What'z the Hardest Punchline You've Heard

[CSeanathan]

I've been listenin to Papoose a lot lately and he's a sick ass rapper. Got some nice punchlines too.

 

"I'm sposed to stop livin cuz yo man died? Whatchu crazy or somethin?

Tell that nigga push me up a daisy or somethin..."

 

"Cab driver cut me off on the way to the Hudson

Cut it out before I chase you back to Haiti or somethin"

 

"Shaq bought Kay Slay a Phantom, I aint actin shady or nuthin...

Tell dat nigga throw me a Mercedes or somethin"

 

It aint the best but it's the best I've heard lately...

[noodles]

I've heard alot of good things about pap but all I've been able to hear from him are "Charades" and a couple verses over Mario's "Let Me Love You" beat.

 

I can't think of any really good punchlines I've heard lately. On "Dear Summer", Jay says something to the effect of:

 

Young niggas wanna "blast for me"/blasphemy

No religion

 

It's not really a punchline, but I thought it was pretty good.

[FrozenFenix]

yeh da kid papoose he spit fire...

[Requiem]

Pap is fire right now...

 

Can you recognize a cop when his clothes is plain?

You gotta identidy him, its like a game of charades

 

instead of watching us, you should have watched ground zero

schwarzenegger kill in the movies but he a hero

 

Not really punchlines, but metaphors all the same...

[gizmo]

Jay-Z

Dear Summer

 

 

I don't talk sh*t I just flip it "Un" ya

sorry lance I'm just tryin to advance my quotes

 

 

and all the success i recieve i know u cant believe i love em but they dont love me, they like the drunk uncle in ya family, you know they lame, you feel ashamed, but u love em the same

 

 

its like when niggas make subliminal records, if it aint directed directly at me i dont respect it, you dont really want it wit Hov, for the record i put a couple careers on hold, u could be next kid

 

Kanye West

Diamonds

 

 

does he write his own rhymes, well sort of, i think em, that means i forgot better sh*t than you ever thought of

 

 

if a stripper named porscher and she get tips from many men, then ya fat friend, her nickname is mini-van

 

 

[MrKooKie]

THC (dutch)

 

 

 

There is some band of rapper in Holland so i've translated the lyrics (spell might be false)

 

 

It's Like this, she isn't pretty, but I searched for a horny bitch like that for long. But still she acts sh*tty.

 

In english this line sounds like nothing. But in dutch... WauW!

[stoop]

Love this immortal technique verse.

 

 

give me a hundred grand, give me your watch, give me your chain

that's your girl, bitch get over here, give me some brain

I'll bust of on her face, and right after the segment

she'll propably rub it in her pussy, trying to get herself pregnant

[Slick Willy]

With all due respect, you guys don't know sh*t. That stuff up there is weak.

 

 

I went from standin on the corner sellin cocaine

To rippin shows live on stage the hoes yellin my name

To be precise rippin mics is the light of my life

You frontin like you trife but never pulled a heist in your life

The price of my ice is sky high, I'm a fly guy

Its every thugs dream I really love cream, its in my blood stream

You mad cause I got more chicks than you, more bricks than you

More nines and extra clips than you

Where I live it ain't a nice town

You can't walk around with ice down

Some clown probably gettin stuck right now

Peace to D-I-T-C, Show and AG, Fat J-O-E

Diamond D, Lord Finesse, and me

I'm from the East Coast, this is how we roll in New York

A bunch of rowdy niggas holdin the fort

Jackin creeps, packin heat, these Harlem streets is for keeps

Much love to all my peeps who got a couple of sheets

 

 

Yo, f*ck all the glamours and glitz, I plan to get rich

I'm from New York and never was a fan of the Knicks

And I'm all about expandin my chips

You mad cause I was in the van with your bitch

with both hands on her tits

Corleone hold the throne, that you know in your heart

I got style, plus the way that I be flowin is sharp

A while back I used to hustle, sellin blow in the park

Countin G stacks and rockin ice that glow in the dark

Forever - hottie huntin, trigger temper I'm quick to body somethin

You lookin at me like I'm probably frontin

I f*ck around and throw, three in your chest and flee to my rest

I'm, older and smarter this is me at my best

I stopped hangin around y'all, cause niggaz like you

be prayin on my downfall, hopin I flop

Hopin I stop, you probably even hope I get locked

or be on the street corner with a pipe, smokin the rock

I got more riches than you, f*ck more bitches than you

Only thing I haven't got is more, stitches than you

f*ckin punk, you ain't a +Leader+ what? Nobody +Follow-ed+ you

You was never sh*t, your mother shoulda swallowed you

You on some tagalong flunkie yes man sh*t

Do me a favor, please get off the next man dick

And if you think I can't f*ck with whoever, put your money up

Put your jewels up, no f*ck it put your honey up

Put your raggedy house up nigga, or shut your mouth up

before I buck lead, and make a lot of blood shed

Turn your tux red, I'm far from broke, got enough bread

And mad hoes, ask Beavis I get nuttin Butt-head

My game is, vicious and cool

f*ckin chicks is a rule

If my girl think I'm loyal then that bitch is a fool

How come, you can listen to my first album

and tell where a lot of niggaz got they whole style from?

So what you actin for?

You ain't half as raw, you need to practice more

Somebody tell this nigga sum'un, 'fore I crack his jaw

You runnin with boys, I'm runnin with men

I'ma be rippin the mics until I'm a hundred and ten

Have y'all niggaz like, "Damnit this nigga done done it again"

I throw slugs at idi-ots, no love for city cops

I sport a pretty watch, eight-hundred and fifty rocks

I'm makin wonderful figures

I don't f*ck with none of you niggaz

I might pull out this gun on your niggaz

and rob every last one of you niggaz

 

I would postall of them but it would take forever.

[FrozenFenix]

yeh big RIP to big l one of the best rappers ever

[stoop]

Yah that 98 freestyle is dope. You got that Harlems Finest freestyle CD, its nuts.

[drunk_monk]

i like this one from immortal tech

You motherf*ckers are nothing, you cannot harm me

I'll ressurect every aborted baby and start an army

Storm the planet, hunting you down, 'cause I'm on a mission

To split your body into a billion one-celled organisms

Immortal Technique will destroy your religion, you stupid bitch

You faker than blue eyed crackers nailed to a crucifix

I'm 'bout to blow up like NASA Challenger computer chips

Arsenic language transmitted revolutionarily

I'm like time itself, I'ma kill you inevitably

Chemically bomb you, f*ck using a chrome piece

I'm Illmatic, you won't make it home like Gerome's niece

I'll sever your head diagonally for thinking of dissing me

And then use your dead body to write my name in calligraphy

This puppet democracy, just brainwashed psychology

So you're nothing like diversity without equality

And your crew is full of more fa**ots than Greek mythology

Using numerology to count the people I sent to Heaven

Produces more digits than 22 divided by 7

You like Kevin Spacey, your style is usually suspect

You never killed a cop, you not a motherf*cking thug yet

Your mind is empty and spacious

Like the part of the brain that appreciates culture in racists

Face it, you're too basic, you not going to make it

Like children walking through Antartica, butt naked

 

i ALSO like this one from luda

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

Now if a bad bitch wants dick, then its dick I give her

Ludacris nigga, I stand and deliver

Neva back down, won't shake nor shiver

f*ck with me and get found in the Chattahoochee River

This 7 inch shank, will put a stop to his ticker

But shoties to the body make him drop much quicker

Yeah I appear to be a nice lil nigga

f*ck with anything I love, I'm a stone cold killa

Eating off of 'Sace, sleeping on chinchilla

8 figga nigga, I'm a multi milla

See me in the street, it can't get no realer

Giving back to my hood with a pocket full of scrilla

My neighbors say my house can't get no bigga

I do good ass bidness, with a bad ass temper

Please tell ya bitch, stop playing with my zipper

Or I'll Brrrrddd Stick Her HaHaHa Stick HER!

 

i also like this one frome eazy-e

Woke up this mornin' fifty-five past six

Eazy-muthaf*ckin-E with tha hard ass dick

Nigga plottin', ahhhh

Nigga schemin'so don't wake me bitch cuz i'm dreamin

1-8-7s on bitches in my head, nigga up snorin' like f*ck, sleep in fear

Cock my nine, and i'm out the window

Drunk as f*ck and high off that indo

Nigga E, C-P-T, the O.G.

And i really don't think u wanna f*ck with me

Nigga walkin half up with nine in hand

I gives a mad f*ck but they don't understand

I wet 'em up, wet 'em up, wet 'em up

Now back to the mutha f*ckin set, creepin crawlin crawlin creepin

Don't get caught sleepin

 

this one y eazy is cool too

Standin' on the corner straight slangin' rocks

Aw ahit! Here comes the muthaf**kin' cops!

So I dash, I ducks, and I hides behind a tree

Makin' sure the muthaf**kas don't see me

Now my fat sack of rocks hell yeah i stuffed 'em

Police on my draws, i had to pause

And yeah, it's still muthaf**k 'em

Now my game is tight, tight as f**k is my game

Easy muthaf**kin E or Eric Wright it's all the same

Now niggas might trip on how I stash my grip

I gotta have it bitch

For the love of this sh*t

MUTHAF**KA!!

 

RIP EAZY-E BIG L 2PAC BIGGIE SMALLS JAMASTER J sry for talking up about half a page

Edited June 27, 2005 by drunk_monk

[krnjun]

Not really a punchline but I find this funny

 

Some little girl saying-

 

I like 50 Cent

He reminds me Spongebob

And Tony Yayo is Blues Clues

And Lloyd Banks is Dora the Explorer

They're my friends

 

 

 

Psyche.[/color]

 

The song is really worth a listen. 15 minute song called 300 Bars and Runnin'.

[Hard Margin]

El-P - Linda Tripp

 

Closest to the perfect scenario you made a move but it backfired

Magnified by the fact that you tried to project a persona

of confrontation by subverting a crew who in fact you idolized

 

You don't even deserve this moment--do you?

You haven't paid enough dues to get a battle--pupil!

Run along and do your little interviews with your fantasy life distortion

Next time you reveal your true self

make sure that no one records it

 

He tore Sole to pieces. I found it funny Sole accused El-P from biting his style from Vordul, who just happens to be signed to El-P's label. Ooops.

[Requiem]

For some reason I never caught on to El-P.

 

Slick's got it right up there, Big L was crazy.

 

'I'm so ahead of my time my parents havn't met yet'

 

The 7min freestyle with Jay, when I first heard that I was just in shock.

[gizmo]

With all due respect, you guys don't know sh*t. That stuff up there is weak.

 

 

I went from standin on the corner sellin cocaine

To rippin shows live on stage the hoes yellin my name

To be precise rippin mics is the light of my life

You frontin like you trife but never pulled a heist in your life

The price of my ice is sky high, I'm a fly guy

Its every thugs dream I really love cream, its in my blood stream

You mad cause I got more chicks than you, more bricks than you

More nines and extra clips than you

Where I live it ain't a nice town

You can't walk around with ice down

Some clown probably gettin stuck right now

Peace to D-I-T-C, Show and AG, Fat J-O-E

Diamond D, Lord Finesse, and me

I'm from the East Coast, this is how we roll in New York

A bunch of rowdy niggas holdin the fort

Jackin creeps, packin heat, these Harlem streets is for keeps

Much love to all my peeps who got a couple of sheets

 

 

Yo, f*ck all the glamours and glitz, I plan to get rich

I'm from New York and never was a fan of the Knicks

And I'm all about expandin my chips

You mad cause I was in the van with your bitch

with both hands on her tits

Corleone hold the throne, that you know in your heart

I got style, plus the way that I be flowin is sharp

A while back I used to hustle, sellin blow in the park

Countin G stacks and rockin ice that glow in the dark

Forever - hottie huntin, trigger temper I'm quick to body somethin

You lookin at me like I'm probably frontin

I f*ck around and throw, three in your chest and flee to my rest

I'm, older and smarter this is me at my best

I stopped hangin around y'all, cause niggaz like you

be prayin on my downfall, hopin I flop

Hopin I stop, you probably even hope I get locked

or be on the street corner with a pipe, smokin the rock

I got more riches than you, f*ck more bitches than you

Only thing I haven't got is more, stitches than you

f*ckin punk, you ain't a +Leader+ what? Nobody +Follow-ed+ you

You was never sh*t, your mother shoulda swallowed you

You on some tagalong flunkie yes man sh*t

Do me a favor, please get off the next man dick

And if you think I can't f*ck with whoever, put your money up

Put your jewels up, no f*ck it put your honey up

Put your raggedy house up nigga, or shut your mouth up

before I buck lead, and make a lot of blood shed

Turn your tux red, I'm far from broke, got enough bread

And mad hoes, ask Beavis I get nuttin Butt-head

My game is, vicious and cool

f*ckin chicks is a rule

If my girl think I'm loyal then that bitch is a fool

How come, you can listen to my first album

and tell where a lot of niggaz got they whole style from?

So what you actin for?

You ain't half as raw, you need to practice more

Somebody tell this nigga sum'un, 'fore I crack his jaw

You runnin with boys, I'm runnin with men

I'ma be rippin the mics until I'm a hundred and ten

Have y'all niggaz like, "Damnit this nigga done done it again"

I throw slugs at idi-ots, no love for city cops

I sport a pretty watch, eight-hundred and fifty rocks

I'm makin wonderful figures

I don't f*ck with none of you niggaz

I might pull out this gun on your niggaz

and rob every last one of you niggaz

 

I would postall of them but it would take forever.

I don't mean to get defensive, but I bet I know more about music than most members here..I think only one has more knowledge than me and that is CBear.

 

 

Now the title says,

 

 

Recently...

 

You know me better than that Slick, I'd post a lot of older sh*t...

[wjf]

El-P - Linda Tripp

Closest to the perfect scenario you made a move but it backfired

Magnified by the fact that you tried to project a persona

of confrontation by subverting a crew who in fact you idolized

 

You don't even deserve this moment--do you?

You haven't paid enough dues to get a battle--pupil!

Run along and do your little interviews with your fantasy life distortion

Next time you reveal your true self

make sure that no one records it

 

He tore Sole to pieces. I found it funny Sole accused El-P from biting his style from Vordul, who just happens to be signed to El-P's label. Ooops.

By the way Vordul did I bite? Vordul: "yea right!!--thats fantasy lie snake trife"

[Kotsudaira]

50 Cent: "Produced by Scott Skorch."

Game: "Scott Skorch?"

50 cent: "Scott Skorch."

Game: "Scott, I mean Scott Sck Sk Ski"

50 cent: "Skorch"

Game: "It's Scott Storch you dumb ass bitch. S-T-O-R-C-H, Storch motherf*ck Storch learn how to talk you f*ck bitch. That's that motherf*ckin' hole in your jaw, huh? Scott Skorch learn how to say a niggas name you dumb as fa**ot don't even know how to talk and thats the reason..."

 

Haven't got a clue if that's real or not, some guy posted it in the 300 Bars An' Runnin' thread. Might not be real hard, but it made me laugh.

[Macintire Sniper]

Immortal Technique -

 

 

It rains acid, one day the earth will cry from a stone

And you'll be lookin' at the world livin' inside of a dome

Comperized humanity living inside of a clone

This is the place where the unknown is living and real

Worm went to planet X and the seventh seal

Universal truth is not measure in mass appeal

This is the last time that I kneel and pray to the sky

Cause almost everything that I was always ever told was a lie

dt8