Quantcast

Jump to content

» «
Photo

What's your Warstock description for the P-996 Lazer?

32 replies to this topic
buff magik
  • buff magik

    Player Hater

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Jul 2015
  • Australia

#1

Posted 3 weeks ago

Submit your own Warstock description for the P-996 Lazer fighter jet...

--------- --------- ------

Going through a gender transition? This aircraft is more of a man than you will ever be. Concerned about your reputation? Well don't be, no one here gets out alive. And do you know what it means to feel like God? Then look no further than the P-996 Lazer fighter jet. Blood will rush, your knees will buckle, and prolapse will increase by over 14,000%. City-wide genocide is truly inevitable.

Please note: This aircraft is excluded from Pegasus Lifestyle Management and must be stored in a personal hangar. Also note: Prolapse cannot be solved by calling Lester or eating snacks.
  • Forza Harrd likes this

whywontyoulisten
  • whywontyoulisten

    Adapt or die

  • Members
  • Joined: 22 Jun 2015
  • United-Kingdom
  • Helpfulness Award

#2

Posted 3 weeks ago

Ok.

  • Arrows to Athens, N R G and jerryinohio78 like this

The Sole Survivor
  • The Sole Survivor

    of vault 111

  • Members
  • Joined: 13 Aug 2014
  • United-Kingdom

#3

Posted 3 weeks ago

pointless and overpriced. buy the hydra.
excluded from PLM for added f*ck you.
  • StormerBoy, Pedinhuh, Forza Harrd and 2 others like this

polaris23
  • polaris23

    Homie

  • Members
  • Joined: 23 Apr 2014
  • United-States

#4

Posted 3 weeks ago

Buyers beware: the production model of this vehicle only allows for respray customization.
  • Alvarez, Arrows to Athens and HaRdSTyLe_83 like this

Gaffa™
  • Gaffa™

    The controversial one

  • Members
  • Joined: 01 Aug 2006
  • United-Kingdom

#5

Posted 3 weeks ago Edited by Gaffa™, 3 weeks ago.

You're about to buy an explosive cannon and a paintjob for $6.5 million. How many screws do you have loose up there to consider this? This will finish any job you can't. Or maybe it won't. 

 

or 

Money doesn't buy happiness, right? Especially when you've got something with 'vanilla' in it, and who likes that these days? Well I suppose there can always be a first for everything. 

  • StormerBoy and Goingcrowd9 like this

Prince_Polaris
  • Prince_Polaris

    Where did I park my Tornado?

  • Members
  • Joined: 01 Apr 2017
  • United-States
  • Next DLC Thread Page 3000 Winner

#6

Posted 3 weeks ago

holy f*ck stop with the anal prolapse stuff this is getting weird

  • Red Lynx 23 and Forza Harrd like this

Alvarez
  • Alvarez

    Boss

  • Members
  • Joined: 03 Oct 2013
  • None
  • Next DLC Thread Page 3000 Winner

#7

Posted 3 weeks ago

Well, it's a modern fighter jet. What did you expect? This pinnacle of modern defense budget dispersion is now freely available for everyone with the necessary funds and taste bad enough to paint it pink chrome to go under in a fireball in the skies.

P-996 Lazer. You deserve this.

  • Red Lynx 23 likes this

The Sole Survivor
  • The Sole Survivor

    of vault 111

  • Members
  • Joined: 13 Aug 2014
  • United-Kingdom

#8

Posted 3 weeks ago

2 explosive rounds and you're toast. happy flying.
  • Red Lynx 23 and HaRdSTyLe_83 like this

Shadowfennekin
  • Shadowfennekin

    Proud Saints Row and Pokemon Fanboy

  • Members
  • Joined: 23 Oct 2013
  • United-States

#9

Posted 3 weeks ago

"Should have been purchaseable back in 2013, now pay triple the cost of its worth and not even get it as a Pegasus vehicle!

Chrome paint and dollar rims sold separately."

  • StormerBoy, Red Lynx 23, Arrows to Athens and 5 others like this

Gaffa™
  • Gaffa™

    The controversial one

  • Members
  • Joined: 01 Aug 2006
  • United-Kingdom

#10

Posted 3 weeks ago

"Should have been purchaseable back in 2013, now pay triple the cost of its worth and not even get it as a Pegasus vehicle!

Chrome paint and dollar rims sold separately."

 

I think it is a Pegasus Vehicle though. 


delorianlazarus
  • delorianlazarus

    Thug

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Jul 2017
  • France

#11

Posted 3 weeks ago

Thanks!
R*

Pedinhuh
  • Pedinhuh

    Get down on it!

  • Members
  • Joined: 10 Jun 2014
  • Brazil

#12

Posted 3 weeks ago Edited by Pedinhuh, 3 weeks ago.

"Look at this thing, what do you see? What it installs on you? Fear? Intrigue? Trauma?...Arousal?

Whatever it is, this thing has started its first flight in the 70's and still manages to get the job done and ruin anybody else's fun...But their ruin is YOUR fun, so what are you waiting for? Open up your wallet, let it bleed a little, so you can live a little longer than the poor bastard in the cross hairs of your rapid-fire explosive cannons"
  • Shadowfennekin and Goingcrowd9 like this

Jammsbro
  • Jammsbro

    Pogo 4 life

  • Members
  • Joined: 06 Dec 2014
  • Scotland

#13

Posted 3 weeks ago

Think the Hydra is an unstable piece of paper that a small gust of wind can blow of course? Sick of having your Hydra crumple to dust every time you graze a leaf? Buy the new Lazer.

 

At only twice the price you can have a slightly different aircraft than the one you already paid millions for.

  • Shadowfennekin and Red Lynx 23 like this

StangOne50
  • StangOne50

    BEASTMODE

  • Members
  • Joined: 10 May 2013
  • United-States

#14

Posted 3 weeks ago Edited by StangOne50, 3 weeks ago.

Would die if I just saw this gif next to a pic of the Lazer

AN51POI.gif


DrRumpleSweatyForeSkin
  • DrRumpleSweatyForeSkin

    Jet Lover & Freemode Terrorist Since 2013

  • Members
  • Joined: 14 Jul 2015
  • Antarctica

#15

Posted 3 weeks ago

...still cant believe this sh*t is happening

  • StangOne50 likes this

_47_
  • _47_

    Leutenant Colonel USAF

  • Members
  • Joined: 26 Jun 2015
  • United-States

#16

Posted 3 weeks ago

Only the self absorbant rich would throw away 6 million for an overpriced underperforming paper thin military jet. COUNT ME IN!  :happy:

 

It may only take 2 explosive sniper shots. Hey, you win some and you lose some but it will be damn fine being able to spawn this thing anywhere on the map. 

  • dead goon likes this

RyuNova
  • RyuNova

    Punk-ass Bitch

  • Members
  • Joined: 27 Apr 2017
  • None

#17

Posted 3 weeks ago

Remember when the most expensive thing you had to worry about what The Adder? So do we, thats why we have taken an icon from that era, jacked the price up and added nothing else. 'MERICA, f*ck YEA!

  • StangOne50, Alvarez, Red Lynx 23 and 3 others like this

Jammsbro
  • Jammsbro

    Pogo 4 life

  • Members
  • Joined: 06 Dec 2014
  • Scotland

#18

Posted 3 weeks ago

With the price of these f*cking planes I am actually starting to root for griefers. These clowns paid a fortune to grief. LET THEM GRIEF!!!!

  • StangOne50 likes this

P34NUTZ
  • P34NUTZ

    Captain Cockmunch

  • Members
  • Joined: 06 Jun 2016
  • United-Kingdom

#19

Posted 3 weeks ago

"That's right, we're recycling a vehicle that was already available in the game for free and slapping a $6million pricetag on it. That's how little we care about you and this game. CHA-CHING!"
  • StangOne50, Alvarez, Shadowfennekin and 3 others like this

xwinkx_girlYakuza
  • xwinkx_girlYakuza

    Join my crew : Girl Yakuza

  • Members
  • Joined: 28 Aug 2017
  • United-States

#20

Posted 2 weeks ago Edited by xwinkx_girlYakuza, 2 weeks ago.

 “I don’t always buy jets, but when I do, I prefer P 996 Lazer,” and “Stay frosty, my friends.”

  • StangOne50 likes this

MechanicMammal
  • MechanicMammal

    Trick

  • Members
  • Joined: 16 Dec 2013

#21

Posted 2 weeks ago

Here is my description.

"Are you to lazy to go outside your hanger to borrow one? Do fancy a 6.5 million pound paint job? Do you enjoy being shot down by single prop aircraft?

If the answer is yes then your in luck! you can now purchase the oldest military Jet in the game 3 years after you first stole one."

  • Goingcrowd9 likes this

elfoam
  • elfoam

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 14 Apr 2014
  • Australia

#22

Posted 2 weeks ago

The once scourge of GTA online now available to paint for the bargain price of 80 USD !. (But soon to be redundant when we release the P45)


Elektra
  • Elektra

    Playa

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Apr 2016
  • United-States

#23

Posted 2 weeks ago

"Buy it or die" 😈
  • Amy Vinewood and Happy Hunter like this

BLACK DYNAM1TE
  • BLACK DYNAM1TE

    GRAND THEFT DONALD

  • Members
  • Joined: 06 Feb 2014
  • United-States

#24

Posted 2 weeks ago

Too little. Too late.

EkaSwede
  • EkaSwede

    PC Player

  • Members
  • Joined: 24 Nov 2015
  • Sweden

#25

Posted 2 weeks ago

"Buy it. If you're one of the players who make the "because the game told me to" excuse whenever you blow up someone's sell mission, you have to buy it. Because we told you to. And you can't think for yourself. Buy it. You can paint it in chrooooooome."

  • Goingcrowd9 likes this

SaveTheZombies
  • SaveTheZombies

    We Only Want Your Brains

  • Members
  • Joined: 13 Apr 2014
  • United-States

#26

Posted A week ago

The epitome of a government jobs program, nobody's military will take them any more but our government still spends millions having them made. Now instead of letting them sit in the middle of the desert unused, you can have one for the 'reasonable' price of $8mil. C'mon, your taxes alone can't pay for our military spending.

  • Amy Vinewood likes this

Piro
  • Piro

    Pilot // The Lazlow Show fan

  • Members
  • Joined: 05 Sep 2016
  • None
  • Next DLC Thread Page 3000 Winner
    Next DLC Thread Page 3000 Photoshop Winner

#27

Posted A week ago

"If you can afford to buy this thing then you clearly have more money then you should have... We are also happy to inform you that we will be adjusting your account soon enough.
Have fun with those paintjobs in the meantime."


CVF Autos
  • CVF Autos

    Car Brand

  • Members
  • Joined: A week ago
  • Greece

#28

Posted A week ago

Submit your own Warstock description for the P-996 Lazer fighter jet...

--------- --------- ------

Going through a gender transition? This aircraft is more of a man than you will ever be. Concerned about your reputation? Well don't be, no one here gets out alive. And do you know what it means to feel like God? Then look no further than the P-996 Lazer fighter jet. Blood will rush, your knees will buckle, and prolapse will increase by over 14,000%. City-wide genocide is truly inevitable.

Please note: This aircraft is excluded from Pegasus Lifestyle Management and must be stored in a personal hangar. Also note: Prolapse cannot be solved by calling Lester or eating snacks.

Did you expect accuracy and strength?If yes,then you wont get accurracy,but you will get the millitary look that serves up intimidation with the brawn in form of reckless rocket firing.  start your own reign of terror or end one -Warstock Cache & Carry


Arrows to Athens
  • Arrows to Athens

    Kings and Thieves

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Jan 2014
  • England

#29

Posted A week ago

 

"Should have been purchaseable back in 2013, now pay triple the cost of its worth and not even get it as a Pegasus vehicle!

Chrome paint and dollar rims sold separately."

 

I think it is a Pegasus Vehicle though. 

 

It is a PA.


PNutterSammich
  • PNutterSammich

    Gangsta

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Jan 2015
  • None

#30

Posted A week ago

"For the poser who has everything. Here's another thing."





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users