Week of November 19th - November 25th
Welcome to the fifth issue of the Spanish Kings Weekly
And welcome to the first issue posted on our new, dedicated thread! Thanks to blessing from the mods, we're now allowed to officially start posting out magazine outside of our crew thread, and instead in our own, dedicated thread in the Crews section. If you're new to the magazine, our last few issues have been:
Today's biggest news in progress is simple: chapter 10 of the hit GTA fanfiction 'Red Triangle' was released a few days ago to critical acclaim. A stunning, beautiful character study with miles of development under it's belt: the story (set to win 'Best Writers' Discussion Work 2017') has already wracked up over several notes of acclaim from esteemed writers, directors, dictators, and CEOs. We can only wait to see what's to come.
Meanwhile, not much has been done on other fronts. SKNV progress has aplenty, with a finalized idea of the plotline which took around half a year to make, as well as additions to Littleborough's promenade. SA progress has been quiet, but undoubtedly been continued.
And I hope to start my own Bible Camp, having already rented out a former warehouse and taken a $20,000 loan from the bank. I hope for the best, as this will be a great new money maker while I hemorrhage funds from our current legal troubles, as well as my bitch ex-wife Sharon's alimony.
What should be the next city for GTA?
GTA VICE CITY STORIES
MOVIES & TV
SITE SUGGESTIONS & FORUM SUPPORT
Welcome to the fifth week of SK Central! I’m your host, Slimeball Supreme, and we’ll be highlighting this week’s happenings in the SK Universe.
So this isn't really relevant, but around my elbow area my arm has been having these sporadic pains. I have no idea what's causing it, since I haven't really injured it or anything, but it's been a real pain in the ass. I've googled reasons why and sh*t like that, like WebMD sh*t, but nothing seems to be coming up and I'm getting kinda worried.
I don't want to go to a physician just yet but is anyone else having problems like this?
We're sad to say, but we here at SK Weekly have officially let writer Rostislav Pischalnikov, known to you all as Pastry, due to legal difficulties. Like we said in the legal section, we will be elaborating on this in Pastrie's Automobiles.
Unfortunately, due to current legal disputes and problems with the Writer's Union, we had to cancel this issue of Pastrie's Automobiles.
Today's pick was GOING to be the 1971 edition of the Ford Pinto.
While this magazine has been essentially solely written by head writer, editor and publisher slimeball supreme, this part of the magazine was indeed written by fellow Spanish King and Estonian Writers' Union member Pastry all about cars I would usually make him write.
From the start, Mr. Pastries was never exactly too enthusiastic about writing the Automobiles segment, saying it 'didn't fit with the rest of the issue' and that the 'joke had worn thin'. Unfortunately, he kept writing, until a recent complaint was submitted by the EWU about salary irregularities and potential underpayment of workers. As a writer myself and a proud anarcho-capitalist, I take great offense to these claims (and that the union is even questioning me like this) and I absolutely WILL dispute them in court along with my lawyer, Maurice Rosendorff.
When I pressed him for comment, he said he would write one last issue of Pastrie's Automobiles, but instead scrawled down a bunch of nonsense and added this image with a hidden message inside;
(Due to advice from my lawyer, some of this message has been censored)
While Pastries isn't considered a member of our writing staff anymore, we decided to sit down with current Deputy Chairman of the Estonian Writers' Union, Mihkel Kukk, to talk about exactly why these claims were being filed into international court.
Slimeball S.: Good morning, and thank you for answering our calls.
Deputy Chairman Kukk: Well, thank you for having me. It's always great to answer questions for the press - especially an esteemed publication like the Washington Post.
We've heard you're currently attempting to file a lawsuit against independent media company 'SK Weekly', any information on the case?
Well, at the behest of our lawyers we can't exactly reveal any specific details; but we believe we have strong evidence that this organization has been underpaying their workers and we intend to have them answer for it.
But they are currently involved in a copyright infringement lawsuit with another company concurrent to your case.
This is true, but this in no way detracts from our case.
So then why don't you give us a f*cking break?
Your outdated wage laws are a strain on small businesses, and this case is like any other.
I don't understand, Mr. Alexander.
The minimum wage has been killing jobs thanks to labor rises, and to be honest each country and state has different economies anyway. These bullsh*t lawsuits are only the sign of a dying industry breathing it's last breath.
I'm sorry, is this a joke? You've asked me for an interview and--
Mr. Kukk, you've had plenty of time to speak. As a union member, you have been throttling job creators for f*cking YEARS, and we've had a hard time playing catch up. But luckily, luck-a-f*ckily, you motherf*ckers are dying out. (Laughs) Nobody's even in f*cking unions anymore you pinko sh*t
Sir, I think I'm going to leave. Truly, at this point, I believe I've been mislead. Goodbye, Mr. Kastrati.
Wait, wait - one more thing.
What's the objective best color?
I can see why you're named C.uck, ahha! lmao you motherf*cker you got f*cking owned. see you in court motherf*cker
Today, in celebration of our new thread: we're officially making our first double feature of Fah's Music Treatz.
Our first song is the hit second part to the 2017 banger 'B.I.G. (Brad is Gay)', a beautiful duet performance and an ode to member straightupmenace's homosexuality. This track decides to disregard Australian trap rapper 'Lil.Thinksta' in favor of Romanian rap sensation Savage Mike. With smashing one-liners like 'oovie oovie/that's what he said' and 'round the mend/round the merry go i go', it's addition to the upcoming King's Project mixtape only cements it's future success.
Album: The King's Project
Release Date: November 17th, 2017
Label(s): Spinach Kids Records
An ode written by user Star-Lord, Mr. Lord had spun beautiful poetry about his long awaited return to the GTAF cesspool... and these lyrics are brought to life enthusiastically by Australian hip-hop star, entrepreneur, journalist and aspiring reality TV star Lil.Thinksta.
Release Date: November 17th, 2017
Label(s): Spinach Kids Records
Writer(s): Star-Lord (formerly PCGuy)
Pastry - Pastrie's Automobiles