original star wars were huge, the critics raved about the newest addition to the storyline.

 

And terminator? I only bought the 2nd one, the first was sort of ok at the time, but after watching the 2nd one I never watched the 1st again. The 3rd was just awful; I knew they'd crap up because there are no more good names for the terminator after the T 1000. T X? Lame.

 

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Oh and get off Maddox' dick, that guy is too far up his own arse.

And WM will be short-circuited to hear I found the entire series inspirational.

DID YOU FREE YOUR MIND!??

 

You keep talking the same utter bullsh*t Demarest, what does jealousy and people having opinions have to do with anything? There is no debate about it, a movie is either loved by critics, it's luke warm or it's hated. That's a f*cking fact, it's written, there is no debate about how well a film is recieved.

 

Maddox played out his only card long ago, it's time to move on with the rest of the world.

 

Critics hated Terminator 3 and Episode I, that's the point. Those aren't at all acclaimed by ANYONE. Dances With Wolves is a good example, because it won a f*cking best picture oscar over Goodfellas f*ck sake.

 

Yeah, Terminator 3 sucked because of the names, great job genius.

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I agree with Napoleon Dynamite, I heard the hype and saw the dvd had been price slashed. I took it home and put it in with alot of enthusiasm. I sat there thinking "okay.. I'm going to laugh. any second now..", then it was over.

I thought the music from the opening credits was nice smile.gif

 

But then you had the entire movie in front of you.

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I thought the music from the opening credits was nice

 

Yeah I liked it too, the white stripes wrote and sung that song free of charge cause' they knew it was being filmed on such a low budget.

 

As for widow, yeah, I judged the movie from the start because of the name for the terminator. It was sarcastic?

 

 

Oh and get off Maddox' dick, that guy is too far up his own arse.

 

 

Maddox played out his only card long ago, it's time to move on with the rest of the world.

 

You can move on, but it seems alot of people still find him funny, after the recent book launch and the heap of traffic he gets.

 

I think it is just you and your lack of personality sense of humor.

 

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I thought the music from the opening credits was nice

 

Yeah I liked it too, the white stripes wrote and sung that song free of charge cause' they knew it was being filmed on such a low budget.

Umm, We're Going to be Friends was on the album White Blood Cells, which came out three years before Napoleon Dynamite.

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I thought the music from the opening credits was nice

 

Yeah I liked it too, the white stripes wrote and sung that song free of charge cause' they knew it was being filmed on such a low budget.

Umm, We're Going to be Friends was on the album White Blood Cells, which came out three years before Napoleon Dynamite.

DUDE IT WAS SARCASM. R U DUM OR SUMTING!?!?

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