GTA San Andreas Funny Quotes Thread

[Gary_]

"All we had to do was follow the damn train, CJ!"

-Big Smoke ( Wrong Side of the Tracks)

[HeroBrineR007]

But i'm a focking raspberry!

 

-Maccer

[vertical limit]

Don't blame me, blame society!

 

- CJ hijacking a car.

 

This line became so ingrained that when I was giving a hand to my sociology professor with the new furniture, we saw an old man walk shirtless with a guitar and bong. I turned to my professor and met his baffled gaze and I said, "don't blame him, blame society". Gave him a laugh and I was proud of myself remembering a line from a 10 year old game.

[|-Dan-|]

"It says Hitler killed himself,and that we nuked Japan,and people believe this sh*t!"

[AuSsIeThUnDeR36]

"I will always be watching. Or listening, or both." - Toreno

"I umm, I'm blind." "No s**t!" - Wuzi conversation with CJ in mission Amphibious Assault.

"Hey Jethro hows the hotdog business?" *blows smoke out while talking* "It's totally s**t why? What's happening?" - Truth talking to Jethro.

[NinjaHenrike]

Ryder

"It's cause I'm too intelligent for this sh*t. I am the real deal fool, oh, yeah. A genius."

[AuSsIeThUnDeR36]

Can't believe I made a mistake, Dwayne runs the hotdog business.

[LIOutlaw]

What about, "That essay put dust in my weed!" Ped in Los Santos

[vengeancehawk]

I appreciate your input, but please, f*ck off.

-CJ

[Sibbs]

All you had to do was to follow the damn train cj

Grove street, home. At least it was before I f*cked everything up

I really appreciate your input but please f*ck off

I'm just trying to keep my soldiers alive man/ by nagging them to death

Hell I can think of hundreds

[AuSsIeThUnDeR36]

"If you've done as many amphetamines as these guys you'd shoot anything that moves." - N.O.E. Mike Toreno

[Richard S]

i like the Backpacker guy say--- Have you seen a sperm?? its alive.

 

LOL

[dice]

I smoke cus it gives me knowledge

[Guest]

I like some quotes from ls and sf police officers and one of ballas with white shirt.

 

But my favourite is:

 

LS Cop - "This is makes me hungry."

SF Cop - "I'm gonna take you down."

 

And other characters like:

 

Cesar - "You mess with the Aztekas!"

Big Bear - "No one mess with the bear!"

 

In "Los Desperados" Sunny's funny quote:

 

"Those Vagos man, I'm gonna <...> cacos.

 

And in "Running Dog" when the Vagos say to Big Smoke:

 

"Chinga a tu madre, pendejo."

[helpplease]

"Dont do it; think of thatcher"

[Daniel879]

Toreno: Now first let's see what you're made of

CJ: What do i look like iam made of? Pudding ?

 

Or

CJ: Gettin lil edgy fellas ?

Tenpenny: How'd you like that you piece of sh*t. That give you any idea how edgy iam ?

Edited December 26, 2014 by Daniel879

[HeroBrineR007]

Cesar: And now we bail out of the car, right CJ?

Melvin: I'd like 2 numbrer 9's, a number 9 large... you know...

[Omega_Is_Here]

Cj reply to an insult:Well won't you go join the line to bang your moma?!

[J32T3R]

taxi driver SF: "Thank goodness it's a union cab."

 

English ped: "You bloody Yank."

 

guy in orange and black: "Give me drugs! Forget about the car."

Edited December 27, 2014 by J32T3R

[MythicalCreature]

That scene in 'Ryder':

"Ryder! Not this again!"

"It ain't me, fool!"

"I don't know anybody so short! I feel sorry for your father!"

Then Tenpenny mocking Ryder in 'Catalyst':

"What's cooking? Where's mine?"

 

"What should I call you? Midget?"

[Cell Tennyson]

Ha ha ha funny!!

 

Now here's what i found funny..

 

Black Drug Dealer:- Ei partner i'm working man, whatchu need whatchu need dog??

 

CJ : (Shouts) Get out of here Motherf*cker!!!

 

I lauged for 10 mins...

[HeroBrineR007]

Edited December 27, 2014 by lil weasel

[Luna 51]

LS criminal (the one that will hang in Ganton)

"In the Penn, we play strip football"

"Steroid's make your d*ck do what?!"

 

EDIT: My Favorite one in the entire game

 

Tenpenny: "What should I call you then, midget?"

Pulaski: "How about pr*ck?"

Tenpenny: "Pr*ck..."

Pulaski: "Yeah pr*ck works."

Ryder: "Man, f*ck you."

Edited January 8, 2015 by s2n vaniish

[Awesome Boy]

My most favourite quote is from Woozie in the Mountain Cloud Boys mission

"YOUR MOTHERS WERE DEMON SLUTS! YOU GUYS WILL WANDER AS GHOSTS!"

Edited December 30, 2014 by Awesome Boy

[Bustmeifyoucan]

Didn't somebody tell you bikes are dangerous? (When knocked out someone from bike)

Get the army I'm a f**king maniac! (When being chased in high stars)

I'm gonna eat you fool! (When he is very fat and punch someone)

I give up now If I was you (When being chased by cops)

I'm a player not a payer! (When lost in the gambling)

[HeroBrineR007]

CJ: Rollercoaster du dudud duuuuu!

CJ:

Edited January 7, 2015 by HeroBrineR007

[killjoy1012]

Cj when he hits somebody or vice versa "what kinda licence you got? A fishin license?"

[Audi]

CJ: I'm Rich and I'm f*cking crazy!!

[Bustmeifyoucan]

Big Smoke: Gimme 15, motherf*cker.
Ryder: I'll write it down in a second. I ain't going to pencil whip you, fat sucker. Let me play first.

Edited January 14, 2015 by Bustmeifyoucan

[chemicalmert]

There are some absolutely classic lines in S.A. Whether its memorable mission lines or pedestrian one liners!

Such as when CJ is getting chased by police:

 

Police Helicopter Pilot 1: Stop! Police!

Police Helicopter Pilot 2: I think he knows that by now!

 

Police Helicopter Pilot 1: This is aerial support...

Police Helicopter Pilot 2: Yeah, I think he knows that by now!

 

Police Helicopter Pilot 1: Hey, I can see my house from here!

Police Helicopter Pilot 2: Will you shut the f*ck up?

yeah it's my favourite, too

 

<< You do not need to post a quote to show appreciation. Use the "LIKE THIS" feature instead. {lw >>

Edited January 17, 2015 by lil weasel
cautioned post.