Writer's Note: So i've been writing on and off for a while, mostly songs. Most of you, well everyone who hangs in these parts don't even know me, but many of you are great writers so this Short Story has nothing to do with GTA i wrote it a little bit ago for my college magazine (of all things, you start somewhere i guess) to be honest i don't have much experience with stories. So i really would like some points on what i can improve, whats wrong with it, what did you like. So further down the road i could write better.
The Darkness Within
The thunder roared outside, the streets were knee deep in cold, dark, muddy water. It had been raining for hours to no end. The house had this otherworldy look to it, for only the spirits knew what had gone on inside. The door was left ajar with the wind blowing in the background, you could feel it, the cold breeze that would send a shiver down your spine. Something was off. Everything was off.
Rayyan woke up covered in sweat and panic, it was surreal, as he grasped the confines of reality he saw down on the floor bits and pieces of his alarm clock, he must have thrown it down while he was asleep. As he looked towards the wall clock he sighed, he was late, as he stumbled off his bed and to the bathroom door he thought he heard her speak, he looked around and saw nothing but darkness and the sound of the rain hitting against his room window, he shrugged of the thought and went into the bathroom. Looking into the bathroom mirror he went into an abyss of different thoughts, he had no will, no reason, for him all this was just a routine, a circle he was bound by, he couldn't break the flow yet he ignored where it would take him.
Rayyan walked down the road, wearing a scruffy dark shirt, a pair of old jeans and a black leather jacket, he was soaked in water, drops dripped down his hair, he didn't care he just kept walking. As he turned the corner he saw in the distance the old house, it sent a chill down his spine the instant it came into view, memories rushed his mind, as he froze there staring at the home. Clearing the water from his eyes he was baffled to see Anna standing infront of it, fidgeting with her purse while trying to keep it clear off the rain. Anna was his bestfriend they'd been friends since they were kids, went to school together and now they were in college both had decided to do BS Psychology. They were inseperable always had each others backs people would often mistake them to be siblings, they fought yet he was the big brother to her when anyone would look wrong at her and she was the sister who'd he annoy the living hell out of.
Anna still fidgeting with her purse had not seen him yet, Rayyan ran to catch up to her and slipped trying to gain balance grabbed onto a pole and planted one foot onto the ground with as much force as he could muster up, sighing in relief he was glad that he didn't fall face down onto the wet road. As he fixed himself up he looked up towards the house and saw no one standing there. He let out a grunt thinking what a fool he is, and carried on walking he was sure he'd be able to catch up to her later in the day. He walked up to the house and felt a strange presence. He didn't take much note of it, he'd been down all day and he knew Anna would cheer him up, she always did.
He kept walking, still staring into that abyss of thoughts, he suddenly froze, remembering something he had been trying to forget he cleared the tear from his eye and kept on, as more and more thoughts came he was breaking, every step slower and slower, his mind becoming a total mess, he shrugged at the thoughts as the rain did well to mask the tears and pain. He stood there for what felt like eternity, he had no resounded reason to even continue, he was an emotional mess, but he was afraid and who could he ask for help? To him there was no help, non that would matter, his society would deem him crazy, it wasn't his fault yet society made him feel like it's his own doing. Social culture had marked him an outcast already but only he knew so he kept on, kept on this facade for him to not be labeled a black sheep he had to "fit in".
The sound of thunder woke him from his trance, as he looked around, the streets were empty, who in their right mind would even go outside in such a stormy weather. Well he wasn't in his right of mind, now was he! He walked into the college and a few students were around, just under the rafters talking, he was drowning in rain water. As he walked in to the building he saw a group of students from his class, trying to avoid them he dashed into an open room. He saw Anna standing there on the other exit, as he was about to say her name, someone grabbed his shoulder and said "Where you off to?" as he turned around and saw it was one of his friends, he said, "no where, just got here" his friend replied, "So that's why you were running off? did you walk here? you're soaked." Rayyan got annoyed and replied with a sigh, "Yes, i walked here, have you seen Anna?" looking back she was no where to be seen, his friend said "No, But.." Rayyan cut him off and walked away trying to see if he could catch up to her, just when he saw the time, he was late for class. Dissapointed he walked off hoping he'd catch up to her later.
"According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), an estimated 20 percent of people who have major depression also have psychotic symptoms. This combination is known as depressive psychosis. Some .." Said the professor, as Rayyan hardly paid any attention looking around the class. The class was fairly empty with 8 students in it, leave it to the rain to halter educational progress he though. As the professor continued, ".. This condition causes you to experience psychotic symptoms plus the sadness and hopelessness associated with depression. This means seeing things that aren't real ..". He ventured out into his own world, he felt like he was being dragged down by something or someone, yet he couldn't figure out who or what? He was lost, he needed answers and he only had one person to ask the questions, Anna.
Class had ended, Rayyan steped out into the corridoor, the rain had let up, the heavens decided to show mercy, if any longer the city wouldv'e been the next Venice. He walked off into the courtyard to go to the old science block which was being renovated, no one ventured there so it was his hideout, a place where he can be alone. As he was sitting just staring at a wall deep in thought he heard her say his name, he looked to the side and saw Anna looking down towards him, her clothes were dry as leaves in Autumn. She said "Why the sad face?" Rayyan replied, "Nothing just you know .. where have you been all day?" Anna gave a smirk and said, "Around," With puzzling eyes he asked "What you mean?" Just then he heard a sound come from the other side, a worker had opened one of the old classrooms, Rayyan looked back and she was gone, puzzled and more confused than ever before he got up cursing under his breathe she did this allot, would disappear off.
The rest of the day went rather unimaginative, he was deep in thought when the sound of thunder startled him, as he looked towards the sky he could see the dark, gloomy clouds reanimate, he let out a hand and felt a few drops fall on his hand. He figured it would be best to leave before the weather gets any worse. On his way back the rain had reached a fever pitch, people were running for shelter Rayyan without a care in the world just kept walking, on many instances he thought that he heard her call out his name as he'd stop and look around he shrugged it off as just his mind playing games. He got near the old house, drenched and cold to the bone he saw a girl enter it, a girl who looked like Anna.
Standing on the corner of the house he figured Anna must have wondered in there looking for shelter from the rain, so he decided to follow suit. Closing the door behind him he felt a strange presence in the house, the house was relatively empty with the odd furniture and old pictures scattered around. The dimly lit hall had a picture on it which was half visible of a little girl, her mother and father. Rayyan looked up and saw Anna standing there looking towards him, she turned and walked into a room. Puzzled he cried out her name, "Anna?" and started to climb the stairs. Each step up the stairs was a step deeper into his mind, as the clouded fog started to fade, step by step he began to lose control, anxious and a sense of fear had overcome him, he had reached the top and staggered into the room, Anna was nowhere in sight.
He looked around and saw an old bed, a side table, some clothes laid scattered all over, it was all to familiar, he had been here before, but could not put it together. Looking towards the right there was a picture taped to the wall among some old posters, in the picture there was a boy and a girl, then and there it hit him, a feeling of dread and denial overcame him, he knew where he was, the fog had cleared, as the memories became clear he collapsed to his knees as a tear escaped his eye, he was in her room, in Anna's room.
I walked in from the door, Rayyan was sitting on the floor leaning against the wall with the picture of us in his hand, he hadn't noticed me yet. It was surreal, it had not been very long since i had been last in this room yet it felt like ages, but it was so different, it felt so otherwordly, in broken words i heard him say, "Who are you?" i looked towards him, he was looking towards me, shaken and disjointed. I replied, "Anna." with a faint sigh and in a barely audible voice he said, "You're not. You can't be. How can you be here?" I walked up close to him and said, "I am, I can be and i'm here because you want me to be."
Looking at me with questioning eyes he asked, "What do you mean?" i asked back, "you tell me? why am i here." he looked down towards the picture and asked, "Why?" I wish i could've given him an answer, told him why i did it, why i left him, my family. But I myself didn't know, i was her but i did not have the answers, Anna had the answers but she was gone and i was a reflection of her in his mind and for that reason i didn't know. I looked into his eyes, and asked him, "Do you know?" "No." he said back, I replied, "Then how do you expect me to know." I got up and walked to the other side of the room, for a while there was a painful silence then i heard him say, "It's not worth it." I asked back, "What is?" He sighed and stated, "Life. living, you're gone, what difference would it make?" I looked back shocked by his thought of even such a thing, i said, "What are you going on about? Just because i'm dead doesn't mean you die.."
as my voice trailed off, he replied, "It does, you don't get it." I looked towards his hand in which he was grasping his pocket knife, terrified i screamed at him, "put that away." staring at me he said, "It's the only way. The only way to make the pain go away." and just then cut his wrist with the pocket knife.
I looked in horror as blood gushed out, wanting to help him i was helpless, i was bound by a force, i was nothing more than a reflection of his mind. I looked on as his life faded away i just sat there infront of him, with nothing more that i could do. As he breathed his final breathe and collapsed i could not help but wonder, what if? what if someone had caught on, what if his depression was not deemed a phase? what if we had not deemed people with depression as outcasts, what if we had not just told them to cheer up but instead had done more, what if something different had been done and Rayyan and I were still alive today?