Following is the review of a Storyline's Chapter 1 name "The King of Los Santos".
Grammar - (Honestly the grammar is good and grammar is weak as well. In most of the missions, I found vast amount grammar mistakes and in few missions, I found less amount of grammar mistakes. You can consider two hands. The first hand is full of obstacles and ambushes and the second one is a long road with few and easy ambushes. I hope you understand what I am saying. "Yellow" colour is not bad but it demands more hard work on the grammar + punctuation level also need improvements. The first hand is completely messed up but second hand is good and great so far but still, "comma" everywhere is not a correct. You are making it decorate not correct which comes near to "Presentation" stage)
Spelling Mistakes - (Good I mean yeah really. Spelling Mistakes were not such a big issue in this SL. I found few mistakes during analyzing. Most of them are from the first mission where both Actors were at the top of the Star tower. Moreover, I found nowhere any small or big mistakes. Receiving a "Green" colour are for lucky people and you are one of them. No need any improvements here. Just analyze your mission after the accomplishment. I was also able to give you high stage but punctuation and some text changing were not good)
Plot - (Plot is not at heights but still we can connect this a bit with reality. Things in the plot occur really quick. Protagonist met with some mobs and become one of his favourites. Obtained a new car and quick money... all these stuff happened really fast. My opinion was to make it negligible at first and then try to prevail reputation on all over the city but since you finished it already then keep it like what it is. Just try to be careful next time and I like the style that how you guys did not ruin it. What I am saying that I like that how you guys connected everything as a job and also tried to move on something else. Keep it up!)
Cutscenes - (Cutscenes are not really good but I am satisfied that how you guys work on it. Rotations were good and most of the things also but still I found much weakness in most of the missions. Just make it more accurate and stylish and everything will be fine)
Objects&Pickups - (Actually there were not any pickups and objects in SL. Just a few pickups which positions were not accurate. Lucky that I am giving it a neutral (means half points) )
Length - (Length of the missions were good not too big nor small. I like it that how you all guys appended a small phone call at the end. Honestly, I was not expecting that at the end but still good. Lucky that you are receiving "Yellow" colour on length otherwise I don't like to give it at length)
Difficulty - (Difficulty is really good. I really like it. High Accuracy and low health with the headshot enabled. Every time we cannot just headshot in the middle of the enemies. That phone call ambush was really nice. All actors health was good. Seriously enjoyed it. One cookie from me on this )
Presentation - (Presentation did not satisfy me. LodesofGames, YsairRFL and Eddy4312. These three are most responsible for the current presentation stage. Their mentioning and referring to another person way was really bad. However, Martinovich was good at a place. If he was going to work on Presentation then I am sure that Presentation was in the middle of "Green" colour)
+ Collaboration is actually a good idea but I saw many faults. My advice to the host is to deep check on the mission's dialogues and try to edit them. I published a tutorial "Advanced Method of Editing text. Watch it and after that, you will leave the inaccurate and crash feature of importing text in DYOM. Remember when many people nominated you for the "Most improved member". Yes, you are, you deserve it and keep up more.
7.57/10 - Really nice. Try to work on mentioned things and next time you will receive more points. waiting for Chapter 2.