There are regional differences too. In the US, "c*nt" and the asshole variant of "bitch" are almost exclusively used for females (unlike in other English-speaking nations where men are c*nts too). "Fag", "douche", "asshole", "prick", "pussy", and "dick" are almost exclusively used for males. Of course you can make these insults gender neutral. But it's a little strange at first. I've started calling women douches/dicks/assholes/etc. and men c*nts just to be politically correct in certain informal circles tbh.
fa**ot is not categorically a slur. On a forum with ads and so forth, it's completely reasonable to crowd out the term. We are all people of our time, and for males born circa 1985-2000, the use of "fa**ot" was brought about long before we even knew of it's other meaning. With age, as we became more mindful and/or subservient with our language, the alternative use of "fa**ot" as a slur became the more resonant meaning and people stopped using it just to be cautious. The slur is more resonant because the banter/insult form of fa**ot has so many alternatives (jackass for instance). So people figure that anyone who insists on using fa**ot specifically is trying to convey some sort of discriminatory undertone. Now does it have discriminatory historical origins? Certainly. If I remember correctly, "gaywad", "gaylord", and "gay" were interchangeable insults in the same innocent context as "fa**ot" back in grade school. In fact, gay typically preceded the use of the word fa**ot in American school yard banter (i.e. "Digimon is gay bruh" - circa 1999 grade school banter).
For what it's worth, "fa**ot" is now going out of style because is carries a lot of political baggage for a being an insult without much teeth. Can't say I'll miss it either. On the flip side, any US male who claims to have never used the word is either virtue signalling, full of sh*t, or was just a brown-nosing goody two shoes as a kid. When we were coming up, even my gay niggas said fag. Instead of unpacking the word in context to determine if its intent is discriminatory, it's easier to just shame and demonize its use nowadays.