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Memorable quotes.

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Detective Phelps
  • Detective Phelps

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Posted 22 November 2014 - 03:31 PM

"Yeah, not safe for work, eh? You know, my son's computer runs into the same kind of problems."

  • Xerukal

    Kind ol' Trev

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Posted 23 November 2014 - 04:25 PM

"You and I are gonna have an arrangement. I'm gonna arrange your f*ckin' funeral!"

  • xolov


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Posted 23 November 2014 - 04:40 PM Edited by elias7001, 23 November 2014 - 04:41 PM.


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Posted 23 November 2014 - 06:12 PM Edited by IanE55, 23 November 2014 - 06:28 PM.

Roman: "Niko, you wanna go on a date? Come on, what is wrong with you?"
Niko: "Eh, okay... who is she?"
Roman: "That's the thing, it's a guy."
Niko: "f*ck you."

-Out of the Closet

"I cannot believe it, my bike was stolen last week. I went shopping at my local pharmacy for some organic cat litter... I don't have a cat, I just don't believe in natural water rights so I use it myself, its pretty free. Anyway, the bike, I was gone for like an hour or so, I come back, the bike, gone. And before you ask, no it was not a fixie, I'm not a cliche, don't be ridiculous. It was a penny farthing, that is a bike with meaning."

-DJ George on Radio Mirror Park
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  • Majestic81

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Posted 14 March 2015 - 09:25 PM Edited by Majestic81, 14 March 2015 - 09:35 PM.

Johnny shouting when drunk is priceless.


"I bet your mom has four f*cking legs!"

"Im white trash with drink inside of me, what do you expect?"

"Can you stand where i could hit you?"

"I dont remember what im angry about, but im real f*cking angry!"


His attitude was cool.

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American Viking
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    WKTT caller

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Posted 14 March 2015 - 10:48 PM

Trevor - "Hey, you wanna expedite the situation, then come...f*cking...find...me! Vespucci Beach, you inbred..hillbilly f*ck!" 

  • lastmanonearth

    Je suis Drunken Cowboy

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Posted 15 March 2015 - 10:24 AM

"My mother`s my sister!"

Son of Zeus
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    Still King

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Posted 15 March 2015 - 11:25 AM

"Does the pope sh*t in the woods?" - CJ

"What is my trade, Roman? What am I good at? I deal with death because that's the only thing open to me" - Niko

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Posted 15 March 2015 - 12:09 PM

"Hands on heads, or brains on streets. It's your choice.".

"Hey! What's going on back there? Playing with Mr Spankey?".


Random LCPD Officer, 2008.

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Luna 51
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Posted 15 March 2015 - 01:31 PM

"No one else is that small, I fell sorry for your dad" - the employee at the well stacked pizza on the mission Ryder.

It is obviously a reference to this scene at 1:28.
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  • housedeep

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Posted 15 March 2015 - 02:18 PM

''John, John. Ashley sends her love, yeah''

''You've got to give that girl another chance, you know. You kids are perfect for each other.''


''Thanks for the advice, Ray. I was thinking the same thing about you and a coffin.''




''Get in the car, useless'' 


- Tommy Vercetti to random goon.

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  • PhillBellic

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Posted 16 March 2015 - 12:06 PM

"You, are typical Liberty City as*hole!" Niko Bellic.

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  • housedeep

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Posted 21 March 2015 - 01:32 AM

"Shut up, Brian"

Smartest thing Billy ever said.
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  • Nico

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 08:26 PM

"Alright, more crap to wipe up. What did I do wrong in a past life?"

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 08:28 PM

"It's just up the road, I'll let you know when we're there."

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  • Failure

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Posted 28 March 2015 - 03:58 AM

"Look, you wanna do something other than just shadowing me everywhere? Why don't you come along and show me if you are any use." 

- Tommy Vercetti to Lance Vance


"It's 'cause I'm to intelligent for this s**t, man." 

- Ryder to Carl Johnson.


"When I say 'Just Business', I mean that I love you! When I say I interested no more, I mean that I long for you! And when I say I missed you-!"

- Catalina annoying Carl.


"Hell Yeah! There's no stopping me now! Liberty City... goodbye and good riddance."

- Mike



  • Gigs84

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Posted 31 March 2015 - 04:47 PM

"Every dog has it's day." - Uncle Leone



"I see nothing but good things for you, my boy." from Salvatore Leone is easily the most memorable quote of the entire series.

These two have always stuck out to me.

Ken Kaneki
  • Ken Kaneki

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Posted 22 December 2017 - 07:40 AM

Dumb. Florida. Moron.

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  • Night_MARE

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Posted 22 December 2017 - 06:42 PM

"Come on! Senor Dickhead! It's no problem to kill you!"
"8-ball's got some business upstairs. Maybe you can do me a favour."
"The triads think they can mess with me? THE TRIADS? WITH ME?"

VC -
"That was my money Tommy, MY MONEY!"
"We need to watch each other's back"
"Vance? Your name's Lance Vance?"
"One day I'm gonna save your ass, and you probably gonna wanna kiss me"
"100% Pure Grade-A Columbian my friend!"

SA -
Pretty much every dialogue is memorable :)

Ken Kaneki
  • Ken Kaneki

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Posted 22 December 2017 - 11:54 PM Edited by Ken Kaneki, 22 December 2017 - 11:56 PM.

All we had to do was to follow the damn train CJ! - Big Smoke

Do you shower in doo doo? - Orange 12

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Posted 23 December 2017 - 01:05 PM

"My butts gone numb", Wade Hebert
"Is that syrop" also Wade
"Please don't rape me I just want to be Wade"
"I Ain't no molester"
Wade Hebert: Are we nearly there yet?
Trevor Phillips: No, Wade.
Wade Hebert: Are we nearly nearly there?
Trevor Phillips: You keep this up, you're not going to get there at all.
Wade Hebert: Can you tell me a story?
Trevor Phillips: No, Wade.
Wade Hebert: Let's play a game then. You know Animal, Mineral or Vegetable? I'll go first. I'm nanotechnology.
Trevor Phillips: [confused.] Uh, you're what?
Wade Hebert: Ooh. Dammit. I gave it away. I wasn't supposed to say what I am. I'll start again. Animal, vegetable or mineral.
Trevor Phillips: Hey, hey, hey. How about this? I'll tell you a story if you promise never to speak again.
Wade Hebert: I like stories.

Man a f*cking love Wade

Rebel Yell
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Posted 23 December 2017 - 01:56 PM Edited by Rebel Yell, 23 December 2017 - 01:57 PM.

Lance: Oh, way to go, tough guy. Beat him up to a pulp. That should make him really chatty.

Tommy: You want some, too?

Lance: Hey, chill. I want what you want, brother.

Tommy: Oh yeah? And what's that?

Lance: Your green - and my dead brother's white lady. Unfortunately, you just silenced our lead.

Tommy: Accidents happen. Get lost.

Lance: Hey, hey, whoa. No need to go all "Lone Ranger" on my ass. The way I see it - we two hombres in a strange town. We need to watch each other's back.

Tommy: My back's just fine, brother.

[Teal's henchmen show up behind Tommy]

Lance: You sure about that? Here, take this. Follow me!


- After Tommy takes down Teal in Back Alley Brawl.




Diaz: Vic, we were just talking about you.

Lance: Yeah...

Diaz: Yeah... about you boys repaying that money I lent you.

Victor: What f*cking money? Hey, what's he talking about?

Lance: Look, I borrowed some money for us from Ricardo and we're going to pay him back, okay?

Victor: What the f*ck have you done now?

Lance: I invested back in the business... I'm sorry, Ricardo baby, but sometimes brothers get alpha male on you, y'know.

Diaz: I know... that's why I killed mine.


- Lance, Victor and Diaz in the beginning of Domo Arigato Domestoboto.




Abdul: Yusuf!

Yusuf: Oh, Poppa! What are you doing here?.. Welcome! Welcome, Poppa. This is my business associate... err err... Mr... uh...

Luis: Luis.

Yusuf: Mr. Lewis. Y'Allah, he is the greatest technical advisor in the whole city. And this is his wife, Jaundice. 

Jonelle: Careful, motherf*cker... Yo.

Luis: Hey.

Yusuf: Yes. And you know... we were just having a little creative meeting and things went a bit crazy and I somehow lost my pants. But you know, Poppa, I tell you are looking - you're looking - very well, in fact.

Abdul: I knew how disgraceful you were, but I didn't realize quite how shameful you were.

Yusuf: Things are not how they look. 

Abdul: Things do not look good, son.

Yusuf: Don't judge a book by its cover, Father. That's what you taught me.

Abdul: When a book is called "Guns, Drugs, Hookers and No Pants", I think I don't need to read it. 


- Yusuf's father crashes his party in Caught With Your Pants Down.




Francis: Some drug dealer is holed up in a tower block in East Holland. This scumbag's been pushing drugs, pimping women, you name it, he's done it. I need him dealt with.

Niko: Isn't that police work?

Francis: Sure... and the moon is made of cheese and the streets is paved with gold. Wake up!

Niko: Excuse me?

Francis: The guy's guilty as sin. He is sin. But it'll take me year to get the evidence. More maybe. And maybe good men will be taken down by that evidence. Maybe people make mistakes. But this guy is scum.

Niko: How much?

Francis: Oh, how much? Good money. Two G's.

Niko: Two?.. You mean five.

Francis: Y'know, if someone was to tell me you're a fresh off the boat killer with more balls than brains, I'd say he was about right.


- Frankie instructs Niko to kill Clarence in Holland Nights.




U.L Paper Guy: So... you fought in the war...

Niko: You know a lot.

U.L Paper Guy: Yes. You're looking for some people.

Niko: We're all looking for that special someone. 

U.L Paper Guy: But most of us don't wanna kill them when we find them. 

Niko: Most murders are committed by people you know. Most wives are killed by their husbands.

U.L Paper Guy: Yes. And my wife better stops sleeping with that tennis coach or... I'm joking.

Niko: I'm sure your wife doesn't need to sleep around... Oh, I'm joking... I'm sure she does. 

U.L Paper Guy: Funny. I'm divorced. My wife can sleep with whoever she wants.

Niko: Interesting.

U.L Paper Guy: I'm not divorced. I was never married. No details.


- Niko and U.L Paper Guy in Portrait of a Killer.

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  • Prasdana21

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Posted 23 December 2017 - 03:28 PM

It's far too late for that, Marty. You had your chance, but now I'm taking over the business...LOSER!! - Carl


For god's sake, Phil, stop waving that thing around! - Tommy Vercetti


Do me a favor, help keep this degenerate out of of jail, alright? - Ray Boccino


Look, I'm not in the business of caring about people's feelings, bud. - That random pedestrian in Wrong is Right Mission (GTA IV)

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Posted 23 December 2017 - 09:26 PM

"Open the back room door or I blow your f***ing face off! Leave the panic button or I'll kill your children too!"
*alarm goes off*
"I warned you, you stupid bitch."
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  • BowlingMaster


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Posted 23 December 2017 - 09:53 PM

"Experience tought me that a man like you can be very loyal for the right price, but groups of men get greedy" - Donald Love

"Nothing brings down real estate prices quicker than a good ol' fashioned gang war. Except maybe a disaster like a biblical plague or something, but that might be going too far in this case" - Avery Carrington

"Shut up, sit down, relax" - Tommy Vercetti

"I just wanted to piss you off before I kill you" - Tommy Vercetti

Ryder's conclusion that he is a genius (Not going to write the whole cutscene script)

"War is where the rich and bitter trick the young and stupid into killing each other" - Niko Bellic

"You forget a thousand things everyday, How about you make sure this is one of them" - Michael Townley

Ken Kaneki
  • Ken Kaneki

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Posted 24 December 2017 - 01:48 AM Edited by Ken Kaneki, 24 December 2017 - 01:55 AM.

FOOL! FOOL! FOOL! FOOL! - Ricardo Diaz yelling at someone on phone before slamming it to the ground.

EJECT! Plastic crap! - Diaz haven't realize his VCR plugged in.

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Posted 24 December 2017 - 02:17 AM

Carl: Does the Pope sh*t in the woods?
Cesar: Why you keep asking me that, holmes? I told you, I dunno. Where the holiness does his business, is his business.
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Ken Kaneki
  • Ken Kaneki

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Posted 24 December 2017 - 09:05 AM Edited by Ken Kaneki, 24 December 2017 - 09:09 AM.

YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE FOOL!                                                                 

CJ? Ohhhh, my dog! Whassup!

-Big Smoke


Tommy Vercetti! Huh, sh*t! They never let him out. - Sonny Forelli

Am Shaegar
  • Am Shaegar

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Posted 24 December 2017 - 09:17 AM

CJ: See you around, officer.

Ken Kaneki
  • Ken Kaneki

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Posted 28 December 2017 - 02:12 AM

What kind of a man are you? When I say "just business", I mean that I love you! When I say I no interested no more, I mean that I long for you! And when I say that I missed you...!

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