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Heist failure stories

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  • Dream-_-Traveler

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 08:34 PM

PS heist.
We rob the bank and get stuck in the alleyway. Heist member dies. My total kills is 30 along with everyone else give or take. After about 5 attempts gaining more kills in hoping my carrying would help but we still managed to fail.
I went from 30 to like 75 kills and they STILL couldnt manage...
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  • rebeldevil

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 09:07 PM

Going to pick up the Kuruma for the Fleeca job. Paired up with a random. I tell him "the place is crawling with enemies. There's no time pressure. Take your time and use cover and this will go just fine." The instant we hit the roof he ran straight for the car and got mowed down.
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  • botafogo4life

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Posted 14 May 2017 - 08:11 AM

Prison break... I'm the prisoner and random teammate is the guard/bus driver... It took us a bit longer to get to the bus than planned so we're already in a rush, so he cuts across the dirt, hits a small mound or rock that slightly launches us and spins us around a little, and we end up getting stuck on the highway guardrail(!)  The bus was perfectly perched on the guardrail along its longitudinal axis... Driver does the old back-and-forth thing but only the left side or right side wheels are touching at any given time, and neither side has any traction... We both get out, hoping the bus will 'correct' itself and it didn't so we both get back in hoping the old back-and-forth/side-to-side will eventually work. 


And completely without any warning whatsoever (since we weren't taking any damage) the bus engine catches fire, and even though I'm dying laughing by this time I'm alert enough to immediately get myself off the bus, or so I thought -- A split second after I step out of the door the whole bus blows, incinerating me and the driver who didn't even try getting out... The bus went from 'first signs of fire' to 'blown to kingdom come' in maybe 5-6 seconds...


Yeah, everyone wanted to quickstart again but I had to quit because I was CRYING from laughing so hard...

  • KWF1981

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Posted 14 May 2017 - 08:39 AM

This is a goldmine!!!

Only read a couple of pages but cannot believe I missed this thread, this'll entertain during todays runs...

  • jerryinohio78


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Posted 14 May 2017 - 03:39 PM

level 59 side gunner blows up the contacts car at the end causing it to fail.


  • Aslad

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Posted 14 May 2017 - 04:14 PM

Actually completing Deliver EMP with a bunch of randoms  :panic:

(How we managed that I will never know, took about 20 attempts..)


My funniest moment was on Pac Standard as you hide behind the doors before leaving. A teammate opened the doors so I pull out my homing launcher to take out a few cop cars... as I fire the door swings shut. Yeah, that didn't go well...


Most frustrating moment? When an idiot random decided to land the Buzzard on top of the Velum on Prison Break and knocks Rashkovsky into the propeller in the process...

Gipsy DanGer
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Posted 14 May 2017 - 04:42 PM

running criminal mastermind,


second time around for a friend,


was on series a first setup, 


we landed the heli on the heli pad, got the coke and i was in the heli waiting for the group to get in, then the friend that we was helping  shot down a cop heli witch landed on the heli killing me and other friend 

  • xDatxJunkyx


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Posted 14 May 2017 - 04:52 PM

I officially stand in favour of  bias against low levels. 


Playing with a lvl 30 on fleeca finale . . . the man drove all the way across the bridge, past the slope where you sneak into Zancudo. 


I tell him to back up, he backs up all the way into a ditch. Failing the mission. :/, all I could do is cover my mouth and murmur. 

Fluffy Sock
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Posted 15 May 2017 - 12:39 AM Edited by Perez84, 15 May 2017 - 12:40 AM.

Today was the first day I tried heists since this event started, due to hackers on PC blablabla. First I get into a Pac Standard finale, the host gives me 20%, nice. 


10-12 attempts of absolut clusterf*ck until I had enough. First attempt I forgot that non armored cars can explode easily when falling so I die, that was my bad, okay. Then a chain of randumb deaths on bikes, suicides when parachuting and that sh*t. Level 200 guy shooting cops and thus making our cars lose tires every time, etc. f*ck.


Then I tried a Vans setup with other randoms, that would be easy money (HA!). First attempt everything went smooth until the guy driving the van to Lester's place got stuck between a wall and a power post just a few meters away from the drop off, I swear it was the first time I witnessed that, never thought it was possible.  :blink:  :blink:


Gave them another (final) attempt. One of the drivers alerts a van driver.


RAGEQUIT and the odds for me to play more heists tomorrow are seriously lowered. :angry:

  • Hécate-II

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Posted 15 May 2017 - 06:45 AM

Joined randoms when my GTA "friends" were offline, I should definitely stay in my solo public lobby, but no, I was so tempted...


So joined, not a bad random team, Post-Van setup ok, Signal Setup ok, random land nicely the Police Maverick, no sh*t...then this random leaves, another joins...lvl 501, good!


Not good, mr. is a semi-AFK parasit, 15 f*cking min to reach the ambush point(Convoy setup). Snipe the Savage, kill ground guys, get the truck, lowest level drive the truck, and get rekt by NPC Savage...




Mr. Semi-AFK don't f*cking move, AFK forever this time. The Convoy can't be triggered. 


I get my Insurgent, I crush him at full speed as retaliation for being AFK.


Heist failed.

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  • SilverRST


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Posted 15 May 2017 - 01:48 PM

This Heist Fail is Gold :lol:

So me and friends joined Pac Final and my friend or me picked up all money so the money-dude could drive alone to the boat without much cash lost

and less cops for the money-dude. Me and my friend reached the boat with 100% cash and I was standing at near the boat so I could watch the landscape.

However, the guy parachuted to the boat and he GOT HIS FACE WACKED AT THE RUBBER SIDE OF THE BOAT and he died :lol:

I saw it all happened and it looked damn funny!


Another time of Pac Final. One dude was running fo the bikes and 3 of us cleaned to streets to get rid of cops.

So this player shot a RPG and at same bad (or right) moment, another player came in her sight and the RPG hit the teammate and she died.

I saw it happen too and she flew back away :lol:


Heisting is the best and funniest of all with all the craziness and failures.

  • abaka9


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Posted 15 May 2017 - 01:52 PM

I did fleeca with a random and I bought a BMX to get the Kurama.  He was a low rank and had no car so tried to get on my bike so I cycled off...Managed to get there, kill the bad guys before he got there and then set off whilst he got the kurama....I cycled back to the factory before he got there.

Rashkovskys Shiv
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Posted 17 May 2017 - 03:07 PM

I accept an invite to Pacific standard, get in the lobby,the leader is rank 179,the other is 90(they are friends)then the other guy is 120.
They have it set to Normal without player saved outfits so I'm thinking that these guys are heist noobs.
But I stay, we load into the room and the leader has on heavy heist vest!(facepalm)

Alright so they give me and the other guy %15 and split %70.
We start,I go to get chopper,they follow to watch me, one guy dies getting run over, other guy gets job blown.
I get chopper, we go to bank, I tell them have hacker get all the money and stay in the bank.
The demo and hacker both run in and get money, at this point I'm thinking no way this is going to work.

Again I tell them stay in the bank,We ready up, I run out to the alley, they both step out to chase me and both die in seconds.
I am almost to the bikes alone, another player died and they have lost over $300k.
I blow up bikes they respawn and the other guy kills himself walking into blades.
I have had it at this point
Yes they had mics and I also used texts.
Some people are just very slow.
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  • Niño-Livi


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Posted 18 May 2017 - 03:11 AM Edited by Niño-Livi, 18 May 2017 - 03:13 AM.


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  • GTAUrbanCamping

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 04:53 AM

Attempted key codes setup with randoms. The buyer/host thought it was okay to hold the RPG and wait for contact. After 3 fails, I msg him...he tried shooting me with it. In freeroam, He sped away and I managed to hit him a block away with the RPG. Ignorant people...

Mrs. Buzz
  • Mrs. Buzz

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 06:20 AM

Imagine this will work straightaway - that'll blow the actual WR out of the sky and looks very cool, too. Need to try/master that this evening myself.

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  • middevonclown


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Posted 18 May 2017 - 09:13 AM

Thought I'd do a quick Prison Break finale - as the man says, it's the easiest money you'll ever make, right?


Host puts level 150-odd as Pilot and me (lvl 141) as Demolition, leaving a level 38 and 60-odd as the ground team...


They manage to die before I can even get the bus halfway to the airfield. Three times.


Fourth attempt, I actually manage to get to the chopper and get airborne.  I can see that the pilot knows what he is doing, so leave him tailing the jets and head over to the prison to help the hapless ground crew out. Kill several guards from the air and escort the bus (which goes half a mile down Route 68 and in the far end of the airstrip!) to the hangar, picking off cop cars and helis for fun. 


We finally get the bus safely to the plane, and Mr 38 jumps out and walks straight into the propeller. Time for me to quit. 

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  • CmdNomad

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 09:39 AM

We did the Criminal Mastermind Challenge.

Everything went fine since we had hired a real expert to guide us through the heists.

We reached the last Stage of Humane Labs.

We drove to the chopper, i went into the pilot seat just in the same second our guide climbed for some reason unkown on the roof of the car.

Rotor of the Heli hit him, killed him and we had to start all over again...

Oh the joy of wasted hours. :panic:

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  • Tokasmoka

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 05:07 PM

Prison break with a noob group.  After one wipe we pulled it off, they were celebrating on the mic as we were parachuting.  I thought to myself 'I should probably remind them to stay away from the heli blades, nah they'll know.'  Nope, what a way to fail.  Anywho we all had a good laugh and completed it afterwards, third times a charm.

  • Shadowfennekin

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 08:51 AM

I forgot to tell this

I played a LOT of EMP setups during double money cause it's fun and roughly takes 5-10 minutes max depending on your crew

But one group was all high levels.... apart for a level 23


Level 23 gets lost inside the Carrier and the rest of us take off to deliver the Hydra. After the dog fight and we're literally flying into Blaine County.

"Level 23 committed suicide"

"Level 23 left"


I was actually going to sit that Heist through to the end if I had two level 200s with me. They looked like they did this before so I wouldn't sit through Deliver EMP for 30 minutes..... but NOPE. Asshat ended up causing me to not get invited back.

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  • Aussie_Hunter

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 10:25 AM

Thought I'd do a quick Prison Break finale - as the man says, it's the easiest money you'll ever make, right?


Lol......its the easiest way to complete and utter insanity.



I've come across competent low levels...had two in the PB finale I decided to join, against my better judgement, after personally avowing never to do it again (i hate myself lol) during the heists event. The host is on my friends list, a level 20 who I helped to do Fleeca and added him for no particular reason. I only joined after demanding I be Demo (I still suffer from the infinite stars glitch) and thinking disaster would strike in the prison i provide cover for the other two who actually turn out to be decent and breeze through the prison (level 30 and 55). The host however ended up been the issue.


Don't ask me how but he died on the way to the plane....or had done so after taking off, the latter more likely considering his confessions he did not know how to fly properly. I gave him plenty of instructions on how to fly and deal with the Lazers so of we go again. The second time all is actually going swimmingly and Rashkovky is safely aboard. The Pilot though seems to have difficulty flying towards the corona and after some gentle encouragement he manages to swing the plane back around and goes past the quarry. I look back with the analog stick and notice he isn't climbing. I swing back around and much to my disbelief...as well as his passengers (and no doubt Rashkovky's)....the plane has come to rest on the side of a f*cking mountain. He does not answer our queries in the chat...five minutes later he comes back, apologizing profusely and mentioned something about his mum asking him to do something for her......before I can say anything about backing the plane up so he could get some lift for takeoff, the plane lurches forward to disaster and plummets onto rocks and gets wedged there. Failure ensues.


Oh boy....ok, take two? Same as before, Rashkovksy is extracted from the prison and is airborne. Again, he struggles to get towards the corona and finds himself out by Zancudo. Not sure if he is getting abused in the chat for the other two were Chinese as the text chat fills up but he finally heads back. He clearly doesn't know where it is so i tell him to keep circling and gaining altitude. This appears to be too much as well. Cue five minutes of half circling, half descending, going here and there before that dreaded failure screen pops up. The Velum has crashed....one of the players quits immediately, I follow suit and there is a message after from the host apologizing for screwing up. I tell him not to worry about it and I am not mad (well I was sort of....can I be mad at a kid who clearly has no idea?)


He tries to invite me the next night but I ignore his pleas and delete him from my friends list. No thank you....no more PB (honestly this time!) and no kids! My own two are enough lol

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  • KWF1981

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 10:42 AM



Zancudo... Had to help mummy... Bless... Kids Eh?!

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  • PinKPanther


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Posted 19 May 2017 - 01:27 PM

Did the Trashmaster setup with a few friends:


1st time (i'm the driver):


I backup into an alley, friends gets out, dies under the truck. Restart.


2nd time: Handbrake (not my brightest idea) into a large turn, i hit a car, makes me fly between a pole and a wall. When i finally manage to get back on the road, the truck is on fire for some reason. Restart.


3rd time: We get to the fuel station. Teammate shoots a 'nade, it hits an invisible wall and lands on the trashmaster, killing both the truck and i in the process.


4th time: Basically the same as 3rd.


5th time: we arrive near the depot, Right turn and a ennemy NPC hits us. Truck tips over, killing one of the teammate.


6th time: finally finished it.


Same sh*t for the EMP delivery at Humane. Atleast 15 retries, we were always spotted at some point.

  • DentureDynamite


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Posted 19 May 2017 - 04:30 PM Edited by DentureDynamite, 19 May 2017 - 04:31 PM.

Was amazed at what I thought was a sure fail; a good, solid team in PacStan (Convoy), but the truck ended up over the edge.


Figured it was going to be a restart, but one of the crew managed to drive it out (was busy nailing NPCs, so didn't see it happen).


I have to ask--how is that possible? I've tried it several times, but there seems to be no slope gradual enough for the truck to drive out with its very limited horsepower/traction?


That's precisely what you do when you just don't care anymore. *sigh* lol


But if you DID make it, R* would have to come up with some special award, and submit it to Ripley's Believe It or Not. :)

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 09:17 PM

Our team member did that... After we were unable to use the helicpter trick... Facepalm.

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  • Rizumoo

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Posted 20 May 2017 - 12:22 AM

4 hours on prison break at the moment finished all heists in my original account redoing all and i keep getting paired up with other people who can't even speak common english and take cover bunch of players who have crazy high level but cannot think for atleast a second

  • rafaelgsbr

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Posted 20 May 2017 - 03:35 AM

Pacific Standards finale. 3 of us are already on the boat. Random guy circling around the ramp not knowing what to do. We all tell him to use the ramp, jump, parachute down and every single thing we could think of in the simplest english possible. He probably didn't understand a single word, because 2 loooong minutes later he died.

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  • PinKPanther


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Posted 20 May 2017 - 12:36 PM

Not my brightest idea.


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  • Niño-Livi


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Posted 20 May 2017 - 04:25 PM

I actually managed to get picked up from him on that side lol

not on that try tho haha shot rpg at the magnet he shat it and lowered it for us 👊

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 12:29 PM

By: Taake

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