GTA San Andreas Funny Quotes Thread

[Shootin_spree]

i always liked after Catalina puts CJ through hell in that one cut scene she says:

 

"how was it?"

 

CJ: "different"

 

lol HAHAHHA

[OG Viking]

I drove against traffic in the wrong lane... crashed with a police car. I didn't get a star which is quite funny.

The police just said "Ooh I hope you ain't drunk!"

 

 

[!!GC!!]

I was using the cheat 'Invulnerable Death Dealing Mean Machine' so that my car gets no damage and blow anything up on impact.

So when i was driving through the country, i drifted around a corner and slammed into a Journey, it exploded and then a few seconds later, the driver said "Oh man, my car".

But he would've easily been dead from the explosion.

[!!GC!!]

While i was doing the 'Take the Mt. Chiliad Challenge' (on the front page) i was in a Stretch listening to WCTR and this came up....

Its from 'The Wild Traveller'

 

James: Hello, Where are you?

Caller: Im on a cliff

James: How romantic

Caller: I want to jump

James: I know what you mean, jump into the unknown. How can it be a sin if it feels so good. Anyway, Whats your question?

Caller: Why am i here?

James: I dont know, why are you there? Where are you? Kenya?

Caller: No, im in Verdant Bluffs

James: Urhh, Lonesome place that, i'd jump if i were you

Caller: I want to go to hell

James: Me too!! Buy a refridgerator magnet while you're there.

 

It was so funny at the time, i actually laughed out load and nearly drove right off the side of Chiliad.

 

I know i double posted. Sorry, but i kind of wanted to bump this topic a bit.

[ssoRRoss]

I like it on one of the missions when Ryder says Woo, ehh. You can smell a crack den a mile away!

[Steve_Burazer]

For me the funniest is the wild traveller thing above.

[gtamodder]

I like it when Catalina says, "I think I love you!"

[Ceres071706]

I was using the cheat 'Invulnerable Death Dealing Mean Machine' so that my car gets no damage and blow anything up on impact.

is that really a cheat?

[Stefan.]

I was using the cheat 'Invulnerable Death Dealing Mean Machine' so that my car gets no damage and blow anything up on impact.

is that really a cheat?

Yep. I don't think that's what it's called.

 

Man: *picks up phone* "Hey, who's this?"

Jenny: "It's Jenny, you know...that girl you met at the party?"

Man: "Oh, yeah! Jenny! Wow, I haven't seen you in like-"

Jenny: "Nine months?" *baby wails*

Voice-over guy: "San Andreas Telephone; for those difficult conversations."

 

@GC: , what a coincidence.

[!!GC!!]

@Stefan: Whats a coincidence?

 

@Ceres: Yea, it is a cheat, and that is what it is called.

In my cheat book, it says:

Turn any car you drive into an Invulnerable death dealing mean machine:

[lazy34]

Mad Dogg on WCTR: "Now I'm back dropping this Dogg sh*t on your asses!"

Edited May 7, 2008 by lazy34

[Stefan.]

@Stefan: Whats a coincidence?

 

 

Sorry, I'm meant to say co-incidence. Understand now?

[!!GC!!]

@Stefan: Whats a coincidence?

 

 

Sorry, I'm meant to say co-incidence. Understand now?

Not at all. What part of the topic are you aiming this at?

[RayBoy]

CJ: I Hate gravity!

 

Catalina:Hand over the takings! or il blow your f*cking balls off!

 

In a cutscene where you drive to the cluckin' bell and Big Smoke asks alot of loads of food.

Edited May 8, 2008 by RayBoy

[Wanted Assailant]

The Truth: (blab blah 1950s hippie communism apocalypse garbage) "Amaste".

 

CJ: The f*ck that mean? Later freak...

[Shootin_spree]

The Truth: (blab blah 1950s hippie communism apocalypse garbage) "Amaste".

 

CJ: The f*ck that mean? Later freak...

lol, i love how CJ says "the f*ck that mean"

[Mr J. Thompson]

Random ped: "When I find that chihuahua, Im gonna kill it!" f*cking hilarious.

 

Sage on Radio X: "My name is Sage and if you dont like it you can go f*ck yourself."

 

And, Smoke: "Like it says in the book, same things that make us laugh, and make us cry. We are blessed and cursed."

CJ: "...........what f*cking book?" lol

[Steve Crook]

Taking Michelle out on our first date, riding the NRG and zooming down the road at top speed and taking off over the crests of the hills

 

Michelle: CJ, I think I'm freefalling for you

 

Aww, how sweet

 

Steve

 

 

 

[Stefan.]

Ped: "Do you shower in doo-doo?"

 

He says that you when CJ has very low sex appeal.

[sanandreas luva101]

One was at cluckin' bell

"Hope you choke on it sir"

CJ with a 3 star wanted level

"I ain't your bitch officer"

CJ with a 4 star wanted level while being attacked

"I ain't some bitch that you can just slap around wit!"

[Stefan.]

 

@Ped: "You're so fat, you jump in the air and get stuck!"

[!!GC!!]

On a Crimson ad.

 

Guy: I was devastated when i found out my wife was cheating on me, and even more so when she fell underneath the train(!). I was nowhere near at the time and my phone records prove it.

[Shootin_spree]

On a Crimson ad.

 

Guy: I was devastated when i found out my wife was cheating on me, and even more so when she fell underneath the train(!). I was nowhere near at the time and my phone records prove it.

OMG, thats so good. i remember when i heard that for the first time. I p*ssed meself laughin.

[MattC13]

Big Smoke at Cluckin Bell always wins.

 

And at Cluckin Bell: "I hope you choke a doodle doo!"

[gtamodder]

Also, when CJ Says "Shut your f*cki*g mouth."

[Flesh-n-Bone]

My favorite is definitely Ryders quotes "Man who you calling a boy fool?", "Say CJ, you gon' crash the car again?", "Damn these idiots just don't give up", "This damn part time soldiers got [something] on their shoulders", "It's Nation Guard, fool! Weekend soldies! Ain't no match on Grove Street OG's.", "Chill out fool, we gon be right behind you". I don't know maybe because I like the voice (MC Eiht), straight og.

 

And [email protected] what the hell is up with you man? You change your profile, ava and sig every half hour. You confuse me alot.

[OGJoe]

When bumping into this biker-dude, the guy went:

 

"You want a beating? Huh? HUH?"

[Lil' Mike]

In the "Drive-Thru"- mission there are lots of hilarious quotes. Here are my favorites:

 

"Dammit, Smoke, you got ketchup all over the seat!" - Ryder, while chasing the Ballas car.

 

"Say what, Smoke? All you managed to do was eating my damn food up!" - Ryder again, in the ending cutscene at Sweet's house.

 

"I'll have two number 9's, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45's, one with cheese, and a large soda." - Big Smoke, while ordering food at the Cluckin' Bell.

 

"My soda! It's all over the f*cking floor!" - Ryder again.

Edited May 20, 2008 by Lil' Mike

[Stefan.]

Oh yeah, Drive-Thru has got to win.

[Bullet_Chris]

CJ:

"Does the Pope shít in the woods?" Quality!

 

 

I never understood what he meant by that!?