New, naive Marketing Guy: Hi, guys, I'm the new rep from Rockstar marketing. They're not doing anything over there; they just have their heads completely up their ass, as always.
I came over here to the dev studio, because I'm bored sh*tless and I thought maybe I could find something vaguely marketing-like to do, 'cause I'm gonna need to put something on my resume, when Rockstar marketing inevitably tanks, from being totally top-heavy and useless.
So, I thought I'd just look in on what you guys are doing and try to turn it into some upbeat fan fluff that I can put out in a twitter blurb every couple of months. Doesn't matter if it's real, or whatever. The fans'll go apesh*t, regardless. Just trying to keep the fans from gnawing their arms off, out of sheer boredom and frustration.
So, what have we got going on here? Hey, I see you're working on some mountains. How's that coming along?
Bored Sh*tless Dev #1: JFC, I've been making mountains at Rockstar for the last 13 years. I'm so f*ckin' bored, I could die. All these goddamned mountains look the same. The only criterion is to make them steep enough that a cowboy on a horse can't climb up and get outside the game world. That's my only requirement, you believe that? Why can't these f*ckin' world designers come up with something better, like a wrap-around world that doesn't need mountains? Holy sh*t, I'm so f*ckin' tired of mountains... I which they'd let me design a shed. But once you're specialized, it's too late. Damn. I'm so tired of f*ckin' geology, I could cave in my skull with a rock pick.
New Marketing Guy: Hmmm, I'm trying to figure out if I can make a nice blurb out of that. Let's see... "We're in full development of amazing new, HD landscapes, never before seen in the history of video games!"
Bored Sh*tless Dev #1: WTF????
New Marketing Guy: Well, I'll tune it up a little bit tonight, after a couple of glasses of wine. The first draft never sounds good. Don't worry about it. I'm an English major. I get paid to figure out how to use words to make bad things sound good.
Adventures of the New Marketing Guy, to be continued...