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f14tomcat
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#61

Posted 17 October 2014 - 05:52 AM

From Amphibious Assault

 

Carl: When I was a little kid swimming off the beach in Sta. Maria... I once had a condom stuck to my face. Horror like that stays with you for life.

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Tikhung
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    ............

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#62

Posted 17 October 2014 - 08:51 AM

From Amphibious Assault

 

Carl: When I was a little kid swimming off the beach in Sta. Maria... I once had a condom stuck to my face. Horror like that stays with you for life.

 

In the same cutscene:

 

Woozie: I have...a confession to make. I'm blind.

CJ: No sh*t!

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MrPeteyMax
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#63

Posted 17 October 2014 - 10:54 AM

"I smoke b'cuz it gives me KNOWLEDGE." - Mr. Orange 12.

 

"Like it says in the book, we are blessed and cursed..."

"What f*ckin' book?" - Carl Johnson.


MacGeek
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#64

Posted 17 October 2014 - 10:44 PM

I laught sometimes xD


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#65

Posted 20 October 2014 - 09:12 AM

Hilly billy ped aka zombie ped -My mama showed me how to f*ck

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Richard S
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#66

Posted 22 December 2014 - 09:05 AM

i like the Backpacker guy say--- Have you seen a sperm?? its alive.        

 

LOL :lol:  :lol:


 dice
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#67

Posted 22 December 2014 - 11:02 AM

I smoke cus it gives me knowledge

SimonStudios
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#68

Posted 22 December 2014 - 12:38 PM

I like some quotes from ls and sf police officers and one of ballas with white shirt.

 

But my favourite is:

 

LS Cop - "This is makes me hungry."

SF Cop - "I'm gonna take you down."

 

And other characters like:

 

Cesar - "You mess with the Aztekas!"

Big Bear - "No one mess with the bear!"

 

In "Los Desperados" Sunny's funny quote:

 

"Those Vagos man, I'm gonna <...> cacos.

 

And in "Running Dog" when the Vagos say to Big Smoke:

 

"Chinga a tu madre, pendejo."

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helpplease
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#69

Posted 23 December 2014 - 05:13 AM

"Dont do it; think of thatcher"

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Daniel879
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#70

Posted 26 December 2014 - 09:00 AM Edited by Daniel879, 26 December 2014 - 09:00 AM.

Toreno: Now first let's see what you're made of 

CJ: What do i look like iam made of? Pudding ?

 

Or

CJ: Gettin lil edgy fellas ?

Tenpenny: How'd you like that you piece of sh*t. That give you any idea how edgy iam ?

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HeroBrineR007
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#71

Posted 26 December 2014 - 09:46 AM

Cesar: And now we bail out of the car, right CJ?
Melvin: I'd like 2 numbrer 9's, a number 9 large... you know...

BiPolarBear
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#72

Posted 27 December 2014 - 04:19 AM

Cj reply to an insult:Well won't you go join the line to bang your moma?!

J32T3R
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#73

Posted 27 December 2014 - 06:48 AM Edited by J32T3R, 27 December 2014 - 06:48 AM.

taxi driver SF: "Thank goodness it's a union cab."

English ped: "You bloody Yank."

guy in orange and black: "Give me drugs! Forget about the car."

MythicalCreature
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#74

Posted 27 December 2014 - 07:26 AM

That scene in 'Ryder':
"Ryder! Not this again!"
"It ain't me, fool!"
"I don't know anybody so short! I feel sorry for your father!"
Then Tenpenny mocking Ryder in 'Catalyst':
"What's cooking? Where's mine?"

"What should I call you? Midget?"
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Cell Tennyson
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#75

Posted 27 December 2014 - 09:26 AM

Ha ha ha funny!! :)

 

Now here's what i found funny..

 

Black Drug Dealer:- Ei partner i'm working man, whatchu need whatchu need dog??

 

CJ : (Shouts) Get out of here Motherf*cker!!!

 

I lauged for 10 mins... :) :D :D :D


HeroBrineR007
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#76

Posted 27 December 2014 - 02:55 PM Edited by lil weasel, 27 December 2014 - 04:24 PM.

i appreciate your input, but please, f*сk off!
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Luna 51
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#77

Posted 30 December 2014 - 02:31 PM Edited by s2n vaniish, 08 January 2015 - 04:50 AM.

LS criminal (the one that will hang in Ganton)
"In the Penn, we play strip football"
"Steroid's make your d*ck do what?!"
 
EDIT: My Favorite one in the entire game
 
Tenpenny: "What should I call you then, midget?"
Pulaski: "How about pr*ck?"
Tenpenny: "Pr*ck..."
Pulaski: "Yeah pr*ck works."
Ryder: "Man, f*ck you."
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Awesome Boy
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#78

Posted 30 December 2014 - 03:46 PM Edited by Awesome Boy, 30 December 2014 - 03:47 PM.

My most favourite quote is from Woozie in the Mountain Cloud Boys mission

"YOUR MOTHERS WERE DEMON SLUTS! YOU GUYS WILL WANDER AS GHOSTS!"

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Bustmeifyoucan
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#79

Posted 07 January 2015 - 04:37 PM

Didn't somebody tell you bikes are dangerous? (When knocked out someone from bike)

Get the army I'm a f**king maniac! (When being chased in high stars)

I'm gonna eat you fool!  :lol: (When he is very fat and punch someone)

I give up now If I was you (When being chased by cops)

I'm a player not a payer! (When lost in the gambling)


HeroBrineR007
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#80

Posted 07 January 2015 - 04:39 PM Edited by HeroBrineR007, 07 January 2015 - 04:40 PM.

CJ: Rollercoaster du dudud duuuuu!
CJ: i appreciate your input, but please, fuсk off!

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#81

Posted 14 January 2015 - 01:47 AM

CJ: I'm Rich and I'm f*cking crazy!! 


Bustmeifyoucan
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#82

Posted 14 January 2015 - 03:28 PM Edited by Bustmeifyoucan, 14 January 2015 - 03:29 PM.

Big Smoke:  Gimme 15, motherf*cker.
Ryder:  I'll write it down in a second. I ain't going to pencil whip you, fat sucker. Let me play first.

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chemicalmert
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#83

Posted 17 January 2015 - 09:20 PM Edited by lil weasel, 17 January 2015 - 10:09 PM. cautioned post.

There are some absolutely classic lines in S.A. Whether its memorable mission lines or pedestrian one liners!
Such as when CJ is getting chased by police:

Police Helicopter Pilot 1: Stop! Police!
Police Helicopter Pilot 2: I think he knows that by now!

Police Helicopter Pilot 1: This is aerial support...
Police Helicopter Pilot 2: Yeah, I think he knows that by now!

Police Helicopter Pilot 1: Hey, I can see my house from here!
Police Helicopter Pilot 2: Will you shut the f*ck up?

yeah it's my favourite, too :)

<< You do not need to post a quote to show appreciation. Use the "LIKE THIS" feature instead. {lw >>

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HoleInTheSky
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#84

Posted 18 January 2015 - 12:34 AM

While CJ loots a corpse: "it's going to a good cause - me!"


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#85

Posted 18 January 2015 - 11:55 PM

It's my constitutional right bitch!


"I'm a motherf*cking genius!" -Ryder, 2006


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#86

Posted 19 January 2015 - 11:45 AM

"This should help keep my belly full". An obese CJ, taking money from a dead body.


babo
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#87

Posted 19 January 2015 - 03:11 PM

lol how many times have I heard CJ screaming "I hate gravity!!"


Platypus Chairlines
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#88

Posted 19 January 2015 - 03:30 PM Edited by pavulabreaker, 19 January 2015 - 03:30 PM.

You think you can roll this van without killing us both?

-Ryder


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#89

Posted 20 January 2015 - 12:35 AM

Cars can't fly bitch!!!

Spoken by Grove Steen gang member. It was so funny when i first time heard it, those little details...


HeroBrineR007
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#90

Posted 20 January 2015 - 03:57 PM

CJ - Toreno?
Toreno - Carl, learn to fly.
CJ - I'm on it man, I swear.
Toreno - Yeah, I'm on it man I swear, same old broken record Carl, but that's fine, because your brother's getting a new cell mate tonight. Horse Cock Harry. And I'm sending a present, little wedding present. Big tube of lube!
CJ - sh*t dude, ok, ok, I swear man, I'm gonna be the best pilot!
Toreno - I'd love to hear you Carl, I can't hear you, all I can hear is your brother's love cries, as eight kilometers of cock finds its way up his ass. Aooooowww - that's your brother, ok? No big problem.
CJ - Wait! Please, man!
Toreno - That was my last motivational speech, understand? Am I being too spiritual for you, Carl?
CJ - Ok man, I get the message.
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