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Grand Theft Auto: State On The Edge Of Forever

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Loosestring
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#61

Posted 17 December 2014 - 12:06 PM



Ben 10?? I let the kids watch that. I had no idea it was so violent. It's not like I let them watch me play GTA or anything... :D

 

But seriously, I can see where you're coming from and I've got a lot of appreciation for how you described and introduced LB. I hope this isn't the last we see of him either...

I know what you mean. :D Nah, I'm not watching Ben 10 anymore, it's just turned into some kid worship material after it hit the popularity, actually I've never been into it too much. When I was at the primary school, there would be generally nothing to watch on TV, so I would switch it to Cartoon Network and the Ben 10 would be on the broadcast by that time. Actually, before not minding Argit, I'd like to cut LB as a rip-off merchant who would anything for money, even a little sum of money. After creating him, I reminded that "Dude, there was a rat-faced character in Ben 10, who was just like a greedy a'hole like LB is". That's the valid story. :D

 

 

Were you ever going to do anything based on that idea of Sweet pulling a robbery?

 

 

I think so. As it's something very solid to put into story. That's what I have in plate for (here could be a big, fat spoiler but...):

 

Spoiler

Tyla
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#62

Posted 20 December 2014 - 08:27 AM

I actually like the focus on flashbacks through Big Bear instead of actually seeing the robbery happen. Of course, with Big Bear being so f*cked up on crack we'd have to consider if what we're seeing is even the actual truth...

 

I'm very much looking forward to seeing Kane working away from the Ballas for a while. We've only really seen glimpses of that with Collins, so it will make a interesting change.


Loosestring
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#63

Posted 23 December 2014 - 03:32 PM Edited by TheUnholy, 23 December 2014 - 04:39 PM.

I'll be going under some small changes with the soundtrack as soon as I get my head out from writing this damn report. I was thinking, how about a psychedelic rock (and possibly stoner rock) station based in San Fierro? I think it could be named Gant Rock Radio, in tribute to April 20 observances.


Tyla
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#64

Posted 01 January 2015 - 06:28 AM

I'll be going under some small changes with the soundtrack as soon as I get my head out from writing this damn report. I was thinking, how about a psychedelic rock (and possibly stoner rock) station based in San Fierro? I think it could be named Gant Rock Radio, in tribute to April 20 observances.

Go for it :D Although I think a name like Spirit (with whatever frequency) would be better than another rock radio station.

 

Hopefully SF-UR will also have a playlist by the time the story heads to San Fierro.

 


Tyla
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#65

Posted 26 January 2015 - 10:21 AM

I noticed this great topic was missing a Master Sounds 98.3 radio station... so I went ahead and created one.

 

I used songs from your Radio Los Santos & Playback FM stations to gather the samples, the same as the original station in San Andreas did.

 

Master Sounds 98.3

Genre: Rare Groove

Host: Johnny "The Love Giant" Parkinson

 

Albert King - I'll Play The Blues For You

Bobby Byrd - If You Got A Love

B.T Express - Once You Get It

Curtis Mayfield - Kung Fu

Donald Byrd - (Falling Like) Dominoes

Dyke & The Blazers - Let A Woman Be A Woman

Fred Wesley & The JBs - If You Don't Get It The First Time

Incredible Bongo Band - Apache

James Brown - Funky Drummer

Kool & The Gang - Let The Music Take Your Mind

Lee Dorsey - Get Out Of My Life Woman

Mohawks - The Champ

Roy Ayers - Boogie Back

Sir Joe Quarterman & Free Soul - I'm Gonna Get You

[CENTER]Master Sounds 98.3

Genre: Rare Groove

Host: Johnny "The Love Giant" Parkinson

[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHs8jX50OVk]Albert King - I'll Play The Blues For You[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8AjjG56XYo]Bobby Byrd - If You Got A Love[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1ktefyxM6g]B.T Express - Once You Get It[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83u0dymSM5M]Curtis Mayfield - Kung Fu[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU1PyzEVPdg]Donald Byrd - (Falling Like) Dominoes[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_moB85G7xI]Dyke & The Blazers - Let A Woman Be A Woman[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v90Fg5spCGI]Fred Wesley & The JBs - If You Don't Get It The First Time[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjiU2YAlYKY]Incredible Bongo Band - Apache[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoQ4AtsFWVM]James Brown - Funky Drummer[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3lknC5c3kQ]Kool & The Gang - Let The Music Take Your Mind[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxp0Kfgpft8]Lee Dorsey - Get Out Of My Life Woman[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpWIggaXycQ]Mohawks - The Champ[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaCEdjO-0VE]Roy Ayers - Boogie Back[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XizKnYgdJX8]Sir Joe Quarterman & Free Soul - I'm Gonna Get You[/URL]
[/CENTER]
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Loosestring
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#66

Posted 26 January 2015 - 06:21 PM

 

I noticed this great topic was missing a Master Sounds 98.3 radio station... so I went ahead and created one.

 

I used songs from your Radio Los Santos & Playback FM stations to gather the samples, the same as the original station in San Andreas did.

 

Master Sounds 98.3

Genre: Rare Groove

Host: Johnny "The Love Giant" Parkinson

 

Albert King - I'll Play The Blues For You

Bobby Byrd - If You Got A Love

B.T Express - Once You Get It

Curtis Mayfield - Kung Fu

Donald Byrd - (Falling Like) Dominoes

Dyke & The Blazers - Let A Woman Be A Woman

Fred Wesley & The JBs - If You Don't Get It The First Time

Incredible Bongo Band - Apache

James Brown - Funky Drummer

Kool & The Gang - Let The Music Take Your Mind

Lee Dorsey - Get Out Of My Life Woman

Mohawks - The Champ

Roy Ayers - Boogie Back

Sir Joe Quarterman & Free Soul - I'm Gonna Get You

[CENTER]Master Sounds 98.3

Genre: Rare Groove

Host: Johnny "The Love Giant" Parkinson

[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHs8jX50OVk]Albert King - I'll Play The Blues For You[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8AjjG56XYo]Bobby Byrd - If You Got A Love[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1ktefyxM6g]B.T Express - Once You Get It[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83u0dymSM5M]Curtis Mayfield - Kung Fu[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU1PyzEVPdg]Donald Byrd - (Falling Like) Dominoes[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_moB85G7xI]Dyke & The Blazers - Let A Woman Be A Woman[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v90Fg5spCGI]Fred Wesley & The JBs - If You Don't Get It The First Time[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjiU2YAlYKY]Incredible Bongo Band - Apache[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoQ4AtsFWVM]James Brown - Funky Drummer[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3lknC5c3kQ]Kool & The Gang - Let The Music Take Your Mind[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxp0Kfgpft8]Lee Dorsey - Get Out Of My Life Woman[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpWIggaXycQ]Mohawks - The Champ[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaCEdjO-0VE]Roy Ayers - Boogie Back[/URL]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XizKnYgdJX8]Sir Joe Quarterman & Free Soul - I'm Gonna Get You[/URL]
[/CENTER]

Gee wiz, Tyla. To be honest, I've not that knowledged with groove genre and that eased my job. However, I listen all the songs and they're neat. I'll be putting this on soundtrack, with the next update, which will come after the next update, probably after I'm done with Chapter I. I realized that I've neglected the main posts that are not updated for a long time. Boy, that'll need some big tidying. :D


Niko Montana
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#67

Posted 01 February 2015 - 09:50 AM

Where do I begin. THIS CONCEPT IS AMAZING! I love the details in the story and side missions as well as the storyline. Radio Los Santos & Playback FM look amazing too. Its hard to believe that this is in the 3D Universe. Great job bro!


Money Over Bullshit
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#68

Posted 25 February 2015 - 05:07 PM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 26 February 2015 - 02:56 PM.

Hey man I have a little idea of how you could reinvent this topic.

 

I think maybe the reason it isn't getting the amount of attention that it should is because it's set in the 3D Universe.. so why not shift the setting to San Andreas in the HD Universe instead??

 

The Ballas, The Families, The Vagos and VLA all exist in the HD universe and we know from West Coast Talk Radio and Radio Los Santos's inclusion in GTA V that all of the SA radio stations would probably exist within your time setting also. I know your protagonist is supposed to be Kane from San Andreas but could he not easily just be a member of the HD Ballas who is also nicknamed Kane?? It could even act as a bit of an Easter Egg.

 

It could also be a good way to streamline your story i.e. take the ideas you have for future chapters, throw out the bad ones and put the good ones into a Blaine County based chapter. It would mean that you would need to change certain details of your current missions (changing location names etc.) but that's easily done man what do you think?


Loosestring
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#69

Posted 25 February 2015 - 08:07 PM Edited by TheUnholy, 26 February 2015 - 10:21 AM.

Hey man I have a little idea of how you could reinvent this topic.

 

I think maybe the reason it isn't getting the amount of attention that it should is because it's set in the 3D Universe.. so why not shift the setting to San Andreas in the HD Universe instead??

 

The Ballas, The Families, The Vagos and VLA all exist in the HD universe and we know from West Coast Talk Radio and Radio Los Santos's inclusion in GTA V that all of the SA radio stations would probably exist within your time setting also. I know your protagonist is supposed to be Kane from SAN Andreas but could he not easily just be a member of the HD Ballas who is also nicknamed Kane?? It could even act as a bit of an Easter Egg.

 

It could also be a good way to streamline your story i.e. take the ideas you have for future chapters, throw out the bad ones and put the good ones into a Blaine County based chapter. It would mean that you would need to change certain details of your current missions (changing location names etc.) but that's easily done man what do you think?

Thanks for the care, man. I know this concepts gets little attention, at first I've been desperate about it but now I think I got over with it. Setting a HD Era game has its own utilities such as the more freedom you have while setting missions, which comes with a plus for their huge maps but IMO, 3D Era has more potential than creating HD Era concept threads and that's why I'm going with it. Honestly, I've always been a little bit contradictory and that's why I'm not into commercialism, a holy gift what modern era broughts us for all. :lol:

 

State on the Edge of Forever's first coming point was the lack of San Andreas Stories, San Andreas had a great potential to have a prequel especially and the game has lots of unanswered, blank questions to be found answer for. Lots!: how desperate the Grove has been since Carl left, how harsh Smoke's greed has beat up his heart in a decaying underworld, how the Grove's wild card Big Bear has become a crackhead, what's the deal with B-Dup... can be extended. Well... I can say SOTEOF is not just a gang-banging hood story, it will also put huge shine on a slowly rotten state of San Andreas, getting worse with the rivalries between government agencies (FBI, DEA and CIA [on Mike Toreno's behalf]), the businessman making crooked land dealings with help from police and such (hopefully, we're gonna see this at Chapter III of the story, which sets in San Fierro), the police corruption and more.

 

Most of the questions I've ordered will find an answer during Chapter II, the longest chapter of the story, all we gotta have just a little bit patience. :D For all the reasons I've talked about, I think if the game's switched to HD Era, I think it will lose its vibe. I think it's better if I leave it to PooyanCyrus (coming up with his recent concept, Ghetto Green). To be honest, SOTEOF is some kind of a mix of 3D and HD, loosely for its complex storytelling, gameplay and in-game features, I can't deny that.

 

BTW, I know I've neglected this topic too much because there was stuff to do again but now I'm working on re-constructing the radio stations, the descriptions of some in-game activities and some random encounter missions. Hopefully, we may see them up and running at the end of this week.

 

I've re-installed San Andreas to get some inspiration for Chapter I Part 16: Los Santos' Finest, which I've been talking about with Tyla for a long time but now I think I've come up with something. Rather than bothering Tyla on his mailbox, it's better I post it here and any ideas and feedback would be appreciated:

 

Spoiler

 

Actually, my beloved intention was to set the deal inside an apartment block. While the SWAT raids the place, Kane makes his way to the roof where he makes inside another apartment and escapes from there but Combo takes the downstairs and is eventually arrested by the LSPD. Although I liked this idea pretty much, I felt like to back off because it's almost the same as GTA IV mission Blow Your Cover.


Money Over Bullshit
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#70

Posted 26 February 2015 - 02:55 PM

 

Hey man I have a little idea of how you could reinvent this topic.

 

I think maybe the reason it isn't getting the amount of attention that it should is because it's set in the 3D Universe.. so why not shift the setting to San Andreas in the HD Universe instead??

 

The Ballas, The Families, The Vagos and VLA all exist in the HD universe and we know from West Coast Talk Radio and Radio Los Santos's inclusion in GTA V that all of the SA radio stations would probably exist within your time setting also. I know your protagonist is supposed to be Kane from SAN Andreas but could he not easily just be a member of the HD Ballas who is also nicknamed Kane?? It could even act as a bit of an Easter Egg.

 

It could also be a good way to streamline your story i.e. take the ideas you have for future chapters, throw out the bad ones and put the good ones into a Blaine County based chapter. It would mean that you would need to change certain details of your current missions (changing location names etc.) but that's easily done man what do you think?

Thanks for the care, man. I know this concepts gets little attention, at first I've been desperate about it but now I think I got over with it. Setting a HD Era game has its own utilities such as the more freedom you have while setting missions, which comes with a plus for their huge maps but IMO, 3D Era has more potential than creating HD Era concept threads and that's why I'm going with it. Honestly, I've always been a little bit contradictory and that's why I'm not into commercialism, a holy gift what modern era broughts us for all. :lol:

 

State on the Edge of Forever's first coming point was the lack of San Andreas Stories, San Andreas had a great potential to have a prequel especially and the game has lots of unanswered, blank questions to be found answer for. Lots!: how desperate the Grove has been since Carl left, how harsh Smoke's greed has beat up his heart in a decaying underworld, how the Grove's wild card Big Bear has become a crackhead, what's the deal with B-Dup... can be extended. Well... I can say SOTEOF is not just a gang-banging hood story, it will also put huge shine on a slowly rotten state of San Andreas, getting worse with the rivalries between government agencies (FBI, DEA and CIA [on Mike Toreno's behalf]), the businessman making crooked land dealings with help from police and such (hopefully, we're gonna see this at Chapter III of the story, which sets in San Fierro), the police corruption and more.

 

Most of the questions I've ordered will find an answer during Chapter II, the longest chapter of the story, all we gotta have just a little bit patience. :D For all the reasons I've talked about, I think if the game's switched to HD Era, I think it will lose its vibe. I think it's better if I leave it to PooyanCyrus (coming up with his recent concept, Ghetto Green). To be honest, SOTEOF is some kind of a mix of 3D and HD, loosely for its complex storytelling, gameplay and in-game features, I can't deny that.

 

BTW, I know I've neglected this topic too much because there was stuff to do again but now I'm working on re-constructing the radio stations, the descriptions of some in-game activities and some random encounter missions. Hopefully, we may see them up and running at the end of this week.

 

I've re-installed San Andreas to get some inspiration for Chapter I Part 16: Los Santos' Finest, which I've been talking about with Tyla for a long time but now I think I've come up with something. Rather than bothering Tyla on his mailbox, it's better I post it here and any ideas and feedback would be appreciated:

 

Spoiler

 

Actually, my beloved intention was to set the deal inside an apartment block. While the SWAT raids the place, Kane makes his way to the roof where he makes inside another apartment and escapes from there but Combo takes the downstairs and is eventually arrested by the LSPD. Although I liked this idea pretty much, I felt like to back off because it's almost the same as GTA IV mission Blow Your Cover.

 

Ok fair enough but I still think you need to condense the story otherwise you'll still be posting missions ten years from now. I would say jump to your big ideas and major turning points quickly rather than slowly building up to them with mundane missions and events. There are very few concepts on here that ever get completed because people don't despense with the bullsh*t. Dont get me wrong I'm guilty of creating long winded topics myself The Code of the Streets was supposed to be a DLC and it contained 50 missions. Family Ties is also currently about twice as long as I originally planned it to be. I kind of regret making it so comprehensive but when I realised it may be too big to actually finish I was so far into the story that I said I might aswell finish it. This topic is probably a bit of a labour of love for you but you really need to consider whether everything you have planned out is actually feasible. How many missions in total are you actually planning on having??


Tyla
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#71

Posted 03 March 2015 - 04:35 AM

I wouldn't enjoy this if it was set in the HD universe.

 

Someone else should build on the above idea.

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#72

Posted 28 November 2015 - 02:13 PM

I really have to bump this thread.

JESUS! You put the rest of us to shame. Gave it a quick readthrough just now and it might not mean something to you coming from someone like me, but this is among the best things I have yet to read in my entire life. Just ask and I will be first in line to kill for this concept to continue. This is mos def a concept I would show my grandma on her death bed. Good game, comrade.
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Loosestring
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#73

Posted 29 November 2015 - 03:59 PM

I really have to bump this thread.

JESUS! You put the rest of us to shame. Gave it a quick readthrough just now and it might not mean something to you coming from someone like me, but this is among the best things I have yet to read in my entire life. Just ask and I will be first in line to kill for this concept to continue. This is mos def a concept I would show my grandma on her death bed. Good game, comrade.

Thanks for the great compliment. I'm glad you enjoyed it. BTW, the sixteenth part of the Chapter I will come today, everybody. Finally, this concept is awaking from its dead man's grave. :sly:

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Tyla
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#74

Posted 29 November 2015 - 04:41 PM

Hell yes! Can't wait for it man.


Loosestring
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#75

Posted 29 November 2015 - 09:46 PM Edited by TheUnholy, 29 November 2015 - 11:28 PM.

- PART 16 -

Saints Of Los Santos

 

 

 

 

"I can sh*t on you from such a height you'll think God himself crapped on you."

- Frank Tenpenny

 

I

 

This part of the story will be triggered right after West pages Kane to call him via. a payphone.

 

"Get yo' ass to a payphone quick and hit me up ASAP. Peace. - West."

 

Like in Part 6: The Edge of Forever, the nearest paypone to your location will be marked with a white circle on which there is a black phone handset. Go call West from a payphone to progress the mission.

 

After interacting with a payphone, Kane will dial West and starts impatiently waiting him to answer as the ringing sound goes on and on. A bit late, an intense yet rough voice will answer the call, most probably Tyrone, West's bodyguard. 

 

"Yo!" Tyrone rudely shouts with his rough voice.

 

"Hey!.. It's Kane. Need to talk West, he told me call." West answers with a more gentle voice compared to Tyrone's.

 

"Wait a sec..." Tyrone says. Kane impatiently taps his left foot on the hot concrete until West's voice suddenly bursts out of the other side of the line. 

 

"Hey, boy. Sup?"

 

"S'all good. What with all this royal queen like attitude... big boss?" Kane intelligently mocks with West's new means of communication.

 

"Nigga, f*ck you! There be heat all over the town eva since yo' freakin' genius homie clapped that kid. The wire might be all tapped... paypones is the best choice we've if we gon' chat."

 

"Yeah. The thinkin' is the big dogs' job, pawns like me won't understand."

 

"Boy, what the damn thing with you today? You've high temperature o' somethin'? f*ck! Go get Combo over his new turf; you two'll pick up some... hot parts." West finally has the chance to talk about the real thing and as a seasoned criminal, he knows how he can code what he's saying.

 

"Combo!? Don't make me deal with his proud ass. Also after all the sh*t he done, why you cut him to score some dime?" Kane is not hesitated to pull another job with Combo and obviously wondering why still West tries to put him into action.

 

"I'm sorry, Kane but we moved tha stash to Entourage fo' a while. Course not smart, leavin' all ou' sh*t to lil' sh*t-pants but at least we sure they ain't stealin. That why I like new blood; fear works well on 'em. Once a young wolf grows up, he try to fill up the old wolf's stomach with heavy stones and eat up all his sheep. Right, Kane?" West delivers his righteous reason why Kane has to work with his fallen former chief, and doesn't miss a chance to give another lyrical speech while he's at it.

 

"You say so..."

 

"So you two go shove some blow, get buttnaked, f*ck strippers, be cool like a freezer or just don't talk a damn word like in a Paddy Melvin picture. Hell... just pull the sh*t off and later on, I ain't give a damn f*ck if you two bitches pop each others in cold water." West just shoves his request of the two work with each other with no problem and suddenly hangs up the phone.

 

"West! West!.. Damn." After some desperate tries to reach West, Kane puts the headset on its place.

 

Now grab a ride and drive towards Combo's new turf, Entourage, which is right next to Grove Street. When you get really close to the area, a cutscene kicks in.

 

Shining out to the shades of a white Previon, a bulked Combo is seen leaning over a payphone, having a call with a cigarette between his fat lips.

 

"A'right." Combo mumbles as the cigarette vibrates on his moving lips and later he agressively puts the handset back on the phone as soon as his word is finished.

 

The camera focuses back on the white Previon as Combo throws out his cigarette, yet agressively again and starts to walk down the corner.

 

Turning down the corner, the whole street is glitzed with newbie, child drug dealers, some of whom are just messing around, some of whom are doing the count, some of whom are feeding their fake egos while playing with their little "toy" guns that are bigger than themselves. Combo checks near the young and idealist yet gullible members of his crew, who are having potato chips while sipping soda pop. By that time, Kane speeds down the fronting street and white Previon decides to roll back.

 

"Nigga! The money be green. Ain't some sh*t like a spoonface president on white paper!.. " Combo angrily yells to his bushy haired employee who's not presumably older than 14 while holding and angrily shaking a fistful of fake dollars.

 

Kane parks right in front of the crowd.

 

"Combo! Hop in!" Kane shouts to Combo.

 

"This ain't finished yet. You gon' find that motherf*cka, splash his junk-ass brains over the dirty concrete he smoke my sh*t on!.. If you not, I be f*ckin' you up, fool. You dig?" Combo noticed Kane's existence but he continued to talk sense in his gullible crew member. He handed his boy a Pistol stuck in his pants and showed him a way to make it right for his mistake.

 

Later, Combo stormed out of the crowd of his little crew members and got in Kane's vehicle.

 

"Sooo, where we headed?" Kane asks where they're supposed to go.

 

"Down Angel Pine. The sh*t's stashed in a car over there."

 

...

 

"So how you do up here? Everythang cool?" After a short silence, Kane attempts to start a conversation to prevent ice blocks forming.

 

"f*ckin' perfect. Place has dat fair share o' Grade-A violence and tragicomedy. Just fit well for a real G like me." Combo doesn't miss a fit chance to hit Kane back with a serious sarcasm.

 

"Same sh*t, different day, huh?"

 

"How you'd like to call. The f*ckin' Groves wagin' up here since they capped yo' boy Bulleye's girlfriend. Lucky I be there or them kids be floatin' in the sewer by midnight."

 

"Woah! Straight outta Ganton."

 

"Ya' know the funniest thang?.. Those kids don't even know what cold, hard cash look like. Some low-life punk dip one buck and paper in a cup of coffe, give it to the boy and the busta' take the motherf*ckin' money, hand the nickelbag... You f*ckin' believe that?" Combo shares his shock on one of his crew members who got tricked by a simple coffee-paper trick.

 

"Ol' coffee-paper trick, huh? I wasn't even fooled by that when I dropped school and started slangin'."

 

"I know, right. Those boys'd get their tiny head smashed like a juicy melon when a weak crackhead swings a bat on 'em. Them boys is no use, yet, they goin' up with their shorts on their asscracks. The sh*t's pathetic." Combo shows his disgust on little kids takin' jobs at corners when they can't even defend themselves against junkies. 

 

"That their right part fo' the dopey community if you ask West."

 

"West? Who the f*ck is West? Who the f*ck he be? GED'd up his loony ass to a business degree, puttin' on a tie and rollin' 'round the town with big wheels and actin' like a big dog? Those types never made it top 'round here. That burrito Jimenez, that pumped-up spic in the can, that dude Candy or some sh*t... all be porched in the hood. I ain't gettin' why Big Ben tosses the mark West like a shoppin' bag. If I be in his shoes, I woulda already popped that bitch and wore his skin as a leather jacket."

 

"Well... the man knows playin' it. The game's big and rigged."

 

" Some posin' two timin' bitch pretendin' to be oil rich white dude ain't what we need. Some black brother know the reality yet hard as nails'll keep the wheel rollin'... some motherf*cka like that iron fist boy Mosa Aziz. But who I explainin' to... you won't understand." 

 

When Kane and Combo arrive at Angel Pine, they cut inside a shallow parking lot bordered with a small wall of bricks, next to the medical center. The men stop their ride in front of a rusty Virgo after Combo replies the drugs have got to be stuffed in it.

 

"That should be it." Combo says, pointing the beat-up Virgo.

 

"Sit behind the wheel, big chief. You up and runnin' after all." Combo tells Kane to drive in a sarcastic yet noticably serious attitude.

 

"Nigga, f*ck you!" Kane says.

 

"This chump heap ain't rollin'." Kane turns the ignition key for several times but the car seems to be too beat-up to be working.

 

"Hit the trunk and cop the sh*t then. We no need ridin' on this useless sh*t." Combo suggests taking the dope from the trunk and leaving with another vehicle... that works properly, of course.

 

Kane and Combo open the trunk to reveal two duffelbags containing the drugs. Each hangs one on their shoulders and Kane slams the trunk harshly, causing the junked-up Virgo shaking in a way that it's about to break in pieces soon. Combo starts walking back to ride they come with, but he witnesses it getting blown up straight out of a 4th of July firecracker session in the blink of an eye, having survived exploding to be a roasted flesh, just a few steps back. 

 

"Yo! What the f*ck!?" Combo tries to perceive what's going on as he breaks into loud coughs.

 

"There be a damn sniper on the roof. Nigga, come back and duck behind the f*ckin' car." Kane shouts behind the trunk while the camera focuses on a SWAT sniper.

 

"No other choice... We gotta shoot ou' way outta here." Combo says as he draws a Micro Uzi under his purple trackjacket.

 

"Come and get me, you blue wearin' dirty lawful ass suckas!" Combo yells as he bursts fire on upcoming SWAT enforcers like he came straight outta a Jack Howitzer movie.

 

"Damn!.." Kane irratedly mumbles.

 

Now you take back the control of Kane, ducking behind the rusty car with a bag filled with drugs on your back. First, try to insure Combo's safety because he may take a lot of damage if not striked from back. Most importantly, take out the sniper on the roof before he wipes out Combo with a clear shot. Later clear off the SWAT unit trying to push up front. However, after the unit is cleared, more five or six SWAT men will strike. Be cautious and fast or you may end up being dead meat.

 

After they're dead, Combo pushes onto the open streets and the firefight gets rougher as the town sheriff responds to the crime scene, prompting an obvious bloodbath gunfight on the streets on Angel Pine.

 

A couple of rural police jeeps come for aid, prompting Combo to open fire to lay them off while trying to make it near the local Cluckin' Bell. Kane follows Combo through his path; as Kane, you can move smartly towards Cluckin' Bell while putting the town police under heavy fire or simply kill them to make sure your pass is safer.

 

When Kane and Combo manage to arrive in front of the restaurant, five SWAT enforcers will come out of the back in a linear position with their M4s ready to shoot. To protect from any bloody consequences, you can take cover behind the gates, and try to perform headshots on the SWATs as each will be wearing body armor.

 

After killing them, Kane and Combo get on the main road which is blocked by two sides; to their right, Town Sheriff stands by two police jeeps and a clique of fellow rangers, speaking through his megaphone, telling the two troublemaking criminals to stop, in a laidback style. To their left, two SWAT trucks have closed the road; SWAT enforcers rush out of their trucks, fast load their guns to be ready for action. Combo starts to run for the stone wall across the road while unloading his magazine on the sheriff and his men. Kane can aid Combo by keeping SWAT men busy, leading them.

 

After crossing the road without getting wasted, Kane and Combo jump on the little stone wall because Combo has already made their escaped strategy: "We move inside the sawmill, and we can lost these motherf*ckas clean."

 

Almost completely out of breath, Kane and Combo run towards the sawmill's gates, as the dope filled bags shake left to right and hit on their backs. Kane and Combo burst inside the facility through green plastic gates at the north side of it, confronting some lumberjacks. Both men quickly inhale and exhale for a few second, trying to regain their energy. However, Combo later stands stiff, pulls out his gun, making the puzzled lumberjacks even more confused.

 

"A'right, bustas. Just stay straight 'n' I ain't gonna line you up and cap you like a couple o' dirty street cats." Combo draws a circle with the gun in his hand and orders with a half calm, half nervous voice.

 

The workplace was all silent, but a few sharp mutterings can be heard, which of course annoyed Combo. It doesn't take too much time for Combo to notice the two whisperers and he shoots them in the head in cold blood. 

 

"I remember tellin' you marks to keep it cool. I really need to cap you all to make you understood?" Combo angrily shouts on the poor lumberjacks who just nod their heads while looking shocked at their friends' corpses.

 

"Good." Combo says and storms up, and Kane comes behind him. 

 

However, suddenly Combo stops, raises his weapon and executes the rest of the lumberjacks in the blink of an eye, shocking Kane.

 

"Man, you'll stop killin' every motherf*cker you bump into?" Kane complains to Combo for his psychotic tendency of killing people.

 

"What!? So they chop us into pieces and send to north border 'long with chopped-up woods?.. No homie, I'm good." Combo says and continues to walk on his path.

 

Kane and Combo continue moving inside the sawmill, looking for a safe exit route. At the other side of the place, Combo finds a large garage, most probably leading outside the sawmill. Combo tries to open up the garage but his hard work is no use. So Combo checks up the manager's office to get something that can get throught the garage gate's lock.

 

"Hey! I need a tool. Somethin' that could break that damn lockup." Combo kicks the door open and asks the manager.

 

"Ya' lookin' for this, ya' two-bit slum crook." The manager says with his disturbing voice after getting an axe under his desk.

 

Given back Kane's control, you're prompted to put the manager down before he brutally separates each of Combo's limbs. A headshot would be the best way to eliminate him.

 

After you kill the manager, Combo moves near his dead body, picks up his axe and starts to work on it, meanwhile he angrily shouts lines like "Yeah!", "Take it, pig!", "You like it, bitch... huh!?". After Combo satisfies himself, brutally severing the manager's dead body for trying to cut him alive, he exits the office, swinging the bloody blade of the axe when slowly walking towards the lockup. While, Combo tries to break the garage's lock, a harsh crashing sound comes from the roof, prompting Kane to strap on his Pistol and check what's going on.

 

Apparently, SWAT has managed to track you down and they're looking for the fugitives that slipped right out of their hands. A squad of seven or eight SWAT enforcers burst through the rood. You can hit some of them while they climb down into the sawmill or you can also wait till they all come down and start searching the place, kill them all while they're unprepared.

 

After you take out the SWAT squad clean, Combo will have managed to break into the lockup and will shout Kane to come. Hearing Kane giving no respond, Combo will get in one of the pickups (Bobcat and Walton, he will take Bobcat) and drive away. However, a police Rancher will suddenly show up at the crime scene, ram on Bobcat hard, pushing Combo off the sandy path and causing him to toss on a tree. With his truck's hood blowing smoke, Combo gets out of the truck, holding his gun but he trips out and falls on the ground.

 

"Put your hands in the air!" One of the rangers points his gun on the lying Combo and shouts with an ordering tone.

 

However, Combo doesn't take the cop's warnings seriously and tries to reach his gun but other two police rangers pull him back and put handcuffs on him before he can. 

 

"Eeurgh! Get the f*ck off me, you bent blue wearin' clowns!" Combo yells in anger as his hands were cuffed.

 

"Shut the f*ck up and get up!" The ranger pointing the gun shouts while two other rangers get Combo up.

 

"You better not be 'round when I'm off these links." Combo says right into the ranger's face without a little sign of fear.

 

"Get yourself in the damn car, fatty before I get pissed." The ranger says proudly with a smug on his face as Combo is dragged into the cop jeep.

 

Taking back the control of Kane, get in the Walton and drive off the scene. As you leave the lockup, two police bikes will tail on you, and an eye in the sky is dispatched for you. Just follow that off-road path and lead to the small wooden bridge and you'll be shortly on the freeway (you can try to push bikes in the water, so it may ease your getaway).

 

However, when you're on the freeway, be careful because number of roadblocks will have been dispatched to get you. The best method would be riding off to the woods where the cops will be less likely to look for you (unless they notice you entering) and losing the heat would be easier.

 

After losing your wanted level, you're going to be ordered to contact West via. a payphone to have him know what happened. 

 

"Speak." West says from the other side of the line.

 

"The sh*t's f*cked up, man. Cops were all over the place and they got Combo." Kane, still trying to get his breath properly, tells in anxiety.

 

"You f*ckin' jokin'?" West clearly doesn't want to believe in what happened.

 

"I sound like f*ckin' jokin'!? Ya'll believe me after you seen Combo taken downtown on San News tonight." 

 

"sh*t!.. Come to my crib quick and be sure you ain't followed. Peace." West's cautious principle seems to be working much well.

 

Go to the hotel in Idlewood where West resides. Be sure that no rollers are on you before reaching the place.

 

After checking upon West's doorstep, Kane knocks on the doors and just a few seconds later, he faces a huge bulky silloutte that no one other than Tyrone who gives his classic intimidating look and lets him in.

 

Inside the room is quite dark, only a little sunshine shivering behind the curtains and full of smoke as can be judged by from the piles of dead cigarettes butts in the ashtray. As Kane's puts his foots into room, the smoke begins blowing away, revealing shadowy figures of West and Suge.

 

"Take a seat, man." West talks under his sloppy head, his hands are on the table, clapped to each other.

 

Kane sits right in front of West as Suge pours himself another glass of whiskey. West slowly moves his head up as Kane flicks a cigarette from its package.

 

"What's crackin'?" West says in a cold breathe, now fully facing off Kane.

 

"Crazy sh*t. Tha same kind of sh*t when Five-O hits up. What you want me to say?" Kane takes a strong toke from the cigarette and says as smoke in his mouth goes out.

 

"Combo?" West, still in a serious mood, asks.

 

"Probably up his way to meet some soap-droppin' cracker ass pounders." Kane says, implying Combo's inevitable fate of being sent to the jailhouse.

 

"Don't worry. He'll wire 'em a new hole if they try anythang." Suge says in a seriously witty manner, prompting Kane to pop up a miserable chuckle.

 

"The dope" West asks in an even more seriously attitude.

 

Kane says nothing but fingerpoints Tyrone whom he handed the merchandise.

 

"Oh man..." West says and tips his fingers around his eyes.

 

"So you say it's a sting?" Suge breaks into conversation."

 

"Seem like it. The minute we copped the sh*t... the place be crawlin' with all types of law abidin' f*ckas around the state." Kane now has laid his back on the chair fully, one arm is on the chair, the other arm is on the table; holding the smoky cigarette.

 

"f*cked up man." Suge says miserable, takes a deep toke from his cigarette and blows the smoke away.

 

"You ain't had rollers on yo' back, right?" Suge keeps asking while West still tries to get over the shock.

 

"I ain't seen anyone snoopin' out." Kane has started to become serious more.

 

"Uhh... maybe we got a leak?" Suge suggest after a little thinking session.

 

"Maybe... maybe it's that chubby bitch Combo after all." West gets back into chat, with the most shocking way possible.

 

"What!?" Kane can't believe his ears, hearing West's bullcrap.

 

"Think 'bout it. The dude walk down, shoot up, roll like a crazed maniac... he even shot up a 12 years old's fine ass...He a always beepin' cop detector."

 

"Bullsh*t! I know Combo be a trigger-happy motherf*cker but he ain't no snitch. He f*ckin' saved all of yo' asses lot f*ckin' times. If it ain't he, Front Yard'd be like Amsterdam and you end up scratching yo' poor asses." Kane striked down against West's heavy accusations.

 

"It matter now? If he sings, we all droppin' down lie domino stones." West still tries to keep calmly.

 

"Snitches get stitches, Kane... y'know that." Suge, like always, doesn't mess up his calm attitude.

 

"Remember what I told you, boy... before we partied yo' promotion... 'You gotta leash yo' dogs.'. But when he break loose, he'll take a bite o' anyone else 'round him. Then, you gotta ice your dog cold." West tries his hard to be reasonable to Kane.

 

"Oh God... stop with dat yo' lyrical bullsh*t. Then what 'bout 'We all family.' an' all that sh*t? We don't talk; we take blame fo' yo' sorry asses while you we yo' dicks outside and you promise to look after ou' people, ou' families. You remember that!? You two-faced bustas make me sick." West adopts a slowly streching tone.

 

"Go ahead and live at yo' pink, poofy fantasy world, stupid motherf*cka. Those days when we no bark and all bite... they over! OGs blowin' each others' heads over a piece of turf? It don't work like that no more. The game be changin', Kane and I'll play by the rules so me and my people ain't crushed under it." West finally blows off, yelling.

 

"Now you're the prophet fo' Willowfield black brother community, huh!? Ya'll just wait and do notin' like you always do while I sort this sh*t out!... Catch you later!" Kane stands up, hits both of his hands hard on the table, yelling the line and storming out of the crib afterwards.

 

...

 

II

 

Just a few hours after his tense meeting with West and Suge, Kane receives a phone call from an unknown number.

 

"Yeah?" Kane answers.

 

"Talk some respect to me, boy. I'm not your foster-mother." The mysterious voice says behind line, but it's familiar in a way.

 

"Who the f*ck's that?" Kane says in a creeped-out voice, no doubt.

 

"Officer Frank Tenpenny, LSPD. Don't tell you've forgotten me, Kaynard otherwise I'll be truly deeply hurt." The stranger voice reveals himself, Officer Tenpenny.

 

"How could I? How'd you get my number, punk?" 

 

"Hello... I'm a police officer, remember? Damn, Kane... I thought you was pretty wise fo a ghetto rat but..."

 

"Yeah, yeah. What you want?"

 

"Get yo' filthy drug pushin' ass to the donut shop in Market. We need to talk."

 

"And if I don't?"

 

"I'd drag your ass into a patrol car, pick up my nightstick and buttf*ck you till' we get back to that store. You understand?"

 

"Yes, officer."

 

"Then come here right now and come quick, you piece of sh*t. I'm waiting." Tenpenny tensely says and hangs up.

 

To have your next mission, go to Rusty Brown's Ring Donuts in Market where you'll meet with Tenpenny.

 

When kane enters the doughnut place, Officer Tenpenny is seen stuffing the last piece of his doughnut, upon that, his eyes cross Kane whom he calls to his table.

 

"Hey! Brice! Come over here, boy!" Tenpenny yells to Kane with chews of donut still in his mouth.

 

Kane checks by Tenpenny's table and takes a seat facing him.

 

"You finally came, Kane. I almost turned into a f*ckin' tree waitin' you here." Tenpenny swallows his chew and says.

 

"Business, officer. Business. What else can I say?" Kane talks back to Tenpenny in a mocking style.

 

"Business? Yeah, I know that kind of business; pushin' drugs, killin' cops and gettin' into deep sh*t. Your ol' beloved chief got cuffed with 10 k's of kush... Damn, Kane; you hood boys can't really keep your heads out of trouble, can't ya?" Tenpenny says with a sharp chuckles followin', sips some of his Sprunk.

 

"So you get me here to tell this sh*t? You do mental therapy with every dude you catch?" Kane still plays tough as long as it can be endured.

 

"No. What I mean to say is... we both can help out each other. I can wipe your and your fat-ass chief's sh*tty backs... and you can help me fight crime. Fair offer if you ask me." Tenpenny finally touches on the rationale of their unlikely meeting.

 

"Thanks, officer but I'd rather get buttf*cked with a nightstick."

 

"...Tough kid... You really don't get it, do you? Let me get this straight, you law-breaking wacko. I can sh*t on you from such a height you'll think God himself crapped on you... Now I hope you get it?" Tenpenny bursts a little bit of the Sprunk in his mouth, laughing Kane's joke, however he upon realizes the time is to be serious and talk some fear into Kane.

 

"Literally."

 

"Okay. Now listen... there those two brothers, Quentin and Preston Hamilton. They sling rat, just like you. See, I provide them, uhh... how can I say... some capitulation, so we all be happy." 

 

"So?" 

 

"Now they refuse to give a cut of their actions and better yet they say they're gonna sell me to DEA if I attempt anything... You f*ckin' believe that?"

 

"Wait! They gonna talk to DEA?" Kane puzzles when he hears about Hamilton Brothers' intention.

 

"When it's a hardworking police officer who loves his community, Kane... they'll do anything to bring him down. DEA, FBI, Internal Affairs, all of them. They go after shady drug barons partying their yachts doing coke drinkin' whiskey, or some commie terroist who can blow the whole country by a simple detonator... and they give me a slack how to do hood reality? sh*t! It's not like puttin' on some nice sunglasses and goin' after bad guys. The hood... it's reality itself. I know you boys get porched up, so you can put meat on yo' plates, but they don't know... they only care 'bout bumping up their funds. I can get you outta that sh*t pit you in, not those greedy ass motherf*ckers." Tenpenny gives a little information about the ideals of law enforcement units and later continues to drink his Sprunk.

 

"Officer please, I be end up cleanin' the Burger Shot's floors after this talk. I'm good." Kane talks back.

 

"Shut your bitch ass mouth! Now... anyway. Those sneak fools hold up at that old, beat-up Sprunk factory by the beach. Go there and wreck them with everything else they got." 

 

"Woah! You expect me to go right into some AK armed motherf*ckers defendin' their base... f*ck off!" Kane's absolutely aware of the risk of the deed.

 

"Use your head, Kaynard. It's a crack spot. They'll let anyone in lookin' for a cheap rush. And luckily, you won't even have to try, you already look like a rat who'd sell his ass for getting f*cked up. Now get there and send the ungrateful pieces of sh*t a message... loud and clear. Get the f*ck out of here." Tenpenny gives Kane a tip on how to enter the facility and later waves his hand up and down, telling him to go.

 

Kane gets up from the table and walks out of the store. 

 

Now you will have to make it to the old Sprunk Factory in East Beach, the base of Hamilton Brother, your target. Once you get there, you can choose to knock on the main gates of the factory, where you'll pose as a crackhead who wants to buy and you will be stripped of all your weapons. As a second method, you can get in the factory by some metal doors on the floor, located at the back of the factory. It'll lead you to the factory's basement. By that way, you will have your weapons and you have the chance to strike a direct assault. 

 

If you choose to enter by the main gates, this will trigger a cutscene inside the factory, showing a few junkies getting high on crack. Later, the camera will cut to the door after some loud knocking on it, prompting the bulky bodyguard to open it.

 

"What's up, man?" The bodyguard half-opens the door and streches his head to Kane.

 

"Need good sh*t to fly high, man. And they say you've it." Kane says that he's come to buy some drugs.

 

"You got the money? Fifty dollars a pop. Place to crash included."

 

"A'right man. Here you go." Kane goes to his pockets, produces fifty dollars and hands it to the bulky bodyguard.

 

Kane gets inside the factory after handing the cash.

 

"Now open yo' arms." 

 

Kane opens his arms and bodyguard seaches him from head to toe.

 

"Okay, man. Have fun." The bulky bodyguard farewells Kane inside.

 

After you've entered, you're ordered to search for the Hamilton Brothers. The first floor will be quite silent and uninteresting: there are crackheads who hit the bottom of their bongs, and some of them are sleeping on the floor or some beat-up sofas. Just there'll be few drug dealers roaming around with their basic weapons, like Pistol. So for further research, you'll need to go upstairs where safety precautions have taken a bigger step: the guards there will be pretty heavily armed, handling Machine Guns, even some of them are using AK-47s. By the time, you make it to the first floor, the armed drug dealers will open fire on you, so be prapered. However, if you entered from the basement, the dealers will shoot you on sight even if you're at the bottom floor because you're a new face around.

 

If you get in from the main entrance, you will have to get tooled up. You must seach the factory for firearms. As an extra tip, you can get several weapons from the drug dealers' self ammunition located at the basement, from Pistol to Micro SMG, from Micro SMG to AK-47, from AK-47 to handgrenades, from handgrenades to body armor.

 

Your objective is to shoot your way to the upper floors and eventually the Hamilton Brothers. The stone pillars, cartoon boxes (although they're extremely vulnerable to bullets) and some rusty machinery would help you while wiping out the attacking drug dealers.

 

Once you've reached the third floor and killed all the dealers, you will notice a wooden door by the end of the left side. Check near it and a cutscene will kick in.

 

The older of the brothers, Quentin all wrapped up in a purple flashy suit and a leopard-skin hat, takes a bunch of cash from his money counting machine and puts an ugly grin with a huge cigar in his mouth. Kane, armed with his Pistol, kicks the door open and confronts Quentin whose ugly grin is immediately ruined.

 

After they look at each other for a few seconds, Kane doesn't hesitate draw his Pistol on Quentin and fill his torso with bullets. Eventually Quentin's heads falls on his table which is covered with blood flowing through his mouth. 

 

After the execution, a flushing sound comes from the toilet. Then, the door opens, revealing the younger brother Preston (who is noticably a bit chubbier compared to his brother) who implies his shock by shouting "Oh sh*t!". Later, Preston throws a paper roll on Kane who gets distracted and misses all his shots on Preston who has already run away.

 

Running after Preston, Kane notices the fire exit leading to the roof of the factory. There he's confronted by Preston who waits him there by the huge Sprunk writing with a RPG on his shoulder.

 

"Don't even think it, motherf*cker." Preston shouts.

 

Preston points the launcher and fires a rocket on Kane, but luckily he's fast enough to run after a small stone brick just in time.

 

The fight with Preston will be a bit more trickier as he's able blow you up with one rocket. However, if you play strategically, you'll do fine. To protect from rocket attacks, take cover behind the big ventilator, filters and small stone walls on the roof. Then find the right time to strike on Preston (like when he's out of rockets and reloading his launcher). Also if you've collected handgrenades from the ammunition in the basement, you can try to blow Preston to death and with this way, you will spend less time to get rid of him. Once you've put Preston out of his misery, Kane will call Tenpenny to deliver the good news.

 

"Kaynard Brice, my favourite three-bit gangster with a happy trigger!.. How did it go?" Tenpenny will say from the other side of the line.

 

"Hamilton Brothers... they ain't no problem fo' yo' no more." Kane says that he killed both of the brothers.

 

"See, I ain't actually that bad. I occasionally let the bad guys live, so they can kill each other and redeem themselves. I'm a man who believes in everybody's worth of a second chance... even you anti-authority pieces of sh*t, right, Kane?" Tenpenny is obviously overjoyed with the deed done.

 

"Whatever." Kane tries to fend of Tenpenny who bellitles him for fun.

 

"Listen, boy. You done good, today. How'd you like to bang some more thugs like you and help me clean my streets? I know you crazy motherf*ckers like killin' each other." Tenpenny comes up with another leg work for Kane.

 

"Whatever to do my part for the community." Kane sarcastically answers.

 

"That's my man. Check out the bulletin boards in the police station. There you can find out about the public enemies we'd like to see hangin' on a rope. And guess what... As police, we'd reward you with good money for your sane work." Tenpenny explains the Los Santos police is willing to hand a good wad of cash to whoever helps them on eliminating wanted criminals.

 

"Money says 'Jump', you jump. Money says 'Cut you leg', you cut."

 

"You greedy buster. I know you'd kill for cold, hard cash. Catch you later, Kane... I've my eye on you." Tenpenny hangs up.

 

 

 

  • Most Wanted side missions are unlocked.
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Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

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    Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#76

Posted 01 December 2015 - 09:58 PM

Damn man that was some piece of literature.. felt like I was reading the script for an episode of The Wire set in Los Santos. The English wasn't perfect (although that sounds kind of stupid since it was full of ebonics) but I still got exactly what you were trying to say. I must admit I had forgotten who most of the characters were but I enjoyed it none the less. A case of Grade A street politics at its finest. I also loved Tenpenny's appearance, you played him right to the letter man well done. I know this story is set in the 3D era but your descriptions make everything seem really lifelike. Keep up the good work man I'm looking forward to seeing more.

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Tyla
  • Tyla

    The Dick Responsible

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#77

Posted 03 December 2015 - 08:54 AM

Let me echo what MOB has said, I really enjoyed Tenpenny's appearance and the reappearance of his notorious "...I'll take a crap on you from such a height" dialog. Only thing I'm not sure about is him introducing the Most Wanted missions. Tenpenny likes to control the hood like they're his pawns so I'm not sure he'd farm out wet work without there being something in it for him. Maybe there could be a drug ripoff element to it?

 

I really enjoyed the action in both missions, with the SWAT shootout reminding me of Reuniting The Families in San Andreas. Blowing up the Hamilton Bros was also a fun read and I liked the option of either going in through the basement or trying your luck going through the door and tooling up inside. Good job man. :^:

 

And I'll also be interested to read about how Combo's getting on in a Redneck prison in future chapters. If it's not his own brothers at his back, it's sure to be some hick cop.

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Loosestring
  • Loosestring

    Paranoid Android

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#78

Posted 04 December 2015 - 02:53 PM

Damn man that was some piece of literature.. felt like I was reading the script for an episode of The Wire set in Los Santos. The English wasn't perfect (although that sounds kind of stupid since it was full of ebonics) but I still got exactly what you were trying to say. I must admit I had forgotten who most of the characters were but I enjoyed it none the less. A case of Grade A street politics at its finest. I also loved Tenpenny's appearance, you played him right to the letter man well done. I know this story is set in the 3D era but your descriptions make everything seem really lifelike. Keep up the good work man I'm looking forward to seeing more.

Thanks, man. Being compared to a real masterpiece like The Wire always makes me glad and keeps me motivating. For Tenpenny, I've tried to show special care on him: yes, Kane's much less of a bitch to him than CJ, but Tenpenny is and should be a dick to him, yet I've tried to throw some dialogues in, he tries to be reasonable and serious with Kane.

 

 

Let me echo what MOB has said, I really enjoyed Tenpenny's appearance and the reappearance of his notorious "...I'll take a crap on you from such a height" dialog. Only thing I'm not sure about is him introducing the Most Wanted missions. Tenpenny likes to control the hood like they're his pawns so I'm not sure he'd farm out wet work without there being something in it for him. Maybe there could be a drug ripoff element to it?

 

I really enjoyed the action in both missions, with the SWAT shootout reminding me of Reuniting The Families in San Andreas. Blowing up the Hamilton Bros was also a fun read and I liked the option of either going in through the basement or trying your luck going through the door and tooling up inside. Good job man. :^:

 

And I'll also be interested to read about how Combo's getting on in a Redneck prison in future chapters. If it's not his own brothers at his back, it's sure to be some hick cop.

Thanks for the compliment, Tyla. It means a lot. About Most Wanted missions, let me straighten it out for you. Just consider Tenpenny's screwed-up interest relationship with Hamilton Brothers: yeah, Tenpenny manages to keep leash on lots of hood cats using his commission, but when they cross him, he doesn't hesitate to put them down hard. I've thought like you do when I first came up with the idea but Tenpenny's a crooked bastard, and how can we be sure the intel is rigged by him, so he can eliminate the threat... :sly:

 

For the part where the player's tasked with wiping out the Hamilton Brothers... I mean, sure this concept's writing style is mostly like of a TV series: solid and straight but I also throw other possible alternatives for the players sometimes so they can be free to choose how to get a deed done... maybe in a way where GTA IV secretly offers the player to do a mission in different ways.

 

BTW, I will work on the characters' bio soon; maybe throw in a few more background knowledge. Also I always wanted to change Nay Nay's name to prevent him getting confused with Nate. I was thinking of Leroy Jenkins as his new name but...


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#79

Posted 06 December 2015 - 04:13 PM

Thanks for the compliment, Tyla. It means a lot. About Most Wanted missions, let me straighten it out for you. Just consider Tenpenny's screwed-up interest relationship with Hamilton Brothers: yeah, Tenpenny manages to keep leash on lots of hood cats using his commission, but when they cross him, he doesn't hesitate to put them down hard. I've thought like you do when I first came up with the idea but Tenpenny's a crooked bastard, and how can we be sure the intel is rigged by him, so he can eliminate the threat... :sly:

 

For the part where the player's tasked with wiping out the Hamilton Brothers... I mean, sure this concept's writing style is mostly like of a TV series: solid and straight but I also throw other possible alternatives for the players sometimes so they can be free to choose how to get a deed done... maybe in a way where GTA IV secretly offers the player to do a mission in different ways.

 

BTW, I will work on the characters' bio soon; maybe throw in a few more background knowledge. Also I always wanted to change Nay Nay's name to prevent him getting confused with Nate. I was thinking of Leroy Jenkins as his new name but...

 

No problem man, much deserved as always. I can see it working whichever way you go with Tenpenny so stick with it. :^:

 

I've seen plenty of television shows that show multiple options/alternate endings so please feel free to take that as a cue to include more of them 'cause you're great at them. It's the attention to detail you have that makes them suspenseful.

 

Looking forward to what you're cooking up for us in the future. If your character bios are anything like your missions then you're gonna have the most fleshed out characters around here.


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#80

Posted 13 December 2015 - 03:28 AM

I just realized I hadn't dropped a single word on this topic like I did on the previous :blush:

I gave your topic a quick reread and I love all the new content. There are times I almost overlook the fact that this is set in the 3d universe, because it just feels so much like an HD universe concept, its so detailed. Keep it up, man. Great work. :^:

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#81

Posted 27 April 2016 - 11:59 AM

Are you by any chance still working on this man?


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#82

Posted 29 April 2016 - 10:51 AM

Are you by any chance still working on this man?

Actually I'm working on much more extended characters bios (also I want change Nay Nay's name because I think it causes confusion between him and Nate) and Part 17 for a time. Unfortunately, I couldn't pace up and find the energy to fully complete them because of my presentations and homeworks. However, luckily my presentations and homework will come to an end next Thursay, or so. So I may be able to post character bios soon. Another good thing is that summer is coming, I may be able to work on the concept more.


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#83

Posted 07 May 2016 - 12:20 PM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 07 May 2016 - 12:56 PM.

 

Are you by any chance still working on this man?

Actually I'm working on much more extended characters bios (also I want change Nay Nay's name because I think it causes confusion between him and Nate) and Part 17 for a time. Unfortunately, I couldn't pace up and find the energy to fully complete them because of my presentations and homeworks. However, luckily my presentations and homework will come to an end next Thursay, or so. So I may be able to post character bios soon. Another good thing is that summer is coming, I may be able to work on the concept more.

 

That's good to hear man. Yeah it does make sense to change Nay Nay's name given that this is a piece of literature and he and Nate's name's are really similar which as you say could lead to confusion.

 

Actually while you're changing character names it might be a good idea to make Sakis "Zeus" Papadakis into an Armenian rather than a Greek. It would be more true to life given the large Armenian community in RL Los Angeles and his links to the Russian Mafia would make more sense aswell given that Armenia was part of the Soviet Union up until its dissolution in 1991.

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#84

Posted 07 May 2016 - 11:31 PM Edited by Loosestring, 07 May 2016 - 11:46 PM.

 

 

Are you by any chance still working on this man?

Actually I'm working on much more extended characters bios (also I want change Nay Nay's name because I think it causes confusion between him and Nate) and Part 17 for a time. Unfortunately, I couldn't pace up and find the energy to fully complete them because of my presentations and homeworks. However, luckily my presentations and homework will come to an end next Thursay, or so. So I may be able to post character bios soon. Another good thing is that summer is coming, I may be able to work on the concept more.

Actually while you're changing character names it might be a good idea to make Sakis "Zeus" Papadakis into an Armenian rather than a Greek. It would be more true to life given the large Armenian community in RL Los Angeles and his links to the Russian Mafia would make more sense aswell given that Armenia was part of the Soviet Union up until its dissolution in 1991.

Thanks for the suggestion, man. Actually I give importance to thing being more accurate, but I think there's something about Zeus I feel like would lose its sense if it's changed. Well... the thing is that... how can I put it... Zeus is someone that has acquired a higher position than probably the one he actually deserves. I try to give the glimpses on how Zeus brags about this and acts like a big-shot when actually he's a cheap and in deep, low-appreciated foot soldier of some kind. And that's probably why he preffered the nickname "Zeus", the supreme God of Olympians, bringing a shine to his self-righteous ego and wrong assumption on himself being so important. I like making word plays like this, as in a drama like State on the Edge of Forever where everyone adopts a persona which generally contradicts with who they actually are, I believe it's both strong and also funny. 

 

As far as I remember also somebody else (it was Tyla, I guess) suggested Greeks' role being switched with Armenians to make it more real-life, but I'll probably stick to the character Zeus because of the reason I mentioned above.

 

To remind, I also was some sort of unhappy with how Part 2 and Part 3 in this chapter took shape. I may change and turn them into one single chapter in that case, everything may work out better for my liking.

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#85

Posted 08 May 2016 - 05:05 AM

It's great to hear you're still working on this, man. I'm looking forward to the next updates :^:

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#86

Posted 08 May 2016 - 11:39 AM

 

 

 

Are you by any chance still working on this man?

Actually I'm working on much more extended characters bios (also I want change Nay Nay's name because I think it causes confusion between him and Nate) and Part 17 for a time. Unfortunately, I couldn't pace up and find the energy to fully complete them because of my presentations and homeworks. However, luckily my presentations and homework will come to an end next Thursay, or so. So I may be able to post character bios soon. Another good thing is that summer is coming, I may be able to work on the concept more.

Actually while you're changing character names it might be a good idea to make Sakis "Zeus" Papadakis into an Armenian rather than a Greek. It would be more true to life given the large Armenian community in RL Los Angeles and his links to the Russian Mafia would make more sense aswell given that Armenia was part of the Soviet Union up until its dissolution in 1991.

Thanks for the suggestion, man. Actually I give importance to thing being more accurate, but I think there's something about Zeus I feel like would lose its sense if it's changed. Well... the thing is that... how can I put it... Zeus is someone that has acquired a higher position than probably the one he actually deserves. I try to give the glimpses on how Zeus brags about this and acts like a big-shot when actually he's a cheap and in deep, low-appreciated foot soldier of some kind. And that's probably why he preffered the nickname "Zeus", the supreme God of Olympians, bringing a shine to his self-righteous ego and wrong assumption on himself being so important. I like making word plays like this, as in a drama like State on the Edge of Forever where everyone adopts a persona which generally contradicts with who they actually are, I believe it's both strong and also funny. 

 

As far as I remember also somebody else (it was Tyla, I guess) suggested Greeks' role being switched with Armenians to make it more real-life, but I'll probably stick to the character Zeus because of the reason I mentioned above.

Yeah I can see your reasoning man. Although it would be kind of funny if he purported to be Greek in order to stand out when in reality he is just a lowly Armenian peasant who the big shots keep around for pure entertainment due to his grandiose delusions. He could also easily be a Greek-Armenian since immigration between the two countries was quite common prior to the 1990s.





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