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The Painful Memories, an LCS fanfic

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The Eddo
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#1

Posted 20 July 2017 - 03:39 PM Edited by The Eddo, 16 August 2017 - 05:16 PM.

The Painful Memories
"History tends to repeat itself..."

Summary:

Listen to the story of Kazuki Kasen and learn all about him.
From his dark and haunting past to his hidden love for Toshiko, from Yuka's parents to the Yakuza's origins, all will be revealed, prepare to be scared...

Notes:

The story is already fully written to the end, I'm just releasing it in separate posts for easier reading.

Texts like "KRAAK! KLIK! KLAK! BLAM! KABOOM! NUKE! SLAM! THUD!" etc appear next the entity that emits that sound.

Story:

Part I: The Lurking Darkness

Chapter One: In the Beginning

Location: Tokyo, Japan
Year: 1967
Time: 02:31 AM
Weather: Stormy (heavy and violent rain with cold and freezing temperature, strong and effective winds and loud and frequent thunderclaps)

[The skyline of Tokyo appears.]
[Beautiful-looking rain droplets form on the screen like on VC PC with SkyGFX installed.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "I am Kazuki Kasen..."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "The beginning of my life was all bright, but slowly, it all faded into just complete black darkness."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "The kind of darkness that wants you dead, the one which lurks in every corner of your life, ready to blow your head off."

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "I could feel the lurking darkness close in for the kill."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "What happened back then was the most horrible thing."

[Kazuki's father is sitting at a bench in an empty waiting area of a hospital.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Everything was very well in the beginning, Father was a very nice person."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "He used to treat Mother very well, with respect and everything."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "My parents were very peaceful, very tranquil, they never used to fight."

[An annoyed nurse arrives and quickly hands Kazuki's father his two new sons, Kazuki and Kenji.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "When I was born, I wasn't born alone..."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Came attached with me was my brother, Kenji..."

Nurse: "Please, take your sons away! Their screaming is horrible!" [runs off.]
Kazuki's Father: "Odd."

[Two years later...]

Year: 1969

[A two-year old Kazuki peeks into a cradle and looks at his newborn sister, Asuka.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Two years later, Asuka was born, she was so cute back then."

[Asuka looks at his elder brother, smiles and giggles.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Everybody was as happy as they could be."

[Three years later....]

Year: 1972

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "1972, the year when darkness invaded my life."

[Kazuki's mother is sitting on a chair in the backyard, she has tears trickling down from her eyes.]
[Kazuki arrives and looks at the his mother's face.]
Young Kazuki: "Mother? A-a-are you okay?"
Kazuki's Mother: "What?" [sees Kazuki and wipes her tears off] "Oh, don't worry, I am fine."
Young Kazuki: "Really?"
Kazuki's Mother: [sighs] "Well..." [begins speaking in a muted voice.]

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Mother revealed that Father had been cheating on her for the past three years."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "He had an affair with a unknown woman, who I'd like to refer to as... a mystery witch."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "And that just started a fire, a fire of anger, hatred... and vengeance."

[Kazuki's father violently grabs his wife and violently slaps her.]
Kazuki's Mother: [tears forming in her eyes, gasps] "How could you?"
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Father became a sadistic wife and children beater."

[Kazuki, Kenji and Asuka, peeking out from behind a wall, see this and gasp.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "His abuse was only limited to beating up Mother, Kenji, Asuka and me."

[Kazuki's father walks up to Kazuki and punches him.]
Young Kazuki: [collapses] "Ow! Why did you torment me?!" [spits out a tooth and a bit of blood.]

[The blood gets splattered on the screen, creating a few blood droplets.]

[Kazuki's father sends Kenji a kick in the face.]
Young Kenji: [collapses] "Ow! That really hurt!"
Young Asuka: [seeing his father about to hit her] "Mother, help!"
Kazuki's Mother: [grabs his husband's fist before he can hurt Asuka] "No! Take me instead! Don't hurt my children! Please, not them! I beg of you, please!"

[Asuka runs away.]
Kazuki's Father: "Shut the hell up, woman!" [grabs his wife by the back of her hair and takes her away.]

[Kazuki's sad face expression slowly turns into an angry one.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Father's aggressive behaviour towards Mother passed down to me, making me a very dangerous threat for a certain woman."

[A three-year old Toshiko is secretly seeing all of this through a small window.]
Young Toshiko: "Oh my, what a brute!" [gets up and runs off.]

[Three months later...]

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "This went on for three months, but then one day..."

[Kazuki's mother punches her son.]
Young Kazuki: "Ow!"

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Mother turned evil and became what Father was..."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "This did not affect Mother and Father's relationship in any way, he was still beating Mother up..."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "And then another three months later..."

[Three months later...]

Time: 8:00 PM

[Kazuki picks up his mother's diary and begins reading it.]
Kazuki's Mother: [voice only, reading diary] "Dear diary, what have I become?!" [sobs] "I abuse my children all the time!" [begins crying] "And I just cannot stop it."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Just when Mother realized how much abuse she had been putting Kenji, Asuka and me through..."

[One hour later...]

[Kazuki's mother is being beaten up by his husband.]
[Kazuki's father stops beating up his wife and pulls out his Beretta.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "It all went too far."

BLAM!

[A badly-beaten up Kazuki's mother gets shot in the forehead and collapses, dead.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "The moment the bullet plunged itself into Mother's head, my life plunged itself into darkness."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "One bullet changed my life forever."

[Kazuki, Kenji and Asuka witness this.]
Young Kazuki: [in slow motion, of course] "MOTHER! NOOOOOOOOO!" [falls on knees.]

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "He had killed Mother, he was going to pay."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Father didn't care about me, Kenji and Asuka being the eyewitnesses."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "In fact, he didn't even care about getting caught by the police."

[One week later...]

[Kazuki returns home from school, enters the kitchen to find his father with his mistress.]
Kazuki's Father: "Kazuki! Look what I got for you, your new mother!"
The Mistress: "Hello, Kazuki, where are your siblings?"

[Kazuki, angry, looks at his father's mistress' face.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Only a week after that, Father married that mystery witch."

[Kazuki exits the kitchen, heads upstairs, enters his father's bedroom, opens the bedside table's drawer and picks up the Beretta.]

KLIK!

[Kazuki violently loads the gun up.]

[Kazuki heads downstairs and enters the kitchen.]
Young Kazuki: [holds Father at gunpoint, tears in his eyes] "This is for Mother!"
Kazuki's Father: [scared] "No, wait! I was just doing as I was told! Please, don't kill me!"

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Outside of his abusive behaviour, he was really a coward."

BLAM!
BLAM!

[Kazuki kills his father and his father's mistress by shooting them in the head.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "They'd see the pain, both of them did."

BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!

BLAM!
BLAM!

[Kazuki continues to shoot at his father's corpse.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "When Father finally went down, I wanted to make real sure he'd stay that way, he deserved it."

[Kazuki stops shooting and drops the gun.]

[Twenty years later...]

Day: Monday
Date: 3rd
Month: February
Year: 1992
Time: 05:43 PM
Weather: Post-rain Cloudy (with clouds cleared up enough to let sunlight in)

[Kazuki is a diner, sitting at a table with serious look on his face.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "That was twenty years ago, everything ripped apart because of that mystery witch."

[Kazuki gets up and leaves.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "The police didn't know about the murders, so I got away with it effortlessly."

[Later that day...]

[Kazuki arrives at his house in a cul-de-sac neighborhood surrounded by the trees of a nearby forest outside Tokyo's city limits.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "After that incident, Kenji, Asuka and I moved out to a neighborhood outside the city."

[Kazuki enters his house and sits down on the couch.]
[Kenji is sitting on another couch next to the one Kazuki is sitting on.]
Kenji: "A word from the boss, he wants a guy whacked."

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Kenji and I were working as hitmen for a gang called the Axe Gang, one of the only two gangs in Tokyo."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "The other gang was the Hammer Gang and both gangs were fighting a mob war."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "The gangs were making well use of their hitmen for aid in the war."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "By randomly sending them out after a randomly-chosen high-ranking mobster in each other's gangs."

Kazuki: "Okay."
Kenji: [pulls out a photo of Freight Train] "There is this guy, his name is Freight Train." [puts the photo on the table] "He is big, tough, strong and high-ranking."
Kazuki: "Is that so?"
Kenji: "Yes, he is the muscle of the Hammer Gang, if we take him out, we will be big-time!"
Kazuki: [reluctantly] "Okay, fine."

[Kazuki and Kenji get up and leave.]

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "I had always hated commiting crimes, I didn't wanted to be a criminal, I wanted to be an average citizen, a nice guy."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "But the darkness in my life kept dragging me back."

[Later that day...]

Location: The Docks of Tokyo
Time: 7:31 PM

[Kazuki and Kenji peek out from behind a warehouse's side and look at Freight Train (a big fat mobster), who is overseeing the offloading of some boxes.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "The docks were the Hammer Gang's territory, I had to be careful."

Kazuki: [walks up to Freight Train] "Hey, Freight Train."
Freight Train: "What?" [notices Kazuki and Kenji] "Now just who the heck are you guys?"

Kazuki: "We are from the Axe Gang and we are going to take you out."
Freight Train: "Oh well." [pulls out two bricks] "Eat this!" [throws the bricks at Kazuki and Kenji.]

SLAM!
SLAM!

[The bricks hit Kazuki and Kenji in their faces and they get knocked over by the impact.]
Kazuki: [gets up] "Now you must face the consequences!" [picks up a brick lying on the top of a cardboard box and throws it at Freight Train.]

SLAM!

[The brick hits Freight Train in the face and he gets knocked over by the impact.]
Kenji: [notices a group of mobsters coming] "Run, Kazuki!" [runs off, dragging Kazuki along.]
Kazuki: "We will return, Freight Train!"

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "I failed to to kill Freight Train."

This doesn't end here, expect a Chapter Two!

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Jeansowaty
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#2

Posted 20 July 2017 - 06:04 PM

I know Kazuki and the others are Japanese, but I changed it to South Korean because Koreans look WAY better than Japanese, I have nothing against Japanese though.

No. Just no. This was a terrible decision, sorry.

 

I liked the chapter where the Kasen's past was revealed, quite well. I can see you took inspiration from Max Payne, even a bit too much. I don't know but there is something wonky about Kazuki calling his father a backstabbing bastard though. Overall, it's OK, continue it. I'm curious what will come out of this.

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The Eddo
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#3

Posted 21 July 2017 - 06:04 AM Edited by The Eddo, 21 July 2017 - 06:26 AM.

 

I know Kazuki and the others are Japanese, but I changed it to South Korean because Koreans look WAY better than Japanese, I have nothing against Japanese though.

No. Just no. This was a terrible decision, sorry.

Why?

 

 

I don't know but there is something wonky about Kazuki calling his father a backstabbing bastard though.

He learned that word from his father.

 

 

 
Overall, it's OK, continue it. I'm curious what will come out of this.

A lot will come out of this, prepare to be scared.

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Helegad
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#4

Posted 21 July 2017 - 09:05 AM

Aw f*ck, it's happening again.

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#5

Posted 21 July 2017 - 09:12 AM

Well this idea of relocating them is kinda plotbreaking... and sorry but it's kinda silly, like, you did that for no reason :p I can ignore that though.


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#6

Posted 21 July 2017 - 10:36 AM

Why..
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#7

Posted 21 July 2017 - 11:06 AM Edited by B_Smiles, 21 July 2017 - 11:07 AM.

So, uh where's that max payne leftover fixes you're apparently making?
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#8

Posted 21 July 2017 - 12:11 PM Edited by Jinx., 21 July 2017 - 12:13 PM.

Spoiler


Overall, the story seems okay-ish for the most part, but there are some things to be ironed out:

-Yakuza originate from Japan and not from Korea. You might aswell rename it to some other name if the Kasens are Koreans now. If not, keep them Japanese.
-How can 2-5 year olds rationate so much? I mean they are still dumb children at that point. Atleast make them a bit older by making the entire daddy issues happen later.
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#9

Posted 21 July 2017 - 02:01 PM

I know Kazuki and the others are Japanese, but I changed it to South Korean because Koreans look WAY better than Japanese, I have nothing against Japanese though.


"I'm not racist, but..."
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#10

Posted 21 July 2017 - 02:02 PM Edited by The Eddo, 22 July 2017 - 06:12 AM.

-How can 2-5 year olds rationate so much? I mean they are still dumb children at that point. Atleast make them a bit older by making the entire daddy issues happen later.

Edited out the words "backstabbing" and "bastard" from Chapter One, anything else I can do?

 

-Yakuza originate from Japan and not from Korea. You might aswell rename it to some other name if the Kasens are Koreans now. If not, keep them Japanese.

If I renamed the Yakuza, it will cause recognization problems, and even if I did rename them, they will be called "Gaeng Dan-Won", then.

Yakuza means gangster in English, which is Gaeng Dan-Won in Korean.

 

Well, TIME FOR A FOURTH REWRITE.

 

P.S: Do you really want to know why I changed it to South Korean?


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#11

Posted 21 July 2017 - 03:21 PM

Well sure, spill it out :O


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#12

Posted 21 July 2017 - 05:26 PM

Well sure, spill it out :O

South Korean women are beautiful, so I wondered how beautiful Toshiko would look if she was South Korean.

 

THIS IS NOT A PERSONAL THOUGHT, I see this from a writer's perspective.

 

Well, that's it.


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#13

Posted 21 July 2017 - 06:06 PM

How about you make CJ white then you goddman racist
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#14

Posted 21 July 2017 - 06:40 PM

How about you make CJ white then you goddman racist

When did I say I hate the Japanese? I'm COMPLETELY neutral with them, I don't hate them.

 

Besides, everything in a story is the designer's choice, so South Korean Kasens are my choice and most people are okay with that (especially Jeansowaty).


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#15

Posted 21 July 2017 - 07:54 PM

But if you're so adamant on making them South Koreans for the dumbest reason, why not just make your own story with original characters who are South Korean?
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gts.
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#16

Posted 21 July 2017 - 09:01 PM

@GTA Mods Staff: Please kindly pin the topic to the top of LCS section so everyone can see it, thank you.

Spoiler
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#17

Posted 21 July 2017 - 09:28 PM Edited by Jinx., 21 July 2017 - 09:29 PM.

>MOST PEOPLE

bPdKaCv.gif
(stole ur gif gts lole)

congrats on breaking the gta lore with the sh*ttiest reason ever.

And no, it's not the "designer's choice" when you're building upon a story. Unless that story has lots of plot holes (gta advance). Like Phil said, you might aswell just create new characters and such and it would make more sense than what it is now.
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#18

Posted 22 July 2017 - 06:11 AM

YET ANOTHER FANFIC REWRITE, reluctantly changed the Kasens' nationality back to Japanese thus fixing up that lore thing you're talking about.

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#19

Posted 22 July 2017 - 08:26 AM Edited by The Eddo, 16 August 2017 - 05:51 PM.

Chapter Two: A Two-Bit Hitman

[Kazuki and Kenji return home, with patched wounds on their faces, and sit down at the couch.]
Kazuki: "I still cannot believe we failed."
Kenji: "Don't worry, we will get him tomorrow."
Asuka: [exiting the kitchen, talking on the phone] "Stop crying, Toshiko, it will be fine." [after a pause] "Okay, fine, see you later." [hangs up.]
Kazuki: "Who you were talking to?"
Asuka: "My old friend, Toshiko, her father is her only living relative, he is in the hospital and he is going to expire soon."
Kenji: "That is bad."

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "I didn't know who Toshiko was back then, but I was a bit willing to know about her."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Her name was a small hint of her beauty."

[Asuka walks off to her room.]
Kenji: "So, uh, Kazuki, how are we going to take him out?"
Kazuki: "I don't know, maybe use guns next time?"
Kenji: "Well, we cannot afford them yet so I think we should try a sneaky approach."
Kazuki: "Hmm."

[Next day...]

Time: 04:32 PM

[Kazuki, Kenji and Asuka are strolling through the forest.]
[Kazuki runs by, stepping in a puddle.]

[Kenji follows and falls straight through into the puddle.]
[Asuka stops short and steps over it.]
Asuka: "Puddles can be so messy."
Kazuki: "Hey, Asuka, hurry up will you? We need to get back home." [walks off a cliff.]
Asuka: "Kazuki, stop!"
Kenji: [running off the cliff into Kazuki] "Nice day today, eh, Kazuki?"
Kazuki: "Kenji, I–"
Asuka: "Uh, Kazuki?"
Kazuki: "What?"
Asuka: "Improbable alert!"
[Kazuki realizes he's standing on thin air and rushes to safe ground.]

[Kenji stays where he is.]
Asuka and Kazuki: "Come back, Kenji!"
Kenji: "I can jump it!"
Asuka and Kazuki: "No, Kenji!" [they pull Kenji back back.]
Asuka: "Now what do we do?"
Kazuki: "I am thinking, I am thinking."
Kenji: "Can I think?"
Asuka and Kazuki: "NO!"

[Later that day...]

Time: 12:31 AM
Location: Kazuki's house

[Kazuki is in bed, sleeping peacefully.]
[Suddenly, flies start to swarm around Kazuki.]
[Kazuki waves the flies away and rolls over.]
[The flies return, however, and Kazuki awakes a little to see something startling; Kenji.]
Kazuki: "Kenji! What are you doing in my bed?"
Kenji: "I can't sleep, Kazuki, I keep thinking; why don't birds just take a bus south for the winter?"
Kazuki: "Just get out of here." [goes back to sleep.]

[Flies start to swarm around Kazuki again.]
[Kazuki waves the flies away again and rolls over.]
[The flies return, however, and Kazuki wakes up again to see Kenji still lying next to him.]
Kazuki: [politely and calmly] "Kenji." [after a long pause] "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" [kicks Kenji out of the bed.]
Kenji: "Ow, my behind hurts." [gets up and grabs Kazuki's right leg] "Kazuki, why does goo float?" [drags Kazuki off.]

[A clock on Kazuki's stove reads 3:14.]
[Kazuki, exhausted, has curled up into a corner of the kitchen and Kenji's barrage of questions is still going strong.]
Kenji: [opening and closing the refrigerator door] "Kazuki, when you close the fridge door, does the little light stay on?"
Kazuki: "GO TO SLEEP!" [Kenji continues to play with the door.]

[The camera is positioned outside the kitchen window as a light turns on and off.]
Kenji: "Hello light." [close and open] "Hello light." [close and open] "Hello light." [close and open] "Hello light." [close and open] "Hello light."

[It is morning, Kazuki has gotten no sleep, and Kenji is still asking questions.]
Kenji: [with a carrot] "Kazuki, carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?"
Kazuki: [getting up] "If you are going to strain your peanut brain, think of something more important! Like–how to get your face on a YEN!"
Kenji: "Kazuki, why there is no breakfast yet?"
Kazuki: "Uh... let's just make some."

[Later that day...]

Location: The Hammer Gang Warehouse

[A truck drives past a stack of boxes, Kazuki and Kenji peek out from behind the stack.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "So there I was again, a two-bit hitman aspiring to be a big-time mobster."

Kazuki: "There he is, let's go in and get him." [looks at Kenji] "Hand me the guns, Kenji."
Kenji: "What? I thought we were going sneaky!"
Kazuki: [shushing Kenji] "Ssh! You are going to get us into trouble!" [looks back at Freight Train] "Uh-oh, we are bust."
Freight Train: "Not you again, asshole!"
Kazuki: "RUN!"

[Kazuki and Kenji run off, Kenji takes the street behind the stack of boxes while Kazuki takes the one to the left of the boxes.]
Kazuki: "SCATTER!"
Freight Train: "Scatter, eh?" [goes after Kazuki.]

[Freight Train chases Kazuki like in this video.]

[Freight Train and Kazuki eventually end up the same way like in the end of the video; Freight Train crashes into a billboard while Kazuki escapes, limping.]
Kazuki: "See you in the hospital, Freight Train!" [laughs.]
Freight Train: [getting up] "Why you-" [runs after Kazuki.]
Kazuki: [trips over a Desert Eagle lying on the road] "Ow!" [looks at the gun] "Huh?" [looks at the incoming Freight Train] "Hmm."

[Time slows down.]
[Kazuki quickly grabs the gun.]

BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!

[Kazuki kills Freight Train by shooting him four times in the torso.]
[Time speeds up back to normal.]
Kazuki: "Good riddance." [gets up and limps off] "Fat-ass idiot."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "But this time, the hit was successful..."

[Kazuki checks the gun's clip, which has three bullets left in it.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "With only three bullets left in the gun..."

Well, Kazuki wins and Freight Train loses, that's all.

 

EDIT:

 

Sorry for the double post.

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#20

Posted 22 July 2017 - 02:03 PM

YET ANOTHER FANFIC REWRITE, reluctantly changed the Kasens' nationality back to Japanese thus fixing up that lore thing you're talking about.

Good job.

 

Okie, nice work on part 2, but why did you make Kenji such a borderline retard? And how old are they supposed to be at that time? Perhaps add an explaination that the last time Freight Train hit them with bricks it caused Kenji to receive some brain damage? idk

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#21

Posted 22 July 2017 - 04:11 PM Edited by Mach1bud, 24 July 2017 - 10:50 PM.

Kazuki and Kenji are twenty-five while Asuka and Toshiko are three years younger than them.

 

Kenji's dumb behaviour was inspired by Ed's behaviour from Ed, Edd n' Eddy.

 

Thanks for the idea of Kenji getting brain damage by the way, I will surely add some scenes related to this in Chapter Three.

 

 

 

Fanfic name changed to "The Painful Memories", this title seems a bit more appropriate and was originally intended for use.

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The Eddo
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#22

Posted 26 July 2017 - 06:56 AM Edited by The Eddo, 15 August 2017 - 06:03 PM.

BIG APOLOGIES for double-post, but I wanted to post the fanfic chapters in separate posts to avoid text cluttering.

 

Chapter Three: Blood-Splattered Flowers

[Kazuki and Kenji meet up outside their house, exhausted.]
Kazuki: "Freight Train is dead."
Kenji: "That is good but I am really tired, so let's go inside."

[Kazuki and Kenji enter the house and sit down on the couch.]
Kenji: "The boss needs us at the Wang-Uof Communications Garage for a meeting, so prepare yourself, okay?"
Kazuki: "Fine."

[Later that day...]

Time: 08:05 PM
Location: Wang-Uof Communications Garage

[Kazuki and Kenji are walking down a dark street.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Kenji and I went to attend a meeting at a garage."

[Kazuki and Kenji arrive at the entrance to the garage.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Something was not right about this..."

[Kazuki and Kenji walk all the way to the top of the garage.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Lee Hong was the leader of the Axe Gang."

[Lee notices Kazuki and Kenji.]
Lee: "So there you are, huh? Took you long enough."
Kazuki: "Sorry."
Lee: "What's up with Freight Train?"

Kazuki: "Dead."
Lee: "Good, now listen-"

BLAM!

[An Axe Gang mobster gets shot in the head by a Hammer Gang mobster on a nearby roof.]
Lee: "What the-" [pulls out an M4 and opens fire on the mobster.]

[A group of ten Hammer Gang mobsters arrive.]
Kenji: "It is a hit! Give me a gun!" [an Axe Gang mobster hands him a Uzi.]

[This music starts playing.]
Kazuki: [turning around] "Damn!" [pulls out the Desert Eagle.]

[Time slows down.]
[Kazuki shootdodges to his right like Max Payne.]

BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!

[Kazuki manages to take out three mobsters while dodging the enemy fire.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "It was a bit unexpected that the Hammer Gang would arrive to stop the meeting."

[Kazuki lands behind a Kuruma and the time speeds back up to normal.]

[Lee escapes in a black Stretch, Kenji takes cover behind some boxes and Kazuki takes cover behind the Kuruma.]
Kazuki: [to an Axe Gang mobster] "HEY! Give me a gun!" [drops the empty Desert Eagle.]

[The Axe Gang mobster tosses Kazuki a brick.]
Kazuki: [catches the brick and looks at it] "Hmm." [throws the brick back at the mobster.]

SLAM!

[The brick hits the mobster in the head.]
[The mobster passes out and drops a Mac-10.]

[Kazuki jumps out of his cover and heads for the Mac-10 lying on the ground, doing evasive rolling dodges on his way like Max Payne.]
Kazuki: [picks up the Mac-10] "Now you are all dead!" [opens fire on the Hammer Gang mobsters while laughing evilly.]
[A Sentinel begins driving towards Kazuki in an attempt to run him over.]

[Kazuki does an evasive rolling dodge to his right and dodges the car.]
[The car pulls to a stop and the driver exits the car.]

BLAM!

[Kazuki kills the driver by shooting him in the head.]
[Kazuki drops the Mac-10 and picks up the Pump-Action Shotgun dropped by the driver.]
[Kazuki notices an AK47-wielding Hammer Gang mobster approaching.]

[Time slows down.]
[Kazuki shootdodges to his left and shoots at an explosive barrel next to the mobster.]

KABOOM!

[The barrel explodes, killing the mobster.]
[Kazuki lands.]
[Time speeds back up to normal.]

[Kazuki gets up, drops the shotgun, runs over to the dead mobster and picks up his AK-47.]
[Kazuki crouches and takes out the final eight Hammer Gang mobsters.]

[Kazuki stops shooting.]
[The music fades into complete silence.]
Kazuki: [gets up] "Well, that is the last of them." [drops the gun.]

[Kazuki looks around.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Their men were no match for me, I killed them all."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "The dead mobsters lying around made me think about a boquet of blood-splattered flowers."

[Kazuki looks around to see everyone dead except him, Kenji, three Axe Gang mobsters and the passed out Axe Gang mobster.]
Kenji: "Is it over?" [walks up to Kazuki.]

[The approaching police car sirens echo in the area.]
Kazuki: "Uh-oh." [to Kenji] "Quick! RUN! We need to get out of here before the police arrives!" [runs off, dragging Kenji along.]

[The passed out Axe Gang mobster wakes up.]
Axe Gang Mobster: "Huh?" [gets up and looks around] "Hmm, I must have killed them in my sleep!" [laughs.]

[Later that day...]

[Kazuki and Kenji return home.]
Kenji: [sits down on the couch, very tired] "Tired, so tired." [takes off his shoes and socks, lies down on the couch and instantly falls asleep.]

[Kazuki enters his room, takes off his shoes and socks, jumps onto the bed and falls asleep.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "With nothing else left to do, I was able to get a good night's sleep at the end of the day..."

Kazuki and Kenji managed to make their way out of a deadly attack, but what will happen next? Await Chapter Four.

 

My largest apologies for double-post, I honestly feel bad after double-posting.

 

EDIT:

 

So, uh where's that max payne leftover fixes you're apparently making?

Check my signature, it's available now.

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InkJaw
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#23

Posted 05 August 2017 - 08:04 AM

A boquet of blood-splattered flowers! Genius! I love your writing. It is so very genuine and it reminds me very much of the writing in Grand Theft Auto IV. Apply to be a writer for Rockstar sometime, you could be making hits!

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#24

Posted 14 August 2017 - 07:09 PM

A boquet of blood-splattered flowers! Genius! I love your writing. It is so very genuine and it reminds me very much of the writing in Grand Theft Auto IV. Apply to be a writer for Rockstar sometime, you could be making hits!

Thank you very much, Mr. InkJaw.

 

Unfortunately, I am having internet problems (don't ask which problem) so Chapter Four is going to be DELAYED.

 

But don't worry, I will try to upload it as soon as possible!


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#25

Posted 16 August 2017 - 06:00 PM Edited by The Eddo, 17 August 2017 - 07:27 AM.

Sorry for double-post, I could've just clicked on the Edit button, but it causes the text to clutter a bit.

 

Anyways, here it is:

 

Chapter Four: The Yakuza

Time: 9:05 AM

[Kazuki and Kenji are sitting at the dining table in the kitchen.]
Kazuki: "Honestly, Kenji, I am tired of this job, all day we are running around and killing people just to get paid."
Kenji: "You are right, Kazuki, and we are not even being paid enough for this! All the money gets spent on this." [points at a patched up wound on his face.]
Kazuki: "I have a plan."
Kenji: "What plan?"
Kazuki: "We are going to build our own gang and break these lousy Hammers and Axes to pieces."
Kenji: "Okay, but what our gang's name will be?"

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Right then, a name popped up in my mind... the Yakuza."

Kazuki: "The Yakuza."
Kenji: "Hmm, good name, let's see what we can do."

[Later that day...]

[Kazuki is walking down a street.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "It was another dark day of my life."

[Toshiko is coming from the other end of the street.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "But I didn't expect that I would meet someone."

[Kazuki sees Toshiko.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "A certain someone who was going to change my life forever."

[Kazuki and Toshiko walk past each other in slow motion, looking at each others' faces.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "My lovely Toshiko."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "God, that dimple on her face nearly killed me."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "She was so beautiful... hair tied into a loose bun, silky yellow kimono and a soft, smooth, silky and white face."

[Time speeds back up to normal, Kazuki and Toshiko continue to walk in their respective directions.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "She looked so peaceful, so tranquil, which she indeed was."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "She was no less than a cute Japanese doll."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Her beautiful face gave me a reason to stay alive."

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "It was literally impossible to describe her beauty."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Was it her face or the moon itself?"

[Asuka is waiting for Kenji outside their house.]
[There are six tubs full of gravy in front of Asuka.]
[Kenji arrives with six lighters.]
Kenji: "Let's burn the gravy and see what happens."
Asuka: "Simple, gravy is liquid, it will extinguish the fire."
Kenji: "Let's just find out." [throws one lighter in each tub] "Well, I guess that solves-"

NUKE!!!

[The screen instantly turns white with a loud explosion.]
[The screen fades out from white after a few seconds.]
Kenji: [charred] "Curse this American dish." [collapses.]

Kenji: [narrating in the background] "Then I understood why Mother always said to stay away from gravy."

[One extreme clean-up later...]

Time: 9:11 PM
Weather: Rainy

[Kazuki, unable to sleep, continously tosses and turns.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "I couldn't sleep at night, a strange feeling had overtaken me, I had to find a way to get rid of this feeling somehow."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "But there was something really distrubingly familiar about Toshiko, it felt like I was looking for her for a long time..."

[A spider crawls onto it's web in a corner of the ceiling Kazuki's room.]
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "What is in the questions... is never found in the answers."

[Next day...]

[Kazuki arrives at the Axe Gang's garden.]
Lee: "Kazuki, good thing you showed up!"
Kazuki: "What is going on, boss?"
Lee: "An inside guy told me that the Hammer Gang's dispatched some well-trained and well-armed hitmen after me, and they're gonna outnumber us all!"
Kazuki: "That is going to be tons of idiots to worry about then."
Lee: "Yeah, so what we're gonna do about this?"
Kazuki: [thinking] "Hmm."

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "The Hammer Gang's hitmen were coming for Lee, I needed find a way to stop them."

[Kenji arrives.]
Kenji: "Hey, boss."
Kazuki: [looks at Kenji and gets an idea] "I think I have an idea."

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "Kenji's attempt to burn the gravy yesterday gave me an idea."

[Five minutes later...]

[Twelve tubs full of gravy are arranged in front of Lee.]
Lee: "Gravy? How you'll kill them with this?"
Kenji: "It is not food, it is a nuke."
Lee: "A nuke?!"

Kenji: "Yes, and this time I improved it by adding everything that tastes spicy and I also added twelve bottles of Extra Super Uber Maximum Strength Laxative."
Kazuki: [facepalms] "Anyways, here is the plan; as soon as they get here, we throw lighters in these and run the hell out of here, simple."
Kenji: "We will never be able to escape, it explodes in about two seconds."

Lee: "Is this self-defense or suicide?!"
Kazuki: "It is a fifty-fifty chance, who knows?" [hands Kenji a whole box of lighters.]
Kenji: "I tried this with six tubs yesterday and the whole city was a charred mess, I wonder what will happen this time..."

[The Hammer Gang's hitmen arrive.]
Axe Gang Mobster: "They're here, Kenji! Detonate it!"
Lee: "Oh, damn!"

[Kenji quickly pulls out twenty-four lighters from the box and throws two lighters in each tub.]
Kenji: "Ha! Eat this!"

DOUBLE NUKE!!!

[The screen instantly turns white with a VERY LOUD explosion.]
[The screen fades out from white after a few seconds.]
[Everyone is dead except Kazuki, Kenji, Lee and all mobsters of the Axe Gang.]

[Debris and lots of other things fall from the sky.]
Lee: [charred, angry] "You idiots!" [suddenly calm] "But I'll still pay you." [hands Kazuki 100,000 yen] "Good work." [collapses.]
Kazuki: [charred] "Oh well, I guess that is that." [puts the money in his pocket] "Let's go, Kenji." [walks off with a charred Kenji.]

Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "The gravy turned out to be very useful, and it was worth a lot of money."
Kazuki: [narrating in the background] "It was quite strange how Lee paid us with such a large sum of money."

[Kazuki and Kenji return home.]
Asuka: "What did you get today?"
Kazuki: "A total of 100,000!" [drops the money on the table] "We are rich!"
Asuka: [impressed] "Nice one, what did you do to get paid this much?"
Kenji: "We burned the gravy in front of them!"
Asuka: "What? Again?!"
Kazuki: "And we accidently taught Lee how to use the gravy as a nuke."

[Asuka facepalms.]

Lee Hong now knows how to use gravy as a nuke! What will be the fate of the Hammer Gang now? Find out more in Chapter Five!

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Jeansowaty
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#26

Posted 19 August 2017 - 06:47 PM

That was a tasty chapter. But why does grease explode? Lel your story is becoming more of a comedy XD





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