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Things you do when nobody is home

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JON22
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#31

Posted 11 October 2016 - 07:55 PM

Eat the crap I've hidden because my brother's a thieving f*ck. Then hide it again. Wish I never let him move in with me sometimes.

Also listen to my fave retro game tracks, then convert them to mp3. Currently listening to Anna's Arcade theme from Tekken 2.
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DarkSavageDeathlyCloud
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#32

Posted 11 October 2016 - 09:24 PM

I start talking to myself,sing out loud, set the music at max volume, invite playdates and running around naked.
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THC
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#33

Posted 11 October 2016 - 10:34 PM

 

Watch porn without wearing headphones.

So... when there's people in the house, you wear headphones? Doesn't that make it more likely that someone is going to walk in on you watching porn, because you can't hear them coming (because you're listening to... someone cumming?)

 

I have cats, there's never nobody home. But when it's just them and me, I like to pretend I'm a villain in a shlocky action movie and they're the heroes that have come to take me down. They have never won. 

 

P.S. To all the sink pissers - my friend used to do this. His sink started emanating a horrible smell one day, so he got the plumber in to take a look. They found this huge mass of ammonia crystals in the sink and the plumber turns to him, looks him straight in the eye and says "Mate, seriously, you've got a toilet. Don't piss in the sink you dirty c*nt."

 

When people are in my house I only put one headphone on so I can hear whatever i'm watching and my other ear is so I can hear if people are coming. But most of the time people are asleep so I can have both headphones on.

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trip
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#34

Posted 11 October 2016 - 10:49 PM Edited by trip, 11 October 2016 - 10:50 PM.

Holy crap. I only recently discovered playing video games and watching movies with headphones...and I still feel and find it weird. Porn would be way too crazy in headphones. For me at least.


It's only me and my wife. When I'm home alone I put on an 80's movie and take nap.
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El Dildo
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#35

Posted 11 October 2016 - 10:54 PM Edited by El Diablo, 11 October 2016 - 10:55 PM.

on the rare opportunity that the house is empty I'll just play my guitar as loud as the amp will go.

move the couch back out of the way. dance around and pretend I'm on stage. in front of thousands. living the fantasy...

 

...the cat and the dog are the only ones who know that I do this.

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Mark
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#36

Posted 11 October 2016 - 10:58 PM Edited by Mark, 11 October 2016 - 10:58 PM.

Eh, I usually watch crap on telly or clean/laundry/whatever. Then again it's only me and the other half and I tend to work nights. Most of my time outside work is spent alone at home.
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Joemoetoe
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#37

Posted 12 October 2016 - 04:44 AM

Masturbate, dancE, sing, host cum&go sessions

Scratch My Balls
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#38

Posted 12 October 2016 - 04:52 AM

When I'm home alone I put on an 80's movie and take nap.


You absolute madman.
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DangerZ0neX
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#39

Posted 12 October 2016 - 05:22 AM

When I'm home alone I put on an 80's movie and take nap.

You absolute madman.
r/madlads
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PhillBellic
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#40

Posted 12 October 2016 - 06:31 AM

Consult Professor Hans Jerkoff.


Professor SmackaDabbah
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#41

Posted 12 October 2016 - 10:12 PM

Walk around in the nude, say stuff and laugh and sing out loud, consult Ms Palmer, leave my bedroom door open and play music or watch YouTube out loud, run up and down my house making laser and explosion noises
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#42

Posted 13 October 2016 - 05:55 AM

Usually just play video games for hours and hours and bathe in my own filth. I stand in front of the refrigerator eating whatever I can easily eat without cooking.

Poop with the door open.
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MeisterJazz
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#43

Posted 13 October 2016 - 07:47 AM

I jerk off hard as f*ck with the volume all the way up. Then I clean myself up and eat while feeling shameful...

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ClaudeSpeed1911
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#44

Posted 13 October 2016 - 06:30 PM

-Talk to myself to the point that I actually start engaging in debates.

I do this too.

 

-I pretend I am Kenshiro or Jotaro's Star Platinum while hitting something as fast as I can.

 

Guess I don't do much other than play video games/watch.

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DangerZ0neX
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#45

Posted 13 October 2016 - 07:50 PM

-I pretend I am Kenshiro or Jotaro's Star Platinum while hitting something as fast as I can.


Spoiler
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ClaudeSpeed1911
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#46

Posted 13 October 2016 - 08:29 PM

 

-I pretend I am Kenshiro or Jotaro's Star Platinum while hitting something as fast as I can.


Spoiler

 

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Taylor
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#47

Posted 14 October 2016 - 10:41 AM

Some of these are gold, anyways on topic: I usually just scream louder than usual when i get pissed off at something.
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unbid
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#48

Posted 15 October 2016 - 10:50 AM Edited by Bondi Blu, 15 October 2016 - 01:07 PM.

Do a solo karaoke or get naked and masturbate.

B Dawg
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#49

Posted 15 October 2016 - 10:56 AM

Usually just do what I always do, play video games, but on some occasions, sing along to some Heavy Metal, or hook up my laptop to my TV and watch some of my favorite pornos.


Osho
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#50

Posted 15 October 2016 - 11:55 AM

Nothing interesting. Sleep, enjoy gaming and study a lot ( actuary; peaceful environment is an absolute must ).
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Gtaman_92
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#51

Posted 15 October 2016 - 07:58 PM Edited by Gtaman_92, 15 October 2016 - 07:58 PM.

Have porn playing on full blast.


LeakyLine
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#52

Posted 16 October 2016 - 03:54 AM

Pretend to be a girl on a gaming forum.

Badly.


Femme Fatale
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#53

Posted 16 October 2016 - 04:09 AM

Pretend to be a girl on a gaming forum.

Badly.
It's a 50-50 with me, she knows how to tell which dude is top or bottom, and I think she's into Gay porn...Unless it's a really good pretender *shrugs*...

OT: Another thing I like to do is take advantage of the chance to take selfies, I'm kinda shy to do it when people are watching...
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Shyabang Shyabang
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#54

Posted 16 October 2016 - 06:41 AM Edited by Shyabang Shyabang, 16 October 2016 - 06:44 AM.

I listen to this quite loudly sometimes:

 

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#55

Posted 19 October 2016 - 01:36 AM

I pack up all my stuff and leave without paying rent
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Dexolux
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#56

Posted 14 December 2016 - 10:07 PM

Masturbate in my room with the door open.

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#57

Posted 15 December 2016 - 03:35 AM

Masturbate in my room with the door open.

 

strong first post, welcome

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Scaglietti
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#58

Posted 15 December 2016 - 04:15 AM

Actually relax for once. I hate noise, it drives me crazy and my folks are pretty noisy from talking loud to slamming/clanging sh*t and it's annoying. I can barely focus.


Dingleman
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#59

Posted 15 December 2016 - 04:45 AM

VR porn, and then take off my Oculus to see my cat at the door staring at me and wonder how long it's been there.

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Tony42898
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#60

Posted 15 December 2016 - 09:33 AM

Aside from masturbation, I usually do the following:

 

  • Take my mom's Bluetooth JBL speaker and blast mah music (my own speaker broke recently)
  • When playing online games with friends and talking via mic, I don't have to talk at a low volume and scream and yell on occasional moments.
  • Sing along with mah jams.
  • Become head chef in my kitchen (my parents disallow me to cook while they're home).

 

When I used to have a girlfriend, I would so, so much try to convince her to visit me to hang out or have some breakfast, lunch or dinner. Wasn't trying to make a sexeee or anything. Despite my efforts and her desire for it, it would set my parent's, her dad, as well as my snitching neighbor's fuses off. 

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