Favourite Tv + Film quotes?

[Tartey]

Whats your favourite Tv and film quotes? Here are a few of mine :-

 

Harry Callahan: Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.

The Mayor: Intent? How did you establish that?

Harry Callahan: When a man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a #######, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!

 

Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry.

 

 

I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?

 

Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry.

 

"I'll be back"

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Terminator 2

 

" If it bleeds we can kill it"

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Predator.

 

"Asta la Vista Baby"

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Terminator 2.

 

 

anyone else got some personal favourites?

 

 

 

[Professional Moron]

you can't go past most of the stuff said by Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket

 

My personal favourites from this movie are...

 

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy f***ing walrus-looking piece of sh*t. Get the f*** off of my obstacle. Get the f*** down off of my obstacle. Now. Move it. I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world. I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo.

 

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Oh that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any f***ing effort to get to the top of the f***ing obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?

 

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Pyle, you climb obstacles like old people f***.

 

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Holy dog sh*t. Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?

Private: Sir, no, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullsh*t! I et you could suck a golfball through a garden hose!

 

And my all time favourite from this movie....

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you, private?

Private Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked sh*t that high.

 

hmm...a lot of swearing in this movie...but it does make it so funny.

Also Hugh Laurie plays house exceptionally and there are some great comments to be heard.

 

I think i went a bit over the top but as i was looking at different quotes i found so many that are so funny....My bad....

[Tartey]

Keep em comming guys n gals

 

Heh nice quotes there Prof, i haven't seen full metal jacket yet lol

[King of Liberty City]

"If you give away our position again, I'll bleed you."

 

I forget what movie...

[Corzaa]

"We are not guys, we are extremly hot chicks with large breasts."

 

- Dude,Wheres My Car?

 

"Oh, there you are."

"Do I know you?"

"No, but there you are,you're there!"

 

- Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery

 

"He has a five year plan."

"What is it? Don't die"?

 

- Big Daddy

 

"Yippi kay ey...Motherf*cker"

 

- Die Hard

 

"Sorry kids, I just can't trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

 

- South Park,Bigger Longer & Uncut

 

"Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played girl bunny?"

*Cracks up laughing* "No... No!"

"Neither did I. I was just asking."

 

- Waynes World

Edited September 22, 2005 by Corzaa

[King of Liberty City]

"Oh, there you are."

"Do I know you?"

"No, but there you are,you're there!"

 

That reminds me.

 

"That's one crazy getup you got there, partner. You in the show?"

"No, actually, I'm English."

"Oh...I'm so sorry..."

 

 

[Tartey]

"If you give away our position again, I'll bleed you."

 

I forget what movie...

Predator

 

i think Mac said it to carl.

 

 

[Mar]

Much Ado about Nothing.

 

It's really my favorite quote ever, but it's also in a movie, so it counts !

 

 

Sigh no more, ladies, sigh nor more;

    Men were deceivers ever;

One foot in sea and one on shore,

    To one thing constant never;

        Then sigh not so,

        But let them go,

    And be you blithe and bonny;

Converting all your sounds of woe

    Into. Hey nonny, nonny.

 

Sing no more ditties, sing no mo,

    Or dumps so dull and heavy;

The fraud of men was ever so,

    Since summer first was leavy.

        Then sigh not so,

        But let them go,

    And be you blithe and bonny,

Converting all your sounds of woe

    Into. Hey, nonny, nonny.

Edited September 28, 2005 by Mar

[Guglielminpietro]

Practically the whole Pulp Fiction script could go in here.

 

Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?

 

[-shaDow]

I quote Seinfeld almost daily.

[TEoS]

Man With No Name: [counting Angel Eyes' men] One, two, three, four, five, and six. Six, the perfect number.

Angel Eyes: I thought three was the perfect number.

Man With No Name: I've got six more bullets in my gun

--------------------------------------

Baker: Here, this is for you. You did a good job for me.

[hands over a purse]

Angel Eyes: Oh I almost forgot. He payed me a thousand. I think his idea was that I kill you.

[they both laugh]

Angel Eyes: But you know the pity is when I'm paid, I always follow my job through. You know that.

Baker: Noo! Angel Eyes!

[he is shot through a pillow]

----------------------------------------

Man With No Name: You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.

-----------------------------------------

Tuco: God is on our side because he hates the Yanks.

Man With No Name: God is not on our side because he hates idiots also.

[Approaching soldiers reveal that they are dust coasted Yankees]

[Vanzant]

"no, no, no...no more foreplay take me to Janus" - Goldeneye

 

"It's a four ton Van Tyrone it isn't a f*cking packet of peanuts! - Snatch

 

"Are all those your lunches? Have you been eating other peoples lunches? STOP IT!!!!!!!! - Kindergarten Cop

 

"Billy, you don't have to be embarrassed if your dick gets hard. That's the whole object of this. Taggart's dick is hard but he won't let you know 'cause he's the boss. Boss' dick got to stay limp, right? See, I ain't on duty so my dick can be hard." - Eddie Murphy /beverly Hills Cop

 

Homeless Man Help a cripple! Help a homeless! Help a Vietnam vet walk again! Help a cripple! Thank you, sir! Help a Veitnam vet walk again! Help a cripple! Thank you, sir!

(Poter grabs all of the money out of the homeless man's hat)

Homeless Man: Hey, what the f*ck you doin!

(Then the man gets up and Porter chokes him) "Shut up, I cured ya'! " - Payback

[Kutthroat]

Arrested Development:

 

George Sr: "Daddy horny, Michael."

 

Carl Weathers: "Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's still plenty of meat on that bone. Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going."

 

Carl Weathers: "Now wait a minute. This is just purely a social call. You know, just two adults getting a stew on, man."

Buster: "I don't know what that means, but it sounds disgusting."

 

Carl Weathers: "Let me tell you a little story about acting. I was doing this Showtime movie, Hot Ice with Anne Archer, never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup... baby, I got a stew going."

 

God, I love Carl Weathers.

 

[JoeyLeone25]

Jules: Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet sh*t! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster's Choice, but he springs this serious GOURMET sh*t on us! What flavor is this?

Jimmie: Knock it off, Jules.

Jules: [pause] What?

Jimmie: I don't need you to tell me how f*cking good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys sh*t. Me, I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I wanjt to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead ni**er in my garage.

Jules: Oh, Jimmie, don't even worry about that...

Jimmie: No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead ni**er Storage?

Jules: Jimmie, you know I ain't seen no...

Jimmie: Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead ni**er Storage?

Jules: [pause] No. I didn't.

Jimmie: You know WHY you didn't see that sign?

Jules: Why?

Jimmie: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead ni**ers ain't my f*cking business, that's why!

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Vincent: And you know what they call a... a... a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?

Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?

Vincent: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the f*ck a Quarter Pounder is.

Jules: Then what do they call it?

Vincent: They call it a Royale with cheese.

Jules: A Royale with cheese. What do they call a Big Mac?

Vincent: Well, a Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it le Big-Mac.

Jules: Le Big-Mac. Ha ha ha ha. What do they call a Whopper?

Vincent: I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jules: What does Marcellus Wallace look like?

Brett: What?

Jules: What country you from?

Brett: What?

Jules: What ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?

Brett: What?

Jules: ENGLISH, MOTHERf*ckER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?

Brett: Yes!

Jules: Then you know what I'm saying!

Brett: Yes!

Jules: Describe what Marcellus Wallace looks like!

Brett: What, I-?

Jules: [pointing his gun] Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherf*cker. Say what one more goddamn time.

Brett: He's b-b-black...

Jules: Go on.

Brett: He's bald...

Jules: Does he look like a bitch?

Brett: What?

[Jules shoots Brett in shoulder]

Jules: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?

Brett: No!

Jules: Then why you try to f*ck him like a bitch, Brett?

Brett: I didn't.

Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to f*ck him. And Marcellus Wallace don't like to be f*cked by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.

 

Le Pulp Fiction.

Edited September 26, 2005 by JoeyLeone25

[SWEETSAPRIK]

Arrested Development:

 

George Sr: "Daddy horny, Michael."

 

Carl Weathers: "Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's still plenty of meat on that bone. Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going."

 

Carl Weathers: "Now wait a minute. This is just purely a social call. You know, just two adults getting a stew on, man."

Buster: "I don't know what that means, but it sounds disgusting."

 

Carl Weathers: "Let me tell you a little story about acting. I was doing this Showtime movie, Hot Ice with Anne Archer, never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup... baby, I got a stew going."

 

God, I love Carl Weathers.

 

How could you leave out one of his best quotes of all time?

 

Carl Weathers in "Action Jackson" right before he roasts a guy with a flamethrower:

"How do you like your ribs?"

 

Billy Zane in "Demon Knight"

"F*ck this cowboy sh!t! You f*cking ho-dunk, po-dunk, well then there motherf*ckers!"

 

Samuel L Jacksons bit from "Pulp fiction"

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

Also:

"English motherf*cker do you speak it?"

 

Bullet Tooth Tony's bit from "Snatch"

"Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey f**got balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (withdraws his gun) And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... F*ck off."

 

Dennis Farina in "Get Shorty" talking about L.A.

"They say the f*cking smog is the f*cking reason you have such beautiful f*cking sunsets."

 

 

[Kutthroat]

How could you leave out one of his best quotes of all time?

 

I only wanted to bother with Arrested quotes.

[Mar]

Edit: I just figured out I already posted in this topic.

[Smashdamit]

"Dying ain't much of a living"-The Outlaw Josey Wales

[Grandthefter]

"You got red on you" - Shaun of The Dead

[Tartey]

"You got red on you" - Shaun of The Dead

Rofl, i just watched that

 

Love the scene when ed's trying to take a pic of shaun and the zombie

[Smashdamit]

"The Statue of Liberty is kaput.Thats disconcerting"-Saving Private Ryan

[_NightHawk_]

Blade III-

 

When Ryan Reynolds is running through the building and sees the vampire dog-

 

Aaah... f*ck me...

 

Then two Giant dogs come

 

Aaah... f*ck me runnin'!

 

Big Daddy-

 

I CAN WIPE MY OWN ASS!

 

The first... 30-45 mins of Full Metal Jacket...

 

"I Don't know what I been told!"

(Squad echos)

"But eskmo pu**y is mighty cold!"

 

 

I have more, but I just can't think of 'em... to tired.

[TEoS]

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We'd just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin' by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that shark he go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol' fat PBY come down and started to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

[_NightHawk_]

xXx:

Xander Cage:Dude, you have a bazooka. Stop thinking Prague Police and start thinking Playstation. Blow sh*t up!

 

Boiler Room:

Greg Weinstein: Don't you have a canoli you can stick in your mouth?

Chris Varick: Don't you have a menorah you could shove up your ass?

 

The Chronicles of Riddick:

Slam Guard: You'll kill us... with a soup cup?

Richard B. Riddick: Tea, actually.

Slam Guard: What's that?

Richard B. Riddick: I'll kill you with my teacup.

-

Richard B. Riddick: You made three mistakes. First, you took the job. Second, you came light. A four man crew for me? F*cking insulting. But the worst mistake you made...

[Toombs darts for the gun rack which he finds to be empty while Riddick smiles]

Richard B. Riddick: ...empty gun rack.

-

Richard B. Riddick: [to Imam] Now who do I have to kill to get this payday off my head?

-

Lord Marshal: What do you think of this blade?

[Riddick grabs it, spins it around over and under his hand; catches it blade facing him and offers it back to the Lord Marshal]

Richard B. Riddick: I think it's a half-gram heavy on the back end.

-

Lord Marshal: Give me your soul, Furyan.

Richard B. Riddick: [punches him] F*ck you!

 

 

And that's just my Vin Diesel quotes...

[Sly_Madman]

Predator: Arnold stabs a guy with a knife and pins him to the wall then says "Stick around..."

[[GTA Man]cycon77foamy[GTA Man]]

Here's my fave quotes:

 

The Shawshank Redemption

Inmate: When do we eat?

Cpt Hadley Walks Over To Him

Cpt Hadley: You eat when we say you eat, you s*** when we say you s*** and you pee when we say you pee. You got that you maggot di** Motherf****r.

Hits guy with baton in gut.

Cpt Hadley: On your feet.

 

 

 

Deck Dogz

After Spasm crakcs his nuts on a rail.

Tony Hawk: So hows the kids? Pointing at Spasms groin

 

After Poker makes a big lump of poo

Poker: Id like to see Spasm ollie of this!

[Goodfella.]

 

Sean: Beer and pussy. That's all I need.

Ronald: We gotta find ourselves a Smurfette.

Sean: Smurfette?

Ronald: Yeah, not some tight-ass Middlesex chick, right? Like this cute little blonde that will get down and dirty with the guys. Like Smurfette does.

Donnie: Smurfette doesn't f*ck.

Ronald: That's bullsh*t. Smurfette f*cks all the other Smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.

Sean: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.

Ronald: Okay, then, you know what? She f*cks them and Vanity watches. Okay?

Sean: What about Papa Smurf? I mean, he must get in on all the action.

Ronaldr: Yeah, what he does, he films the gang-bang, and he beats off to the tape.

Donnie: [shouts] First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, well, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have... reproductive organs under those tiny, white pants. It's just so illogical, about being a Smurf, you know? I mean, what's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?

Sean: [pause] Dammit, Donnie. Why you gotta get all smart on us?

 

 

Sean: [at the bus stop ] Good sh*t, eh?

Donnie: Dude, it's a f*cking cigarette.

 

Donnie: [under hypnosis] Hungry Hungry Hippos!

 

 

Mr. Blonde: are you gonna bite all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite?

 

 

Cat Admiring Customer: Cute cat. What's his name?

Randal Graves: Annoying customer.

Cat Admiring Customer: [grabs pack of cigarettes] f*ckin' dickhead.

 

Dante Hicks: Hey, whatcha rent?

[reads the cover to Randal's videotape]

Dante Hicks: "Best of Both Worlds"?

Randal Graves: Hermaphroditic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box. Beautiful chicks with dicks that put mine to shame.

Dante Hicks: And you rented this?

Randal Graves: Hey, I like to expand my horizons.

 

Randal Graves: Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?

Dante Hicks: "Empire".

Randal Graves: Blasphemy!

Dante Hicks: "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.

 

I could of thrown the whole Clerks script in there, but that'd take too much time.