GTA San Andreas Funny Quotes Thread

[Slamman]

When Maccer is whacking off ad paul tries to get him to stop and says the name ........ can't remember but she is ugly im assuming.... and Maccer is like "Ohhhh (name)"

 

Thatcher. She was the Prime Minister of Britain in 1992 at the time, and if you ever saw her...well, euch!

Just listen to any 1980s Roger Waters (ex-Pink Floyd bassist) album for many a disparaging [sp?] remarks about Margeret Thatcher, refeerred to as Maggie there

hehe

I still like those lines I mentioned... Some of the ones repeated are heard from the onset of the game...we're looking for rare ones that catch ya by surprise I thought.

Radio being the exception, by and large. GTA3 and Vice quotes here??? That I don't get

[kadoosh]

 

"I know all the public bathrooms in the city"

 

 

The hottest thing with that quote is I have heard a follow up on it. I can't remember how it goes but it's discussing the different bathrooms toilet papers.

[Olve]

On the ambulance radio; voice one is requesting someone to drive to Chinatown.

Voice two replies really irritated "Which Chinatown!!?!?"

[eatnails]

I was at the gym on the beach...guy walks by and says 'I'm not gay...but you smell good'.

[Slamman]

On the ambulance radio; voice one is requesting someone to drive to Chinatown.

Voice two replies really irritated "Which Chinatown!!?!?"

There's a funny one I might have heard...Come on people, dig a bit deeper! I'm keeping some paper and pen nearby to get them down if they really grab me by the funny bone. Often it can seem out of context to fall flat. The character voices really add to the reality of a situation but often times they can also sound too much alike. I'm a humor whore. I love the funny factor in these games and wish it was even higher. Satire and parady can be easily hit and miss though

Bill

[timmy2004]

Best quotes:

 

Ammunation Ad - 'God I sound like hot sh*t on that commerical!'

 

Ammunation Ad - 'Win a genuine anti aircraft gun from when we wooped ausrtalia's ass!'

 

Ped - 'Underwear is overated'

I hate how they rip Australia off . But they do it with many countries. It's so funny how they are always historically incorrect!

[Hitokiri Gentatsu]

I heard some ped say something along the lines of "you ever tried incest?" I found that funny.

[Hansmaan]

James Woods little spiel about the how the government works was choice.

What a rant. And better by the woodsman.

[boardwalk4est]

I think when CJ gets hit by a ped he's like "did you steal your liscense?" or "did you buy your liscense?" or "what kinda liscense you got a fishing liscense?"

[hungry.anteater]

so many to laugh at:

 

maccer - i was just dreamin about wanking over some fat girls tits

 

cop - im kicking names and taking ass

 

anything the truth says

 

 

[Gameuser]

I think it is funny when this old man mumbles: I had a dream....and it died in San Andreas LOL

[Dead At 4pm]

 

Cop :: I would kick you if my pants wernt so tight. - SA

 

[bobo_the_ape]

 

On the ambulance radio; voice one is requesting someone to drive to Chinatown.

Voice two replies really irritated "Which Chinatown!!?!?"

It's also on the cop radios. The response is "San Fierro!"

 

 

Also, anything the guys in the cop copter say is pretty funny.

They argue about your gender...

Also, one of them says "This is the San Andreas Police Department. You're under arrest." and the other responds "I think he knows that."

 

They also chat about shooting you down, etcetera. I'm tempted to go get three stars and run around with them following me just to write down everything they say.

 

 

 

I've also heard cops say "I can handle this punk by myself." or "You're going downtown buddy, I've got a score to settle."

[rootman]

 

this classic dialogue from gta3 on chatterbox with lazlow and the chick that called up regarding about her and a group trying to ban telephones called CRAP.

 

 

the banter between both is hilarious thru the end...

 

lady: you are the problem lazlow you are perpetulating the downfall for mankind.

 

lazlow: shut up.

 

lady; you shut up.

 

lazlow: baby

 

lady: NANNINANNI BOO BOO, put your head in a doo doo.

 

lazlow; ahhhh lets cut to the commercials.

 

LOL awesum

[Army of One]

 

and the inversion therapy thing is hilarious "I used to be terrified of my kids getting hurt, so i stabbed them, it didnt hurt them that bad"

 

, crazy therapist replies, "AMAZING! !!! "

 

The guy in the inversion therapy commercial...isnt it the guy on TV who does all those commercials about getting $$$ and grants from the govt? Sounds just like him...

 

 

[Luna_C]

Here are some I haven't seen posted.

 

The ped comment when you hit a car.

 

"Awwww this fool!" Like you've hit him before. lol

 

Also one of the cop voices in SF sounds all wimpy and emasculated. He's like.

 

"I just want to talk!"

 

Also any GF conversation cracks me up they'll just go on and on about the craziest sh1t and CJ is like "Uh uh", "you don't say.' "fo' sho'?" and "that's so interesting"

 

I've heard Millie say. "Have you ever been a pony?" , "I once tortured a guy so much he wet himself" and something along the lines of "Double enders are much more useful"

 

Hilarity.

[kankle]

Hey has any1 heard the diamonds commerical

 

" nothing says i love u like a lump of carbon"

 

"chill that bitch out"

 

" i forget wat we were fighting about wanna blowjob"

 

man i laughted 4 ages

[imheretostay]

Hey honey

[wantfrieswithat9]

 

here are a few of my favorites

1. beat ‘em down with my billy club

rollercoaster!

move, fool, I’m trying to save the world here

get out of my way, I’m a cop

I need a drink bad, esse

I am strapped

you smell bad

hey hey hey!

you trying to f*ck me, dickhead?

excuse me, motherf*cker

this aint nothin’, I could drink the whole thing

do you have back-wash?

I smoke ‘cause it gives me knowledge

I’m not into dudes, dude

[imheretostay]

LOl heard a new one, "theyre watching.

[grandtheftaudio2oo4]

I think the best woozie one aside from the condom one and the "you do know I'm black right?" ones is the one where you have to drive woozie to a compound but another gang has killed all the members already.

 

Woozie: "Now where is that loose cobble?"

Carl: "Hey...uh...what are you doing?"

Woozie: "I...uh...was just...looking...I...um...SHUT UP CARL!"

 

I thought that was DAMN funny...and then he runs into a wall...lol

[Carl_Johnson]

I heard a ped say "Ever f*ck a cat up its ass?" Very funny. Right near the Valet Parking place.

[Werleman1]

i cant remember but in tha mision were u pic maccer up he keeps sayin TITS BIG f*ckIN TITS OR sumtin like that

[Xyzzy]

"In the pen, we play strip football." - ped in Grove Street area

[OGlok]

When CJ's fat and is beating somebody up--"You think I'm fat" or "Did you call me fat"

[Grand Theft Anal]

pedestrian: "Have you ever tried to smell your own taint?"

[jrhan1]

if you go up to helena with too much muscle, there's a caption that says "you have put on too much muscle. what did you have for breakfast, steroids?"

[Werleman1]

lol .

read my sig

[exact]

On a mission with Ken Rosenberg

 

 

Ken says - Just like ol' times aye Tommy!

 

CJ Replys - Who the f*ck is Tommy?

 

Lol i thought that was crack up yo

[imheretostay]

"My head hurts"