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Gummy 
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#1

Posted 27 April 2017 - 02:59 PM Edited by ~Tiger~, 27 April 2017 - 03:10 PM.

What is BELLICOLOGY?

Bellicology derives from the name of our lord and savior, Niko Bellic. Bellicology is a belief that to become victorious and live the dream you've always asked for, preferably an American dream, one must believe strongly and praise our lord and savior, Niko Bellic.
 

HISTORY OF BELLICOLOGY

 
Bellicology started in 2008, but the story behind started around late 2006/early 2007.
During the darker times of the earth, a mortal by the name of Houser bred a boy named NIKO BELLIC. 
In 2008, the spiritual guide to Bellicology (the Holy Bible of Bellicology) was unleashed to the world.
This Bible, named Grand Theft Auto IV, revealed the story and struggle of our lord and savior, Niko Bellic, with help from fellow prophets, Roman Bellic and Jacob Hughes. Additional appendices named 'The Lost and Damned' and 'The Ballad of Gay Tony' was also uncovered a few months after.
It was in this moment where a man named Vihaan Aryaan started to spread the story and thus gathering fellow believers, thus creating what we know as Bellicology.
 
nUd72rC.png
HOW TO JOIN BELLOCOLOGY
 
Becoming a fellow Bellicologist is easy, one must say the words of Niko Bellic.
 

"Life is complicated. I killed people. Smuggled people. Sold people. Perhaps here...Things will be different."

After one says said words, things WILL be different.
 
BELLICOLOGY PRACTICES
To truly become a real Bellicologist, one must:

  • Wear the clothing of our Lord and Savior.
  • Participate in the practice of Bowling, Pool, Darts, or fast food dining from Cluckin Bell or Burger Shot. If Bowling is chosen pray to the prophet Roman Bellic
  • Move to the closest interpretation of Liberty City, New York City.
  • Play and understand the Bible of Bellicology, Grand Theft Auto IV, at least 7 hours a day
  • Pray to our lord and savior, Niko Bellic, thanking him for all he's given. 6 hours a day.
  • Not to read the satanic Bible, Grand Theft Auto V, and despise those who play it.
  • Attain weapons from black market gun shops, preferably those in back alleys.
  • One must help give lift to unfortunate souls with an Esperanto, the Bellic cab.
  • Create a profile in love-meet.net and becoming a couple with fellow Bellicologists from said site.
  • One must visit the angel palace "The Triangle Club" and lie with partners preferably those from Alderney in midnight.

After those practices are done, you will be victorious, and the American dream will come true.

 

MEET FELLOW BELLICOLOGISTS IN THE CHURCH OF BELLICOLOGY.

 

 

JOIN BELLICOLOGY NOW!

Fellow Bellicologists, say "I am a proud Bellic follower" with a reply and tell them your experience with Bellicology! Invite and persuade more people to join Bellicology with telling your experience! 

  • B Dawg, Nico, lol232 and 10 others like this

Neon_Dreaming
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#2

Posted 27 April 2017 - 04:21 PM

In the name of the Niko, the Roman, and Jacobs holy blunt, Amen.
  • Gummy , Yinepi and DOUGL4S1 like this

CreepShow
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#3

Posted 27 April 2017 - 08:45 PM

Let us pray: Life is sh*t.

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theNGclan
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#4

Posted 30 April 2017 - 05:08 AM

Is it required to smell like cabbage in order to please my benevolent Bellic God?

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Gummy 
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#5

Posted 30 April 2017 - 06:10 AM Edited by Gummy , 30 April 2017 - 06:10 AM.

Is it required to smell like cabbage in order to please my benevolent Bellic God?

As long as you enter a car as a passenger and the driver says that he needs one of those "tree shaped air fresheners", you are already pleasing Bellic God.

  • theNGclan and Yinepi like this

Android
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#6

Posted 30 April 2017 - 06:17 AM

I'm typically not a fan of religion, but this certainly is something special.

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Uncle Sikee Atric
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#7

Posted 30 April 2017 - 03:52 PM

drunkbowling-fb.gif

 

This made this religion happen.

 

Praise be to the holy Bellic, who is never wholly coherent!

  • Neon_Dreaming likes this

Nico
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#8

Posted 01 May 2017 - 08:15 PM

Great Bellic, God among the protagonists, help us to find that special someone in our lives.
  • Gummy  likes this

MIDEVL
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#9

Posted 02 May 2017 - 10:00 AM

I need more tracksuits

  • Gummy  likes this

Gummy 
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#10

Posted 11 May 2017 - 06:27 PM

Fellow Bellicologists, let me share my story. In the hardest of times never lose faith of Niko Bellic! That is what I did and I have been blessed!

 

Spoiler
  • The Deadite likes this

lol232
  • lol232

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#11

Posted A week ago

I know I'm bumping this, but this is simply amazing.

This thread helped me find a new path to righteousness.
  • Gummy  likes this

Gummy 
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#12

Posted 6 days ago

I know I'm bumping this, but this is simply amazing.

This thread helped me find a new path to righteousness.

May our God, Niko Bellic, light a new path for your journey to righteousness, success, The American Dream!


The Deadite
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#13

Posted 5 days ago

This is some good sh*t, cousin.

KratosDrake
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#14

Posted 2 days ago

What are the recommended means of action if I have the Satanic bible and the Bellic bible and fully read both and like each of them a lot?

Burger King and KFC count as places to eat?

Do we gain something if we achieve full Bellicologist status?

Do we gain extra points for wearing Sasha's clothes, as in the model for the manufacturing of Niko Bellic?

Can we pray to minor gods, like Dwayne, Patrick and Brucie?

Last but not least, was that 18+ spoiler really necessary?

The questions I need to know before fully embracing it. Kifflom, brother-brother/sister-sister.




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