Posted 20 December 2015 - 12:11 PM
Edited by The Odyssey, 31 August 2017 - 03:23 PM.
NOTE: This is a Work In Progress.
Whats up people, after a long break from DYOM I've decided to return. With many mission packs left in the dust, I figured out the problem - I improvise my stories a lot. This time, I've written up a whole script fitted with fleshed out characters and a consistent story, and hope the planning pays off.
So far, I've made two missions and will continue to work on completing the missions throughout my holiday break. I hope you all enjoy it.
Peace out people.
Leon Edison is part of a criminal crew, pulling off a series of audacious heists across Las Venturas. The crew was once an unknown name, robbing gas stations and banks but soon developed and went on to perform heists across the various casinos of Las Venturas, giving them a name for themselves across the Venturas criminal underworld. With this status they've earned, the crew have soon come to learn that one minor screw-up can lead to having many enemies. Now Leon must cope with keeping friends and family out of danger, while putting his enemies in danger. It's the survival of one thief truced with a small amount of allies, against an army of killers set outo to eliminate Leon Edison.
The protagonist and playable character of the mission series. Leon is a sensible character who has made a name for himself by his ability get the job done quickly and with ease. A man who knows right from wrong, Leon is the co-founder of the crew he is in that performs heists.
Affiliation: Marcus' crew.
The founder of the crew, Marcus is the most trusted, sympathetic and friendly of the crew. Although he doesn't take part in performing the heists, he is the brains behinds the heist and sets up plans to get in, grab the score and getaway.
Affiliation: Marcus' crew.
Simon is a ruthless killer that finds humor in grim situations and seems to lack sympathy for even the most unfortunate people, due to his addiction to drugs and alcohol.
Affiliation: Marcus' crew,
Phillip is disliked by others due to his selfishness and egotistical nature. He knows how to use a gun well but is often paranoid and dim witted. He is the reason why Lester Drake found out about their crew.
Affiliation: Marcus' crew
Refereed to as Drake, he controls Marcus' crew as he holds power over them with his goons, demanding them to give him half the cut from their heists. He is an annoyance and in control but weak when under watch by people who can hold power over him. He also owns a car dealership, where his goons help him out.
Affiliation: Drake's gang.
Referred to as Martinez, he is the leader of the 8 Wolfs gang, the most powerful gang in Las Venturas. He is smart, knows how to run a gang and can easily manipulate people. Not afraid to hurt anyone.
Affiliation: 8 Wolfs
Arthur Black is the richest man in Las Venturas and owns many properties, namely Caligulas Casino. He is very attached to this casino and is willing to pay the price in order to prevent anyone from attacking it.
Drakes most trusted man and associate. He is a Russian man who doesn't speak English very well but is extremely smart and wants to protect his family. He commonly refers to people as "my friend"
Affiliation: Drakes gang
The leader of a currently unnamed gang which is comprised of the best assassins from across the United States. He holds very great power due to the fact that he can command a gang of assassins to take out a large number of people. He is on the FBI's most wanted list.
Affiliation: Currently unnamed gang
A technician that is a part of Marcus' crew. He uses his technological skills to help out in heists, such as clearing police records and hacking into databases.
Affiliation: Marcus' crew
I will release the first two missions for you guys. I'll continue to make and release missions as often as I can.
Posted 30 December 2015 - 12:24 PM
Edited by The Odyssey, 30 December 2015 - 12:24 PM.
Whats up people.
Latest mission came out late because I was having trouble with uploading the mission for a while. (and of course the DYOM wesbite was down for a while) but now its up. Unfortunately I couldn't get the mission to upload on DYOM wesbite so I used mediafire. Hope thats okay.
Remember to leave some feedback or general comments
I liked it, good grammar, good choice of objects and animations, very well executed cutscenes and interesting missions. The only downside is that it was more of a movie than a mission pack, since it has too little gameplay for me to enjoy.
I'll give it a strong 9/10. Lacked gameplay for me to be the ideal mission pack, but this comes close!
Posted 06 January 2016 - 04:38 PM
Edited by AnDReJ98, 06 January 2016 - 04:39 PM.
Played. It feels more like a movie, being able to see everything from more point of views in cutscenes is unique, though..(too much Jimmy's style here). For a beginning it's awesome, especially the story, well it's like there is no gameplay at all compared to cutscenes, but i'm sure you will fill it up with gameplay in the next missions right? And maybe, it feels kinda rushed? Robbing few places in a very short time is a lot, i know they are basically forced to do it but still, there could be something more to add, maybe more character development? Never mind, it's good as it is now with characters. Well, i'll see the real potential of this mission pack in the next missions as story progress more. For now, it's like Jimmy's stuff mixed with GTA V style? Be sure to develop your own style, that would be more unique and better looking.
Well, that's it for now. This is something 'rare' compared to today's MPs, haven't seen a heist theme in a while. Good luck! 9/10
Posted 06 January 2016 - 05:34 PM
Edited by The Odyssey, 06 January 2016 - 05:35 PM.
Unfortunately I have to admit myself some missions felt rushed. It's because in my script I wrote some long cutscenes and I didn't realise that the objective count would be too high when designing the missions, so I had to cut some dialogue out to save space for the remaining parts of the mission I had written.
However, this is only the case with the first chapter. It's only in the second chapter I started realising that the script for each mission was getting a little too long, so I spread out the key dialogue and plot point scenes into multiple missions instead of just one or two and made sure I had a counter for each line of objective I had written.
In the case of my own style, I try not to make my cutscenes seem too much like Jimmy's, but I feel as if dialogue and cutscenes feels much better to read and enjoy when character names and sound effects are in brackets. But yeah, when I started work on my latest mission I decided I'd discontinue doing the whole "2 hours after so and so arrived in that place" and "to be continued" becuase maybe that's a bit too similar to Jimmy. However because of this I plan to make the shootout missions a bit more dynamic than regular shootouts and develop my own style, and try to make the non-shootout missions unique.
Basically, thanks for the comments. I'm in no way trying to argue against you, just discussing some criticisms I expected to have with the missions - your positive feedback is much appreciated.
Posted 07 January 2016 - 03:59 PM
Edited by The Odyssey, 07 January 2016 - 05:17 PM.
Since Mediafire works better than the DYOM website right now for uploading, I'll post the descriptions for each mission I release every time I announce a new mission in this topic. (Mediafire doesn't allow for descriptions)
By the way, a new missions been released.
Mission summary: Through Viktor, one of Drakes goons who is willing to be an informer for Marcus' crew, the crew learns of Drake's relationship with the 8 Wolfs. Because of this, they realize they must give Drake the rest of the score they earned from the Redsands West heist, or Drake will kill them. But they aren't settling for that. They decide to plan a heist for another casino and give Drake part of that score to him instead; and some for themselves as well.
I forgot to mention it in the mission but It's actually suppose to be a stealth mission. Being sneaky while following the truck makes the mission a hell of a lot easier once you learn a good pattern because all the guards have headshots set to on and you have the silencer/knife.
Anyway, thanks for the rating. Really appreciate it.
Posted 21 June 2017 - 09:13 AM
Edited by The Odyssey, 21 June 2017 - 09:14 AM.
Thought that this was cancelled? Well you thought wrong. After a long hiatus, the last 2 missions of chapter 1 have been uploaded. I'll make sure to upload more frequently now that I have some spare time:
Posted 21 June 2017 - 04:20 PM
Edited by SatournFan, 22 June 2017 - 07:19 AM.
finished it just now, and I gotta say, this has to stop
I know this is going to sound harsh, but how many times are we going to see Jimmy_Leppard rip-offs before people will finally understand that there's no need for them? throughout my play I've felt multiple times that this is yet another poor man's 'Platinum Circle' or 'Brian Thompson's Heist'. but why do that, when these projects have been released a long time ago, and they're good at everything they're trying to achieve?
anyway, on to the actual review
the plot is unoriginal and really boring already, considering this is heavily inspired by Jimmy_Leppard's work which makes it even worse. Jimmy himself has overdone the same techniques to the point that his latest projects try to steer clear of them (failing at that, but at least attempts were made)
the characters are laughable caricatures who are purposefully made to look as dumb as they can be. not a single person is nicely developed, and I couldn't attach myself to neither of them because, again, these types of characters have been done to death by a certain someone who has been mentioned by me already
the gameplay is okay for the most part. it's definitely not good, with tedious shootouts making up about 90% of gameplay, where enemies pack some serious heat and can overpower the player in seconds. I especially despised those two missions where the player has to fight against a horde of enemies: first, ambush at Drake's dealership, where all of the enemies have a ton of health, have their headshots off, and you're equipped with a pistol; and second, Drake's ambush at the end of the chapter, where not only do you have to have fast reactions, or your allies will be slaughtered as soon as you spawn, but you're once again equipped with a measly pistol, while enemies pack a variety of handguns, including a f*cking combat shotgun. I did like the mission where you cause havoc at the Starfish casino, but then again, that was probably the only mission I truly liked
one minor thing I've noticed was a plethora of small mistakes in subtitles, but that didn't really distract me from the missions
now, what's good about this project?
well... the cutscenes are nice, I suppose
object placement was ok
dialogue was ok
what I want to ask is, why are you trying so hard to recreate Jimmy's work? I understand that he's a huge inspiration for users of this subforum, and throughout his 'designing career' has always been an influential part of the community, but why would you want to become a copycat? why not something actually original? you're digging your own grave by doing this, and I sincerely hope you can improve by dumping the Jimmy look into the bin and making the missions more unique. if you don't however, I'm afraid you'll never be a good designer in my eyes (of course if it means something to you, which it probably doesn't)
so, as of now, this is a 1,5/5
P.S. oh yeah, the last mission also crashed for me after I've destroyed Drake's helicopter
Posted 22 June 2017 - 06:12 AM
Edited by The Odyssey, 22 June 2017 - 11:14 AM.
look man, im probably the biggest fan of constructive criticism but I think there's a point when you gotta realise something has become a full on roast session.
I don't think your main argument that I've been ripping off Jimmy holds much water. Is the series inspired by Jimmy's work? Sure. Is it written and formatted in a similar style? Maybe. But the reason why I do these things is not because I want to copy Jimmy's work, but that It's just that its my preferred style of mission designing.
Even with that, what similarities are there in terms of mission design, besides characters names being in brackets and I guess having a "to be continued" notice at the end?
As for the story I think It's original. There aren't any plot points that have already been done by Jimmy. Like I said some of my ideas for plot points may have been inspired by his stories, but they aren't full fletched rip offs.
As for characters - well, I know for a fact that the characters came 100% from my own imagination. Nothing was inspired by Jimmy in that regard. If It's reminiscent if his characters, then I guess its just coincidence.
I guess your criticism about repetitive gameplay is understandable. I was trying to develop a unique style for the shootout scenes, giving enemies high accuracy but also laying out health packs throughout the map so that you can progress your way throughout the shootout area while being able to replenish your health. But this didn't work out as well as I hoped as it turned out for some missions a lot of the enemies just corner the player and you usually have to pick off the enemies in a corner.
so yeah, im not really gonna take much of that into consideration. If others also find that its too much like Jimmy's then I might consider changing up the formatting. But in terms of story, my script will remain the same. Chapter 2 definitely has some original twist and turns so if you end up playing it I hope you'll end up finding it more original. Then again It's your opinion. If you find it more of a rip off than an influence, then I can't change that.
you kill drake in the end, if you were wondering. if the mission crashes for others as well then I'd probably consider cutting down on the objectives
Posted 31 August 2017 - 03:21 PM
Edited by The Odyssey, 31 August 2017 - 03:40 PM.
Two new missions released, but for some reason I can't access missions anymore? So I'm not sure if it will work for you guys. I've gone into more detail in Designers Lounge, but nevertheless here they are.