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The King of Los Santos (Storyline)

WIP
149 replies to this topic
Martin_Strada
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#61

Posted 22 December 2017 - 03:28 PM Edited by Martin_Strada, 22 December 2017 - 03:28 PM.

9 missions are done of Chapter 2:

 

  • The New Rules (Martin)
  • Serious Fire (Eddy4312)
  • Drugs (LODoesGames)
  • Catalyst (Martin)
  • The First Entry (Eddy4312)
  • The Wasted Street (YasirRFL)
  • The Chosen One (LODoesGames)
  • Let the game begin.. (Martin)
  • Madd Dogg's Rhymes (LODoesGames)

New Character has been added: Madd Dogg

 

 


Martin_Strada
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#62

Posted 24 December 2017 - 12:53 PM


Jisseikatsu
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#63

Posted 25 December 2017 - 02:07 PM

Pinned for two weeks for winning the Most Promising Storyline of 2017 award.

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Yasir_RFL
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#64

Posted 25 December 2017 - 02:55 PM

Woohoo! Congratulations!

Martin_Strada
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#65

Posted 25 December 2017 - 03:14 PM

Wow, that's really nice.


LODoesGames
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#66

Posted 25 December 2017 - 03:24 PM

Yes!
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Martin_Strada
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#67

Posted 25 December 2017 - 03:25 PM

Yes!

 

That's really nice, I think you're happy with those news, do you realize how put a hard work in it?


Martin_Strada
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#68

Posted 29 December 2017 - 11:34 AM

The 3rd demonstrational walkthrough will be uploaded 2017-12-31.

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Martin_Strada
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#69

Posted 29 December 2017 - 02:25 PM

10 missions are done of Chapter 2:

 

  • The New Rules (Martin)
  • Serious Fire (Eddy4312)
  • Drugs (LODoesGames)
  • Catalyst (Martin)
  • The First Entry (Eddy4312)
  • The Wasted Street (YasirRFL)
  • The Chosen One (LODoesGames)
  • Let the game begin.. (Martin)
  • Madd Dogg's Rhymes (LODoesGames)
  • Night out (Martin)

New Character has been added: MIke Scipas

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Martin_Strada
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#70

Posted 30 December 2017 - 10:47 AM


Martin_Strada
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#71

Posted 30 December 2017 - 01:53 PM

11 missions are done of Chapter 2:

 

  • The New Rules (Martin)
  • Serious Fire (Eddy4312)
  • Drugs (LODoesGames)
  • Catalyst (Martin)
  • The First Entry (Eddy4312)
  • The Wasted Street (YasirRFL)
  • The Chosen One (LODoesGames)
  • Let the game begin.. (Martin)
  • Madd Dogg's Rhymes (LODoesGames)
  • Night out (Martin)
  • One Step Closer (LODoesGames)

Martin_Strada
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#72

Posted 31 December 2017 - 11:45 AM Edited by Martin_Strada, 31 December 2017 - 11:46 AM.

  • The New Rules (Martin)
  • Serious Fire (Eddy4312)
  • Drugs (LODoesGames)
  • Catalyst (Martin)
  • The First Entry (Eddy4312)
  • The Wasted Street (YasirRFL)
  • The Chosen One (LODoesGames)
  • Let the game begin.. (Martin)
  • Madd Dogg's Rhymes (LODoesGames)
  • Night out (Martin)
  • One Step Closer (LODoesGames)
  • The Return of Veteran
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Nuddle King
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#73

Posted 31 December 2017 - 11:49 AM

Good Job Martin!and i see that LODoesGames working to hard and making more missions.

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Martin_Strada
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#74

Posted 31 December 2017 - 11:54 AM

Good Job Martin!and i see that LODoesGames working to hard and making more missions.

 

Yep, he's improved. I like his shooting missions, he always doing this.


Martin_Strada
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#75

Posted 01 January 2018 - 03:07 PM

I stopped the project, it's will be paused, on hold. My partners needs to take a rest for 2 weeks, and they will create their own missions.


Martin_Strada
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#76

Posted 10 January 2018 - 03:06 PM Edited by Martin_Strada, 10 January 2018 - 03:06 PM.

[NEWS]:  The project TKOLS is in progress, now the 14th mission is in development.


Martin_Strada
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#77

Posted 10 January 2018 - 03:38 PM Edited by Martin_Strada, 10 January 2018 - 03:39 PM.

  • 14 missions are done in Chapter 2:
  •  
  • The New Rules (Martin)
  • Serious Fire (Eddy4312)
  • Drugs (LODoesGames)
  • Catalyst (Martin)
  • The First Entry (Eddy4312)
  • The Wasted Street (YasirRFL)
  • The Chosen One (LODoesGames)
  • Let the game begin.. (Martin)
  • Madd Dogg's Rhymes (LODoesGames)
  • Night out (Martin)
  • One Step Closer (LODoesGames)
  • The Return of Veteran (Eddy4312)
  • Bad Boys (Martin)
  • Night Live (Martin)

Nuddle King
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#78

Posted 10 January 2018 - 03:42 PM

6 missions left..good job
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Martin_Strada
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#79

Posted 10 January 2018 - 03:47 PM

6 missions left..good job

 

Not 6, maybe more.

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Martin_Strada
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#80

Posted 12 January 2018 - 12:09 PM Edited by Martin_Strada, 12 January 2018 - 12:09 PM.

  • 15 missions are done in Chapter 2:

 

  • The New Rules (Martin)
  • Serious Fire (Eddy4312)
  • Drugs (LODoesGames)
  • Catalyst (Martin)
  • The First Entry (Eddy4312)
  • The Wasted Street (YasirRFL)
  • The Chosen One (LODoesGames)
  • Let the game begin.. (Martin)
  • Madd Dogg's Rhymes (LODoesGames)
  • Night out (Martin)
  • One Step Closer (LODoesGames)
  • The Return of Veteran (Eddy4312)
  • Bad Boys (Martin)
  • Night Live (Martin)
  • Chasing Dario (YasirRFL)
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Martin_Strada
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#81

Posted 12 January 2018 - 12:28 PM

The reviews will be shown in the topic, you can review it too!

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Nuddle King
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#82

Posted 12 January 2018 - 12:58 PM

Chasing Dario is good missions..but.. Chasing"Dario"?xD
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Martin_Strada
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#83

Posted 12 January 2018 - 01:03 PM

Chasing Dario is good missions..but.. Chasing"Dario"?xD

 

Yasir has gone to far XD

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Yasir_RFL
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#84

Posted 12 January 2018 - 01:06 PM

I just need a gay person name.
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Martin_Strada
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#85

Posted 12 January 2018 - 01:07 PM

I just need a gay person name.

 

LOL!

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Martin_Strada
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#86

Posted 13 January 2018 - 09:13 AM Edited by Martin_Strada, 13 January 2018 - 09:13 AM.

sh*t! Bad news again! My partners can't design any missions, everyone's tired of it, we're really not planning to cancel this project, but it's gonna be on hold again! Sorry for that guys, we still cannot do it.

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Martin_Strada
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#87

Posted 15 January 2018 - 12:33 PM Edited by Martin_Strada, 25 January 2018 - 12:29 PM.

Never mind.


Opcode
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#88

Posted 17 January 2018 - 11:40 AM Edited by Opcode, 17 January 2018 - 12:20 PM.

@Martin_Starda:
 
Following is the review of a Storyline's Chapter 1 name "The King of Los Santos".
 
                                                      YczUFcA.png
 
 
Grammar - (Honestly the grammar is good and grammar is weak as well. In most of the missions, I found vast amount grammar mistakes and in few missions, I found less amount of grammar mistakes. You can consider two hands. The first hand is full of obstacles and ambushes and the second one is a long road with few and easy ambushes. I hope you understand what I am saying. "Yellow" colour is not bad but it demands more hard work on the grammar + punctuation level also need improvements. The first hand is completely messed up but second hand is good and great so far but still, "comma" everywhere is not a correct. You are making it decorate not correct which comes near to "Presentation" stage)
 
Spelling Mistakes - (Good I mean yeah really. Spelling Mistakes were not such a big issue in this SL. I found few mistakes during analyzing. Most of them are from the first mission where both Actors were at the top of the Star tower. Moreover, I found nowhere any small or big mistakes. Receiving a "Green" colour are for lucky people and you are one of them. No need any improvements here. Just analyze your mission after the accomplishment. I was also able to give you high stage but punctuation and some text changing were not good
 
Plot - (Plot is not at heights but still we can connect this a bit with reality. Things in the plot occur really quick. Protagonist met with some mobs and become one of his favourites. Obtained a new car and quick money... all these stuff happened really fast. My opinion was to make it negligible at first and then try to prevail reputation on all over the city but since you finished it already then keep it like what it is. Just try to be careful next time and I like the style that how you guys did not ruin it. What I am saying that I like that how you guys connected everything as a job and also tried to move on something else. Keep it up!)
 
Cutscenes - (Cutscenes are not really good but I am satisfied that how you guys work on it. Rotations were good and most of the things also but still I found much weakness in most of the missions. Just make it more accurate and stylish and everything will be fine)
 
Objects&Pickups - (Actually there were not any pickups and objects in SL. Just a few pickups which positions were not accurate. Lucky that I am giving it a neutral (means half points) )
 
Length - (Length of the missions were good not too big nor small. I like it that how you all guys appended a small phone call at the end. Honestly, I was not expecting that at the end but still good. Lucky that you are receiving "Yellow" colour on length otherwise I don't like to give it at length)
 
Difficulty - (Difficulty is really good. I really like it. High Accuracy and low health with the headshot enabled. Every time we cannot just headshot in the middle of the enemies. That phone call ambush was really nice. All actors health was good. Seriously enjoyed it. One cookie from me on this :cookie: )
 
Presentation - (Presentation did not satisfy me. LodesofGames, YsairRFL and Eddy4312. These three are most responsible for the current presentation stage. Their mentioning and referring to another person way was really bad. However, Martinovich was good at a place. If he was going to work on Presentation then I am sure that Presentation was in the middle of "Green" colour)
 
+ Collaboration is actually a good idea but I saw many faults. My advice to the host is to deep check on the mission's dialogues and try to edit them. I published a tutorial "Advanced Method of Editing text. Watch it and after that, you will leave the inaccurate and crash feature of importing text in DYOM. Remember when many people nominated you for the "Most improved member". Yes, you are, you deserve it and keep up more.
 
7.57/10 - Really nice. Try to work on mentioned things and next time you will receive more points. waiting for Chapter 2.

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Martin_Strada
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#89

Posted 17 January 2018 - 01:31 PM

Wow, thanks for that dude. I really appreciate it, listen Martinovich is me actually, it's just a second nickname. About those 3 members, They aren't good at DYOM like THBP, xghostx. And also thanks for the cookie. I will tell to the others, some issues. Stay tuned for 2nd Chapter: The New Rules.


Martin_Strada
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#90

Posted 17 January 2018 - 03:37 PM

  • 16 missions are done in Chapter 2:

 

  • The New Rules (Martin)
  • Serious Fire (Eddy4312)
  • Drugs (LODoesGames)
  • Catalyst (Martin)
  • The First Entry (Eddy4312)
  • The Wasted Street (YasirRFL)
  • The Chosen One (LODoesGames)
  • Let the game begin.. (Martin)
  • Madd Dogg's Rhymes (LODoesGames)
  • Night out (Martin)
  • One Step Closer (LODoesGames)
  • The Return of Veteran (Eddy4312)
  • Bad Boys (Martin)
  • Night Live (Martin)
  • Chasing Dario (YasirRFL)
  • The Emperor (Martin)




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