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Funny Pedestrian Quotes

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ViceBoy69
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    Mark Chump

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#1

Posted 04 August 2016 - 11:35 PM

Not sure who says this  " f*ck me Running"

 

White Prostitute " get away from me dirty asshole" "I hate men like you" " let me out you limp dicked maggot", all usually said when you pick her up and get a wanted level, the Black Prostitute usually says " Ill do anything just let me out "  " Let me out out out OUT"

Black beggar " Is that you mummy"

One eyed Beggar " Damn that's one big pipe cleaner"  in response to seeing you with a rocket launcher, he usually runs away at this point

Taxi driver " I gave up smoking for this"

 


CreepShow
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#2

Posted 05 August 2016 - 01:58 AM

CHEESY VAGINAS!

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Payne Killer
  • Payne Killer

    FIND COVER OR WE'LL LOOK LIKE SWISS CHEESE

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#3

Posted 05 August 2016 - 02:07 AM

Aliens is among us!
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Donatello
  • Donatello

    Anyone for stickball? I've got a stick. You be the ball.

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#4

Posted 05 August 2016 - 02:22 AM

You stupid malaka!

PhillBellic
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#5

Posted 05 August 2016 - 06:44 AM

"Fu*k Me In The Ass!"

 

Oops, wrong Game. :D

 

"Psst. Reptilians is taking over, pass it on".


Gunnalingus
  • Gunnalingus

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#6

Posted 05 August 2016 - 06:11 PM

I like to cruise around Hove Beach and Little Italy, because the Russian mob, and Italian mob have the best dialogues-

 

Russian Mob

 

"Amir used to land helicopters in pools, crazy guy."

"f*ck me! I need a drink!"

"Do 10 lines of meth and 10 shots of vodka, you'll go to heaven."

"I get a license to carry an assault rifle, but I got to come outside to smoke."

"I put a hand in his mouth and pull out his eyeballs from behind."

"I just see red, and then things happen."

"Always they push me too far, they know what to expect."

 

Italian Mob

 

"So after I killed my parents, I killed my brother. My sister - she's a nice kid."

"Have you seen those new cars? Maron! The bodies we can stuff in the trunk!"

"That prick owes me five large. I'm gonna clip him unless he pays."

"I think it's about time we had a sitdown with that rat bastard."

"These TV shows depict Italians in such a demeaning manner."

"Did you see the tits on that dancer in the club last night? f*cking hot!"

"When you shoot them in the kneecaps, they might pass out from the pain. That's why I always go for the gut shot."

 

In Little Bay, where Albanian mob hangs out, one of them sometimes says:

"I wish this Serb  would come around here so I can f*ck him up."

 

AOD

"Hey tell Jimmy his old lady is at my place, naked, drunk, and upside f*cking down!"

"She went up, she went down, she went zig-zag!"

"You ever go down on one of these women? Ughhh!"

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Lunar_Twisted
  • Lunar_Twisted

    Crackhead

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#7

Posted 06 August 2016 - 12:12 AM

"You can look but don't touch."

             - Random female pedestrian


CreepShow
  • CreepShow

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#8

Posted 06 August 2016 - 03:52 AM

Too many gorrilas

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Payne Killer
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#9

Posted 06 August 2016 - 04:23 AM

They dun killed anotha truth seeka!
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The Deadite
  • The Deadite

    THEN I SWALLOD THE EVRYTING

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#10

Posted 06 August 2016 - 04:53 AM Edited by Midnight Hitman, 06 August 2016 - 04:54 AM.

I always lol at the squeaky voice female ped that when you bump into her says "I hate men!"

The disrespectful Burguer Shot clerks are funny too:

"Hello motherf*cker!"

"Bon apetit...motherf*cker!"
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Payne Killer
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#11

Posted 06 August 2016 - 04:56 AM

I always lol at the squeaky voice female ped that when you bump into her says "I hate men!"

Lol. Its funny when you bump into a female ped she says "That man just grabbed my bottom!"
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Mister Leone
  • Mister Leone

    You'd just come after her

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#12

Posted 06 August 2016 - 05:04 AM

I'm a writer on the streets and a freak in the sheets.
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CreepShow
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#13

Posted 06 August 2016 - 05:22 AM

These deadbeats are a pain in the ass

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Cluckin' Bell
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#14

Posted 06 August 2016 - 05:42 AM

I was f*cking around with some Angels of Death bikers and received the following lines from them...

 

"I'll crunch you up and snort you!"

"I'll dance on your f*cking head, bitch!"

"Hey, chicken feet!"

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PhillBellic
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#15

Posted 06 August 2016 - 06:51 AM

I always lol at the squeaky voice female ped that when you bump into her says "I hate men!"

The disrespectful Burger Shot clerks are funny too:

"Hello motherf*cker!"

"Bon apetit...motherf*cker!"

"Here's the nasty Garbage you ordered."

 

"I wouldn't eat it, but here you go."


EarthGaia
  • EarthGaia

    Nishinoya

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#16

Posted 06 August 2016 - 07:01 AM

"Listen, I'm just heading to the Cluckin' Bell and now I gotta get to the bathroom" - Black fat cop driving

"Ah! Oh! My nipple ring!" - When you push a young gay guy

"I just sh*t tofu!" - Intimidating a bald hipster

"I don't have any bananas" - When you push a homeless guy

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CreepShow
  • CreepShow

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#17

Posted 06 August 2016 - 07:26 AM

'Are you f*cking jerking off in there' Traffic jams

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VSVP
  • VSVP

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#18

Posted 06 August 2016 - 09:35 AM

"you really hit the dick on the head"

"this whiteboy look a lil lost"

the street vendors say some funny sh*t too

dakkajet
  • dakkajet

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#19

Posted 06 August 2016 - 07:47 PM

Street Vendor: "It was fresh yesterday"

Payne Killer
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#20

Posted 06 August 2016 - 08:00 PM

D motherf*cker, D, D as in Drive! - Female ped stuck in traffic
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Cluckin' Bell
  • Cluckin' Bell

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#21

Posted 06 August 2016 - 08:20 PM

"It's like The Walking Dead here." - Fat officer stuck in traffic


187BURNZY
  • 187BURNZY

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#22

Posted 08 August 2016 - 01:54 AM Edited by 187BURNZY, 08 August 2016 - 01:55 AM.

Mommy, is that you inside that man

 

 

Welcome to Burger shot mudaf*ckaaaaaa


Jeansowaty
  • Jeansowaty

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#23

Posted 09 August 2016 - 04:27 PM

GTA4 has the best quotes I heard in a Video Game ever. I just love messing with the peds in this game, haha.

 

=Russians=

 

You've ruined my sex life, for the last time!
After I smash you, I'll get laid!

Cover me, you useless schmucks!

I will squaash you like a bug!

Eh, smotri kuda presh!

Excuuuuuse me!

 

=Homeless=

I will eat you alive, toerag!

Yeah? I'm a peace-neck!

Well, f*ck all, squared!

That ass of yours is too big!

You'll be nice and cool soon!

Robot-man, juice.

Well, Cleveland, dog ballon.

I don't have any bananas!

Too many gorillas!

How could she do it, my best friend.

You're a slippery one, aren't ya?

 

=Slim LCPD Officers/State Troopers=

Hey, what's going on back there, you playing with Mr. Spanky?

Guess who's gonna get shot in the face!

Okay, so lemme repeat your message: blah blah blah bleueluelubruerluerghhhh.

One squeeze and you're wearing your balls for earrings!

I'm that badass tigere your mom told you about!

I'm not f*cking kidding, asshole!

And out, comes Rosco.

 

=Fat LCPD Officers=

I'll shoot your tits off.

Okay, you asked for it.

Freeze, I'm gonna shoot your ass!

Tell my wife I love her, OK?

Hey buddy, get this crap moving, will ya?

Oof, I smell the stink of guilt.

I'm gonna sh*t in your mouth!

One false move son, you get dropped!

Ohhhh yeeee, you're mine now!

You're surrounded now, drop it, punk!

 

=Triads=

Hahaha, we got him! We got him!

Here I am!

Long have I waited for this!

Hahaha, I'm going to get him!

I can take this scumbag now!

I can shoot the f*cker now!

I got this ashooooole!

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ATP2555
  • ATP2555

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#24

Posted 09 August 2016 - 09:05 PM

Random Guy:

  • It's your favorite neighborhood superstar!

 

Taxi Driver:

  • Sorry about the smile, I just laid some gas in here.

EarthGaia
  • EarthGaia

    Nishinoya

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#25

Posted 17 August 2016 - 07:30 PM

"So let me repeat your message, blah blah blah, skfjfjffgah" - Police officer speaking on his walkie talkie
"Are you f*cking jerking off in there" - Spanish Lords member stuck on the traffic
"Come on, I mean...this is NOT a carpark!" - Drama queen stuck on the traffic
"Your bitch mom teached you manners?" - When you push an old executive lady
"Jack Howitzer's ballsack!" - When s showbiz addicted guy flees (it happens when the player drives fast or shows a powerful gang)
"Jeez! Take out that buttplug" - Standing in front of a gay guy
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finewayne
  • finewayne

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#26

Posted 18 August 2016 - 04:54 AM

walking dead reference got me :)

 

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Kingzy
  • Kingzy

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#27

Posted 18 August 2016 - 02:06 PM

Welcome to Burger Shot Muuuuf*ckkkkaaaaaa


thehambone
  • thehambone

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#28

Posted 18 August 2016 - 02:45 PM

Police Officer while searching for Niko: "You fingerbanging your cornhole?"
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ZDogN7
  • ZDogN7

    I f*cking love steak

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#29

Posted 19 August 2016 - 09:19 AM

"I'm a f*cker not a fighter."
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Uncle Vlad
  • Uncle Vlad

    annoying dick

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#30

Posted 20 August 2016 - 11:07 AM

Even after 8 years playing I still hear new pedestrian quotes, it´s great. Few days ago I fired a gun in Algonquin, the peds started to run and one of them screamed: "This is Liberty, not f*cking Carcer!"





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