MAcSandNinEs Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 I know the 'Trivia' got locked, but this is just a thread to post quotes that you think are funny/witty/retarded/plain awesome. Post in this format-- Quote:Movie:Actor/Character:Category: Example-- Quote: *Cough* *Cough*, "Oops, sorry, allergic to bullsh*t" Movie: I, Robot Actor/Character: Will Smith/Del Spooner Category: Funny/Witty USEFUL LINKS IMDB-JD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandthefter Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Quote: "You got red on you" Movie: Shaun Of The Dead Actor/Character: Simon Pegg/Shaun Category: Romantic Zombie Comedy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TenaciousD. Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Quote: "First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, well, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have... reproductive organs under those tiny, white pants. It's just so illogical, about being a Smurf, you know? I mean, what's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?" Movie: Donnie Darko Actor/Character: Jake Gyllenhaal/ Donnie Darko Category: Drama/Mystery/Sci-Fi/Thriller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andyzoot Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Henry: Funny. You're really funny. Tommy: What do you mean? Henry: It's funny, you know. It's a good story. You're a funny guy. Tommy: You mean the way I talk? What? Henry: It's just, you know. You're just funny. You know, the way you tell the story. Tommy: Funny how? What's funny about it? Johnny Eyes: You got it all wrong. Tommy: He's a big boy. He knows what he said. Funny, how? Henry: Just, you know. You're funny. Tommy: Let me understand this. Maybe I'm a little f*cked up. But I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I'm here to f*cking amuse you? What do you mean, funny? How am I funny? Henry: You know, how you tell a story. Tommy: I don't know. You said it. You said I'm funny. How am I funny? What the f*ck is so funny about me? Tell me what's funny. Henry: ........Get the f*ck out of here, Tommy. Tommy: Motherf*cker! I almost had him. Movie: Goodfellas Actors/Characters: Ray Liotta:-Henry Hill Joe Pesci:-Tommy De Vito Category: Crime/Mafia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venom Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Quote: Well, I gotta tell you: I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that, because the person who wrote that... is dangerous. And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you. Tyler's words coming out of my mouth. And I used to be such a nice guy. Movie: Fight Club Actor/Character: "Jack" Category:Action / Thriller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blaster Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Quote: Jules: What does Marcellus Wallace look like? Brett: What? Jules: What country you from? Brett: What? Jules: What ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What? Brett: What? Jules: ENGLISH, MOTHERf*ckER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT? Movie: Pulp Fiction Actor/Character: Samuel L. Jackson/Jules Category: Crime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwishihadbroadband Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Carly, the leader of his youth prison wing, is invited to a fight with the rival youth prison wing. They are both told not to bring any weapons. Carly: Where's your tool?Leader of A Wing: What fackin tool? Carly: THIS FACKIN TOOL! *beats up leader of A wing with crowbar* Movie: Scum Character: Carly Category: Violence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAcSandNinEs Posted February 22, 2006 Author Share Posted February 22, 2006 When I said 'category', I meant of the quote. The category of my quote was funny and witty. Not the movie! .-JD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mafia Righthand_Man Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 Quote: Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey fa**ot balls. Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer. Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey fa**ot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (withdraws his gun) And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... f*ck off. Movie:Snatch Actor/Character:Explained. Category:Funny/Kinda have to watch the movie to understand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demarest Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 I hate to be a foregone conclusion, but my favorite movie quote is at the bottom of this page. I'm not a big fan of division and people trying to control others, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuff_luv_capo Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 I hate to be a foregone conclusion, but my favorite movie quote is at the bottom of this page. I'm not a big fan of division and people trying to control others, etc. What a tool. Anyways, mine is Quote:"With my little stick and my highly evolved brain, (Tries to point at his brain but pokes himself in the eye.) I shall create fire." Movie: Ice Age Actor/Character: John Leguizamo (Sid the Sloth) Category: Cute/funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthYENIK Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Quote:"I find your lack of faith disturbing" Movie: Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope Actor(s)/Character: David Prowse/James Earl Jones/Darth Vader Catagory: Menacing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA3Rockstar Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Quote:"Does he look like a bitch." Movie: Pulp Fiction Actor/Character: John Leguizamo (Jules) Category: Action Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonny_Tightlips Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Quote:"Does he look like a bitch."Movie: Pulp Fiction Actor/Character: John Leguizamo (Jules) Category: Action Erm, John Leguizamo wasn't in PF. Jules was played by Sam Jackson. ...besides that I ain't sayin nuthin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAcSandNinEs Posted February 25, 2006 Author Share Posted February 25, 2006 Yeah. You guys seem to find crime/mafia movies really funny.-JD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-Structo Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 Heh, Pulp Fiction wins. Quote: ENGLISH, MOTHERf*ckER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT? Movie: Pulp Fiction Actor/Character: Samuel Jackson/Jules Category: Action/Crime/Drama From the same actor: [Ezekiel 25:17 among others] The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. A dialog between Bruce Willis and Maria de Medeiros: Fabienne: Whose motorcycle is this? Butch: It's a chopper, baby. Fabienne: Whose chopper is this? Butch: It's Zed's. Fabienne: Who's Zed? Butch: Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead. Quote: I am Jack's smirking revenge. Movie: Fight Club Actor/Character: Ed Norton/Narrator Category: Crime/Drama/Thriller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Pink Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Dr Gonzo (Benicio Del Torro) is leaving on a plane, while Raoul's(Johnny Depp) watching him and pondering... Raoul Duke:" There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. " Upon taking acid and picking up a hithhiker (guy who plays Spiderman) Raoul Duke: How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me? ＲＵＢＢΣＲ░Ｊ♢ＨＮＮＹ （スオッ） Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crokey Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Quote:Anything by Doctor Cox Movie TV Show: Scrubs Actor/Character:Johnny C McGinley / Dr Cox Category: Funny No Seriously it is from Scrubs: Quote: "Hey Bob-o, now when the Dark prince finally does call you home, please promise me you'll donate your body to Science, and I don't mean medical science I mean NASA. Because when those buzzcuts have all but given up on trying to figure out just exactly what a Black Hole is and they get one look at that space where your heart is supposed to be, well by gum you know they're just gonna say 'Oor yucks, thats what it is'" Movie: Scrubs Actor/Character:Johnny C McGinley / Dr Cox Category: Funny ----------- Quote: 'A Person is clever, its the people who are stupid' Movie: Men in Black Actor/Character: Tommy Lee Jones / Agent 'something-or-other' Category: Observational ----------- Quote: - 'Listen McClane, you the wrong guy, in the wrong place, at the wrong time' - 'Story of my Life' Movie: Die Hard 2 Actor/Character: John McClane / Bruce Willis Category: Wit GC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ssj4Bear Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Quote: "It's like a dollar an hour" Movie: Napoleon Dynamite Actor/Character: Jon Heder/Napoleon Category: Comedy/Drama Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woozie-moo Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 quote:Happy now ass-wipe? Movie:Anger Manegment Actor/Charecter:I'm not sure what the charedter is called as he's a side charecter not intergal to the story line Catogary:Funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runestoner Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 Movie- Bad Santa Wonan- Hay Look It's Santa, Lets tell him what you want for Christmas Willy- Im on my f*cking lunch break, OK? Woman- Are you insane? Managments gonna hear about this. Willy- You think that's a threat? You think you can make my life any worse, be my f*cking guest take a shot. Actor- Billy Bob Thorton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Baker1 Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 Id have to say the one in my siggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crokey Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 How could I forget this one from the same movie I mentioned earlier, durr Quote: 'Yippee-Ki-Yay Motherf*cker' Movie: Die Hard 2 Actor/Character: Bruce Willis / John McClane Category: Funny one liner Actually that films full of them. Quote: 'How can the same sh*t happen to the same guy twice' Movie: Die Hard 2 Actor/Character: Bruce Willis / John McClane Category: Funny one liner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WidowMaker Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Gotta say, these are all f*cking sh*te so far. Except for the Fear and Loathing concerning Dr Gonzo, which while not exclusive to that movie, is a really nice quote. Please, paste more Pulp Fiction quotes, because I think you guys are still missing a couple before you have the entire f*cking script here. "In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed — they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The nice personoo clock." The Third Man, look it up some time, you f*cking philistines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thyzza Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Gotta say, these are all f*cking sh*te so far. Except for the Fear and Loathing concerning Dr Gonzo, which while not exclusive to that movie, is a really nice quote. Please, paste more Pulp Fiction quotes, because I think you guys are still missing a couple before you have the entire f*cking script here. "In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed — they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The nice personoo clock." The Third Man, look it up some time, you f*cking philistines. Their quoting is justified, to be fair. But I also agree, there are other movies out there besides Pulp Fiction, Goodfellas and Fight Club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caponester Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Quote: "Whatever I wanna do... GOSH!" Movie: Napoleon Dynamite Actor/Character: Napoleon Dynamite Category: Funny one liner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OBrien97 Posted March 31, 2006 Share Posted March 31, 2006 Quote: "Now yous CAN'T leave" Movie: A Bronx Tale Actor/Character: Chazz Palminteri as Sonny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Pink Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Father Ted... POLICEMAN- It's a straight choice father. Either they pay the 200 pound fine, or it's a night in the cells TED- Well, priests don't usually carry that sort of money on them, and under the circumstances, I think a night cells might be a better option POLICEMAN- (Nods his head) DOUGAL- Ted.... TED- Shutup Dougal DOUGAL- No Ted.... TED- I told you to shutup Dougal DOUGAL- I was just going to say that.... TED- Alright! Alright! Here! (pulls out the money) Here's your blood money.But let me tell you this! There used to be a time when the police of this country were friends of the church! Drink driving charges quashed, parking tickets ripped up, even the blind eye turned to the odd murder! But now!(Turns to Dougal) And you! (Mocking Dougal) Ted Ted why don't you give him the 200 pounds you won on the bet! Well i did! Are you happy? Once again, you've made me look like a complete idiot in front of many people. Thank you so much. DOUGAL- Ehh, Right. To be honest Ted, i forgot you had the money. I was just going to say that your that your fly is open. here's another one....... Mrs Doyle: Won't you have some cake, Father? It's got cocaine in it. Oh no, hang on, it's not cocaine, is it. What do I mean now? - the little things... Raisins! ＲＵＢＢΣＲ░Ｊ♢ＨＮＮＹ （スオッ） Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thyzza Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Father Ted... POLICEMAN- It's a straight choice father. Either they pay the 200 pound fine, or it's a night in the cells TED- Well, priests don't usually carry that sort of money on them, and under the circumstances, I think a night cells might be a better option POLICEMAN- (Nods his head) DOUGAL- Ted.... TED- Shutup Dougal DOUGAL- No Ted.... TED- I told you to shutup Dougal DOUGAL- I was just going to say that.... TED- Alright! Alright! Here! (pulls out the money) Here's your blood money.But let me tell you this! There used to be a time when the police of this country were friends of the church! Drink driving charges quashed, parking tickets ripped up, even the blind eye turned to the odd murder! But now!(Turns to Dougal) And you! (Mocking Dougal) Ted Ted why don't you give him the 200 pounds you won on the bet! Well i did! Are you happy? Once again, you've made me look like a complete idiot in front of many people. Thank you so much. DOUGAL- Ehh, Right. To be honest Ted, i forgot you had the money. I was just going to say that your that your fly is open. here's another one....... Mrs Doyle: Won't you have some cake, Father? It's got cocaine in it. Oh no, hang on, it's not cocaine, is it. What do I mean now? - the little things... Raisins! LOL, they were excellent. Father Ted > all other comedies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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