Stezza Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 The Prologue "I'm fitting to see the block." CJ stepped out of his house onto the porch. He looked out across his neighborhood. To his right, he could see smoke billowing high into the air, as if 10 kettles were being boiled. Infront of him, he saw people with smashed TV's in his hands, muscly black men dealing drugs and gangmembers running around, looting the place. To his left, he could see that a crowd of homeless people were crowding around Tenpenny's dead body, kicking it and beating it. Boy, this is just like World War III, CJ thought. He stepped down onto the footpath and turned towards Denise's house. He hadn't seen her in days; they had there 5th date on Saturday. Now it's Wednesday, and he didn't want her to be lonely. As he turned into the alley that seperated his house from Ryder's house, a high Grove member came up to him, carrying a bong. "'Ey b----, you wanna star' me up?" the doped up homie said as he put both his fists up. "Man, shut the f--- up," CJ said in a disgusted tone as he gave a punch to his face. The Grove member, dased, fell down to the ground in an unconscious state. As the member's bong rolled away, CJ continued. He saw that the shouting died down. Nobody even came up to him and punched him, or shouted threats to him. Yep, all was calming down. He walked up Denise's path to her door. He didn't know what to say, because he was nervous. He rang Denise's new doorbell. The door opened and there was Denise, beautiful as ever, wearing a jean jacket with a white undershirt, and wearing tight jeans which were rolled up to her ankles. "Hi Denise," CJ said in a pleasant voice. She had a look on her face that said 'we've gotta talk'. "Denise honey, is everything alright?" CJ asked her. He had a look of concern on his face. "Yeah Carl, everything's alright baby. I've actually got some good news." "Oh yeah? And what's that?" "Carl...I'm pregnant." There you go. It's just a prologue. Hope you enjoyed it! Peace out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-(---- HiTMaN ----)- Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 lol thats pretty good, well done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA_Loco Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 Interesting piece stezza. I like the part when amidst the chaos in the neighborhood, CJ learned from Denise that she's pregnant. Sounds like a good material for a next GTA where CJ Jr. would take the limelight from his dad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-(---- HiTMaN ----)- Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 yea it is good, lol i cant write something like that if my life depended on it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA_Loco Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 yea it is good, lol i cant write something like that if my life depended on it That's only what you'd like think about yourself. It's all a matter of interest and determination. I have faith that you'd be able to write a good one as well someday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottae Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 Pretty good! I wish someone would reply to my fanfic though, I wrote a second chapter and it was ignored Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woozie-moo Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 I'm liking this stezza,and your description of denise acctually made her sound hot. well done have a cookie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oddsock Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 This is turning into a soap-opera script. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA_Loco Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 This is turning into a soap-opera script. CJ's life is a soap opera one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lochie_old Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 *Runs to karoke machine* We will not let CJ go! Let him go!!!! Mummia, Mummia, Figaro! Sorry... Haha, so theres gonna be a Carl Junior? Sweeet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stezza Posted April 16, 2006 Author Share Posted April 16, 2006 OK thanks for the comments everyone! Oddsock: Shut the f--- up. Chapter 2 "Um...OK...you're pregnant, I see..." "Ha ha ha..." Denise broke out into laughter, "I got you good, didn't I?" Denise continued laughing. "Yeah...I guess you did..." CJ breathed a sign of relief as he stepped inside and gave Denise a kiss on the cheek. "I got some good news myself," CJ said calmly as he sat down on Denise's saggy brown suede couch. "Tenpenny's dead." "Oh yeah? Good. I never trusted that punk-arse mark." Denise sat down with CJ on the couch and broke up into a lovely pash. Meanwhile at Los Santos International Airport... "Flight 437 from Belgrade, Yugoslavia, is coming in at Gate 11 at the Arrivals gate near the Burger Shot..." Melissa couldn't wait anymore. Her husband had been on vacation, visiting her brother in Yugoslavia. He had been gone for a week, and finally he's come home. Thankfully, she saw her husband walking down the gangway from the plane. He was a handsome man, wearing a black pinstriped suit, blue tie, and his black hair was gelled out completely. He's always liked the finer things in life: he drives an Admiral, he has French shoes, Italian suits and British sunglasses. "Hey honey, how are you?" Paul said in a happy tone as he came in to hug Melissa. Back in Ganton... "Why don't we turn on the TV?" Denise said as she grabbed the TV remote from her bedside table. She turned it onto 'SAM: San Andreas' Finest' and luckily it was the news. "Hello, good evening and welcome to San Andreas News. I'm Lianne Forget. In top stories tonight: Officer Frank Tenpenny, Officer Eddie Pulaski and Officer Jimmy Hernandez have been found dead in seperate locations. Tenpenny was found mutilated in Ganton, Los Santos, Pulaski had been found shot dead in a body bag in the Las Venturas desert, while Hernandez was found not far from Pulaski in a grave. Investigations are now underway. Since then, the Los Santos riots have calmed down considerably. And just recently, a car bomb has occured at Los Santos International Airport. It seems that Paul Rubicek and his wife Melissa had embraced after Paul arrived from a week long trip in Yugoslavia. His Admiral was reported to be found in flames as an explosion was heard from the control tower. Police found a burnt note on the dashboard saying 'The Ballas are back'. Police are still further investigating the event." "Poor guys," Denise quickly said as she continued to watch. But CJ had something on his mind. That note. 'The Ballas are back'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lochie_old Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 *Walks away from the karaoke machine* Its not a soap opera? Ah well... This seems interesting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stezza Posted April 16, 2006 Author Share Posted April 16, 2006 ...thanks for that Phush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mafiaking Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 not bad, not bad like the second part the best can't wait for the rest to see if the ballas return or not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA_Loco Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Now that's quite an interesting twist in the story. Too bad though you made it a joke about Denise being pregnant. That would have at least established a link in CJ's lifestory somehow however you'll end his current one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woozie-moo Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Lovin' this story,but I hope it doesn't go all 'gangsta' like a lot of fanfics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stezza Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 Chapter 3 "Hey honey, I'm 'a' go down to the airport. See what's what." Cj said as he hopped out of bed. "Alright then. Try not to get yourself blown up." "Fo' sho' baby," CJ said quickly as he put on a Black Hoodie, Beige Pants White Sneakers. "You don't mind if I take the car?" "Not at all. See ya!" "Bye baby," CJ quickly came in and gave Denise a peck on the cheek. Mean while in Willowfield... "A'ight everybody. Listen up!" Rabbitoh yelled out across the kitchen. "We gon' get these Grove bustas, and we gon' get 'em good. Right?" "Hell yeah!" the men shouted. They were all Ballas. Rabbitoh was the leader of their neighborhood set called the Front Flat 30's. He was a tall man, very athletic and was wearing a purple bandana around his head. He was wearing a white tank top, blue jeans and black sneakers. The other members in the room were Li'l' Ozzy and Biggie. Li'l' Ozzy was very short, but muscly. He wore a black beanie, purple hoodie. and beige pants. Biggie was humongous, literally. He was overweight, but he handled the gun like an eagle. He too was wearing a purple hoodie, with jeans and a purple bandana tied around his arm. "OK then. Y'all heated? Good. I want everybody to meet up back here in 5 minutes. Y'all understand?" At Los Santos Internation Airport... Carl pulled up into the parking lot of LSX. Police tape was tied around the a couple of parking blocks. 3 squad cars were there, a coroner's van and a detective's vechile were all parked around. As the Hustler came to a smooth stop, CJ got out. "Sorry sir, but you're not allowed in there." "Nah, I'm not. I'm just seein' what's in there." "But there's nothing here that is of your conc-" the officer was cut off by his dispatch mobile. "There's a 1-8-7 in Ganton. It seems that a woman's house was broken into and the woman was shot dead." Carl was getting suspicious. "Where's the address again?" the officer asked. "11 Angel Road, Ganton." "Alright, I'm on my way." Carl couldn't believe it. He knew the person who lived in that address. It was...Denise... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buttmonkey Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 *Dun Dun Duuuu* This is a good story, short but sweet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boss_ Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 is this finishd? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FelipeVinhao Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 Very good story! But... Shít! Denise dead?! She was always loaded, how could that happen?! (I couldn't resist the drama! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stezza Posted April 21, 2006 Author Share Posted April 21, 2006 This one is very short as I don't have much time... Chapter 4 CJ pulled up to Denise's house. It was surrounded by yellow police tape. Two parked patrol cars were parked on the nature strip infront of the house. People looked on in horror as they tried to assume what happened. "Denise!" CJ screamed as he jumped over the police tape and into the house. She saw Denise, lying on the floor, with two bullet holes in her. A pool of dark, red blood was under her. "Sir," an officer siad angrily, "you can NOT be anywhere near the victim." But CJ ignored him. "Denise...Denise...DENISE!!!" CJ roared with all his might as he went down on his knees, crying. As he cried, the officer picked up a note hanging halfway out from her pocket. It said on it... The Ballas are back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secure OG Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 NICE STORY I LIKE IT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick000 Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 This one is very short as I don't have much time... Chapter 4 CJ pulled up to Denise's house. It was surrounded by yellow police tape. Two parked patrol cars were parked on the nature strip infront of the house. People looked on in horror as they tried to assume what happened. "Denise!" CJ screamed as he jumped over the police tape and into the house. She saw Denise, lying on the floor, with two bullet holes in her. A pool of dark, red blood was under her. "Sir," an officer siad angrily, "you can NOT be anywhere near the victim." But CJ ignored him. "Denise...Denise...DENISE!!!" CJ roared with all his might as he went down on his knees, crying. As he cried, the officer picked up a note hanging halfway out from her pocket. It said on it... The Ballas are back. Wow, I wonder what happens next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pure Evil Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 I neva saw a small chapter like this but it sure thin is awesome!!! denise dead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pure Evil Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 I neva saw a small chapter like this but it sure thin is awesome!!! denise dead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stezza Posted April 23, 2006 Author Share Posted April 23, 2006 Thanks for the comments Nick and JFizzle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ziplocc Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 good story...ill be reading if you continue it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kippers Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Great 3 chapters, keep it up. Is there any need to go f--- and b----? GTAF will censor them for you Again, keep it up. Didn't seee chapter 4 there. Reading now 習うより慣れろ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stezza Posted April 26, 2006 Author Share Posted April 26, 2006 They censor it for you? Wow, didn't know that. I have to go now guys but soon, maybe tommorow or something, I'll write up Chapter 5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FelipeVinhao Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 I'm waiting it. Now Ballas deserve to die more than ever , although I feel sth strange here... but I won't spoil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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