Holmes Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Okay, my last story bombed, badly. Maybe n00bs can't get the interest they want these days, , but joking aside, I thought I'd have another crack at it and compiled a prologue informing you of the events that have happened since the end of the game. Hope you like it! Tenpenny had been killed, and the gang had decided to visit Cluckin' Bell for a slap up celbratory feed. However, the good times could not last for long, as life's always biting you in the arse. A few months after Tenpenny's much wanted departure, Kendl became pregnant with Cesar's child. It was born some time later and because of it's arrival, Grove fell flat. The Grove Street Families had a heated Gang War with the Ballas, killing over 42 gang members in total. CJ had then thought of starting a new gang called Base, re-uniting Cesar, Kendl, Sweet and Toreno. The search was on... A lot of things can change in 5 years, CJ's no stranger with that field. - Holmes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beanmachine43 Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Well, instead of just writing a simple introduction for the first post like last time, you should start posting the actual story. Still, I think the concept of CJ and the gang re-uniting and starting anew is pretty sweet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes Posted January 4, 2006 Author Share Posted January 4, 2006 Right then... (may contain profanity) 27th Jan 1997: What cocks those guys are at Transfender. Ever since Frank Fender left, it all went downhill. They never had any good parts anymore, like those Slamin exausts I used to get, but now it's all "Streamline this" and "Non-gansta that". Man, if those dicks actually opened their ears and listened to customers they'd be set. Mind you, if they did open their ears, I'd probably piss in it... CJ screeched outside and sent bits of gravel spraying all over the little pricks who lived across from Cesar. He didn't want little Gonzales mixing with those fags. Although Gonzales was a Vialpando, he'd probably end up shooting those pussies one day. "Cesar?" CJ opened the small hatch door and stood in the hallway "Kendl?" There was a silence, and for a rare moment CJ began to worry. He trooped upstairs where he saw Gonzales' toys strewn about the floor in his room. CJ wished he had paid more attention however, as he took one step onto a toy fire engine and went sliding down the stairs on his back, right on top of Cesar, who was now at the bottom scooping up toys. "Sorry Ceez... man..." CJ slowly scanned the floor, which was strewn with toys "Handful?" "CJ, you're not even close..." He threw a Tommy Vercetti doll in a nearby box "That little sh*t commands your life... but I love him all the same... he's a Vialpando." Kendl came marching in with Gonzales in her arms "Oooh, can you feel the love?" CJ had remembered Kendl's sarcasm in the early days and had to chuckle. "Very funny" Kendl literally dumped Gonzales in Cesar's arms "He needs changing, he got to excited while watching "Boyz in the Hood" on TV" She turned to CJ, who stiffled a laugh "Sorry we didn't here you come in, three doors worth of a sound barrier, kinda pisses me off a bit, but..." She turned round and tickled Gonzales' chin "it's all worth it isn't it? Yes it is! Yes it is!" CJ had never imagined that Kendl could be so motherly. Kinda reminded him of Moms, and he smiled, remembering all the good times he had. His memory bubble burst when Kendl piped up. "I'm going to George's 24-7, anyone want anything?" both of them shook their heads, already moving into the living room as Kendl left. - Holmes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
da gta master Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Nice Keep it up, I want to read the next part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes Posted January 4, 2006 Author Share Posted January 4, 2006 It was the boy's Saturday. Cesar took care of the baby while Kendl had some time to shop and go out with friends. He was happy to do it; the thought of him having a mini Vialpando to yeach all of tricks to was intoxicating to him. After a while of watching TV, eating junk and talking about old times, Gonzales fell asleep, which left the boys to talk. "Cesar" CJ said with a tone of curiousity "Remember when I said we're gonna bust the gang scene yet again?" Cesar nodded, as he pulled the cheese of his slice of pizza with his teeth. "Well I was thinking... thinking of starting a new gang... Base" There was an awkward silence, where Cesar chewed his pizza topic for what seemed like the whole weekend. "Remember what happened to the Grove when you wanted things to change?" CJ cast his mind back, to when he found out Smoke had been involved in "The Drive By", and the moment he held that gun to his head... "What we must be careful of, if we are to suceed..." Cesar continued "Is that we keep our heads down, so we don't get sniffed out by the Ballas that are left, and the new gang Black Magic." CJ remembered this too, that about a year after Tenpenny's death, a ring of people started a gang and siezed control of Vinewood. They dressed very smartly, with tailored pants and jacket/vest combos. They were sneaky, not forward enough to be detected by the fuzz. CJ piped up after his thoughts. "So..." he got up of the couch and walked over to Cesar "You in, homie?" Cesar didn't even think, before he said "f*ck yeah! Let's take control again! As Base!" CJ and Cesar shook hands and pulled into a hug, chanting so loudly that Gonzales woke, crying. "Oh sh*t..." "Don't worry, he'll drop off..." "Will he f*ck..." "HEY!" Kendl stood in the doorway, carrying paper bags and a ZIP bag "No swearing in front of Gonzales!" Cesar piped up "Kendl, he's 1 year old! He can't even sh*t right yet!" "I don't care..." She set her bags down and almost in a different mood altogether said "So, you boys going out then?" CJ thought were they could go for a moment and gestured to Cesar to say something. "Uhh, yeah!" Cesar chimed "We're... going to see..." "A movie!" CJ interrupted. Cesar clapped his hands "Yeah, a movie! Bye Kendl!" and seconds later he kissed her and took of to the garage where his beloved Savanna was waiting, CJ in tow. - Holmes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beanmachine43 Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 CJ thought were they could go for a moment and gestured to Cesar to say something."Uhh, yeah!" Cesar chimed "We're... going to see..." "A movie!" CJ interrupted. Cesar clapped his hands "Yeah, a movie! Bye Kendl!" and seconds later he kissed her and took of to the garage where his beloved Savanna was waiting, CJ in tow. Hehe, that's exactly how I would imagine Cesar reacting in a situation like that. There is only one minor issue I have with the story. While it did improve on the second post, there was still alot of cramped up words together; really hard on the eyes. If you could just space out the words a little, not even really in paragraphs, just so you can tell when a character is speaking and when the narrorator is describing the situation. Definitely a good read, especially for a GTA fan-fic, maybe the best one yet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes Posted January 5, 2006 Author Share Posted January 5, 2006 Thanks everybody! As Cesar and CJ drove past Reeces' Barber Shop, they talked about old times yet again, pointing out the buildings and the times that had passed. They laughed as CJ pointed out the spot where Cesar had tried to retrieve a frisby on the beach and fell over a pipe into a manhole. "Knedl wouldn't even touch you!" said CJ as he howled with laughter. It didn't take much time for Cesar to fight back in the humiliation stakes, when he told CJ how he once made a car with Sweet out of a stolen Bloodring Banger, and how he tried to look for a stray bullet clip in the exhaust, and ended up with a faceful of smoke and soot. "Hey, now come on!" CJ replied "That was not me!" "Since when does Sweet not have his hat on holmes?" They had only just stopped laughing as they pulled into Cluckin' Bell car park for a bite to eat. They grabbed a table, ordered food and started to eat while joking about the gang scene. (Only a short entry for now. Be back soon!) - Holmes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beanmachine43 Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 Nice read, but I can't resist pointing out a few misplaced/non-placed commas. Plus, like I have alot of problems with writing, I see alot of mixing with the past and present tenses. Just try to stick with one and it will sound much better; belive me. Anyway, still a good read, but rather short. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes Posted January 7, 2006 Author Share Posted January 7, 2006 CJ was just getting tucked into his chicken wings from the Cluckin' Huge Meal when 5 members of the Black Magic Posse came bustling through the door. They casually swaggered down to the counter where a dis-interested 16 year old trainee was standng, wearing a chicken head and a gravy stained name tag. The posse were donned in black tweed and white vests, and a personal medallion associated with their name. CJ and Cesar watched carefully, as a gang leader leaned right over and stroked her cheek. "Listen babee..." he slurred, still stroking her cheek "You wanna be my bitch?" The girl clicked her tongue, fanned her hair behind her shoulders and replied. "Ew, no, you gonna order some food?" At that moment, the leader grabbed her round the neck and held a gun to her head. Quick as a flash, Cesar was up and aiming his SMG at him. CJ ducked and rolled behind the table adjacent to theirs. "Leave her alone ese!" Cesar threatened. "Don't make me go rapid fire on yo' ass!" CJ added. The Black Magic Posse just scowled and threw the girl to the ground, who then ran to the kitchen. Then, they brandished AK-47's they had hidden under their jackets. "f*ck!" CJ cried "What are they, Houldini?" "I wouldn't have said anything if I'd've known!" chuckled Cesar. A massive gunfight ensued, sending broken glass and blood everywhere. One member of the Black Magic Posse was peppered with bullets and sent flying over the counter onto the cooker. A flurry of table chunks surrounded Cesar, who crawled further along the restaurant under another table. CJ continued to fire at the gang and shouted to Cesar, who was aiming for a headshot. "Cesar! We gotta fly! They gonna kill us!" "Okay holmes, uno momento!" and he popped a single bullet at a gang member's head, sending an explosion of blood and bits of head firing against the wall. "Ha! Okay, ready!" At that, CJ wasted his entire round at a nearby window, leapt onto a table and dived out of a window, right on top of a car bonnet. Cesar wasn't far behind as he dived out too and went flying over CJ into a dumpster. "We gotta go homie!" CJ cried "Look! Over there!" CJ was pointing at a scooter sitting idle outside a warehouse. However, Cesar didn't need indication and hopped on. "Come on!" Cesar cried, and with that CJ sat on the back, still looking out for Black Magic back up... - Holmes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beanmachine43 Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Black Magic, what an interesting name. You want to see a little of my "Black Magic?" Anyway, nice addition. I like how it's exactly like the GTA series; random acts of violence everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes Posted January 8, 2006 Author Share Posted January 8, 2006 No racism intended by the way, just Black Magic sounds like it involves some Voodoo in there. I'll do my next entry tomorrow. Stay tuned! - Holmes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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