Quantcast

Jump to content

» «
Photo

Red Dead Redemption 2 development team parody thread

32 replies to this topic
Zello
  • Zello

    Hired gun

  • Members
  • Joined: 20 Oct 2013
  • United-States

#1

Posted 17 June 2017 - 02:34 AM Edited by Zello, 17 June 2017 - 02:58 AM.

Inspired by Saintsrow's thread and a couple of my posts.

 

Pretend that you work for Rockstar games and are on the development team for Red Dead Redemption 2.  You can roleplay as yourself, The Housers, or whatever your mind makes up. This is all just for fun.

 

Welcome to a world filled with drama, sex, drugs, and violence. Welcome to Rockstar games.

 

 

Sam Houser's office, Rockstar Games New York

 

Sam is in his office laughing with Dan and a couple of his friends. They were looking through internet comments about people being disappointed that they weren't at E3 and laughing their asses off.

 

"They really thought we'd be at Sony. Pfft as if." The men continue laughing then an angry Strauss Zelnick storms into the office, furious.

 

"You gonna stop this madness?"

 

"What makes you think you can just walk in here and disrespect me?" Sam said "Who do you think you are?"

 

"I'm here because I respect you and don't want you to throw our reputation and your reputation down the drain."

 

"Don't act like you respect me. Turning the franchise me and Dan built into some microtransaction online focused bullsh*t."

 

"That's none of your business."
 

"You suits put microtransactions into all of your games and expect me to turn the cheek."

 

"Those microtransactions keep you out of the poor house. You guys haven't released anything in four years. Just like the Benz I'm starting to wonder what have you done for me lately?"

 

"Don't you dare bring him into this!" Sam raises his voice "I'm sitting here patiently working on Red Dead Redemption 2 trying to provide the best experience for our fans. While you're trying to rush it out the door."

 

"I run this company my way now Sam. You've had too much influence here for far too long. It's time this madness ends."

 

Sam gives Strauss a look. Strauss has seen that look before he's never been on the receiving end of Sam's rage but he's heard the stories and starts heading towards the door.

 

"Look Strauss the next time you come into my office either you come back heavy or not at all."

 

Strauss leaves

 

"Now where were we?"

 

Sam and his friends continue looking through internet comments and giggling.

  • saintsrow, Spider-Vice, UltraGizmo64 and 4 others like this

D T
  • D T

    Rat

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Apr 2010
  • None

#2

Posted 17 June 2017 - 04:46 AM

Dan: bro i just googled how gta 5 mods work and i think its this tool called openiv
Sam: oh nice one bruv lets shut it down
Dan: lol wait the community might get mad or something 
Sam: nah take-two is gonna send the c&d, its k
Dan: what u mean?
Sam: yeh those fanboys will just blame T2 instead of us lol
Dan: oh ya LOL good thinkin
 

THE END

  • UltraGizmo64, Noclue_42 and Pedinhuh like this

thc_404
  • thc_404

    Prankster

  • Members
  • Joined: 29 Oct 2006
  • None

#3

Posted 17 June 2017 - 11:31 AM

Too bad none of this is funny.

  • Tomasak, alex3, Coycaine and 3 others like this

Noclue_42
  • Noclue_42

    How much for the ape?!

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Germany

#4

Posted 17 June 2017 - 12:55 PM

Imran: listen I'm sorry but I don't think I'm enough of a Benz to replace the Benz. what he did was real magic, and even if you had me look over his shoulder for years he never taught me his ways. I just.....can't do it, sorry!

Sam: BUT YOU'RE MY NEW BENZ, GET INTO f*ckIN GENIUS MODE AND MAKE ME MILLIONS....WHICH I'LL SNATCH FROM YOU IN THE FUTURE, HIGHLY PROBABLE!

Dan: you best do as he says, or you'll drown in sand once he really starts unloading on you. him shouting instead of talking is just...normal

Imran: ... listen I'm just not as skilled as the benz and it will all take at least 1 or 2 years longer than you expected, and that quality won't be reached anyhow

Sam: IDGAF!

Dan: word bro.

Imran:...


Stoney0503
  • Stoney0503

    Buster, Straight Buster

  • Members
  • Joined: 03 Aug 2014
  • United-Kingdom
  • April Fools Winner 2015

#5

Posted 17 June 2017 - 03:50 PM

Dan Houser: my name jeff
  • Donald J Trump, Tomasak, M0rk and 4 others like this

Dee.
  • Dee.

    GTAV= Style over substance

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Jun 2015
  • United-States

#6

Posted 17 June 2017 - 08:32 PM

The criiiinge.....

 

hVbsS85.gif

  • toxluv and mombo2811 like this

Noclue_42
  • Noclue_42

    How much for the ape?!

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Germany

#7

Posted 17 June 2017 - 09:26 PM

the ignorance....

 

Paris_Tuileries_Garden_Facepalm_statue.j


Dee.
  • Dee.

    GTAV= Style over substance

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Jun 2015
  • United-States

#8

Posted 17 June 2017 - 09:39 PM

Says the guy that thinks The Benz was R*'s saving grace


Noclue_42
  • Noclue_42

    How much for the ape?!

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Germany

#9

Posted 18 June 2017 - 04:14 AM

deedog, don't derail the thread please. just because YOU fail to understand and/or don't want to participate in some good old stupid fun here, doesn't mean you have to ruin the fun for everyone else. pretty immature don't you think?


confederatestatesgta
  • confederatestatesgta

    garou the badass hero hunter from one punch man.

  • Members
  • Joined: 31 May 2013
  • United-States

#10

Posted 18 June 2017 - 05:53 AM

it all started one day when I was at work at rockstar games. I walked in booted up on my awesome read dead redemption 2 on ps4. I was riding around on my chromed out horse with a pink spoiler and my favorite rainbow underglow. I formed a posse with my co workers. we spent a few hours playing red dead online. the game was already ready we just wanted an extra year to play in peace before all those glider griefers started. the glider was my invention. I loved the sons of Daedalus stranger mission. I decided why not use that as a hydra replacement. I put some full auto homing cannons on it and a explosive gatling gun. and it is fast too. so we were screwing around until we decided to do some import export carriage. so we were modding our carriages in the heartland customs shop. mine was so sick. it was all pink with chromed out weels. with more rainbow underglow. I also had it fitted with a homing cannon. it was so cool I took a picture of it on my phone. after work I set my phone down on the table. that was a big mistake. my 10 year old son grabbed it and looked at my pictures.

 

next thing I know he starts getting so hyped and falls in love with my picture. so he went on all the social media sights he knew and uploaded the picture. the internet went wild. everyone got hyped even more. and mrbossftw uploaded 57 videos about it in the same day. it was cool to see the whole world buzzing over something I did. unfortunately it turned bad. the screenshot had my gamertag xxxxxswagkillanoscopexxxxxx. rockstar saw it and fired me. rockstar delayed it for 5 years because they had to take out all the cool stuff. the neon lights, spoilers, full auto homing cannons. even my overpowered glider. so that's why the game is the boring realistic and not fun game that you play. I mean who wants that crap? I miss my turbo pink chrome carriage. well tomorrow they release the 4th singleplayer dlc. all those singleplayer fans are hyped but im not. I think im just gonna play gta online from now on.

 

I hope you got some good laughs out of this. I made it up as I went along so its not perfect. I like this thread.

  • saintsrow, Noclue_42, StJimmy and 2 others like this

Noclue_42
  • Noclue_42

    How much for the ape?!

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Germany

#11

Posted 18 June 2017 - 07:20 PM Edited by Noclue_42, 18 June 2017 - 07:26 PM.

lel dude ^ don't you like neon colors? tsss.....

 

sam: BRO I GOT NEON COKE. LET'S DO THE WHOLE BAG AND THEN HEAD TO VEGAS AND KILL SOME STRIPPERS

dan: nuh I don't like that.

sam: WHAT? KILLING STRIPPERS?

dan: no not that

sam: DO A BAG OF COCAINE?

dan: nigga please...

sam: THEN WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM MATE?!

dan: I can't stand neon

sam: OH....OH WELL, MORE FOR ME AHAHHAHAHAA

 

*sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiff*

  • Zello likes this

Jon Jon
  • Jon Jon

    Jonny Boy

  • Members
  • Joined: 11 Feb 2015
  • United-States

#12

Posted 18 June 2017 - 11:04 PM

*the Housers browsing GTAForums after RDR2 is delayed*

Housers: Look at all of those people crying!

Housers: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

*the Housers then wipe away their tears of laughter with a handful of $100 bills*

Spoiler
  • saintsrow and Zello like this

thc_404
  • thc_404

    Prankster

  • Members
  • Joined: 29 Oct 2006
  • None

#13

Posted 18 June 2017 - 11:53 PM

deedog, don't derail the thread please. just because YOU fail to understand and/or don't want to participate in some good old stupid fun here, doesn't mean you have to ruin the fun for everyone else. pretty immature don't you think?

"fun"

Are you serious dude? This is "fun" to you? You need some hobbies if that's the case.


Noclue_42
  • Noclue_42

    How much for the ape?!

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Germany

#14

Posted 19 June 2017 - 06:15 AM Edited by Noclue_42, 19 June 2017 - 06:16 AM.

 

deedog, don't derail the thread please. just because YOU fail to understand and/or don't want to participate in some good old stupid fun here, doesn't mean you have to ruin the fun for everyone else. pretty immature don't you think?

"fun"

Are you serious dude? This is "fun" to you? You need some hobbies if that's the case.

Yeah, this is some "good old stupid fun" to me. I've got plenty of hobbies I try to devote time to, but man I tell ya time is little when you've got a job and a family to look after

BTW what's your hobby? Assuming others don't have hobbies because they like something you dislike? ooooookay then, have fun mate!


Zello
  • Zello

    Hired gun

  • Members
  • Joined: 20 Oct 2013
  • United-States

#15

Posted 19 June 2017 - 06:13 PM Edited by Zello, 19 June 2017 - 06:14 PM.

it all started one day when I was at work at rockstar games. I walked in booted up on my awesome read dead redemption 2 on ps4. I was riding around on my chromed out horse with a pink spoiler and my favorite rainbow underglow. I formed a posse with my co workers. we spent a few hours playing red dead online. the game was already ready we just wanted an extra year to play in peace before all those glider griefers started. the glider was my invention. I loved the sons of Daedalus stranger mission. I decided why not use that as a hydra replacement. I put some full auto homing cannons on it and a explosive gatling gun. and it is fast too. so we were screwing around until we decided to do some import export carriage. so we were modding our carriages in the heartland customs shop. mine was so sick. it was all pink with chromed out weels. with more rainbow underglow. I also had it fitted with a homing cannon. it was so cool I took a picture of it on my phone. after work I set my phone down on the table. that was a big mistake. my 10 year old son grabbed it and looked at my pictures.

 

next thing I know he starts getting so hyped and falls in love with my picture. so he went on all the social media sights he knew and uploaded the picture. the internet went wild. everyone got hyped even more. and mrbossftw uploaded 57 videos about it in the same day. it was cool to see the whole world buzzing over something I did. unfortunately it turned bad. the screenshot had my gamertag xxxxxswagkillanoscopexxxxxx. rockstar saw it and fired me. rockstar delayed it for 5 years because they had to take out all the cool stuff. the neon lights, spoilers, full auto homing cannons. even my overpowered glider. so that's why the game is the boring realistic and not fun game that you play. I mean who wants that crap? I miss my turbo pink chrome carriage. well tomorrow they release the 4th singleplayer dlc. all those singleplayer fans are hyped but im not. I think im just gonna play gta online from now on.

 

I hope you got some good laughs out of this. I made it up as I went along so its not perfect. I like this thread.

Yeah man we miss you around the office. You were the guy who came up with the flying unicorns for online. Oh well we're still enjoying playing Red Dead Online by ourselves in peace.

  • saintsrow and Jon Jon like this

thc_404
  • thc_404

    Prankster

  • Members
  • Joined: 29 Oct 2006
  • None

#16

Posted 19 June 2017 - 06:41 PM

 

 

deedog, don't derail the thread please. just because YOU fail to understand and/or don't want to participate in some good old stupid fun here, doesn't mean you have to ruin the fun for everyone else. pretty immature don't you think?

"fun"

Are you serious dude? This is "fun" to you? You need some hobbies if that's the case.

Yeah, this is some "good old stupid fun" to me. I've got plenty of hobbies I try to devote time to, but man I tell ya time is little when you've got a job and a family to look after

BTW what's your hobby? Assuming others don't have hobbies because they like something you dislike? ooooookay then, have fun mate!

 

You have children and this is how you decide to spend your time? Jesus.


confederatestatesgta
  • confederatestatesgta

    garou the badass hero hunter from one punch man.

  • Members
  • Joined: 31 May 2013
  • United-States

#17

Posted 19 June 2017 - 10:13 PM

I know zello those unicorns were so fun. if you want I can sell you a modded account with it in there. it will only cost you 1 billion in cactus cards.

  • saintsrow and Zello like this

Zello
  • Zello

    Hired gun

  • Members
  • Joined: 20 Oct 2013
  • United-States

#18

Posted 21 June 2017 - 05:06 AM Edited by Zello, 31 August 2017 - 03:24 AM.

Rockstar games Breakroom
 
A couple developers are in the breakroom chatting and enjoying a couple of drinks when Dan walks in. The developers were busy talking about their plans for Red Dead Redemption 2 and online.
 
"We're gonna add in chrome horses and charge people 5 million in cactus cards."
 
"It took me 18 months of hard work to get chrome to look good on those horses man. I can't wait to finally try it in online."
 
Dan Houser slams the fridge
 
"Who the hell took the last glass of champagne?" Dan said "That was my champagne!"
 
Dan sees one of the developers drinking champagne.
 
"So you just like to drink all of the champagne huh?"
 
"I just finished working on chrome horses man. Figured I should celebrate."
 
Dan opens the fridge
 
"Lets see what we got here orange juice, soda, tea all of these options but noooo you wanted the f*ckin champagne. Do you know how much a bottle of Dom Perignon costs?"
 
"Well I didn't see your name on it."
 
"You don't think do you? I put that champagne all the way in the back so no one could get to it. It's not even visible you can't even see it in there. Instead you move everything and drink my f*ckin champagne. If you wanted to celebrate you can do it after work you aren't even supposed to be drinking on the job anyway."
 
"Well my f*ckin bad. It's confusing when I see everyone here doing lines of coke. The line between what should be and shouldn't be allowed at work gets kinda blurry."
 
"f*ck you and f*ck your chrome horses. Stop drinking my champagne. By the way what the hell are chrome horses doing in the game anyway who the hell approved that sh*t?"
 
"Umm you did..."

https://www.youtube....h?v=Ag1o3koTLWM

  • saintsrow and Noclue_42 like this

StJimmy
  • StJimmy

    Hater of player haters

  • Members
  • Joined: 30 Mar 2013
  • Canada

#19

Posted 22 June 2017 - 03:36 AM Edited by stjimmy3, 22 June 2017 - 03:38 AM.

Rockstar HQ, somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean:
 
A sweaty Rod Edge runs through the office, heart pounding.
 
"Why now, why now!?" Rod thought, as he ran by a desk where a group of programmers were reskinning another super car to put on GTA Online for a cash amount equal to a Saudi Prince's Jet fuel spending.
 
"He is gonna be pissed." Rod kept sprinting, out of breath almost. "I told him time and time again, we have deadlines to meet." His destination up ahead. Dry blood stains the old carpet in front of the door, and a giant sign scribbled in sharpie reads "do nat facking enter
 
He barges into Dan Housers office and finds him face down in a pile of coke and a pile of game award trophies littering the ground. Piles and stacks of cash rivaling Aztec temples in height surround his desk. The giant banner of the Rockstar logo hangs behind him, drawing eerie parallels of a Nazi rally. 
 
"Oh no... not again" Rod thinks as he sees the scene before him. 
 
"Daniel we've got sh*t news" yells Rod, barely being able to make out the words from his lack of breath. 
 
Slowly and groggily Dan Houser raises his head from the mountain of Colombian cut powder on his desk.
 
"Oy.. you facking Ronald, the fook you doin, I told you not to disturb me during my breakfast" ask Dan as he raises his hands, rubbing his eyes. Little chunks of cocaine particles start falling from his face.
 
Rod gulps. "Well you see sir, T2 just called, it was head office on the line, they've been getting concerned" 
 
"Oy... bout what?" 
 
"Red Dead 2" 
 
"Oy which one that again Reg? The one wit the james bond looking f*ck in the 70s?" 
 
"No thats agent, Red Dead is the cowboy one"
 
Dan stares at Rod for a couple of seconds before his shrunken sleep ridden and blood shot eyes light up.
 
"OY. That one, yes, yes." He scoops up a wad of coke with his finger and starts nibbling at it. "What the fook they want Rob? I told them it'll be out by the end of de year." 
 
Rod, uncomfortable and blinded from the suns rays coming through the window reflecting on Dan's shiny scalp, looks down at the floor.
 
"Well sir, thats the thing, they... they say they are quite angry you see... because its May and we haven't shown them anything ne-"
 
Daniel raises his clean hand, motioning to silent Rod.
 
"f*ck hes pissed" Rod anxiously thought.
 
"Rick..." said Dan softly, breaking the silence, "do you think, that I fooking care about if those suit wearing c*nts up at HQ haf to fooking say?" 
 
Rod kept staring down, a rat running by with a human toe clenched in his teeth grabbed his attention.
 
"Well boy..." Dan answered for himself, sticking his finger in his mouth and sucking off the coke, "I don't. Look at this money, look at it." He exclaims, pointing his foot towards one of the ginormous piles. "Is this the money that take 2 earned?" 
 
Rod quickly looks up and gazes among the mountain of bills.
 
"So much money" He thought. "So much... Blood Money. All this cash, but no one in the office get to touch it. No. Its all for him. For that bald f*ck and his greedy brother. All that money we made was still not enough. Team Bandi, Leslie, how many more will fall before that hairless devil will quench his thirst. Or will he die snorting it all up his nose?"Rod kept pondering and placing his anger, but said nothing.
 
"Oy..." answered Dan again, pulling his finger out of his mouth, the fat appendage covered in saliva sparkled similar to his forehead, "it was we who earned this. Without us take fooking two would be up sh*tes creek. Evolved? Dead. Mafia III? Double dead amigo. Battle-born? That f*ck Randy Pitchford couldn't program a Minecraft server, let alone one of them Overwatch clones." Dans voiced raised. "Nay, we are the ones who earn, and the ones who rule. NOT THEM! Look at the sales Rick, top selling game PS4, third best selling game of this fooking month, in the year of our lord 2017! So nay, I will not heel to some sheepskin lawman asking us to give them a game... that they did not earn."
 
Rod gulped, but remained silent, returning his eyes to the rat nibbling on the dismembered toe. 
 
"So call them back," Dan cooly said, leaning back on his chair. "And tell em... it gets done by next year. Ya, sounds good to me. In the mean time, get the GTA team to start working on some more bullsh*te. Maybe weapon camos for 50 grand or some sh*te." Dan pulled an antique cavalry dagger from a desk drawer and started lining the coke with it. 
 
Rod looked up, his anger built up, and in a brief moment of bravery shouted "But what about the gamers? They are pissed! They've waited 4 years for a new game and all we've given them is sh*tty add-ons to push shark cards, and one glorified tech demo we passed off as a trailer for the new game! Hell, most of them have turned to hackers anyway, because w'ere forcing all this expensive sh*t down their throats!" 
 
Dans eyes darted up from the coke and locked eyes with Rod. His icy black stare penetrating Rod's soul. It was the same stare many programmers at Rockstar last saw before entering the eternal darkness of death. 
 
"f*ck me" Rod panicked in his head, "I should not have said that." 
 
"Rod..." Dan replied, unblinking, his grip on the knife tightening, "the fans can complain and bitch all they blood want. They can hack. They can downvote, they can fooking sign petitions. They can shoot the sh*t and hate on the forums... but I don' fooking care... because they will still buy the fooking game 3 fooking times anyway" Dan yelled as he slammed the knife down on the table. The rat dropped the toe and scurried away under a pile of broken photographs of Geoff Keighley.
 
A silence fell.
 
Dan let go off the knife, but it was dug in too deep to fall over. He looked down at the coke pile, visibly unsatisfied about how much was left. 
 
"Oh and more thing boyo"
 
"...Yes sir?"
 
"Go find whatever the big modding tool is for GTA and take it down, if the players won't pay fairly, that they shan't play as they want. And we'll pin it on the suits down at HQ, the heat should be a little payback for getting smart with us."
 
 
Rod knew that the modding tool wasn't responsible for the money hacking, but he knew arguing would be useless and dangerous. Dan knew it as well, but Rod knew he didn't care. This was a show of force. A threat. A way of using the power he had. 
 
Like the good worker he was, Rod nodded, turned around and left. He closed the door behind him. 
 
"I'm lucky I'm irreplaceable," Rod thought, "If anyone else spoke back at him like that... they'd be sent on a 'church building' mission right away."

 

Rod walked away head down, crying on the inside, and reflecting on the good old days he so sorely missed. 

 

Back in the office, Dan reclined back in his seat, picked up a gold plated phone, dialed in a number and placed it on speaker, and set it down on his belly as he looked up at the ceiling.

 

Ring Ring

 

Ring Ring 

 

"Oy... what the fook you want." Boomed a voice from the phone.

 

Dan looked down and smiled. "Samuel brother, great news, we gotta delay the fooking cowboy game." 

 

"Agent?" Said Samuel, loud club music echoing at the back of the call.

 

"Nay, Red Dead 2."

 

"Aye ok, well then I suppose I could always extend my vacation down here."

 

"Like you ain't do that anyhow?"

 

"ha ha fook you, you fat f*ck... AYE bitch slow down!"

 

A gunshot rings through the speaker.

 

"Sam?" Dan calls towards the microphone.

 

"Aye ye, don't worry, just another c*nt actin smart, trying to steal some of my blow." 

 

"Story of my life brother... stay safe, Mum says hi... oh and bring back some of more of the good stuff." Responded Dan as he looked down at the coke pile.

 

"When should we talk about the game next then?" Asked Sam, music and screams echoing through the speaker still.

 

Dan looked back at the banner of the Rockstar logo behind him. "In a few weeks or so."

 

He pressed the 'end call' button, and fell asleep.

 

-End- 

(For Now)

  • saintsrow, Spider-Vice, UltraGizmo64 and 4 others like this

Zello
  • Zello

    Hired gun

  • Members
  • Joined: 20 Oct 2013
  • United-States

#20

Posted 25 June 2017 - 10:41 PM Edited by Zello, 25 June 2017 - 10:42 PM.

It's June and we've only released a trailer and some screenshots. Where's the marketing department?

Oh wait I forgot we don't have one. Carry on folks. The plan is that the game will just show up at stores one random day in Spring 2018.
  • saintsrow, Jon Jon, gtaoplayer and 1 other like this

Noclue_42
  • Noclue_42

    How much for the ape?!

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Germany

#21

Posted 28 June 2017 - 11:00 AM Edited by Noclue_42, 28 June 2017 - 11:11 AM.

iVcfzxw.jpg

dan capone: "listen ya little maggot ya better go out there take a look at the size of a real horse and stop designing those little ponies. or I'll cut off your tiny little penis ya hear me?!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

gYPwkan.png

samy montana: *le sigh* ....  "Juuuuuust another day at the office."

  • Mister Pink, saintsrow, StJimmy and 2 others like this

Zello
  • Zello

    Hired gun

  • Members
  • Joined: 20 Oct 2013
  • United-States

#22

Posted 02 July 2017 - 04:04 AM Edited by Zello, 02 July 2017 - 06:06 PM.

Snippet of My Life as a Rockstar insider documentary
VAscq7J.png
 
My life as a Rockstar dev was great I got to get paid the big bucks to go work on the games I grew up playing and got to work for the company that I grew up adoring. I ran into a problem though when I got assigned to the Red Dead Redemption 2 team. I liked to go online and leak things to leakers and the media I knew it was wrong I signed an NDA if Rockstar ever found out it was over for me but I just couldn't help myself.
 
At the same time my game development skills were amazing in the couple of months that I was working on Red Dead Redemption 2 I had done so many things that people were calling me the next Benz. I even impressed the bosses at R* but people were staring to get suspicious I sat down with Sam Houser himself. We were at his house after he invited me over for dinner we went outside for a smoke and to talk games.
 
"Listen you're talented but stay away from that leaky faucet."
 
"What?"
 
"The leaks."
 
"Why would I leak stuff?"
 
"Just don't do it. I've already made an example out of a lot of people. If you want to leak sh*t go join Ubisoft or whoever. We don't leak here I'm warning everybody it could be anybody even my brother Dan anybody."
 
"Yeah."
 
"Leaks I don't need them and it ain't gonna happen here. You see anybody leaking anything about Red Dead Redemption 2 you're gonna tell me okay?"
 
Cut to footage of people typing on computer screens and then a man carrying a package to someone at the airport who nods and takes the package to a man who opens it reads the note and then types on a computer. This song starts playing while the leaker narrates.
 
"After a week of trying to stop my leak addiction I blew up. I was sleeping around with a chick that worked at IGN I'd tell her a couple exclusive things about the game so she could keep quiet and all I had to do was lie and tell her that I loved her. It was perfect I'd post leaks all over the net 4chan, GTA Forums, reddit,etc. I had so much leaks that I had to get some help so I hired Yan and Fun to do it for me. I was living life on top of the world at least for the moment."
  • saintsrow likes this

Noclue_42
  • Noclue_42

    How much for the ape?!

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Germany

#23

Posted 03 July 2017 - 01:17 PM

zello this reads like an entry from your diary! once you're in you just can't stop living that leak-life eh?

  • saintsrow likes this

Zello
  • Zello

    Hired gun

  • Members
  • Joined: 20 Oct 2013
  • United-States

#24

Posted 05 July 2017 - 03:23 AM

Are cars supposed to be in the game? Because I put a stallion, cheetah, patriot, BF Injection, oh yeah and the jetpack into the game. I messed with some of the code so it's permanent now I guess we're gonna need another delay to fix this sh*t.

  • saintsrow likes this

Zello
  • Zello

    Hired gun

  • Members
  • Joined: 20 Oct 2013
  • United-States

#25

Posted 31 August 2017 - 03:23 AM Edited by Zello, 31 August 2017 - 03:28 AM.

Man...it's been a while. When was the last time we had a hookers and coke party?

 

Somebody call up Rodrigo it's time we get some of that white stuff in here. Also tell him to bring some honnies

  • saintsrow likes this

Urban Legends
  • Urban Legends

    Innocent Hood

  • Members
  • Joined: 09 Dec 2014
  • United-States

#26

Posted 13 September 2017 - 08:04 PM Edited by Urban Legends, 13 September 2017 - 08:07 PM.

https://imageshack.us/i/poc5ze14j

Rdr Customer service line..how may I help you?

Caller: I heard a release date of Summer is this true?

Operator: No...No...it was Fall along...Sorry! Have a nice day!
  • saintsrow likes this

Dee.
  • Dee.

    GTAV= Style over substance

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Jun 2015
  • United-States

#27

Posted 13 September 2017 - 10:26 PM

...it was never supposed to release this summer though?...


mombo2811
  • mombo2811

    You'll walk... WITH A LIMP!

  • Members
  • Joined: 08 Apr 2016
  • None

#28

Posted 14 September 2017 - 02:39 PM

"GIVE US YOUR MONEY" -Rockstar Games

  • Mister Pink and gtaoplayer like this

Mister Pink
  • Mister Pink

    Cyberpunk

  • The Connection
  • Joined: 03 Nov 2004
  • None
  • Best Poster [Music] 2016
    Best Poster [Music] 2015
    Best Poster [Music] 2014
    Most Knowledgeable [Music] 2013
    Best Contributor [Music] 2012

#29

Posted 17 September 2017 - 12:55 PM Edited by Mister Pink, 17 September 2017 - 01:14 PM.

Rockstar 1: How are we going to monetize Shark Cards? 

Rockstar 2: Eh.. by nature of how they work they are monetized? 

 

Rockstar 1: Yeah.. but are they really? 

Rockstar 2: !?!?

 

Rockstar 1: How about we charge a service charge for the privilege of buying a Shark Card? 

Rockstar 2: Don't be stupid man, they wont fall for that. 

 

Rockstar 1: Come on, we'll give it a snazzy name and the kids will love it. 

Rockstar 2: I don't know.. seems a little unethical, aren't we all ready ripping them off? 

 

Rockstar 1: Dude, have you checked your bank account this quarter? Nobody is forcing these people to buy them.

Rockstar 2: Yeah but we've kind of alienated a lot of fans all ready. The fans not willing to get ripped off from Shark-Cards have deserted Online. 

 

Rockstar1 1: So....? We've just weeded out the freeloaders. Now we've narrowed down our customer base with only people willing to part ways with their real cash in exchange for videogame cash. It's genius!

Rockstar 2: OK, but think about that for a moment. The only people left in our fanbase are people willing to fork over $90 for like $8,000,000. 

 

Rockstar 1: Yes, it's genius, right? Also, it's not entirely true, their parents are funding this too at least for the self-entitled, privileged, underage kids anyway.  And dude, it's 8 million! I wish I could turn 90 bucks in to 8 million. Life would be sweet. 

Rockstar 2: Em, well you see the thing is the Yacht in GTAO is around 8 million. So if you put some context on it, it's like paying for one vehicle/base/ for the price of a new AAA game and one indie or reduced price AAA game. Actually, I've feed my family of 4 for week for €90. 

 

Rockstar 1: OK but they could just play the game and earn money that way. 

Rockstar 2 Sure but they complain about the loading screens, the griefers, the kids, the cheaters, the quitters. It all becomes a grind. Also, a lot of people don't want to be in competition with others that have a real-life monetary gain over them. 

 

Rockstar 1: Well one out of 5 of those things is our responsibility. We can't be responsible for humans being sh*tty, we just provide the platform. If they want they can just go to singleplayer.

Rockstar 2: Well yeah that's the thing.. we abandoned singleplayer in GTA V. For RDR 2 we might try it again. Maybe it's time we focused on the best single player experience and maybe multiplayer can be a work-in-progress and a bonus extra? A feature that will expand over time? But maybe not try spread ourselves thin by trying to do everything at once. Also some single-player DLC will need to be a priorty. I mean look at CD Projekt RED. They got praised for The Witcher 3 and it's generous DLC. It's not a multiplayer game and it's still generating money. They claim to be fans of Rockstar and how we roll. They've publicly said they've been inspired by us. It's like the student is better than than the teacher now. My point is that we used to be the creme de la creme of singleplayer gaming. Online gaming was left up to other series and they did that really well. If we can just make a great single player story again, I think we can win back the fans. 

 

Rockstar 1: OK and how do we implement Shark Cards, in Single Player? 

Rockstar 2: 

 

Post48_VicariousSpotlight.jpg?itok=nmeBh

  • saintsrow, UltraGizmo64, Noclue_42 and 3 others like this

IG_
  • IG_

    Thug

  • Members
  • Joined: 11 Aug 2013
  • Abkhazia

#30

Posted 18 September 2017 - 05:50 AM

All of these seem plausible to be honest.

  • saintsrow likes this




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users